第二十一回

第二十一回 虔婆醉打唐牛儿 宋江怒杀阎婆惜

古风一首：

宋朝运祚将倾覆，四海英雄起寥廓。

流光垂象在山东，天罡上应三十六。

瑞气盘缠绕郓城，此乡生降宋公明。

神清貌古真奇异，一举能令天下惊。

幼年涉猎诸经史，长为吏役决刑名。

仁义礼智信皆备，曾受九天玄女经。

江湖结纳诸豪杰，扶危济困恩威行。

他年自到梁山泊，绣旗影摇云水滨。

替天行道呼保义，上应玉府天魁星。

话说宋江在酒楼上与刘唐说了话，分付了回书，送下楼来，刘唐连夜自回梁山泊去了。只说宋江乘着月色满街，信步自回下处来，一头走，一面肚里想：“那晁盖却空教刘唐来走这一遭，早是没做公的看见，争些儿露出事来。”走不过三二十步，只听得背后有人叫声押司。宋江转回头来看时，却是做媒的王婆，引着一个婆子，却与他说道：“你有缘，做好事的押司来也。”宋江转身来问道：“有什么话说？”王婆拦住，指着阎婆对宋江说道：“押司不知，这一家儿从东京来，不是这里人家。嫡亲三口儿，夫主阎公，有个女儿婆惜。他那阎公，平昔是个好唱的人，自小教得他那女儿婆惜也会唱诸般耍令[2]。年方一十八岁，颇有些颜色。三口儿因来山东投奔一个官人不着，流落在此郓城县。不想这里的人不喜风流宴乐，因此不能过活，在这县后一个僻净巷内权住。昨日他的家公因害时疫死了，这阎婆无钱津送，停尸在家，没做道理处，央及老身做媒。我道这般时节，那里有这等恰好，又没借换处。正在这里走头没路的，只见押司打从这里过来，以此老身与这阎婆赶来。望押司可怜见他则个，作成一具棺材。”宋江道：“原来恁地。你两个跟我来，去巷口酒店里借笔砚写个帖子与你，去县东陈三郎家取具棺材。”宋江又问道：“你有结果[3]使用么？”阎婆答道：“实不瞒押司说，棺材尚无，那讨使用，其实缺少。”宋江道：“我再与你银子十两做使用钱。”阎婆道：“便是重生的父母，再长的爹娘。做驴做马报答押司。”宋江道：“休要如此说。”随即取出一锭银子，递与阎婆，自回下处去了。且说这婆子将了帖子，径来县东街陈三郎家，取了一具棺材，回家发送了当，兀自馀剩下五六两银子，娘儿两个把来盘缠，不在话下。

忽一朝，那阎婆因来谢宋江，见他下处没有一个妇人家面，回来问间壁王婆道：“宋押司下处不见一个妇人面，他曾有娘子也无？”王婆道：“只闻宋押司家里在宋家村住，不曾见说他有娘子。在这县里做押司，只是客居。常常见他散施棺材药饵，极肯济人贫苦。敢怕是未有娘子。”阎婆道：“我这女儿长得好模样，又会唱曲儿，省得诸般耍笑。从小儿在东京时，只去行院[4]人家串，那一个行院不爱他。有几个上行首[5]要问我过房几次，我不肯。只因我两口儿无人养老，因此不过房与他，不想今来倒苦了他。我前日去谢宋押司，见他下处无娘子，因此央你与我对宋押司说，他若要讨人时，我情愿把婆惜与他。我前日得你作成，亏了宋押司救济，无可报答他，与他做个亲眷来往。”王婆听了这话，次日来见宋江，备细说了这件事。宋江初时不肯，怎当这婆子撮合山[6]的嘴，撺掇[7]宋江依允了。就在县西巷内，讨了一所楼房，置办些家火什物，安顿了阎婆惜娘儿两个在那里居住。没半月之间，打扮得阎婆惜满头珠翠，遍体金玉。正是：

花容袅娜，玉质娉婷。髻横一片乌云，眉扫半弯新月。金莲窄窄，湘裙微露不胜情；玉笋纤纤，翠袖半笼无限意。星眼浑如点漆，酥胸真似截肪。韵度若风里海棠花，标格似雪中玉梅树。金屋美人离御苑，蕊珠仙子下尘寰。

宋江又过几日，连那婆子也有若干头面衣服，端的养的婆惜丰衣足食。初时宋江夜夜与婆惜一处歇卧，向后渐渐来得慢了。却是为何？原来宋江是个好汉，只爱学使枪棒，于女色上不十分要紧。这阎婆惜水也似后生，况兼十八九岁，正在妙龄之际，因此宋江不中那婆娘意。

一日，宋江不合带后司贴书张文远来阎婆惜家吃酒。这张文远却是宋江的同房押司，那厮唤做小张三，生得眉清目秀，齿白唇红。平昔只爱去三瓦两舍，飘蓬浮荡，学得一身风流俊俏，更兼品竹弹丝，无有不会。这婆惜是个酒色娼妓，一见张三，心里便喜，倒有意看上他。那张三见这婆惜有意，以目送情。等宋江起身净手，倒把言语来嘲惹张三。常言道：风不来，树不动；船不摇，水不浑。那张三亦是个酒色之徒，这事如何不晓得。因见这婆娘眉来眼去，十分有情，记在心里。向后宋江不在时，这张三便去那里，假意儿只做来寻宋江。那婆娘留住吃茶，言来语去，成了此事。谁想那婆娘自从和那张三两个搭识上了，打得火块一般热，亦且这张三又是惯会弄此事的。岂不闻古人之言：一不将，二不带。只因宋江千不合，万不合，带这张三来他家里吃酒，以此看上了他。自古道：风流茶说合，酒是色媒人。正犯着这条款。阎婆惜是个风尘娼妓的性格，自从和那小张三两个搭上了，他并无半点儿情分在那宋江身上。宋江但若来时，只把言语伤他，全不兜揽他些个。这宋江是个好汉胸襟，不以这女色为念，因此半月十日去走得一遭。那张三和这婆惜，如胶似漆，夜去明来。街坊上人也都知了，却有些风声吹在宋江耳朵里。宋江半信不信，自肚里寻思道：“又不是我父母匹配的妻室，他若无心恋我，我没来由惹气做甚么。我只不上门便了。”自此有个月不去。阎婆累使人来请，宋江只推事故，不上门去。

忽一日晚间，却好见那阎婆赶到县前来，叫道：“押司，多日使人相请，好贵人难见面。便是小贱人有些言语高低，伤触了押司，也看得老身薄面，自教训他与押司陪话。今晚老身有缘得见押司，同走一遭去。”宋江道：“我今日县里事务忙，摆拨不开，改日却来。”阎婆道：“这个使不得。我女儿在家里，专望押司，胡乱温顾他便了。直恁地下得！”宋江道：“端的忙些个，明日准来。”阎婆道：“我今晚要和你去。”便把宋江衣袖扯住了，发话道：“是谁挑拨你？我娘儿两个下半世过活都靠着押司，外人说的闲是闲非都不要听他，押司自做个张主。我女儿但有差错，都在老身身上。押司胡乱去走一遭。”宋江道：“你不要缠，我的事务分拨不开在这里。”阎婆道：“押司便误了些公事，知县相公不到得便责罚你。这回错过，后次难逢。押司只得和老身去走一遭，到家里自有告诉。”宋江是个快性的人，吃那婆子缠不过，便道：“你放了手，我去便了。”阎婆道：“押司不要跑了去，老人家赶不上。”宋江道：“直恁地这等！”两个厮跟着来到门前。有诗为证：

