第五十四回

第五十四回 史太君破陈腐旧套 王熙凤效戏彩斑衣

却说贾珍贾琏暗暗预备下大簸箩的钱，听见贾母说“赏”，他们也忙命小厮们快撒钱。只听满台钱响，贾母大悦。

二人遂起身，小厮们忙将一把新暖银壶捧在贾琏手内，随了贾珍趋至里面。贾珍先至李婶席上，躬身取下杯来，回身，贾琏忙斟了一盏；然后便至薛姨妈席上，也斟了。二人忙起身笑说：“二位爷请坐着罢了，何必多礼。”于是除邢、王二夫人，满席都离了席，俱垂手旁侍。

贾珍等至贾母榻前，因榻矮，二人便屈膝跪了。贾珍在先捧杯，贾琏在后捧壶。虽祗二人奉酒，那贾环弟兄等，却也是排班按序，一溜随着他二人进来，见他二人跪下，也都一溜跪下。宝玉也忙跪下了。史湘云悄推他笑道：“你这会又帮着跪下作什么？有这样，你也去斟一巡酒岂不好？”宝玉悄笑道：“再等一会子再斟去。”说着，等他二人斟完起来，方起来。又与邢夫人王夫人斟过来。贾珍笑道：“妹妹们怎么样呢？”贾母等都说：“你们去罢，他们倒便宜些。”说了，贾珍等方退出。

当下天未二鼓，戏演的是《八义》中《观灯》[1]八出。正在热闹之际，宝玉因下席往外走。贾母因说：“你往那里去！外头爆竹利害，仔细天上掉下火纸来烧了。”宝玉回说：“不往远去，只出去就来。”贾母命婆子们好生跟着。于是宝玉出来，只有麝月秋纹并几个小丫头随着。

贾母因说：“袭人怎么不见？他如今也有些拿大了，单支使小女孩子出来。”王夫人忙起身笑回道：“他妈前日没了，因有热孝[2]，不便前头来。”贾母听了点头，又笑道：“跟主子却讲不起这孝与不孝。若是他还跟我，难道这会子也不在这里不成？皆因我们太宽了，有人使，不查这些，竟成了例了。”凤姐儿忙过来笑回道：“今儿晚上他便没孝，那园子里也须得他看着，灯烛花炮最是耽险的。这里一唱戏，园子里的人谁不偷来瞧瞧。他还细心，各处照看照看。况且这一散后宝兄弟回去睡觉，各色都是齐全的。若他再来了，众人又不经心，散了回去，铺盖也是冷的，茶水也不齐备，各色都不便宜，所以我叫他不用来，只看屋子。散了又齐备，我们这里也不耽心，又可以全他的礼，岂不三处有益。老祖宗要叫他，我叫他来就是了。”

贾母听了这话，忙说：“你这话很是，比我想的周到，快别叫他了。但只他妈几时没了，我怎么不知道。”凤姐笑道：“前儿袭人去亲自回老太太的，怎么倒忘了。”贾母想了一想笑说：“想起来了。我的记性竟平常了。”众人都笑说：“老太太那里记得这些事。”贾母因又叹道：“我想着，他从小儿服侍了我一场，又服侍了云儿一场，末后给了一个魔王宝玉，亏他魔了这几年。他又不是咱们家的根生土长的奴才，没受过咱们什么大恩典。他妈没了，我想着要给他几两银子发送，也就忘了。”凤姐儿道：“前儿太太赏了他四十两银子，也就是了。”

贾母听说，点头道：“这还罢了。正好鸳鸯的娘前儿也死了，我想他老子娘都在南边，我也没叫他家去守孝，如今叫他两个一处作伴儿去。”又命婆子将些果子菜馔点心之类与他两个吃去。琥珀笑说：“还等这会子呢，他早就去了。”说着，大家又吃酒看戏。

且说宝玉一径来至园中，众婆子见他回房，便不跟去，只坐在园门里茶房里烤火，和管茶的女人偷空饮酒斗牌。宝玉至院中，虽是灯光灿烂，却无人声。麝月道：“他们都睡了不成？咱们悄悄的进去唬他们一跳。”于是大家蹑足潜踪的进了镜壁一看，只见袭人和一人对面都歪在地炕上，那一头有两三个老嬷嬷打盹。

宝玉只当他两个睡着了，才要进去，忽听鸳鸯叹了一声，说道：“可知天下事难定。论理你单身在这里，父母在外头，每年他们东去西来，没个定准，想来你是不能送终的了，偏生今年就死在这里，你倒出去送了终。”袭人道：“正是。我也想不到能够看父母回首[3]。太太又赏了四十两银子，这倒也算养我一场，我也不敢妄想了。”宝玉听了，忙转身悄向麝月等道：“谁知他也来了。我这一进去，他又赌气走了。不如咱们回去罢，让他两个清清静静的说一回。袭人正一个闷着〔一〕，他幸而来的好。”说着，仍悄悄的出来。

宝玉便走过山石之后去站着撩衣，麝月秋纹皆站住背过脸去，口内笑说：“蹲下再解小衣，仔细风吹了肚子。”后面两个小丫头子知是小解，忙先出去茶房预备去了。这里宝玉刚转过来，只见两个媳妇子迎面来了，问是谁，秋纹道：“宝玉在这里，你大呼小叫，仔细唬着他。”那媳妇们忙笑道：“我们不知道，大节下来惹祸了〔二〕。姑娘们可连日辛苦了。”说着，已到了跟前。

麝月等问：“手里拿的是什么？”媳妇们道：“是老太太赏金、花二位姑娘吃的。”秋纹笑道：“外头唱的是《八义》，没唱《混元盒》[6]，那里又跑出‘金花娘娘’来了。”宝玉笑命：“揭起来我瞧瞧。”秋纹麝月忙上去将两个盒子揭开。两个媳妇忙蹲下身子，宝玉看了两盒内都是席上所有的上等果品菜馔，点了一点头，迈步就走。麝月二人忙胡乱掷了盒盖，跟上来。宝玉笑道：“这两个女人倒和气，会说话，他们天天乏了，倒说你们连日辛苦，倒不是那矜功自伐[7]的。”麝月道：“这好的也很好，那不知礼的也太不知礼。”宝玉笑道：“你们是明白人，耽待他们是粗笨可怜的人就完了。”一面说，一面来至园门。

那几个婆子虽吃酒斗牌，却不住出来打探，见宝玉来了，也都跟上了。来至〔三〕花厅后廊上，只见那两个小丫头一个捧着小沐盆，一个搭着手巾，又拿着沤子[9]壶在那里久等。秋纹先忙伸手向盆内试了一试，说道：“你越大越粗心了，那里弄的这冷水。”小丫头笑道：“姑娘瞧瞧这个天，我怕水冷，巴巴的倒的是滚水，这还冷了。”

正说着，可巧见一个老婆子提着一壶滚水走来。小丫头便说：“好奶奶，过来给我倒上些。”那婆子道：“哥哥儿，这是老太太〔四〕泡茶的，劝你走了舀去罢，那里就走大了脚。”秋纹道：“凭你是谁的，你不给？我管把老太太茶吊子倒了洗手。”那婆子回头见是秋纹，忙提起壶来就倒。秋纹道：“够了。你这么大年纪也没个见识，谁不知是老太太的水！要不着的人就敢要了。”婆子笑道：“我眼花了，没认出这姑娘来。”宝玉洗了手，那小丫头子拿小壶倒了些沤子在他手内，宝玉沤了。秋纹麝月也趁热水洗了一回，沤了，跟进宝玉来。

宝玉便要了一壶暖酒，也从李婶薛姨妈〔五〕斟起，二人也让坐。贾母便说：“他小，让他斟去，大家倒要干过这杯。”说着，便自己干了。邢、王二夫人也忙干了，让他二人。薛李也只得干了。贾母又命宝玉道：“连你姐姐妹妹一齐斟上，不许乱斟，都要叫他干了。”宝玉听说，答应着，一一按次斟了。

至黛玉前，偏他不饮，拿起杯来，放在宝玉唇上边，宝玉一气饮干。黛玉笑说：“多谢。”宝玉替他斟上一杯。凤姐儿便笑道：“宝玉，别喝冷酒，仔细手颤，明儿写不得字，拉不得弓。”宝玉忙道：“没有吃冷酒。”凤姐儿笑道：“我知道没有，不过白嘱咐你。”然后宝玉将里面斟完，只除贾蓉之妻是丫头们斟的。复出至廊上，又与贾珍等斟了。坐了一回，方进来仍归旧坐。

一时上汤后，又接献元宵来。贾母便命将戏暂歇歇：“小孩子们可怜见的，也给他们些滚汤滚菜的吃了再唱。”又命将各色果子元宵等物拿些与他们吃去。

一时歇了戏，便有婆子带了两个门下常走的女先生儿进来，放两张杌子在那一边命他坐了，将弦子琵琶递过去。贾母便问李薛听何书，他二人都回说：“不拘什么都好。”贾母便问：“近来可有添些什么新书？”那两个女先儿回说道：“倒有一段新书，是残唐五代的故事。”贾母问是何名，女先儿道：“叫做《凤求鸾》。”贾母道：“这一个名字倒好，不知因什么起的，先大概说说原故，若好再说。”女先儿道：“这书上乃说残唐之时，有一位乡绅，本是金陵人氏，名唤王忠，曾做过两朝宰辅。如今告老还家，膝下只有一位公子，名唤王熙凤。”

众人听了，笑将起来。贾母笑道：“这重了我们凤丫头了。”媳妇忙上去推他，“这是二奶奶的名字，少混说。”贾母笑道：“你说，你说。”女先生忙笑着站起来，说：“我们该死了，不知是奶奶的讳。”凤姐儿笑道：“怕什么，你们只管说罢，重名重姓的多呢。”

女先生又说道：“这年王老爷打发了王公子上京赶考，那日遇见大雨，进到一个庄上避雨。谁知这庄上也有个乡绅，姓李，与王老爷是世交，便留下这公子住在书房里。这李乡绅膝下无儿，只有一位千金小姐。这小姐芳名叫作雏鸾，琴棋书画，无所不通。”贾母忙道：“怪道叫作《凤求鸾》。不用说，我猜着了，自然是这王熙凤要求这雏鸾小姐为妻。”女先儿笑道：“老祖宗原来听过这一回书。”众人都道：“老太太什么没听过！便没听过，也猜着了。”

贾母笑道：“这些书都是一个套子，左不过是些佳人才子，最没趣儿。把人家女儿说的那样坏，还说是佳人，编的连影儿也没有了。开口都是书香门第，父亲不是尚书就是宰相，生一个小姐必是爱如珍宝。这小姐必是通文知礼，无所不晓，竟是个绝代佳人。只一见了一个清俊的男人，不管是亲是友，便想起终身大事来，父母也忘了，书礼也忘了，鬼不成鬼，贼不成贼，那一点儿是佳人？便是满腹文章，做出这些事来，也算不得是佳人了。比如男人满腹文章去作贼，难道那王法就说他是才子就不入贼情一案不成？可知那编书的是自己塞了自己的嘴。再者，既说是世宦书香大家小姐都知礼读书，连夫人都知书识礼，便是告老还家，自然这样大家人口不少，奶母丫鬟服侍小姐的人也不少，怎么这些书上，凡有这样的事，就只小姐和紧跟的一个丫鬟？你们白想想，那些人都是管什么的，可是前言不答后语？”

众人听了，都笑说：“老太太这一说，是谎都批出来了。”贾母笑道：“这有个原故：编这样书的，有一等妒人家富贵，或有求不遂心，所以编出来污秽人家。再一等，他自己看了这些书看魔了，他也想一个佳人，所以编了出来取乐。何尝他知道那世宦读书家的道理！别说他那书上那些世宦书礼大家，如今眼下真的，拿我们这中等人家说起，也没有这样的事，别说是那些大家子。可知是诌掉了下巴的话〔六〕。所以我们从不许说这些书，丫头们也不懂这些话。这几年我老了，他们姊妹们住的远，我偶然闷了，说几句听听，他们一来，就忙歇了。”李薛二人都笑说：“这正是大家的规矩，连我们家也没这些杂话给孩子们听见。”

凤姐儿走上来斟酒，笑道：“罢，罢，酒冷了，老祖宗喝一口润润嗓子再掰谎[13]。这一回就叫作《掰谎记》，就出在本朝本地本年本月本日本时，老祖宗一张口难说两家话，花开两朵，各表一枝，是真是谎且不表，再整那观灯看戏的人。老祖宗且让这二位亲戚吃一杯酒看两出戏之后，再从昨朝话言掰起如何？”他一面斟酒，一面笑说，未曾说完，众人俱已笑倒。两个女先生也笑个不住，都说：“奶奶好刚口[14]。奶奶要一说书，真连我们吃饭的地方也没了。”

薛姨妈笑道：“你少兴头些，外头有人，比不得往常。”凤姐儿笑道：“外头的只有一位珍大爷。我们还是论哥哥妹妹，从小儿一处淘气了这么大。这几年因做了亲，我如今立了多少规矩了。便不是从小儿的兄妹，便以伯叔论，那《二十四孝》上‘斑衣戏彩’[15]，他们不能来‘戏彩’引老祖宗笑一笑，我这里好容易引的老祖宗笑了一笑，多吃了一点儿东西，大家喜欢，都该谢我才是，难道反笑话我不成？”贾母笑道：“可是这两日我竟没有痛痛的笑一场，倒是亏他才一路笑的我心里痛快了些，我再吃一钟酒。”吃着酒，又命宝玉：“也敬你姐姐一杯。”凤姐儿笑道：“不用他敬，我讨老祖宗的寿罢。”说着，便将贾母的杯拿起来，将半杯剩酒吃了，将杯递与丫鬟，另将温水浸的杯换了一个上来。于是各席上的杯都撤去，另将温水浸着待换的杯斟了新酒上来，然后归坐。

女先生回说：“老祖宗不听这书，或者弹一套曲子听听罢。”贾母便说道：“你们两个对一套《将军令》[16]罢。”二人听说，忙和弦按调拨弄起来。贾母因问：“天有几更了。”众婆子忙回：“三更了。”贾母道：“怪道寒浸浸的起来。”早有众丫鬟拿了添换的衣裳送来。王夫人起身笑说道：“老太太不如挪进暖阁里地炕上倒也罢了。这二位亲戚也不是外人，我们陪着就是了。”贾母听说，笑道：“既这样说，不如大家都挪进去，岂不暖和？”王夫人道：“恐里间坐不下。”贾母笑道：“我有道理。如今也不用这些桌子，只用两三张并起来，大家坐在一处挤着，又亲香，又暖和。”众人都道：“这才有趣。”说着，便起了席。

众媳妇忙撤去残席，里面直顺并了三张大桌，另又添换了果馔摆好。贾母便说：“这都不要拘礼，只听我分派你们就坐才好。”说着便让薛李正面上坐，自己西向坐了，叫宝琴、黛玉、湘云三人皆紧依左右坐下，向宝玉说：“你挨着你太太。”于是邢夫人王夫人之中夹着宝玉，宝钗等姊妹在西边，挨次下去便是娄氏带着贾菌，尤氏李纨夹着贾兰，下面横头便是贾蓉之妻。贾母便说：“珍哥儿带着你兄弟们去罢，我也就睡了。”

贾珍忙答应，又都进来。贾母道：“快去罢！不用进来，才坐好了，又都起来。你快歇着，明日还有大事呢。”贾珍忙答应了，又笑说：“留下蓉儿斟酒才是。”贾母笑道：“正是忘了他。”贾珍答应了一个“是”，便转身带领贾琏等出来。二人自是欢喜，便命人将贾琮贾璜各自送回家去，便邀了贾琏去追欢买笑，不在话下。

这里贾母笑道：“我正想着虽然这些人取乐，竟没一对双全的，就忘了蓉儿。这可全了，蓉儿就合你媳妇坐在一处，倒也团圆了。”因有媳妇回说开戏，贾母笑道：“我们娘儿们正说的兴头，又要吵起来。况且那孩子们熬夜怪冷的，也罢，叫他们且歇歇，把咱们的女孩子们叫了来，就在这台上唱两出给他们瞧瞧。”媳妇听了，答应了出来，忙的一面着人往大观园去传人，一面二门口去传小厮们伺候。小厮们忙至戏房将班中所有的大人一概带出，只留下小孩子们。

一时，梨香院的教习带了文官等十二个人，从游廊角门出来。婆子们〔七〕抱着几个软包[18]，因不及抬箱，估料着贾母爱听的三五出戏的彩衣包了来。婆子们带了文官等进去见过，只垂手站着。贾母笑道：“大正月里，你师父也不放你们出来逛逛。你等唱什么？刚才八出《八义》闹得我头疼，咱们清淡些好。你瞧瞧，薛姨太太这李亲家太太都是有戏的人家，不知听过多少好戏的。这些姑娘都比咱们家姑娘见过好戏，听过好曲子。如今这小戏子又是那有名玩戏家的班子，虽是小孩子们，却比大班还强。咱们好歹别落了褒贬，少不得弄个新样儿的。叫芳官唱一出《寻梦》[19]，只提琴[20]与管箫合，笙笛一概不用〔八〕。”文官笑道：“这也是的，我们的戏自然不能入姨太太和亲家太太姑娘们的眼，不过听我们一个发脱口齿[22]，再听一个喉咙罢了。”贾母笑道：“正是这话了。”李婶薛姨妈喜的都笑道：“好个灵透孩子，他也跟着老太太打趣我们。”贾母笑道：“我们这原是随便的顽意儿，又不出去做买卖，所以竟不大合时。”说着又道：“叫葵官唱一出《惠明下书》[23]，也不用抹脸。只用这两出叫他们听个疏异[24]罢了。若省一点力，我可不依。”

文官等听了出来，忙去扮演上台，先是《寻梦》，次是《下书》。众人都鸦雀无闻，薛姨妈因笑道：“实在亏他，戏也看过几百班，从没见用箫管的。”贾母道：“也有，只是像方才《西楼·楚江情》一支，多有小生吹箫和的。这大套的实在少，这也在主人讲究不讲究罢了。这算什么出奇？”指湘云道：“我像他这么大的时节，他爷爷有一班小戏，偏有一个弹琴的凑了来，即如《西厢记》的《听琴》，《玉簪记》的《琴挑》，《续琵琶》的《胡笳十八拍》[25]，竟成了真的了，比这个更如何？”众人都道：“这更难得了。”贾母便命个媳妇来，吩咐文官等叫他们吹一套《灯月圆》。媳妇领命而去。