酒不醉人人自醉，花不迷人人自迷。

直饶今日能知悔，何不当初莫去为。

宋江立住了脚。阎婆把手一拦，说道：“押司来到这里，终不成不入去了！”宋江进到里面凳子上坐了。那婆子是乖的，自古道，老虔婆，如何出得他手。只怕宋江走去，便帮在身边坐了，叫道：“我儿，你心爱的三郎在这里。”那阎婆惜倒在床上，对着盏孤灯，正在没可寻思处，只等这小张三来。听得娘叫道“你的心爱的三郎在这里”，那婆娘只道是张三郎，慌忙起来，把手掠一掠云髻，口里喃喃的骂道：“这短命，等得我苦也！老娘先打两个耳刮子着。”飞也似跑下楼来。就槅子眼里张时，堂前琉璃灯却明亮，照见是宋江，那婆娘复翻身再上楼去了，依前倒在床上。阎婆听得女儿脚步下楼来了，又听得再上楼去了。婆子又叫道：“我儿，你的三郎在这里，怎地倒走了去？”那婆惜在床上应道：“这屋里不远，他不会来！他又不瞎，如何自不上来，直等我来迎接他。没了当絮絮聒聒地！”阎婆道：“这贱人真个望不见押司来，气苦了。恁地说，也好教押司受他两句儿。”婆子笑道：“押司，我同你上楼去。”宋江听了那婆娘说这几句，心里自有五分不自在，被这婆子一扯，勉强只得上楼去。原来是一间六椽楼屋，前半间安一副春台桌凳，后半间铺着卧房。贴里安一张三面棱花的床，两边都是栏干，上挂着一顶红罗幔帐。侧首放个衣架，搭着手巾，这边放着个洗手盆。一张金漆桌子上，放一个锡灯台，边厢两个杌子。正面壁上，挂一幅仕女。对床排着四把一字交椅。

宋江来到楼上，阎婆便拖入房里去。宋江便望杌子上朝着床边坐了。阎婆就床上拖起女儿来，说道：“押司在这里。我儿，你只是性气不好，把言语伤触了他，恼得押司不上门，闲时却在家里思量。我如今不容易请得他来，你却不起来陪句话儿，颠倒使性！”婆惜把手拓开，说那婆子：“你做甚么这般鸟乱，我又不曾做了歹事！他自不上门，教我怎地陪话！”宋江听了，也不做声。婆子便掇过一把交椅在宋江肩下，便推他女儿过来，说道：“你且和三郎坐一坐，不陪话便罢，不要焦躁。你两个多时不见，也说一句有情的话儿。”那婆娘那里肯过来，便去宋江对面坐了。宋江低了头不做声。婆子看女儿时，也别转了脸。阎婆道：“没酒没浆，做什么道场。老身有一瓶儿好酒在这里，买些果品来与押司陪话。我儿，你相陪押司坐地，不要怕羞，我便来也。”宋江自寻思道：“我吃这婆子钉住了，脱身不得。等他下楼去，我随后也走了。”那婆子瞧见宋江要走的意思，出得房门去，门上却有屈戌[8]，便把房门拽上，将屈戌搭了。宋江暗忖道：“那虔婆倒先算了我。”

且说阎婆下楼来，先去灶前点起个灯，灶里见成烧着一锅脚汤，再凑上些柴头。拿了些碎银子，出巷口去买得些时新果子，鲜鱼嫩鸡肥鲊之类，归到家中，都把盘子盛了。取酒倾在盆里，舀半旋子，在锅里盪热了，倾在酒壶里。收拾了数盘菜蔬，三只酒盏，三双箸，一桶盘托上楼来，放在春台上。开了房门，搬将入来，摆在桌子上。看宋江时，只低着头。看女儿时，也朝着别处。阎婆道：“我儿起来把盏酒。”婆惜道：“你们自吃，我不耐烦。”婆子道：“我儿，爷娘手里从小儿惯了你性儿，别人面上须使不得。”婆惜道：“不把盏便怎地我！终不成飞剑来取了我头！”那婆子倒笑起来，说道：“又是我的不是了。押司是个风流人物，不和你一般见识。你不把酒便罢，且回过脸来吃盏儿酒。”婆惜只不回过头来。那婆子自把酒来劝宋江，宋江勉意吃了一盏。婆子道：“押司莫要见责。闲话都打叠起，明日慢慢告诉。外人见押司在这里，多少干热的[9]不怯气[10]，胡言乱语，放屁辣臊。押司都不要听，且只顾饮酒。”筛了三盏在桌子上，说道：“我儿不要使小孩儿的性，胡乱吃一盏酒。”婆惜道：“没得只顾缠我！我饱了，吃不得。”阎婆道：“我儿，你也陪侍你的三郎吃盏酒使得。”婆惜一头听了，一面肚里寻思：“我只心在张三身上，兀谁奈烦相伴这厮！若不把他灌得醉了，他必来缠我。”婆惜只得勉意拿起酒来，吃了半盏。婆子笑道：“我儿只是焦躁，且开怀吃两盏儿睡。押司也满饮几杯。”宋江被他劝不过，连饮了三五盏。婆子也连连饮了几盏，再下楼去盪酒。那婆子见女儿不吃酒，心中不悦。才见女儿回心吃酒，欢喜道：“若是今夜兜得他住，那人恼恨都忘了。且又和他缠几时，却再商量。”婆子一头寻思，一面自在灶前吃了三大锺酒，觉道有些痒麻上来，却又筛了一碗吃，旋了大半旋，倾在注子里，爬上楼来。见那宋江低着头不做声，女儿也别转着脸弄裙子，这婆子哈哈地笑道：“你两个又不是泥塑的，做甚么都不做声？押司，你不合是个男子汉，只得装些温柔，说些风话儿耍。”宋江正没做道理处，口里只不做声，肚里好生进退不得。阎婆惜自想道：“你不来采我，指望老娘一似闲常时来陪你话，相伴你耍笑，我如今却不耍！”那婆子吃了许多酒，口里只管夹七带八嘈，正在那里张家长，李家短，白说绿道。有诗为证：

假意虚脾却似真，花言巧语弄精神。

几多伶俐遭他陷，死后应知拔舌根。

却有郓城县一个买糟腌的唐二哥，叫做唐牛儿，如常在街上只是帮闲，常常得宋江赍助他。但有些公事去告宋江，也落得几贯钱使。宋江要用他时，死命向前。这一日晚，正赌钱输了，没做道理处，却去县前寻宋江，奔到下处寻不见。街坊都道：“唐二哥，你寻谁这般忙？”唐牛儿道：“我喉急了，要寻孤老，一地里不见他。”众人道：“你的孤老是谁？”唐牛儿道：“便是县里宋押司。”众人道：“我方才见他和阎婆两个过去，一路走着。”唐牛儿道：“是了。这阎婆惜贼贱虫，他自和张三两个打得火块也似热，只瞒着宋押司一个。他敢也知些风声，好几时不去了，今晚必然吃那老咬虫[11]假意儿缠了去。我正没钱使，喉急了，胡乱去那里寻几贯钱使，就帮两碗酒吃。”一径奔到阎婆门前，见里面灯明，门却不关。入到胡梯边，听的阎婆在楼上呵呵地笑。唐牛儿捏脚捏手，上到楼上，板壁缝里张时，见宋江和婆惜两个，都低着头；那婆子坐在横头桌子边，口里七十三八十四只顾嘈。唐牛儿闪将入来，看着阎婆和宋江、婆惜，唱了三个喏，立在边头。宋江寻思道：“这厮来的最好。”把嘴望下一努。唐牛儿是个乖的人，便瞧科[12]，看着宋江便说道：“小人何处不寻过，原来却在这里吃酒耍。好吃得安稳！”宋江道：“莫不是县里有甚么要紧事？”唐牛儿道：“押司，你怎地忘了？便是早间那件公事，知县相公在厅上发作，着四五替公人来下处寻押司，一地里又没寻处。相公焦躁做一片。押司便可动身。”宋江道：“恁地要紧，只得去。”便起身要下楼。吃那婆子拦住道：“押司不要使这科段。这唐牛儿捻泛[13]过来，你这精贼也瞒老娘，正是鲁般手里调大斧。这早晚知县自回衙去，和夫人吃酒取乐，有甚么事务得发作？你这般道儿，只好瞒魍魉[14]，老娘手里说不过去。”唐牛儿便道：“真个是知县相公紧等的勾当，我却不会说谎。”阎婆道：“放你娘狗屁！老娘一双眼，却似琉璃葫芦儿一般。却才见押司努嘴过来，叫你发科，你倒不撺掇押司来我屋里，颠倒打抹[15]他去。常言道：杀人可恕，情理难容！”这婆子跳起身来，便把那唐牛儿劈脖子只一叉，踉踉跄跄直从房里叉下楼来。唐牛儿道：“你做甚么便叉我？”婆子喝道：“你不晓得，破人买卖衣饭，如杀父母妻子。你高做声，便打你这贼乞丐！”唐牛儿钻将过来道：“你打！”这婆子乘着酒兴，叉开五指，去那唐牛儿脸上连打两掌，直出帘子外去。婆子便扯帘子，撇放门背后，却把两扇门关上，拿拴拴了，口里只顾骂。那唐牛儿吃了这两掌，立在门前大叫道：“贼老咬虫不要慌！我不看宋押司面皮，教你这屋里粉碎，教你双日不着单日着。我不结果了你，不姓唐！”拍着胸，大骂了去。