当下贾蓉夫妻二人捧酒一巡，凤姐儿因见贾母十分高兴，便笑道：“趁着女先儿们在这里，不如叫他们击鼓，咱们传梅，行一个‘春喜上眉梢’[26]的令如何？”贾母笑道：“这是个好令，正对时对景。”忙命人取了一面黑漆铜钉花腔令鼓来，与女先儿们击着，席上取了一枝红梅。贾母笑道：“若到谁手里住了，吃一杯，也要说个什么才好。”凤姐儿笑道：“依我说，谁像老祖宗要什么有什么呢。我们这不会的，岂不没意思。依我说也要雅俗共赏，不如谁输了谁说个笑话罢。”众人听了，都知道他素日善说笑话，最是他肚内有无限的新鲜趣谈。今儿如此说，不但在席的诸人喜欢，连地下服侍的老小人等无不欢喜。那小丫头子们都忙出去，找姐唤妹的告诉他们：“快来听，二奶奶又说笑话儿了。”众丫头子们便挤了一屋子。

于是戏完乐罢。贾母命将些汤点果菜与文官等吃去，便命响鼓。那女先儿们皆是惯的，或紧或慢，或如残漏之滴，或如迸豆之疾，或如惊马之乱驰，或如疾电之光而忽暗。其鼓声慢，传梅亦慢；鼓声疾，传梅亦疾。恰恰至贾母手中，鼓声忽住。大家呵呵一笑，贾蓉〔九〕忙上来斟了一杯。众人都笑道：“自然老太太先喜了，我们才托赖些喜。”贾母笑道：“这酒也罢了，只是这笑话倒有些个难说。”众人都说：“老太太的比凤姐儿的还好还多，赏一个，我们也笑一笑儿。”

贾母笑道：“并没什么新鲜发笑的，少不得老脸皮子厚的说一个罢了。”因说道：“一家子养了十个儿子，娶了十房媳妇。惟有第十个媳妇聪明伶俐，心巧嘴乖，公婆最疼，成日家说那九个不孝顺。这九个媳妇委屈，便商议说：‘咱们九个心里孝顺，只是不像那小蹄子嘴巧，所以公公婆婆老了，只说他好，这委屈向谁诉去？’大媳妇有主意，便说道：‘咱们明儿到阎王庙去烧香，和阎王爷说去，问他一问，叫我们托生人，为什么单单的给那小蹄子一张乖嘴，我们都是笨的。’众人听了都喜欢，说这主意不错。第二日便都到阎王庙里来烧了香，九个人都在供桌底下睡着了。九个魂专等阎王驾到，左等不来，右等也不到。正着急，只见孙行者驾着筋斗云来了，看见九个魂便要拿金箍棒打，唬得九个魂忙跪下央求。孙行者问原故，九个人忙细细的告诉了他。孙行者听了，把脚一跺，叹了一口气道：‘这原故幸亏遇见我，等着阎王来了，他也不得知道的。’九个人听了，就求说：‘大圣发个慈悲，我们就好了。’孙行者笑道：‘这却不难。那日你们妯娌十个托生时〔一○〕，可巧我到阎王那里去的，因为撒了泡尿在地下，你那小婶子便吃了。你们如今要伶俐嘴乖，有的是尿，再撒泡你们吃了就是了。’”说毕，大家都笑起来。

凤姐儿笑道：“好的，幸而我们都笨嘴笨腮的，不然也就吃了猴儿尿了。”尤氏娄氏都笑向李纨道：“咱们这里谁是吃过猴儿尿的，别装没事人儿。”薛姨妈笑道：“笑话儿不在好歹，只要对景就发笑。”说着又击起鼓来。小丫头子们只要听凤姐儿的笑话，便悄悄的和女先儿说明，以咳嗽为记。须臾传至两遍，刚到了凤姐儿手里，小丫头子们故意咳嗽，女先儿便住了。

众人齐笑道：“这可拿住他了。快吃了酒说一个好的，别太逗的人笑的肠子疼。”凤姐儿想了一想，笑道：“一家子也是过正月半，合家赏灯吃酒，真真的热闹非常，祖婆婆、太婆婆、婆婆、媳妇、孙子媳妇、重孙子媳妇、亲孙子、侄孙子、重孙子、灰孙子、滴滴搭搭的孙子、孙女儿、外孙女儿、姨表孙女儿、姑表孙女儿，……嗳哟哟，真好热闹！”众人听他说着，已经笑了，都说：“听数贫嘴，又不知编派那一个呢？”尤氏笑道：“你要招我，我可撕你的嘴。”凤姐儿起身拍手笑道：“人家费力说，你们混，我就不说了。”贾母笑道：“你说你说，底下怎么样？”凤姐儿想了一想，笑道：“底下就团团的坐了一屋子，吃了一夜酒就散了。”众人见他正言厉色的说了，别无他话，都怔怔的还等下话，只觉冰冷无味。

史湘云看了他半日。凤姐儿笑道：“再说一个过正月半的。几个人抬着个房子大的炮仗往城外放去，引了上万的人跟着瞧去。有一个性急的人等不得，便偷着拿香点着了。只听‘噗哧’一声，众人哄然一笑都散了。这抬炮仗的人抱怨卖炮仗的扞的不结实，没等放就散了。”湘云道：“难道他本人没听见响？”凤姐儿道：“这本人原是聋子。”众人听说，一回想，不觉一齐失声都大笑起来。又想着先前那一个没完的，问他：“先一个怎么样？也该说完。”凤姐儿将桌子一拍，说道：“好罗唆，到了第二日是十六日，年也完了，节也完了，我看着人忙着收东西还闹不清，那里还知道底下的事了。”众人听说，复又笑将起来。凤姐儿笑道：“外头已经四更，依我说，老祖宗也乏了，咱们也该‘聋子放炮仗——散了’罢。”尤氏等用手帕子握着嘴，笑的前仰后合，指他说道：“这个东西真会数贫嘴。”贾母笑道：“真真这凤丫头越发贫嘴了。”一面说，一面吩咐道：“他提起炮仗来，咱们也把烟火放了解解酒。”

贾蓉听了，忙出去带着小厮们就在院内安下屏架，将烟火设吊齐备。这烟火皆系各处进贡之物，虽不甚大，却极精巧，各色故事俱全，夹着各色花炮。林黛玉禀气柔弱，不禁毕驳之声，贾母便搂他在怀中。薛姨妈搂着湘云。湘云笑道：“我不怕。”宝钗等笑道：“他专爱自己放大炮仗，还怕这个呢。”王夫人便将宝玉搂入怀内。凤姐儿笑道：“我们是没有人疼的了。”尤氏笑道：“有我呢，我搂着你。也不怕臊，你这会子〔一一〕又撒娇了，听见放炮仗，吃了蜜蜂儿屎的，今儿又轻狂起来。”凤姐儿笑道：“等散了，咱们园子里放去。我比小厮们还放的好呢。”

说话之间，外面一色一色的放了又放，又有许多的满天星、九龙入云、一声雷、飞天十响〔一二〕之类的零碎小爆竹。放罢，然后又命小戏子打了一回“莲花落”[31]，撒了满台的钱，命那些孩子们满台抢钱取乐。又上汤时，贾母说道：“夜长，觉的有些饿了。”凤姐儿忙回说：“有预备的鸭子肉粥。”贾母道：“我吃些清淡的罢。”凤姐儿忙道：“也有枣儿熬的粳米粥，预备太太们吃斋的。”贾母笑道：“不是油腻腻的就是甜的。”凤姐儿又忙道：“还有杏仁茶，只怕也甜。”贾母道：“倒是这个还罢了。”说着，又命人撤去残席，外面另设上各种精致小菜。大家随便随意吃了些，用过漱口茶，方散。

十七日〔一三〕一早，又过宁府行礼，伺候掩了宗祠，收过影像，方回来。此日便是薛姨妈家请吃年酒。十八日便是赖大家，十九日便是宁府赖升家，二十日便是林之孝家，二十一日便是单大良家，二十二日便是吴新登家。这几家，贾母也有去的，也有不去的，也有高兴直待众人散了方回的，也有兴尽半日一时就来的。凡诸亲友来请或来赴席的，贾母一概怕拘束不会，自有邢夫人、王夫人、凤姐儿三人料理。连宝玉只除王子腾家去了，馀者亦皆不会，只说贾母留下解闷。所以倒是家下人家来请，贾母可以自便之处，方高兴去逛逛。闲言不提，且说当下元宵已过——

[1] 《八义》、《观灯》——《八义》即《八义记》，明代徐元所作传奇剧本，据元杂剧《赵氏孤儿》改编，描写春秋时晋国赵盾一家与屠岸贾之间矛盾斗争的故事。剧中有八个“义士”为赵盾一家出力效命，故称“八义记”。《观灯》是该剧的选场（即折子戏）。