婆子再到楼上，看着宋江道：“押司没事采那乞丐做甚么。那厮一地里去搪[16]酒吃，只是搬是搬非。这等倒街卧巷的横死贼，也来上门上户欺负人。”宋江是个真实的人，吃这婆子一篇道着了真病，倒抽身不得。婆子道：“押司不要心里见责老身，只恁地知重得了。我儿，和押司只吃这杯。我猜着你两个多时不见，以定要早睡，收拾了罢休。”婆子又劝宋江吃两杯，收拾杯盘下楼去，自去灶下去。宋江在楼上自肚里寻思说：“这婆子女儿和张三两个有事，我心里半信不信，眼里不曾见真实。待要去来，只道我村。况且夜深了，我只得权睡一睡，且看这婆娘怎地，今夜与我情分如何。”只见那婆子又上楼来，说道：“夜深了，我叫押司两口儿早睡。”那婆娘应道：“不干你事，你自去睡。”婆子笑下楼来，口里道：“押司安置。今夜多欢，明日慢慢地起。”婆子下楼来，收拾了灶上，洗了脚手，吹灭灯，自去睡了。

却说宋江坐在杌子上，只指望那婆娘似比先时，先来偎倚陪话，胡乱又将就几时。谁想婆惜心里寻思道：“我只思量张三，吃他搅了，却似眼中钉一般。那厮倒直指望我一似先时前来下气，老娘如今却不要耍。只见说撑船就岸，几曾有撑岸就船。你不来采我，老娘倒落得。”看官听说，原来这色最是怕人。若是他有心恋你时，身上便有刀剑水火也拦他不住，他也不怕；若是他无心恋你时，你便身坐在金银堆里，他也不采你。常言道：佳人有意村夫俏，红粉无心浪子村。宋公明是个勇烈大丈夫，为女色的手段却不会。这阎婆惜被那张三小意儿百依百随，轻怜重惜，卖俏迎奸，引乱这婆娘的心，如何肯恋宋江。当夜两个在灯下坐着，对面都不做声，各自肚里踌躇，却似等泥干掇入庙。看看天色夜深，只见窗上月光。但见：

银河耿耿，玉漏迢迢。穿窗斜月映寒光，透户凉风吹夜气。雁声嘹亮，孤眠才子梦魂惊；蛩韵凄凉，独宿佳人情绪苦。谯楼禁鼓，一更未尽一更催；别院寒砧，千捣将残千捣起。画檐间叮当铁马，敲碎旅客孤怀；银台上闪烁清灯，偏照离人长叹。贪淫妓女心如铁，仗义英雄气似虹。

当下宋江坐在杌子上，睃那婆娘时，复地叹口气。约莫也是二更天气，那婆娘不脱衣裳，便上床去，自倚了绣枕，扭过身，朝里壁自睡了。宋江看了，寻思道：“可奈这贱人全不采我些个，他自睡了。我今日吃这婆子言来语去，央了几杯酒，打熬不得夜深，只得睡了罢。”把头上巾帻除下，放在桌子上，脱下上盖衣裳，搭在衣架上。腰里解下銮带，上有一把压衣刀和招文袋，却挂在床边栏干子上。脱去了丝鞋净袜，便上床去那婆娘脚后睡了。半个更次，听得婆惜在脚后冷笑。宋江心里气闷，如何睡得着。自古道：欢娱嫌夜短，寂寞恨更长。看看三更交半夜，酒却醒了。捱到五更，宋江起来，面桶里洗了脸，便穿了上盖衣裳，带了巾帻，口里骂道：“你这贼贱人好生无礼！”婆惜也不曾睡着，听得宋江骂时，扭过身回道：“你不羞这脸！”宋江忿那口气，便下楼来。

阎婆听得脚步响，便在床上说道：“押司且睡歇，等天明去。没来由起五更做甚么？”宋江也不应，只顾来开门。婆子又道：“押司出去时，与我拽上门。”宋江出得门来，就拽上了。忿那口气没出处，一直要奔回下处来。却从县前过，见一碗灯明，看时，却是卖汤药[17]的王公，来到县前赶早市。那老儿见是宋江来，慌忙道：“押司如何今日出来得早？”宋江道：“便是夜来酒醉，错听更鼓。”王公道：“押司必然伤酒，且请一盏醒酒二陈汤。”宋江道：“最好。”就凳上坐了。那老子浓浓地奉一盏二陈汤，递与宋江吃。宋江吃了，蓦然想起道：“如常吃他的汤药，不曾要我还钱。我旧时曾许他一具棺材，不曾与得他。”想起前日有那晁盖送来的金子，受了他一条在招文袋里，何不就与那老儿做棺材钱，教他欢喜？宋江便道：“王公，我日前曾许你一具棺木钱，一向不曾把得与你。今日我有些金子在这里，把与你，你便可将去陈三郎家买了一具棺材，放在家里。你百年归寿时，我却再与你些送终之资，若何？”王公道：“恩主如常觑[18]老汉，又蒙与终身寿具，老子今世报答不得押司，后世做驴做马报答官人。”宋江道：“休如此说。”便揭起背子前襟去取那招文袋时，吃了一惊，道：“苦也！昨夜正忘在那贱人的床头栏干子上，我一时气起来，只顾走了，不曾系得在腰里。这几两金子直得甚么，须有晁盖寄来的那一封书包着这金。我本欲在酒楼上刘唐前烧毁了，他回去说时，只道我不把他来为念。正要将到下处来烧，又谁想王婆布施棺材，就成了这件事，一向蹉跎忘了。昨夜晚正记起来，又不曾烧得，却被这阎婆缠将我去，因此忘在这贱人家里床头栏干子上。我时常见这婆娘看些曲本，颇识几字，若是被他拿了，倒是利害。”便起身道：“阿公休怪。不是我说谎，只道金子在招文袋里，不想出来得忙，忘了在家。我去取来与你。”王公道：“休要去取，明日慢慢的与老汉不迟。”宋江道：“阿公，你不知道，我还有一件物事做一处放着，以此要去取。”宋江慌慌急急，奔回阎婆家里来。正是：