[2] 热孝——俗称新遭父母丧事为热孝。

[3] 回首——死亡的讳语。

〔一〕 “一个闷着”，原作“一个闷”，旁添为“一个人闷的慌”。梦稿、蒙府、戚序本作“一个闷闷的”。从甲辰本改。

〔二〕 “大节下来惹祸了”，原作“大爷下来惹祸了”，点改为“二爷下来了别惹祸了”。从各本改。

[6] 《混元盒》——明末清初的一部神魔剧，清代无名氏（或题张照）撰，内容荒诞不经。其中有金花圣母娘娘同张真人斗法的情节，“混元盒”是张真人的一件法宝。下文的“金花娘娘”是借戏中人物打趣“金（鸳鸯）、花（袭人）二位姑娘”。

[7] 矜（jīn今）功自伐——居功自夸。矜：自夸。伐：居功。

〔三〕 “来至”，原无，从蒙府、戚序本补。

[9] 沤（òu呕）子——一种润肤的油脂香蜜。也指刨花水。

〔四〕 “老太太”，原无“老”字，从各本补。

〔五〕 “薛姨妈”，原无，从蒙府、戚序本补。

〔六〕 “可知是诌掉了下巴的话”，原作“可诌掉下巴的话”，点改为“那诌掉了下巴的话”。梦稿本作“可知是诌吊了下巴的话”。从梦稿本，改“吊”为“掉”。

[13] 掰谎——揭穿谎言。掰，用双手分开。这里有分折、揭开之意。

[14] 刚口——说书艺人用语，意为言词爽利动听。这里意近“口才”。

[15] 《二十四孝》上“斑衣戏彩”——《二十四孝》是元代郭居业编的一本宣扬封建孝道的书，共收二十四个“孝子”的故事，“斑衣戏彩”即其中之一，也称“老莱娱亲”。写七十岁的老莱子穿上色彩斑斓的衣裳，拿着玩具学儿童嬉戏，以使双亲欢娱。

[16] 将军令——乐曲名，原为军中发令时所用鼓吹之曲，后仿其调制成乐曲。

〔七〕 “一时……婆子们”共二十七字，原缺，从各本补。

[18] 软包——演出时只带简单的服装道具的布包。

[19] 《寻梦》——《牡丹亭》的第十二出，写杜丽娘在梦中与柳梦梅欢会后，次日在花园中循迹重温梦境的情节。

[20] 提琴——这里指胡琴。

〔八〕 “只提琴与管箫合，笙笛一概不用”，原“只”下旁添“要”，“至”下旁添“于”。此处底本及馀各本似均有讹夺，此从底本原文。

[22] 发脱口齿——唱戏时的发声吐字。

[23] 《惠明下书》——李日华改编的南曲《西厢记》第二本第二折（一作楔子），叙惠明和尚持张生的书信投送蒲关，请白马将军杜确前来普救寺解围的情节。

[24] 疏异——这里即新鲜别致之意。

[25] 《西厢记》的《听琴》等戏曲——《听琴》是南曲《西厢记》第二本，写崔莺莺月夜听张生弹琴而知音会意的情景。《玉簪记》是明代高濂编写的传奇，描写尼姑陈妙常和书生潘必正结合的故事；《琴挑》是该剧第十六出《寄弄》演出本的名目。《续琵琶》是曹雪芹的祖父曹寅撰写的传奇，今存抄本，描写汉末蔡邕的女儿蔡文姬在曹操帮助下从南匈奴回到汉朝的故事；其第二十七出《制拍》表现蔡文姬写作和弹奏《胡笳十八拍》，倾诉自己一生的遭遇和心情。

[26] 春喜上眉梢——即“击鼓传梅”的雅称，“梅”“眉”谐音。将“传梅”说成“喜上眉（梅）梢”，是为讨吉利的口彩。

〔九〕 “贾蓉”，原作“贾母”，旁添为“贾母也笑了”。从各本改。

〔一○〕 “托生时”，原作“那日托生时”，从各本删。

〔一一〕 “这会子”，原作“这孩子”，除梦稿本全句有异外，其馀各本均作“这会子”，从改。

〔一二〕 “飞天十响”，原“十”为旁添，各本均作“飞天十响”，从。

[31] 莲花落——曲艺的一种，也叫“莲花乐”、“落（lào涝）子”。原为行乞卖唱者所唱，后出现专业艺人；演唱内容多为民间传说，打竹板按节拍伴奏，因而说“打了一回莲花落”。

〔一三〕 “方散。十七日”，原作“十七日方散”，点改为“方散。十六日”。从各本改。

CHAPTER 54. Lady Jia ridicules the clichés of romantic fiction And Wang Xi-feng emulates the filial antics of Lao Lai-zi

TO CONTINUE OUR STORY:

Cousin Zhen and Jia Lian had secretly instructed their pages to have a large flat-bottomed basket of largesse-money in readiness, and when they heard Grandmother Jia call out ‘Largesse!’, they told the pages to take this basket and empty it onto the stage. The money showered down on the boards with a tremendous ringing clatter, which greatly delighted the old lady.

The two men now rose to their feet. A page hurried forward and handed Jia Lian a silver kettle of freshly-heated wine on a tray. Taking the kettle, Jia Lian followed his cousin into the hall. Cousin Zhen went first to Mrs Li, bowed, took her winecup and, turning back, handed it to Jia Lian to fill. Then he did the same for Aunt Xue. The two ladies stood up, meanwhile, politely demurring:

‘Please, gentlemen, go back to your seats! You are too polite!’

With the exception of the four senior ladies – Aunt Xue, Mrs Li, Lady Xing and Lady Wang – all the females present now left their seats and stood, hands at their sides, while Cousin Zhen and Jia Lian went over to the couch on which Grandmother Jia reclined. As it was rather a low one, the two men knelt to serve her. The other males, who had followed them into the hall and were standing a little behind them drawn up in their order of seniority, with Jia Cong at their head, seeing Cousin Zhen and Jia Lian kneel, knelt down in a row behind them, whereupon Bao-yu hurriedly rose from his chair and knelt down as well. Xiang-yun nudged him, amused.

‘What do you want to kneel down with them for?’ she whispered. ‘If you’re feeling so polite all of a sudden, it would be more to the point to get up and serve everyone yourself.’

‘So I shall, presently,’ Bao-yu whispered back at her.

The two men had now finished serving Grandmother Jia and gone on to serve Lady Xing and Lady Wang.

‘What about the young ladies?’ Cousin Zhen inquired when these last two had been attended to.

‘No, no, go and sit down now!’ Grandmother Jia and the senior ladies cried. ‘Spare them the formality.’

At this Cousin Zhen and the other males withdrew.

It was now about ten o’clock and the play being performed – the ‘Feast of Lanterns’ section from The Orphan’s Revenge – had reached a climax of noise and excitement. Bao-yu tried to slip out unnoticed under cover of the din, but his grandmother had spotted him.

‘Where are you going?’ she called. ‘There are a lot of fireworks about outside. Mind a piece of burning touch-paper doesn’t fall on you and set you alight!’

‘I’m not going very far,’ said Bao-yu. ‘I’ll be back directly.’

Grandmother Jia ordered some of the old nannies present to go after him and see that he was all right. Observing that he had only Musk and Ripple and a couple of little junior maids in attendance, she asked what had become of Aroma.

‘That girl is getting above herself,’ she said. ‘Sending the younger maids to stand in for her! – What next?’

Lady Wang rose hastily in Aroma’s defence.

‘It is only a few days since her mother died. She is still in mourning for her mother. It wouldn’t be right for her to go out in company yet.’

Grandmother Jia nodded, but seemed to have second thoughts:

‘That’s all very well, but bereavement shouldn’t make any difference where a master or mistress is concerned. Suppose she had still been working for me: do you think she would have stayed away then? One doesn’t want this sort of thing to become a precedent.’

Xi-feng came to her aunt’s assistance:

‘Even if she weren’t in mourning, she would still need to be keeping an eye on things. Tonight, with lanterns and fireworks everywhere, there is a terrible danger of fire. Whenever we have plays, the people from the Garden all come sneaking over here to watch. It’s just as well to have one careful person like Aroma left behind there who can go round making sure that everything is all right. Besides, she’ll be able to see that everything is ready for Bao-yu so that he can go straight to bed when he gets back. If she were here, you can be sure that no one else would bother. He would go back to find his bedding cold, and there would be no hot water for his tea or anything else ready for him. I’m afraid I took it for granted that you would prefer her not to come; but if you want her here, Grannie, I can easily go and fetch her for you.’

‘No, no, don’t fetch her,’ said Grandmother Jia hurriedly. ‘You have obviously given the matter more thought than I. There’s only one thing, though. When did her mother die? Why didn’t I get to hear about it?’

‘But Aroma came to tell you about it herself,’ said Xi-feng, smiling. ‘Surely you can’t have forgotten already?’

Grandmother Jia thought for a bit.

‘Yes, I do seem to remember something about it. I’m afraid my memory isn’t up to much these days.’

‘You can’t remember everything,’ the others said reassuringly.

Grandmother Jia sighed:

‘She served me all those years when she was a little girl, then she was with Yun for a while, and during these past few years she’s had that holy terror who left a moment ago to put up with. I remember thinking at the time that we owe the girl a bit of kindness – especially as she’s not one of our own home-reared servants but one who came to us from outside – and meaning to ask them to give her something towards the funeral when I heard that her mother had died, but I’m afraid that afterwards I forgot.’

‘It’s already been taken care of,’ said Xi-feng. ‘Lady Wang gave her forty taels for funeral expenses the other day.’

Grandmother Jia nodded:

‘Ah well, that’s all right then. As a matter of fact Faithful lost her mother too, quite recently. I couldn’t let her go to the funeral because her parents were living in the South. Since she and Aroma are both in mourning, why don’t we let her go and join Aroma? The two of them can keep each other company.’

She ordered some of the women in attendance to make a selection of the cakes and other delicacies they had been eating and take them for Faithful to eat with Aroma in Green Delights.

‘You’re a bit late with your suggestion,’ said Amber, laughing. ‘Faithful went over to Aroma’s place hours ago!’

This remark concluded the discussion and the company’s briefly distracted attention returned now to the business of drinking and watching the play.

After leaving the party, Bao-yu made his way straight through to the Garden. The old women whom his grandmother had sent after him, realizing that he must be returning to his own apartment, did not accompany him inside but slipped into the tea-kitchen of the gatehouse to warm themselves at the stove and avail themselves of the opportunity for some surreptitious drinking and a hand or two of cards.

On entering his courtyard Bao-yu found Green Delights ablaze with lights but silent as the grave.

‘Surely they can’t all have gone to bed?’ said Musk. ‘Let’s go in quietly and make them jump.’

Bao-yu and the four girls tiptoed through the outer room and peeped through the apertures of the mirror-wall into the room within. Aroma and another girl were lying facing each other on the nearer side of the kang. At the further end two or three old women appeared to be taking a nap. Bao-yu was just about to push open the mirror-door and enter when the sound of a sigh came from the direction of the kang and he could hear the voice of Faithful speaking:

‘You see, you can never be sure of anything in this life. Look at you, for example, on your own here with a free family living outside, never sure from one year to the next where they might move to: you never expected to be with your mother at the end, did you? Yet it just so happened that this year she was living near at hand and you were able to be a good daughter to her when she died.’

‘It’s true,’ said Aroma. ‘When I first came here, I didn’t think I’d ever see my mother again. And do you know, when I went to tell Her Ladyship that she’d passed away, she gave me forty taels for funeral expenses. She couldn’t have done more for me if I’d been her own daughter. It’s certainly more than I’d have dared hope for.’

Bao-yu turned back and whispered to Musk and the others behind him:

‘It’s Faithful in there with her. I didn’t think she’d be here. If I go inside now, she’s sure to rush off in a huff – she always does nowadays when she sees me. We’d better go away again and leave the two of them in peace. Aroma must have been pretty miserable on her own. It’s nice that she’s got Faithful with her to talk to.’

He tiptoed out again and taking his stand behind a rock, began hitching up his clothes. Musk and Ripple, who were standing behind him, suppressed a giggle:

‘Why don’t you squat down to take off your underthings? You’ll get the wind on your belly, standing up like that!’

The two junior maids who had been following behind Musk and Ripple, as soon as they saw the reason for the halt, hurried off to the tea-kitchen for hot water to wash his hands.

Bao-yu had finished and was just turning back to the waiting maids when two womenservants appeared, walking in his direction. Seeing this dark figure lurking amongst the rocks, they loudly demanded who it was.

‘It’s Bao-yu,’ said Ripple. ‘Don’t shout at him like that, you’ll scare the daylights out of him!’

‘Oh I am sorry,’ said the woman who had shouted. ‘What an awful thing to do – and today of all days! How are you, young ladies? Having a nice holiday? You certainly deserve it, after all your work during the rest of the year.’

As they came closer, Musk asked them what they were carrying.

‘It’s some things from Her Old Ladyship for Miss Faithful and Miss Aroma,’ said the woman. ‘She suddenly thought of them, while she was watching the play.’

‘Oh?’ said Ripple. ‘I thought it was The Orphan’s Revenge they were watching, not The Magic Casket!’

‘Take the lids off and let’s have a look,’ said Bao-yu.

The two women squatted on their haunches and held out the food-boxes while Musk and Ripple took off the lids. Bao-yu leaned over and looked into them. Each one contained a selection of the very choicest of the various sweet and savoury confections they had been eating at the party. He nodded approvingly before hurrying on. Musk and Ripple threw down the lids – somewhat carelessly – and hurried after him.

‘Now those two women seemed very nice,’ said Bao-yu. ‘They were certainly very civil. Think how hard they must work every day, yet they could still say those nice things about you – none of that boasting about how busy they are and how much they do for us that you get from some of these people.’

‘Oh, those two are all right,’ said Musk. ‘Some of them are really terrible, though.’

‘They can’t help being stupid,’ said Bao-yu. ‘Being more intelligent than they are, you ought to feel sorry for them. You only have to be a bit more forebearing with them and they’d give you no trouble.’

While he was speaking, they were passing through the gateway of the Garden. The old women drinking and playing cards in the tea-kitchen had been taking it in turns to get up and peep outside so as not to be taken off their guard, and seeing Bao-yu through the gate, they came hurrying out after him.

In the gallery leading to the hall where the party was he came upon the two little maids who had gone to fetch hot water. They had been waiting there for some time, one with a basin of water, the other with a towel over her arm and a pot of hand lotion. Ripple first tested the water with her hand.

‘The older you grow the more stupid you get,’ she said to the girl. ‘This water is stone cold.’

‘Blame the weather, miss,’ said the girl. ‘I was afraid the water would cool quickly so I poured it out boiling from the kettle, but you see it makes no difference.’

Just at that moment an old woman chanced to be passing by with a kettle full of freshly-boiled water.

‘Here, missus,’ the girl with the basin called after her, ‘do us a favour! Come over and pour some in this basin, will you?’

‘This is for Her Old Ladyship’s tea,’ said the old woman. ‘Go and get some yourself, young lady – walking won’t spoil your feet!’

‘I don’t care who it’s for,’ said Ripple, ‘but if you won’t pour that water out for her, I shall come and do it myself.’

The old woman turned. Recognizing Ripple, she hurriedly lifted the kettle up and poured some water into the basin.

‘That’s enough,’ said Ripple. ‘Really, a person of your age ought to have more sense! We know it’s Her Old Ladyship’s. Do you suppose we’d have dared ask for it if we weren’t entitled to?’

The old woman smiled apologetically:

‘My eyesight’s not too good. I didn’t recognize this young lady as one of yours.’

When Bao-yu had finished washing, the other girl poured some of the lotion onto his palm and he rubbed it into his hands. Ripple and Musk took advantage of the hot water to wash their own hands too, and after rubbing a little of the lotion into them, followed Bao-yu back into the hall.

Calling for a kettle of warm wine, Bao-yu now took his turn at pouring for the ladies, beginning with Mrs Li and Aunt Xue. They protested smilingly and begged him to go back to his seat, but Grandmother Jia insisted that he should pour for them.

‘He’s young,’ she said. ‘Let him do it. But let us empty our cups first for this round.’

She drained her winecup as she said this. Lady Xing and Lady Wang followed suit and the other two ladies felt constrained to imitate their example.

‘Pour out for the girls too,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘And do it properly. See that they empty their cups first before you fill them.’

‘Yes, Grandma,’ said Bao-yu, and proceeded from table to table, pouring for everyone in turn. When he got to Dai-yu he hesitated, knowing that for her this sort of drinking was an impossibility; but Dai-yu held her cup up to his lips and he drained its contents for her at a gulp.

‘Thank you,’ she said, smiling gratefully. Bao-yu refilled the winecup.

‘Don’t go drinking cold wine, Bao-yu,’ Xi-feng called out to him. ‘It’ll make your hand shake. You won’t be able to write properly or draw a straight bow.’

‘I haven’t been drinking cold wine,’ said Bao-yu.

‘I know, I know,’ said Xi-feng gaily. ‘I was only joking.’

When Bao-yu had finished pouring out for all the girls – all, that is, except Jia Rong’s wife Hu-shi, who, being of a generation below his, had to have her drink poured out for her by a maid – he went onto the verandah outside and poured for Cousin Zhen and the men. Having done so, he sat and chatted with them for a while before going back into the hall and resuming his seat with the ladies.

Presently soup was served and, shortly after, little First Moon dumplings of sweetened rice-flour. Grandmother Jia expressed concern for the boy-actors outside in the cold:

‘Tell them to break off for a bit, poor little things! Let them have some hot soup and some good hot food to eat before they go on again. They can have some of these cakes and things, and some of these dumplings.’

A few minutes later, the stage in the courtyard having by now fallen silent, two blind female ballad-singers, both of them familiar visitors to the house, were led in by the women. A couple of high stools were placed behind them, on which Grandmother Jia invited them to be seated, and their instruments were handed to them, a pipa lute and a three-stringed ‘samisen’ guitar. Grandmother Jia asked Mrs Li and Aunt Xue what story they would like to hear.

‘Anything,’ they said.

Grandmother Jia turned to the two women:

‘Have you added anything new to your repertoire lately?’

‘Yes,’ said one of the women. ‘We’ve got a new story set in the Five Dynasties period, after the fall of Tang.’