合是英雄命运乖，遗前忘后可怜哉。

循环莫谓天无意，酝酿原知祸有胎。

且说这阎婆惜听得宋江出门去了，爬将起来，口里自言语道：“那厮搅了老娘一夜睡不着。那厮含脸[19]，只指望老娘陪气下情。我不信你，老娘自和张三过得好，谁奈烦采你。你不上门来，倒好！”口里说着，一头铺被，脱下上截袄儿，解了下面裙子，袒开胸前，脱下截衬衣。床面前灯却明亮，照见床头栏干子上拖下条紫罗銮带。婆惜见了，笑道：“黑三那厮吃喝不尽，忘了銮带在这里。老娘且捉了，把来与张三系。”便用手去一提，提起招文袋和刀子来。只觉袋里有些重，便把手抽开，望桌子上只一抖，正抖出那包金子和书来。这婆娘拿起来看时，灯下照见是黄黄的一条金子。婆惜笑道：“天教我和张三买物事吃。这几日我见张三瘦了，我也正要买些东西和他将息。”将金子放下，却把那纸书展开来灯下看时，上面写着晁盖并许多事务。婆惜道：“好呀！我只道吊桶落在井里，原来也有井落在吊桶里。我正要和张三两个做夫妻，单单只多你这厮，今日也撞在我手里。原来你和梁山泊强贼通同往来，送一百两金子与你。且不要慌，老娘慢慢地消遣你！”就把这封书依原包了金子，还插在招文袋里。“不怕你教五圣来摄了去。”正在楼上自言自语，只听得楼下呀地门响。婆子问道：“是谁？”宋江道：“是我。”婆子道：“我说早哩，押司却不信，要去。原来早了又回来，且再和姐姐睡一睡，到天明去。”宋江也不回话，一径奔上楼来。那婆娘听得是宋江回来，慌忙把銮带、刀子、招文袋一发卷做一块，藏在被里，紧紧地靠了床里壁，只做齁齁假睡着。宋江撞到房里，径去床头栏干上取时，却不见了。宋江心内自慌，只得忍了昨夜的气，把手去摇那妇人道：“你看我日前的面，还我招文袋。”那婆惜假睡着，只不应。宋江又摇道：“你不要急躁，我自明日与你陪话。”婆惜道：“老娘正睡哩，是谁搅我？”宋江道：“你晓的是我，假做甚么。”婆惜扭转身道：“黑三，你说什么？”宋江道：“你还了我招文袋。”婆惜道：“你在那里交付与我手里，却来问我讨？”宋江道：“忘了在你脚后小栏干上。这里又没人来，只是你收得。”婆惜道：“呸！你不见鬼来！”宋江道：“夜来是我不是了，明日与你陪话。你只还了我罢，休要作耍。”婆惜道：“谁和你作耍，我不曾收得。”宋江道：“你先时不曾脱衣裳睡，如今盖着被子睡，以定是起来铺被时拿了。”婆惜只是不与。正是：

雨意云情两罢休，无端懊恼触心头。

重来欲索招文袋，致使鸳帏血漫流。

只见那婆惜柳眉踢竖，星眼圆睁，说道：“老娘拿是拿了，只是不还你。你使官府的人便拿我去做贼断。”宋江道：“我须不曾冤你做贼。”婆惜道：“可知老娘不是贼哩。”宋江见这话，心里越慌，便说道：“我须不曾歹看承你娘儿两个。还了我罢，我要去干事。”婆惜道：“闲常也只嗔老娘和张三有事，他有些不如你处，也不该一刀的罪犯，不强似你和打劫贼通同。”宋江道：“好姐姐，不要叫。邻舍听得，不是耍处。”婆惜道：“你怕外人听得，你莫做不得！这封书老娘牢牢地收着，若要饶你时，只依我三件事便罢。”宋江道：“休说三件事，便是三十件事也依你。”婆惜道：“只怕依不得。”宋江道：“当行即行。敢问那三件事？”阎婆惜道：“第一件，你可从今日便将原典我的文书来还我，再写一纸任从我改嫁张三，并不敢再来争执的文书。”宋江道：“这个依得。”婆惜道：“第二件，我头上带的，我身上穿的，家里使用的，虽都是你办的，也委一纸文书，不许你日后来讨。”宋江道：“这个也依得。”阎婆惜道：“只怕你第三件依不得。”宋江道：“我已两件都依你，缘何这件依不得？”婆惜道：“有那梁山泊晁盖送与你的一百两金子，快把来与我，我便饶你这一场天字第一号官司，还你这招文袋里的款状。”宋江道：“那两件倒都依得。这一百两金子，果然送来与我，我不肯受他的，依前教他把了回去。若端的有时，双手便送与你。”婆惜道：“可知哩！常言道：公人见钱，如蝇子见血。他使人送金子与你，你岂有推了转去的，这话却似放屁！做公人的，那个猫儿不吃腥？阎罗王面前须没放回的鬼，你待瞒谁？便把这一百两金子与我，直得甚么！你怕是贼赃时，快熔过了与我。”宋江道：“你也须知我是老实的人，不会说谎。你若不信，限我三日，我将家私变卖一百两金子与你。你还了我招文袋。”婆惜冷笑道：“你这黑三倒乖，把我一似小孩儿般捉弄。我便先还了你招文袋这封书，歇三日却问你讨金子，正是棺材出了讨挽歌郎[20]钱。我这里一手交钱，一手交货。你快把来，两相交割。”宋江道：“果然不曾有这金子。”婆惜道：“明朝到公厅上，你也说不曾有这金子？”宋江听了公厅两字，怒气直起，那里按纳得住，睁着眼道：“你还也不还？”那妇人道：“你恁地狠，我便还你不迭！”宋江道：“你真个不还？”婆惜道：“不还！再饶你一百个不还！若要还时，在郓城县还你！”宋江便来扯那婆惜盖的被。妇人身边却有这件物，倒不顾被，两手只紧紧地抱住胸前。宋江扯开被来，却见这銮带头正在那妇人胸前拖下来。宋江道：“原来却在这里。”一不做，二不休，两手便来夺，那婆娘那里肯放。宋江在床边舍命的夺，婆惜死也不放。宋江狠命只一拽，倒拽出那把压衣刀子在席上，宋江便抢在手里。那婆娘见宋江抢刀在手，叫：“黑三郎杀人也！”只这一声，提起宋江这个念头来，那一肚皮气正没出处。婆惜却叫第二声时，宋江左手早按住那婆娘，右手却早刀落，去那婆惜嗓子上只一勒，鲜血飞出，那妇人兀自吼哩。宋江怕他不死，再复一刀，那颗头伶伶仃仃落在枕头上。但见：

手到处青春丧命，刀落时红粉亡身。七魄悠悠，已赴森罗殿上；三魂渺渺，应归枉死城中。紧闭星眸，直挺挺尸横席上；半开檀口，湿津津头落枕边。小院初春，大雪压枯金线柳；寒生庾岭，狂风吹折玉梅花。三寸气在千般用，一日无常万事休。红粉不知归何处？芳魂今夜落谁家？

宋江一时怒气，杀了阎婆惜，取过招文袋，抽出那封书来，便就残灯下烧了，系上銮带，走出楼来。那婆子在下面睡，听他两口儿论口，倒也不着在意里。只听得女儿叫一声“黑三郎杀人也”，正不知怎地，慌忙跳起来，穿了衣裳，奔上楼来，却好和宋江打个胸厮撞。阎婆问道：“你两口儿做甚么闹？”宋江道：“你女儿忒无礼，被我杀了！”婆子笑道：“却是甚话！便是押司生的眼凶，又酒性不好，专要杀人？押司，休取笑老身。”宋江道：“你不信时，去房里看。我真个杀了！”婆子道：“我不信。”推开房门看时，只见血泊里挺着尸首。婆子道：“苦也！却是怎地好？”宋江道：“我是烈汉，一世也不走，随你要怎地。”婆子道：“这贱人果是不好，押司不错杀了。只是老身无人养赡。”宋江道：“这个不妨。既是你如此说时，你却不用忧心。我家岂无珍羞百味，只教你丰衣足食便了，快活过半世。”阎婆道：“恁地时却是好也，深谢押司。我女儿死在床上，怎地断送？”宋江道：“这个容易。我去陈三郎家买一具棺材与你，仵作行人入殓时，我自分付他来。我再取十两银子与你结果。”婆子谢道：“押司，只好趁天未明时讨具棺材盛了，邻舍街坊，都不要见影。”宋江道：“也好。你取纸笔来，我写个批子与你去取。”阎婆道：“批子也不济事，须是押司自去取，便肯早早发来。”宋江道：“也说得是。”两个下楼来。婆子去房里拿了锁钥，出到门前，把门锁了，带了钥匙。宋江与阎婆两个，投县前来。