‘What’s it called?’ Grandmother Jia asked her.

‘It’s called The Phoenix Seeks a Mate,’ said the woman.

‘Well, the name sounds all right,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘Can you give us an idea what it’s about, then we can decide whether we want to hear it or not?’

‘This story took place in the time of the Five Dynasties after the decline of the Tang,’ said the woman. ‘There was in those days a certain gentleman called Wang Zhong who, after having served as Chief Minister under two successive reigns, had retired because of old age to live on his estate in the country. Now this Wang Zhong had an only son whose name was Wang Xi-feng –’

This set everyone laughing.

‘Feng’s double, evidently,’ said Grandmother Jia.

One of the womenservants gave the blind ballad-singer a prod:

‘Don’t talk such nonsense! That’s our Mrs Lian’s name.’

‘Carry on, carry on!’ said Grandmother Jia.

The blind woman rose to her feet:

‘I’m dreadfully sorry, Mrs Lian. I had really no idea it was your name.’

‘Do carry on,’ said Xi-feng, laughing. ‘That’s quite all right. Coincidences over names are the commonest thing in the world.’

The woman sat down again and continued:

‘A time came when this old Sir Wang sent his son off to the capital to sit for the examinations. One day, while the young man was on his journey, there was a great downpour of rain and he was forced to seek shelter in a near-by grange. Now it so happened that the owner of this grange was a former acquaintance of old Sir Wang’s called Li, and this old Sir Li invited the young man to spend a few days with him at the grange, accommodating him in his own study. Sir Li had no son of his own, but he had an only daughter called Chuluan, a very accomplished young lady who excelled in everything she turned her hand to, whether it was performing on the qin or playing Go or painting or calligraphy –’

‘I can see why it’s called The Phoenix Seeks a Mate,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘You don’t need to tell me what the story’s about, I can guess already. “Feng” means “phoenix” and “Chu-luan” means “little hen phoenix”. Obviously it’s the story of how Wang Xi-feng seeks to make this Li Chu-luan his wife.’

‘I believe Your Old Ladyship has heard this story before,’ said the blind woman, smiling.

‘Her Old Ladyship has heard everything,’ someone told her. ‘And what she hasn’t heard she can guess.’

‘These stories are all the same,’ said Grandmother Jia, ‘– so tedious! Always the same ideally eligible young bachelors and the same ideally beautiful and accomplished young ladies – at least, they are supposed to be ideal, but there’s certainly nothing ideal about their behaviour – in fact there’s nothing very ladylike about them at all. Invariably, we are told how well-born they are. Their father has been a Prime Minister, or a First Secretary at the very least. They are always their father’s only child and the apple of his eye. They are always amazingly well-educated, a model of decorum, a regular paragon of all the virtues – that is, until the first presentable young man comes along. As soon as he appears on the scene – it doesn’t matter who or what he is – all their book-learning and the duty they owe their parents fly out of the window and the next moment they are “making their plans for the future” and generally carrying on in a way that would bring blushes to the cheek of a cat-burglar – certainly not in the least like respectable, educated young ladies. You would hardly call a young woman who conducted herself like that a “paragon”, however many books she might have read – any more than you would acquit a young fellow charged with highway robbery on the grounds that he was a good scholar. The people who make up these stories give themselves the lie every time they open their mouths.

‘And for another thing: if these young women really belonged to cultivated, aristocratic households in which the girls and their mothers were all educated people, then even allowing for the somewhat reduced circumstances owing to their father’s early retirement, you can be sure there would still be plenty of nannies and maids in attendance on them. So how is it that in all of these stories there is only ever a single confidante who knows what her young mistress is getting up to? What are all the other servants supposed to be doing all this time? Of course, this is only another example of the way in which these stories contradict themselves.’

There was some laughter from the assembled company and someone complimented Grandmother Jia on her perceptiveness in exposing the underlying falseness of these stories.

‘There’s always a reason for it,’ the old lady went on. ‘In some cases it’s because the writer is envious of people so much better off than himself, or disappointed because he has tried to obtain their patronage and failed, and deliberately portrays them in this unfavourable light as a means of getting his own back on them. In other cases the writers have been corrupted by reading this sort of stuff before they begin to write any themselves, and, though totally ignorant of what life in educated, aristocratic families is really like, portray their heroines in this way simply because everyone else does so and they think it will please their readers. I ask you now, never mind very grand families like the ones they pretend to be writing about, even in average well-to-do families like ours when do you ever hear of such carryings-on? It’s a wonder their jaws don’t drop off, telling such dreadful lies! For my part, I have never allowed these sort of stories to be told. Even the maids here don’t know about such matters. It’s true that during the past year or two, since I’ve been getting older, and particularly now that the young people are most of the time safely out of the way in the Garden, I do once in a while listen to a snatch or two of one of these stories, when I feel in need of cheering up a bit; but as soon as the children arrive, I make the person telling it stop.’

Mesdames Li and Xue were thoroughly in agreement:

‘That is the general rule in all the best people’s houses. Even in our households the children aren’t allowed to listen to such stories.’

Xi-feng walked over to pour the old lady a drink:

‘Come on, Grannie, that’s enough! Your wine will be getting cold. Drink this first to wet your whistle. You can go on with your lecture afterwards.’

She turned to the rest of the company:

‘The story you’ve just been listening to is called Falsehood Exposed, or The Tale of a Grandmother. It is a story which took place under the reigning dynasty, on this very day of this very month of this very year on this very spot and at this very hour. How can Grannie “with one mouth tell a double tale”? Ah, how indeed! Our tale puts forth two tails. Which tail to wag? Wig-wag. But for the time being we do not inquire which tale is false, which true. Our story turns rather to those people in the party who were admiring the lanterns and watching the play… Just give these two kinsfolk a chance to drink a cup of wine and watch a scene or two more of the play, Grannie, and then you can get on with your Exposure of Falsehood – dynasty by dynasty.’

She continued unconcernedly pouring wine while her audience convulsed themselves. Even the blind ballad-singers were in stitches.

‘You’ve got the gift, Mrs Lian,’ they said. ‘It’s what we call a “hard mouth”. If you were to take up story-telling as a profession, we should be out of business!’

‘Don’t let them encourage you,’ said Aunt Xue to Xi-feng, laughing. ‘You must behave yourself. There are people outside listening. This isn’t like every day, you know.’

‘It’s only Cousin Zhen outside there,’ said Xi-feng. ‘He and I used to get up to all sorts of mischief together in our younger days. It’s only during the last few years since I’ve grown up and married Lian that I’ve had to start being a bit more strait-laced with him. But even though we have to treat each other like solemn in-laws nowadays, I’m sure he doesn’t mind me fooling about like this. Think of Lao Lai-zi in the Twenty-Four Patterns of Filial Piety, dressing up in children’s clothes at the age of seventy and playing at “dicky-bird” in front of his aged parents to keep them amused. If Cousin Zhen and the other menfolk won’t come in here and play dicky-bird themselves, the fact that I’m taking so much trouble to make Grannie laugh and get her to eat a bit should make them feel pleased and grateful, not critical of my behaviour.’

‘It’s true, I haven’t had a really good laugh for days,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘She has made me laugh so much, I really do feel better for it. I think I’ll have another drop of wine.

She took a sip from her cup and then turned to address Bao-yu:

‘Pour a cup for your Cousin Feng.’

‘No need,’ said Xi-feng. ‘Let me share your good health.’

She took the cup that Grandmother Jia had just been drinking from and tossed back what remained of the wine in it, then, handing the cup to a maid to take away, she replaced it with a clean one that had been previously warmed in hot water. She then proceeded to do the same for everyone else, removing their dirty cups and replacing them with clean, warmed ones. After that she poured out a fresh supply of wine for everyone before returning to her seat.

‘If Your Old Ladyship doesn’t want to hear a story,’ said the blind woman who had spoken before, ‘perhaps you’d like us to do a song for you.’

‘Give us “O Captain, Captain”,’ said Grandmother Jia.

The two women at once began tuning their instruments and presently struck up a lively tune, the words of which were divided alternately between them.

Grandmother Jia inquired what the time was.

‘Midnight,’ said one of the senior womenservants.

‘No wonder it’s getting so cold,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘It really is bitter.’

Maids were already arriving with more clothes, which they helped their mistresses to change into or put on over what they were already wearing.

Lady Wang rose, smiling, to her feet:

‘Why don’t you go into the room at the back, Mother, where the heated kang is? Mrs Li and my sister are not outsiders; I’m sure they won’t mind. And the rest of us will take care of them for you.’

‘Why don’t we all go inside?’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘That will be much cosier.’

‘I doubt there’s room for us all,’ said Lady Wang.

‘I’ll tell you what,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘We don’t need all these tables now. Why don’t we have just two or three of them taken inside? We can have them put together to make one big table, then we can all squeeze up round it and keep each other warm. That will be much jollier!’

Everyone agreed that this was a good idea and got up from their places in preparation for the move. The tables were cleared, the three largest ones were carried into the inner room and put together, and the dessert, with various additions and replacements, was relaid on them inside.

‘Now,’ said Grandmother Jia when everybody was inside, ‘you must forget about seniority now and sit down where I put you.’