此时天色尚早，未明，县门却才开。那婆子约莫到县前左侧，把宋江一把结住[21]，发喊叫道：“有杀人贼在这里！”吓得宋江慌做一团，连忙掩住口道：“不要叫！”那里掩得住。县前有几个做公的，走将拢来看时，认得是宋江，便劝道：“婆子闭嘴。押司不是这般的人，有事只消得好说。”阎婆道：“他正是凶首。与我捉住，同到县里。”原来宋江为人最好，上下爱敬，满县人没一个不让他。因此做公的都不肯下手拿他，又不信这婆子说。正在那里没个解救，却好唐牛儿托一盘子洗净的糟姜，来县前赶趁，正见这婆子结扭住宋江在那里叫冤屈。唐牛儿见是阎婆一把扭结住宋江，想起昨夜的一肚子鸟气来，便把盘子放在卖药的老王凳子上，钻将过来，喝道：“老贼虫！你做甚么结扭住押司？”婆子道：“唐二，你不要来打夺人去，要你偿命也！”唐牛儿大怒，那里听他说，把婆子手一拆拆开了，不问事由，叉开五指，去阎婆脸上只一掌，打个满天星。那婆子昏撒了，只得放手。宋江得脱，往闹里一直走了。婆子便一把却结扭住唐牛儿，叫道：“宋押司杀了我的女儿，你却打夺去了！”唐牛儿慌道：“我那里得知！”阎婆叫道：“上下！替我捉一捉杀人贼则个。不时，须要带累你们。”众做公的只碍宋江面皮，不肯动手，拿唐牛儿时，须不担搁。众人向前，一个带住婆子，三四个拿住唐牛儿，把他横拖倒拽，直推进郓城县里来。

古人云：祸福无门，惟人自招；披麻救火，惹焰烧身。正是：三寸舌为诛命剑，一张口是葬身坑。毕竟唐牛儿被阎婆结住，怎地脱身，且听下回分解。

[1] 虔婆——这里指鸨母，或妓女的母亲。

[2] 耍令——曲子、小调儿。

[3] 结果——这里指办理丧事用的现钱。

[4] 行（hán）院——指妓院，也用做对妓女的称呼。

[5] 上行首——又称上厅行首，上等妓女。行首，就是班头、花魁的意思。

[6] 撮合山——为双方牵线说合的人。这里指媒人。

[7] 撺掇（cuān　duo）——怂恿、促成、劝诱。后文第二十六回“难得何九叔撺掇”的撺掇，是帮忙的意思。

[8] 屈戌——门上的搭扣、铰链。

[9] 干热的——看着眼热，略近单相思之类。

[10] 不怯气——不服气。

[11] 咬虫——养汉的女人。老咬虫，就指虔婆一类的女人。

[12] 瞧科——科，“科分”的省词；指戏剧里面的动作和表情，也指做作出来含有戏剧性的动作和表情。瞧科，是看到而又理解了这种做作出来的动作和表情。

[13] 捻泛——做样子、作状。

[14] 瞒魍魉（wǎnɡ　liǎnɡ）——魍魉是鬼怪；瞒魍魉，犹如说骗鬼。

[15] 打抹——料理、怂恿。

[16] 搪——这里作哄、骗解释。

[17] 汤药——药茶，带汤煮的营养食品。

[18] 觑（qù）——这里是照顾的意思。

[19] 含脸——板着面孔。

[20] 挽歌郎——出丧时替丧家在棺前唱挽歌的。

[21] 结住——扭着、扯着的意思。

CHAPTER 20. The Brothel-Keeper While Drunk Strikes Tang Niu-Er; Song Jiang While Angry Kills the Girl Yan Poxi

WHEN Song Jiang had left Liu Tang he took advantage of the bright moonlight to stroll towards his home, but he happened to meet Madame Yan who quickly came forward and said to him, “Although I sent requests for you to come and visit us yet you did not come probably because you are such an important person. My worthless daughter may have said some bad things and offended you, but I will punish her and tell her to apologize to you. By chance I meet you this evening so I should be glad if you would come with me.”

“I am very busy at the yamen today,” said Song Jiang, “and I cannot arrange to get away, but I will come some other day.”

“That will not do,” said Madame Yan. “My daughter is expecting you at home, and I think you had better go and console her. Why do you act so harshly?”

“I really am very busy today,” said Song Jiang, “but I certainly will go tomorrow.”

Madame Yan said, “But I want you to go today.” She took hold of Song Jiang’s coat, and pulled him, “Who has been estranging your mind against us? I and my daughter will have to depend on you for the remainder of our lives. You must not listen to what other people say about us as that is only idle talk. You yourself must take charge of our affairs. Whatever wrong my daughter has done I am responsible for. I think you had better come with me this time.”

“You need not tug at me like that,” said Song Jiang, “I am really too busy to go now.”

“If you neglect your business a little,” said Madame Yan, “the magistrate will not punish you. I let pass this opportunity, I am afraid that we shall have a difficulty in meeting again. I hope you will come with me to my home where I shall have something to tell you.”

Song Jiang being a quick-tempered man was annoyed at the woman still holding his coat so he said, “Release me at once! I will go with you.”

“Then do not run away,” said the woman, “because I cannot catch you.”

“Why do you speak to me in such a way!” said Song Jiang.

They both started off, and when they reached the house Song Jiang stopped in front of the door. The woman spread out her arms behind him and said, “As you have come so far why do you not enter?” Song Jiang then entered, and sat down on a stool inside. Now the woman was very crafty, and being afraid that Song Jiang might try to get away, she sat down by his side and called out to her daughter, “Daughter, your lover has arrived!” Yan Poxi was upstairs lying on the bed, and was just idly thinking and gazing at the lamp. When she however heard her mother say that her lover had arrived she at once thought it was Zhang, and got up at once. She put her hair in order while she muttered to herself. “That fellow again. I am tired of waiting for him. I shall have to box his ears!” She hurried downstairs, and looked through the door screen. There was a glass lamp which gave a good light in the room, and by its aid she saw Song Jiang sitting there. Upon seeing this she immediately turned round, and going back upstairs again lay down on the bed. Madame Yan had heard her daughter come downstairs and then go back so she called out:

“Your lover is here. Why did you go back upstairs?”

“Is this room too far away?” asked the girl Yan Poxi, still lying on the bed. “Cannot he come here! As he is not blind why does he not come himself. Or is he waiting for me to fetch him? You are too talkative!”

Madame Yan said, “My daughter has not seen you arrive. She is very bitter about your being absent for so long. You must expect to be abused in this way.” Laughingly she said, “How would it be if I go upstairs with you?”

When Song Jiang heard the girl Yan Poxi talk in this way he was somewhat annoyed, but as the woman was now pulling at his coat again he gave way and went upstairs. There was a large room upstairs with six rafters, and one half near the entrance was occupied by a table and several stools. The other half was a bedchamber with a bedstead carved on three sides, and railings at the head and foot. The bed had red gauze curtains, and at the side was a clothes horse with towels hanging on it. On a yellow lacquered table was a pewter lamp, a bowl for washing the hands, and a brush. On both sides of the table were two stools. In front of the table there was hanging a picture of a woman. Facing the bed were four plain chairs standing in a row.

Upon entering the room Song Jiang sat down on a small stool close to the bed. Madame Yan went to the bed and assisted her daughter to rise, and said, “The Chief Clerk is here! Your bad disposition and talk has hurt his feelings. He did not want to come here. You stay at home and only think about him. Now after great difficulty I have induced him to come. Why do you not get up, and say something to him? Your manner will turn him against you.”

The girl Yan Poxi shook off her mother’s hand, and said, “Why are you doing this? I did not do anything bad, and as he himself did not want to come here, what have I got to apologize for?”

Song Jiang heard this but held his peace. The woman placed a chair close to Song Jiang and pulled Yan Poxi towards it saying, “Now you sit down near him. You may not apologize, but you must not be so irritated.”

But the girl did not want to sit close to Song Jiang, and sat down opposite him. Song Jiang bent his head down, and the girl turned her head to one side so as not to look at him.

Madame Yan said, “If we have no wine how can we have pleasure? I have some wine, and I will buy some fruit and then we can have a talk with this Chief Clerk. My daughter, while I am away I want you to sit near this Chief Clerk, and do not feel ashamed.”

“As this woman stays here I am not able to get away,” thought Song Jiang. “But as soon as she leaves here I will go after her.”

Madame Yan saw that Song Jiang still wanted to leave so when she left the room she fastened the door with a kind of latch so that it could not be opened from inside. Song Jiang perceived the move, and thought that Madame Yan had correctly judged his intention. On getting down below Madame Yan went to the kitchen, and saw a pan of water on the stove so she added fuel to the fire to make it boil. She then went to the alleyway and bought some fruit, fresh fish, cooked chicken, a condiment of fish. Upon returning home she arranged this food on a tray, filled a jar with wine, and half filled a pewter kettle with it, and then placed the latter in the pan of boiling water to warm the wine. When it was warm she poured the wine into a winepot, and filled several bowls with vegetables; brought out several wine cups; three pairs of chopsticks; and placing these all on a tray took them upstairs. She placed them on the table in the outer room, and then opening the door of the inner room, she took them in and placed them on the yellow varnished table.

She saw that Song Jiang was still holding his head down and her daughter turning her head away, so she said, “Daughter, get up and offer a cup of wine.”

“You two can drink together,” said Yan Poxi, “as I am not in a good frame of mind.”

“Daughter,” said Madame Yan, “since you were a child your parents have been indulgent to you. But you cannot be wayward to any other person.”

“But if I won’t offer him wine—what then?” asked Yan Poxi. “Do you think he can throw a sword and cut off my head?”

Madame Yan laughed at this, and said, “Now it is my fault. But he is well-mannered, and not the same as you. If you will not offer him wine, then you can at last turn your head this way and drink the wine.”

But as Yan Poxi was still unwilling to turn her head, Madame Yan herself offered Song Jiang a cup of wine, and he felt constrained to drink it. Madame Yan laughed and said, “I hope that you will not be offended. You must not pay attention to other people’s idle talk, and tomorrow I will tell you matters fully. People outside saw you come here very often and being jealous spread all kinds of nonsensical stories, but they’re just farting. Take no notice of what they say. Now drink up your wine.” She filled three cups of wine, and placed them on the table. She then spoke to her daughter again, “Do not behave in this childish manner, but drink a cup of wine at least.”

“You need not bother me any more,” said Yan Poxi, “I have had enough to eat.”

“Daughter,” said Madame Yan, “you ought at least to drink wine with your lover.”

Yan Poxi heard this but thought that as she preferred Zhang Wenyuan she would not submit to any annoyance from this fellow. However, if she did not make him drunk he would certainly want more from her. She then exerted herself and drank half a cup of wine.

Madame Yan laughed again and said, “Daughter, do not worry again, but cheer up and after drinking two cups of wine you can then go to sleep. Chief Clerk, you also had better drink a few cups of wine.”

Because she had exhorted him so much Song Jiang drank about five cups of wine. Madame Yan also drank several cups of wine, and then went downstairs to warm some more wine. She had not been at all pleased when she saw that her daughter would not drink the wine, but now that her daughter had done so she was glad and said to herself, “If we can only keep him here for this night his anger will subside, and when that has disappeared we can continue to live with him for some time more.” While she was attending to the fire she drank three big cups of wine. She began to feel half tipsy, but still she measured out another bowl of wine. She then filled a kettle half full of warm wine and crawled upstairs with it. She saw that Song Jiang still hung down his head, and that her daughter still turning away her head was toying with her skirt. She laughed loudly and said, “You two are not clay images so why do you not say something? Chief Clerk, you are a man you ought to be kind. It would be better if you flirted a little with her.”

Song Jiang did not know what to do so he remained silent. He indeed had no plan for getting away from that place. Yan Poxi thought that he never normally came to visit her, but now expected her to apologize to him, and laugh and flirt as before. But she was not going to flirt with him just then.

Madame Yan drank much wine, and she was getting fuddled. She criticized loosely about other people and gossiped as she wished.

Now in the town there was a man named Tang Niu-er whose business was to sell pickles. When he had nothing to do he roamed about the streets looking for odd jobs, and Song Jiang had helped him many times. If he heard of any thing he went and told it to Song Jiang who gave him money for the information. He was not afraid of taking risks. Now on this day he had been gambling and had lost all his money so he went to the yamen to find Song Jiang. But he could not find him there, and the people on the street asked him whom he was looking for, and why he was in such a hurry.

“I am in a great hurry,” said Tang Niu-er, “I am trying to find my patron; but I cannot find him.”

“Who is your patron?” asked the people.

“He is the Chief Clerk at the yamen—Song Jiang.”

The people told him that they had just seen him walking along with Madame Yan.

“That girl Yan Poxi,” said Tang Niu-er, “is a deceiving slut. She and that fellow Zhang Wenyuan have the real hots for each other and are now hoodwinking Song Jiang. The latter has heard some rumors and therefore he has not been there for a long time. Now he must have been dragged away by that brothel-keeper Madame Yan who will try and get into his good graces again. So I will now go there, and drink some wine with those two and perhaps also earn a little money.” When he reached the entrance of the Yan family’s house he saw the lights inside, and noticed that the door was not locked. He entered and standing at the foot of the ladder he heard Madame Yan upstairs laughing loudly. Proceeding stealthily he ascended the ladder, and peeping through a chink in the door saw Song Jiang and Yan Poxi hanging down their heads, Madame Yan was sitting at the side of the table, and was simply driveling. He opened the door, saluted the three, and then awaited.

Song Jiang thought that the fellow had arrived at a very opportune moment so he looked towards him and pursed his lips as a hint for him to speak. Now Tang Niu-er was a smart man, and understood the hint, and immediately said to Song Jiang, “I have been looking for you everywhere. How is it that you are wasting your time and drinking wine here?”

“Are you looking for me because of some urgent business at the yamen?” asked Song Jiang.

“Sir,” said Tang Niu-er, “why do you forget things? Early this morning there was an affair at the yamen. The magistrate was upset, and sent men about five times to find you, but they all returned without having found you, and this worried the magistrate very much, sir, you had better go back at once.”

As the matter is evidently urgent I must go at once,” said Song Jiang. He got up to depart, but Madame Yan stood in front of him, and said, “Sir, you must not go. This man is only inventing a false tale.” Turning to Tang Niu-er, she said, “You tricky thief. Do you expect to fool me? It reminds me of the old proverb, ‘Do not try to get the axe from Lu Ban, the god of the carpenters.’ The magistrate will by now have left the court, and returned to his wife to drink wine and enjoy himself. What is the business he is upset about? With such talk you might try to deceive an imp, but you cannot get round me with it.”

“It is quite true that the magistrate is still waiting to transact that affair, and I am not telling lies,” said Tang Niu-er.

Madame Yan abused him, saying, “Your mother is farting like a dog. I have two eyes, and can see things quite clearly. I saw the clerk motion with his lips to you, and give you the lead to say this. You did not induce him to come here so why do you now want to take him away. A proverb says, ‘Murder may be pardoned, but unreasonableness is hard to forgive.’” She then jumped forward, caught him by the neck, and in the struggle which followed Tang Niu-er fell down the ladder. Standing below he asked why she had assaulted him. The woman shouted, “Don’t you understand that ruining one’s trade and livelihood is as much as killing one’s parents and wife? Now don’t make a loud noise about this or I will give you a beating, you thief and beggar!” She had now descended the ladder and Tang Niu-er challenged her, “Hit me!” and without more ado she slapped his face with her hand, and knocked him through the hanging screen at the door. She then put the screen in position, closed both leaves of the door, and bolted them. Tang Niu-er recovering from the blow stood outside the door, and shouted, “You crooked brothel-keeper! You need not hurry! If not for my respect for Song Jiang I would have entered now and smashed all your things up. If I don’t meet you one day I shall meet you some other day. If I don’t eventually kill you, my name is not Tang.” He then departed, beating his breast and cursing as he went.

Madame Yan re-ascended the ladder, and addressed Song Jiang, “Sir, don’t take any notice of that beggar. He is a scandal-monger, and only does it for a drink. He sleeps in holes and corners, and will die an untimely death. Such a thief now attempts to fool us at our door!”

Song Jiang was a very honest man, and seeing that she had seen through their ruse he had no means of escape.

The woman continued, “Sir, you must not blame me for this. I know that you have treated me very well before. Now, please drink a cup of wine with my daughter. I guess that as you two have not seen each other for a long time, you want to go to bed early.” After pressing Song Jiang to drink two more cups of wine, she picked up the tray, and went downstairs to the kitchen.