She made Mrs Li and Mrs Xue sit at one end, facing south, and placed herself close to them on the east side, with Xiang-yun squeezed in on one side of her and Dai-yu and Bao-qin on the other.

‘You must sit next to your mother,’ she told Bao-yu. So Lady Xing and Lady Wang came next on the east side with Bao-yu sandwiched between them.

She put Bao-chai on the west side at the end nearest to Mrs Li, then came the Three Springs, then Lou-shi with her little boy Jia Jun, then Li Wan and You-shi with little Jia Lan squeezed in between them, and finally Xi-feng.

Jia Rong’s wife, Hu-shi, sat on her own at the north end, round the corner from Xi-feng.

When they were all seated, Grandmother Jia called to Cousin Zhen and the menfolk to leave, saying that she herself would shortly be going off to bed. Hearing her call, Cousin Zhen came hurrying inside, bringing the others with him.

‘Go away, go away!’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘Don’t come in here! They’ve only just sat down, they don’t want to have to all get up again. Off to bed with you! You’ve got important things to do in the morning.’

‘Very good,’ said Cousin Zhen. ‘I’ll leave Rong behind then, to pour the drinks for you.’

‘Ah yes,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘I’d forgotten him.’

Cousin Zhen and Jia Lian withdrew. Pleased to be so soon released, they arranged for Jia Cong and Jia Huan to be escorted back to their own apartments and went off, as they had planned to do if possible, to spend the rest of the night together on the town. But that is no part of our story.

‘I was just thinking,’ said Grandmother Jia when they had gone, ‘– all these people enjoying themselves here tonight: all we lacked was a young married couple to make it seem like a proper reunion. I was forgetting about Rong. Sit next to your wife, Rong. Let’s see you both together.’

Just then some of the women came in bringing a playbill with them. The players were preparing to resume.

‘Oh, just as we were beginning to enjoy a little conversation,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘Now we shan’t be able to hear ourselves speak. And those poor children must be getting dreadfully cold after so many hours in the open. Why don’t we give them a rest? Call our own troupe over and let them do something on this stage. The other ones can stay here and watch them.’

With answering cries the women went out to make the necessary arrangements. Messengers were sent, some into Prospect Garden to summon the young actresses, others to the inner gate to requisition some pages. When the pages presented themselves at the green-room door they were told to take away all the grown-up members of the visiting troupe and entertain them elsewhere so that only the boy-actors should be present when the little actresses arrived. These last were to be observed shortly afterwards, issuing from the gallery at the corner entrance to the courtyard, preceded by their chief singing instructor and accompanied by a number of women carrying bundles. There had not been time to bring the wardrobe-boxes, so they had had to make a guess at the three or four plays that Grandmother Jia was likeliest to want to hear and hurriedly bundle together the costumes that would be needed for their performance.

Led by the women who had summoned them, Élégante and the rest entered the heated back room of the hall, made their curtsies to Grandmother Jia and the rest of the company, and then stood, arms held stiffly at their sides, awaiting instructions.

Grandmother Jia smiled at them benevolently:

‘Doesn’t your teacher give you a holiday even for First Moon? Dear, dear, dear! – Well now, what are you going to sing for us? We’ve just been listening to The Orphan’s Revenge, which was so noisy that it’s given us all headaches. We’d like to hear something a bit quieter now. I ought to tell you that we have a very discriminating audience here tonight. There’s Mrs Xue and Mrs Li here who both come from families which used to keep their own troupes of players and who have heard heaven knows how many good performances between them; there are some young ladies here who know much more than our own girls about plays and music; and the troupe you saw just now outside, though they are only children, belong to a famous connoisseur and are better than many commercial companies of grown-up players. So if we don’t want to disgrace ourselves, we shall have to be on our best. Now let’s see. Let’s try to think of something a bit different to show them. Suppose we get Parfumée to sing “The Dream Recalled” from The Return of the Soul with just a fiddle to accompany her – leaving out all the woodwind. How would that be for a start?’

‘Just the thing, Your Old Ladyship,’ said Élégante drily. ‘We’re certainly not good enough for Mrs Xue and Mrs Li to want to see us in full performance. They just want an idea of what our diction and voice-production are like.’

‘Quite so,’ said Grandmother Jia.

The two ladies referred to were much diverted by Élégante’s reply.

‘I believe you and Her Old Ladyship are pulling our legs,’ they told her.

‘Not at all,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘These girls are trained only for our own private amusement, not as an investment. We don’t hire them out, like some people. So they really aren’t up to commercial standards.’

She turned to Althée, the performer of ‘painted face’ parts:

‘You can do “Hui-ming Takes the Letter” from The Western Chamber. Don’t bother to make up for it, though. I think those two scenes should be enough to give our guests some idea of what you can do. Put all you’ve got into it, now, or I shall have something to say to you!’

The little actresses went out. Those who were to play had soon got into their costumes and the performance began: first ‘The Dream Recalled’ and then ‘Taking the Letter’. The audience listened throughout with rapt attention. When the performance had ended, Aunt Xue observed that, though she had seen hundreds of different companies in her time, she had never before heard a performance in which the woodwind in the orchestra was silent.

‘Oh yes,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘Take that “Chu River” aria the heroine sings in The House in Ping-kang Lane that we were listening to earlier in the evening. Quite often you can see productions which leave out the woodwind parts in the orchestral accompaniment. Instead they have the male lead playing a flute accompaniment on the stage. I agree, a whole sequence with only string accompaniment is unusual, but there’s nothing very special about it. It depends entirely on the individual preference of the person who owns the troupe.’

She pointed to Xiang-yun:

‘When I was this child’s age her grandfather had a troupe of young actresses one of whom was a very good qin-player. She took a number of qin-playing scenes like the famous one from The Western Chamber and the scene in which Miao-chang plays the qin in The Jade Hairpin and the “Eighteen Stanzas for the Barbarian Pipe” from the modern sequel to The Story of the Lute, and arranged them in a single sequence with qin accompaniment. That was rather impressive. More what-shall-I-say than the things we have just been listening to.’

‘Yes,’ the others agreed, ‘that does sound most unusual.’

Grandmother Jia called the women over and told them that she would now like Élégante and the others to perform an instrumental piece called Lantern Festival Moon. The women went out again to transmit her order. Meanwhile Jia Rong and his wife went round replenishing the winecups.

Xi-feng observed that Grandmother Jia was in very good spirits.

‘While the ballad-singers are still here,’ she said, ‘why don’t we get them to play “Spring Joy on Every Brow” for us and we can have a game of “Pass the Plum”?’

‘Oh yes, that’s a good game,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘Just right for this time of year, too.’

Orders were given for a pair of drums to be fetched – special ‘drinker’s drums’ whose black lacquered sides were studded with patterns of brass nails – and handed to the blind women. Someone produced a flowering spray of red plum for the game.

‘Now,’ said Grandmother Jia, ‘whoever’s hand the branch is in when the drumming stops must first drink a cup of wine and then they have to say something: but what shall it be?’

‘You can turn your hand to anything, Grannie,’ said Xi-feng, ‘but for those of us who aren’t so clever it won’t be much fun if it’s something that we’re no good at. I think it should be something that all of us can enjoy. Why not say that whoever the branch stops with must tell a joke?’

Everyone present knew that Xi-feng was a wonderful raconteuse with a seemingly inexhaustible stock of new and funny stories. The servants standing below in attendance seemed quite as much delighted by this proposal as the members of the family sitting around the table on the kang, and several little maids went racing off to inform sisters or cousins outside:

‘Quick, come inside! Mrs Lian is going to tell a joke.’

In no time at all the room was packed with maids.

The actresses had by now finished playing. Grandmother Jia, after first seeing to it that they were given some soup and a selection of the delicacies available, gave orders for the drumming to begin.

The blind women were practised performers in this game and deliberately varied the speed of the beat. Sometimes it would be as slow as the last drips of a water-clock, sometimes as fast as the rattle of dried beans poured from a bag, sometimes it would go galloping along like a runaway horse, sometimes it became a soft whisper interspersed with sudden bursts of sound to make you jump, like flashes of lightning in the darkness. When the beat was slow, the branch passed slowly from hand to hand; when it was hurried, the passing too grew faster. Then suddenly it stopped altogether while Grandmother Jia was holding it. This, in itself, was enough to make everyone laugh. Jia Rong quickly came round and filled up the old lady’s winecup.

‘Naturally Grandma is the lucky first,’ the others said. ‘You must let us share your luck, Grandma!’

‘The wine is no problem,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘It’s the joke that’s worrying me.’

‘Come now, your jokes are better even than Feng’s, Grandma,’ they said. ‘Do tell us one. Make us all laugh.’

‘I don’t know any good new ones,’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘I’ll just have to put a bold face on it and do the best I can.’

She began her story.

‘In a certain family there were ten sons, all of whom were married, but of the girls they married only one, the youngest, was intelligent and nimble-witted and a good talker. The old couple doted on this clever daughter-in-law and day in day out found fault with the other nine. The other nine naturally resented this and took counsel together what they should do about it.

‘“At heart we are every bit as dutiful as she is,” they said, “but because the little wretch is so glib, father-in-law and mother-in-law only care for her. Isn’t there anything we can do about this injustice?”