Song Jiang being left in quietness upstairs meditated that there might have been something between Madame Yan and her daughter and Zhang Wenyuan but he could not make out whether the rumor was true. Again as it was too late in the night, so he decided to sleep there whereby perhaps he would find out what Yan Poxi’s ideas were. He would also be able to find out what were the state of the girl’s feelings towards him.

Just then Madame Yan came upstairs again, and remarked that it was getting late, and that she had already told them to go to bed.

“Mind your own business,” said the daughter. “You go to bed yourself.”

As Madame Yan again departed downstairs she laughed and said, “I hope you will have a peaceful sleep, sir, have much pleasure this night, and get up late tomorrow morning.” Upon arriving downstairs she put the things in the kitchen in order, washed her hands and feet, and then went to sleep.

Song Jiang sat on the stool for a long time looking at the girl and then heaved a sigh. It was now about 10 P.M., and the girl without undressing lay down on the bed, with her face turned away from him and went to sleep. He thought that she was a mean detestable person as she had not shown any respect for him, but had just gone to sleep. He had been wheedled with so much talk from that old woman, and drunk so much wine, and as it was now so late that he had to go to sleep there. He then took off his headgear, and placed it on the table; took off his outer garments, and put them on a clotheshorse; unloosened his belt, and placed his dagger and secretarial hand bag on the rail at the head of the bed; took off his boots and socks; he then got on the bed and lay down the reverse way to the girl. After a little time he heard the girl laughing in a sneering manner. He felt quite melancholy and could not sleep any way. There is an ancient saying, “When the pleasure is great the night seems short; when one feels lonely the time seems unending.” By about 3 A.M. the effects of the wine had vanished, and about five o’clock Song Jiang got up, washed his face in cold water and dressed. He then said, “You common slut! You have no decency.”

The girl also did not sleep, and hearing this she turned over, and said to him, “I see that you do not blush.” Now Song Jiang was very much upset, and without saying anything he went downstairs.

Madame Yan was still in bed but hearing the sound of footsteps on the ladder she called out, “Sir, you had better take a little rest, and leave when it is quite daylight. But why do you get up at five o’clock?”

Song Jiang did not reply to this, but went to the door to open it. Madame Yan called out again, “Well, if you will go will you please close the door as you go out?” Song Jiang did this. He was still very much annoyed, and he thought of going back. Upon reaching the yamen gate he saw there a lamp burning brightly on a small stall owned by a medicine vendor named Wang who had opened business to catch the early customers. When the stall keeper saw Song Jiang he quickly asked him, “Sir, why are you out so early?”

“I drank too much wine last night,” said Song Jiang, “and mistook the watchman’s reports of the time of night.”

“As you got drunk last night,” said Wang, “you had better have a bowl of this dried orange peel soup which will sober you up.”

Song Jiang agreed to this, and sat down on a stool. Wang mixed a very strong dose of his medicinal soup, and handed it to Song Jiang. The latter meditated that this man never asked for money when he drank his soup, because sometime before he had promised to provide a coffin for him, but so far had not given it to him. Song Jiang then remembered that he still had in his purse the piece of gold he had accepted the previous day from Chao Gai’s agent, and he thought it would please Wang very much if he now gave him the money to buy a coffin. He, therefore, said to Wang, “Sometime ago I promised to give you money to buy a coffin, but as I have now got some gold here I will give it to you, and you can go and buy a coffin from Old Chen and keep it in your home. When you die at the age of a hundred, I will also provide some more money.”

“My benefactor,” said Wang, “I am deeply grateful for your providing me with a coffin. I cannot possibly expect to be able to repay your generosity during this life, but in the next life if I am a donkey or a horse I will certainly do my best to make up for your kindness.”

“You need not say that,” said Song Jiang. He then lifted his gown to get at the purse in a pocket of his waistcoat, but he was startled and thought: “How sad! I have forgotten that I left my purse on the rail at the head of the bed, and in leaving in a hurry did not put it back in my belt. The money does not matter much, but it is wrapped up in that letter from Chao Gai. I ought to have burnt the letter in the wine shop while Liu Tang was there, but I did not want him to tell Chao Gai of such a thing as the latter might think I did not value his letter. I would have burnt it in my lodging had not that woman Yan induced me to go with her. I could have burnt it in Yan’s house but I was afraid of that girl seeing me do so. If I had not left so hurriedly this morning I would not have forgotten it. I saw that Yan Poxi was looking at a book of songs, so that she evidently can read and if she finds that letter there will be trouble. He then stood up, and said to Wang, “Please excuse me. I am not telling a lie because I thought I had the money in my purse, but now I find that it is not there so I will go back home and get it.”

“You need not go for that,” said Wang. “It will do if you give it me tomorrow.”

“But I have another matter I must attend to at the same place so I had better go,” said Song Jiang. He then departed with all speed to Madame Yan’s house.

When Yan Poxi heard Song Jiang leave her room she got up, and soliloquized. “That fellow annoyed me so much that I could not sleep. He was so impudent as to expect me to apologize to him. But I won’t apologize! I am on very good terms with Zhang Wenyuan, so why should I go out of my way to apologize to Song Jiang. If he does not come here again I shall not mind.” While saying this she put the bed in order, took off her outer wadded coat, her waist belt, and her undergarments. There was a lamp burning near the head of the bed, and by its light she saw the purse hanging on the bed rail. Upon seeing this she laughed and said, “Black the Third” (her nickname for Song Jiang) has so many things that he has forgotten his purse. I will take it and give it to Zhang Wenyuan to wear.” When she picked it up she felt that it was heavy so she took it and emptied its contents on the table, and saw the bar of gold and the letter. When she saw that it was really gold she laughed again and said, “Heaven intends this gold for me to buy some food for Zhang Wenyuan to eat. He has been rather lean these last few days, so I will buy some food for him as a nourishment.” She then picked up the letter, and saw that it concerned the business of Chao Gai. She soliloquized, “I thought the water bucket should be lowered down the well, but now the well is inside the bucket. So Song Jiang is in my hands. I can now arrange to marry Zhang Wenyuan as I have that fellow in my hand. You have got a hundred taels of silver from the brigands at Liangshan Marsh as you act as their agent. There is no need for any sudden action, as I can deal with you whenever I like. So I will take this letter and the bar of gold and put them again in the purse, and have no fear of you telling the fairy fox to come here and steal them away.”

Just as she was saying this she heard someone pushing at the street door down below, and she also heard her mother call out from her bed “who is that?”

The person outside called out, “It is I!”

Madame Yan replied, “I told you it was too early, and instead of believing my word you would go. And now you realize that it is still early, you have come back. But you can come in, and have another sleep with my daughter, and then depart when it is broad daylight.”

The man did not reply, but went upstairs. Yan Poxi hearing this knew that it was Song Jiang, and hurriedly hid the purse belt and dagger in the bed quilt. She then lay down on the bed with her face turned to the wall, and pretended to snore as though she was sound asleep.

Song Jiang burst into the room, and went to the head of the bed, but when he did not see his belt and purse on the rail where he had left them, he was surprised. But suppressing his temper he shook the girl and said, “Just think of my previous kindness to you, and return at once my purse and belt.”

But the girl still pretended to be asleep, and did not reply.

So Song Jiang shook her again and said, “Do not be annoyed at my disturbing you like this. I will come again tomorrow, and explain matters.”

Yan Poxi now replied, “I want to sleep. Who is calling me?”

“You know who it is,” said Song Jiang, “so why do you pretend like this?”

The girl turned over and said, “Black the Third! What did you say?”

“Give me back my purse,” said Song Jiang.

“Why do you ask me for it, seeing that you did not hand it over to me?”

“I left it on the rail at the head of your bed. As evidently no man has been here since I left you must have taken it,” said Song Jiang.

“Bah! Did you not see a demon come here?”

“It was my fault last night,” said Song Jiang, “and I will apologize tomorrow. But now you give me the purse, and fool me no more.”

“Who is trying to fool you? I certainly have not had it.”

“When I left you had not taken off your clothes to sleep,” said Song Jiang. “But now you have pulled the quilt over you. You must have taken my purse when you got up to put the bed in order.”