‘Then one of the nine had an idea:

‘“Why don’t we go to the temple of Yama, the King of the Underworld, and ask him why, when our souls first went into human bodies, he gave that little horror a clever tongue and made all the rest of us so stupid?”

‘The others were delighted with this suggestion, and so next day they all went trooping off to the temple of King Yama and, after offering up incense, lay down on the steps of the altar and went to sleep. When they were asleep, the souls of the nine sisters-in-law waited and waited and waited, but King Yama didn’t come.

‘Presently, just as they were growing desperate, Monkey came bowling along on his cloud-trapeze, and seeing the nine souls there, lifted up his metal-clasped cudgel to strike them with. The souls knelt down in terror and begged him to spare them. Monkey asked them what they were doing there, so they told him their story. When they had finished, Monkey stamped his foot and sighed sympathetically.

‘“What a good job you met me here and not old Yama,” he said. “He wouldn’t have been able to help you at all.”

‘The nine souls implored him to tell them what they should do.

‘“Do but have compassion on us, Great Sage,” they said, “and our troubles will be over.”

‘“It’s quite simple,” said Monkey with a laugh. “The day that the ten of you were due to enter your human bodies, I happened to have been around at old Yama’s place and done a little piddle on the floor, and just before she was born, that little sister-in-law of yours drank it all up. That’s what gave her such a clever tongue. If clever tongues are all you want, I can do as much piddle for you as you like.”’

The story ended amidst laughter.

‘It’s a good job all of us are such stupid, tongue-tied creatures,’ said Xi-feng. ‘I should hate to think that any of us had drunk monkey’s piddle!’

You-shi and Lou-shi turned towards Li Wan, laughing:

‘I wonder who she thinks she’s fooling. It’s very clear which of us in this room is the one who drank monkey’s piddle!’

‘A joke is always the better for being apt,’ Aunt Xue observed.

While she was speaking, the drumming began again. The maids, who wanted only to hear Wang Xi-feng tell a joke, had come to a secret understanding with the blind women that if one of them coughed it would be a signal to stop, and when the branch had been round twice and had just reached Xi-feng for the second time, the maids all coughed and the drumming stopped. There was a shout of laughter from all present.

‘Ha!’ they said. ‘Now we’ve got you! Hurry up with your wine and tell us a good one – only don’t make us laugh so much that we get stomach-ache!’

Xi-feng thought for a few moments and then started:

‘A family was celebrating the First Moon festival, just as we are doing, admiring the lanterns and drinking wine together. It was a very lively party and everyone in the family was there: the grandmother, the great-grandmother, the daughters-in-law, the granddaughters-in-law, the great-granddaughters-in-law, the grandsons, the great-nephews, the great-grandsons, the great-great-grandsons, the great-little-medium-grandsons, the granddaughters, the great-nieces, the first cousins once removed, the first cousins twice removed, the second cousins two-and-a-half times removed – oh, goodness gracious me, it was a really lively party! –’

Her audience were already laughing.

‘She’s a caution!’ they said. ‘I wonder which of us she’s got it in for this time.’

‘Don’t you bring me into it,’ said You-shi, laughing: ‘I’ll tear your mouth for you!’

Xi-feng stood up and struck her hands together in mock despair:

‘Here am I going to all this trouble to entertain you and all you do is keep interrupting. All right then, I won’t go on.’

‘Go on, go on! Take no notice of them!’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘What happened then?’

‘What happened then?’ said Xi-feng. ‘Oh, there they all sat, and after drinking together all night long, they went to bed.’

She said this straight-faced and in a very matter-of-fact tone of voice. Her audience waited open-mouthed for her to continue, but nothing was forthcoming, and at last they realized, with a chill of disappointment, that that was all they were going to hear. After a long, old-fashioned look from Shi Xiang-yun she relented, however.

‘All right, let me tell you another story about people celebrating the First Moon festival.

‘Some men were taking an enormous rocket outside the city and a crowd of thousands had collected behind them to see them let it off. While they were still on their way, some impatient character who couldn’t bear to wait any longer put a lighted incense-stick to the touch-paper and lit the fuse. There was a great WHOOSH! and the rocket went off. Everyone burst out laughing and went off home – all except the man who had been underneath, carrying the rocket on his back. He just stood there all on his own, complaining what a rotten job the firework-maker had made of the rocket. He’d put it together so badly, he said, that all the gunpowder had trickled away before they’d had a chance to let it off.’

‘But surely he’d have heard it go off?’ said Xiang-yun.

‘He was stone deaf,’ said Xi-feng.

There was a burst of laughter from her audience. But they were still worried about her earlier story.

‘What about the other one you were telling? What did happen then? You really ought to finish it, you know.’

‘Oh how you do pester one!’ said Xi-feng, thumping the table in pretended annoyance. ‘Next day was the sixteenth; the party was over; the festival had ended. If you ask me, I think they were too busy clearing up and putting things away to know what had happened then.’

This brought another burst of laughter.

‘That’s two o’clock sounding outside,’ said Xi-feng. ‘I’m sure Grannie must be tired. If you ask me, I think we all ought to be like the deaf man’s firework and “trickle away”.’

You-shi, who in the vehemence of her mirth was rocking back and forth with a handkerchief stuffed in her mouth, stopped for a moment to point a minatory finger at Xi-feng:

‘She really is a caution, this one!’

‘She’s a caution all right, and no mistake!’ said Grandmother Jia. ‘By the way, talking of fireworks, why don’t we let ours off now? They will help us to overcome the effects of all that wine.’

At once Jia Rong jumped up and hurried out. Under his supervision a team of pages set up a number of framework stands in the courtyard on which fireworks were then fastened or hung. Though none of them particularly large ones, they were all imported tribute fireworks of the very highest quality. There were fireworks of all sorts, including a number of bangers. Dai-yu, being of a nervous disposition, was terrified of pops and bangs. Knowing this, Grandmother Jia hugged her to her bosom to comfort her. Aunt Xue offered the same protection to Xiang-yun, but Xiang-yun laughed and said that she didn’t mind the fireworks.

‘There’s nothing she likes better than letting them off herself,’ said Bao-chai. ‘She’s not afraid of fireworks!’

Lady Wang hugged Bao-yu.

‘What about me?’ said Xi-feng. ‘Doesn’t anyone love me?’

‘I’ll hold you,’ said You-shi, laughing, ‘– though why you should act the shrinking young thing now I can’t imagine. Normally when you hear fireworks you get so excited I’d sooner eat a bee’s turd than stand by and watch you!’

‘Wait until this is over,’ said Xi-feng. ‘We’ll go out in the courtyard and let some off ourselves. I’m sure I can do it better than these boys.’

While they were speaking, a succession of different sorts of fireworks were going off outside: golden rain, ‘nine dragon’ rockets, thunderflashes, cloud-hoppers, and many other sorts. When the display was over, the boy-actors were asked to go up on the stage again and play the Beggar’s Song, and everyone amused themselves by throwing money onto the stage and watching them scramble for it.

As hot soup was once more being served, Grandmother Jia remarked that after being up for so many hours she was beginning to feel rather empty.

‘We have some duck and rice stew ready,’ Xi-feng told her.

‘I think I’d like something a bit lighter than that,’ said Grandmother Jia.

‘We’ve got a rice and date frumenty that was made for the ladies who don’t eat meat,’ said Xi-feng.

‘That will do,’ said Grandmother Jia.

The used things were removed now from the table and another set of dishes containing all sorts of tempting entremets laid out in their place. When everyone had sampled what they fancied, they rinsed their mouths out with tea supplied for that purpose and the party finally broke up.

Early on the morning of the seventeenth the family paid a formal visit to the Ning-guo mansion to attend the ceremonial closing of the Hall of Ancestors and the taking down and putting away of the ancestral portraits. Later in that day, when they were back at Rong-guo House, they attended a New Year reception by Aunt Xue.

There was no question of another Visitation that year. A Dowager Consort, who had been the late Emperor’s favourite concubine, had fallen seriously ill and the filial feelings of the reigning Emperor had prompted him to curtail all seasonal festivities at the Palace. So from Yuan-chun that year there was not so much as a lantern riddle.

There was, however, during the days which followed, a succession of parties or ‘receptions’ given by the senior domestics of the household, to which the family were, of course, invited: Lai Da’s on the eighteenth, Lai Sheng’s at the Ning-guo mansion on the nineteenth, Lin Zhi-xiao’s on the twentieth, Widow Shan’s on the twenty-first and Wu Xin-deng’s on the twenty-second. Grandmother Jia attended these or not as the fancy took her, sometimes coming at the beginning and staying until all the other guests had gone, sometimes only putting in a brief appearance long after her arrival had been despaired of. But she refused absolutely to turn up when friends or relations were visiting, or to attend the receptions to which they invited her, leaving Lady Xing, Lady Wang and Xi-feng to stand in for her on these occasions. Bao-yu, too – apart from a single duty visit to his uncle Wang Zi-teng’s house – managed to avoid all social gatherings by saying that his grandmother needed him at home to keep her amused.

Then suddenly, when all the festivities were over, an event occurred which filled the whole household with dismay. Xi-feng had a miscarriage.

For further information on this subject you must turn to the following chapter.