The girl raised her eyebrows in surprise, and opening wide her eyes said, “Well, I did take it, but I won’t give it back. You can send some one from the yamen and have me arrested as a thief, and give your decision also.”

“I will not accuse you of being a thief,” said Song Jiang.

“Then you know that it is not me that is the thief?” said Yan Poxi.

When he heard this he became more upset and said, “I always treated both of you well, so give it to me at once. I must go to attend my business.”

“You previously did not like me to have anything to do with Zhang Wenyuan,” said Yan Poxi. “He may be disagreeable with you but he is not deserving of death. He is anyhow better than you as he has no transactions with bandits.”

“Dear sister,” said Song Jiang, “do not talk in such a loud voice as it will be of grave consequence if the neighbors hear what you say.”

“As you are afraid of people outside hearing of your affair,” said Yan Poxi, “you ought not to have done it. I am certainly going to keep your letter. But I will let you off if you will do three things for me.”

“Even if you ask me to do thirty things for you I will do them,” answered Song Jiang.

“But I am afraid that you won’t do them,” said Yan Poxi.

“If I can do them I will do them,” said Song Jiang. “May I ask what those three things are?”

“First,” said Yan Poxi, “you must return to me the document I gave you when you purchased me as your concubine, and also write a letter permitting me to marry Zhang Wenyuan, and promising that you will not make trouble between us.”

“That I agree to,” said Song Jiang.

“The second,” said Yan Poxi, “is that all the jewelry and clothes and other things that you have presented to me shall belong to me, and you will also put that down in writing.”

“That also I will do,” said Song Jiang.

“But I am afraid that you will not agree to the third condition,” said Yan Poxi.

“I have already agreed to two, so why not the third also?” asked Song Jiang.

“You must also give me the hundred taels of gold that you received from Chao Gai at Liangshan Marsh, and I will then return to you the letter which is an extremely important piece of evidence should there be a very big court case.”

“I will do the first two things you require,” said Song Jiang, “but I am afraid that I cannot do the third, because although they sent one hundred taels of gold yet I refused to accept it. Had I received it I would certainly present it to you with both hands.”

Yan Poxi said, “You perhaps remember the common saying, ‘If an official sees money he grabs it as a fly sees blood.’ Do you expect me to believe that you sent the money back? You’re just farting. Officials are like cats, and who ever heard of a cat refusing to eat meat? When a man reaches the afterlife will King Yama let him off? You’ve got to be kidding! You must give me the money at once. If you are afraid that people will discern it as booty from the bandits you had better get it melted down at once.”

“You ought to know that I am an honest man and not given to telling lies,” said Song Jiang. “If you however do not believe what I say then give me three days so that I shall have time to sell my household goods, and then I will give you a hundred taels of gold. Now give me my purse.”

Yan Poxi sneered at him and said, “How artful you are! You treat me as if I was a child. If I gave you the purse and the letter now it would be like a dirge singer at a funeral asking for payment after the burial. It would be better if you came again with money in your hand, and I will then exchange the letter for the money.”

“But I have not got the money,” said Song Jiang.

“Then we shall have to go to the court where you can say that you have not got it,” said Yan Poxi.

When Song Jiang heard the word “court” he could not restrain his anger any more. He glared at her and said, “Are you not going to hand me that letter?”

The girl replied. “As you are so terrible I won’t give it to you.”

“So you really mean not to give it to me?” said Song Jiang.

“I won’t,” said Yan Poxi, “and I can assure you a hundred times more that I would not give it to you. I will only give it to you in the yamen court.”

Song Jiang pulled the quilt off her. Yan Poxi took the purse, and held it to her breast with both hands. Song Jiang saw the purse in her hands when he pulled the quilt off, and said, “So you have it!” so saying he reached forward with both hands. But Yan Poxi would not let go. Song Jiang was now determined to get it at all costs, whereas the girl was equally determined to die rather than give it up. Song Jiang caught hold of the dagger and with a wrench got it away. When the girl saw that he had got the dagger she called out, “Black the Third! Murder!” This suggested to Song Jiang the idea for the first time and when she called out “murder” a second time he seized her and cut her throat with the dagger. As Song Jiang was afraid that she might not be dead, he took his dagger, and cut off her head, which rolled to one side on the pillow. He then took the letter from the purse, and holding it above the lamp burnt it to ashes. He put on his belt, and went downstairs.

Madame Yan down below was not asleep, but although she heard the two talking upstairs in rather loud voices she paid no attention to it. But when she heard her daughter call out “Murder,” she hastily got up, put on her clothes and was going up the ladder when she met Song Jiang coming down. “What are you two quarreling about?” she asked. “As your daughter had no manners I killed her,” he said. “Why do you talk like that?” she asked. “Only your eyes look wild and you are always so bad-tempered when drunk as to be fond of killing someone. Please do not joke with me.”

“If you do not believe,” he said, “then go upstairs and look in the room. I certainly have killed her.”

“I do not believe that,” said Madame Yan. But when she pushed the door open she saw the head lying in a pool of blood. She then said, “How awful! What shall I do?”

“I am a hero, and will not try to escape,” said Song Jiang, “and I will do whatever you require.”

“She was not a good girl,” said Madame Yan, “and you were quite right in killing her. But who will support this old woman now?”

“That does not matter,” he said. “As you look at it in that way there is no need for grief. I am wealthy, and I will see that you are well provided for for the rest of your life.”

“It is very good of you to talk like that,” she said, “and I wish to thank you very much. But as my daughter’s corpse is here how shall we get rid of it?’

“That will be easy,” he said. “I will go to Old Chen and get a coffin for you. I will also send the coroner here to arrange matters without any inquiry being held. I have here ten taels of gold which you can have to cover any small immediate expenses.”

She thanked him again and said, “You had better get the coffin sent at once before daybreak so that the neighbors may not know what has happened.”

“All right,” said Song Jiang. “Let me have pen and ink, and I will write a note for you to take to Chen and get the coffin.”

“Instead of writing a letter it would be much better if you go yourself and get the coffin sent here without delay.”

“Let it be so, then,” he said. They both went downstairs, and Madame Yan locked the street door. They then both went to get the coffin.

It was very early and not yet twilight, but as they were passing the yamen a man was just opening the door. There Madame Yan took hold of Song Jiang, and called out, “Here is the murderer!” Song Jiang was startled upon hearing this, but putting his hand over her mouth, said, “Do not call out!”

Many men in the yamen had heard the cry however, and came out to see what was the matter. Upon recognizing it was Song Jiang, they told the woman to desist as Song Jiang was not that kind of man, and that if she had anything to say she need not shout.

Madame Yan however called out, “He certainly is a murderer, and I want you to arrest him, and take him into the yamen.”

But Song Jiang had always had an excellent reputation, and was generally liked, so that now there was not a single man there who would come forward to lay hands on him, and they did not believe what she said. Just then Tang Niu-er happened to pass that spot carrying a tray of preserved ginger for sale, and he saw Madame Yan holding Song Jiang, and calling out in an offended tone. Now remembering how she had assaulted him during the night he placed his tray on Wang’s stall, and making his way through the crowd he shouted: “You brothel-keeper! Why are you holding this clerk?”

“Tang,” she said, “do not attempt to get this man away from me, or you will have to answer for it with your life.”

But Tang Niu-er took hold of her hand, and wrenched her loose of Song Jiang, and then gave her a sounding smack on the face which made her see stars. Before she recovered from her faintness, Song Jiang had escaped through the crowd.

Madame Yan, however, having taken hold of Tang Niu-er, called out, “Song Jiang has killed my daughter, and this man has helped him to escape.”

“How could I know that?” asked Tang Niu-er hurriedly.

Madame Yan appealed to the crowd. “Will some of you assist me in arresting the murderer? If you do not do so you will be charged for allowing him to escape.”

As none of the yamen aides were afraid of Tang Niu-er so they arrested him and also Madame Yan and took them into the yamen.

Fortune has no fixed tendency

It conies as one invites it;

To put out fire in a hempen coat,

One brings the flame on his body.

We will now relate how Tang Niu-er escaped.