第二十四回

第二十四回 万寿山大仙留故友 五庄观行者窃人参

却说那三人穿林入里，只见那呆子绷在树上，声声叫喊，痛苦难禁。行者上前笑道：“好女婿呀！这早晚还不起来谢亲，又不到师父处报喜，还在这里卖解儿[1]耍子哩！——咄！你娘呢？你老婆呢？好个绷巴[2]吊拷的女婿呀！”那呆子见他来抢白，着羞咬着牙、忍着疼，不敢叫喊。沙僧见了，老大[3]不忍，放下行李，上前解了绳索救下。呆子对他们只是磕头礼拜，其实羞耻难当。有《西江月》为证：

色乃伤身之剑，贪之必定遭殃。佳人二八好容妆，更比夜叉凶壮。　只有一个原本，再无微利添囊。好将资本谨收藏，坚守休教放荡。

那八戒撮土焚香，望空礼拜。行者道：“你可认得那些菩萨么？”八戒道：“我已此晕倒昏迷，眼花撩乱，那认得是谁？”行者把那简帖儿递与八戒。八戒见了是颂子，更加惭愧。沙僧笑道：“二哥有这般好处哩，感得四位菩萨来与你做亲！”八戒道：“兄弟再莫题起。不当人子了！从今后，再也不敢妄为。——就是累折骨头，也只是磨肩压担，随师父西域去也。”三藏道：“既如此说才是。”

行者遂领师父上了大路。在路餐风宿水，行罢多时，忽见有高山挡路。三藏勒马停鞭道：“徒弟，前面一山，必须仔细，恐有妖魔作耗[4]，侵害吾党。”行者道：“马前但有我等三人，怕甚妖魔？”因此，长老安心前进。只见那座山，真是好山：

高山峻极，大势峥嵘。根接昆仑脉，顶摩霄汉中。白鹤每来栖桧柏，玄猿时复挂藤萝。日映晴林，叠叠千条红雾绕；风生阴壑，飘飘万道彩云飞。幽鸟乱啼青竹里，锦鸡齐斗野花间。只见那千年峰、五福峰、芙蓉峰，巍巍凛凛放毫光；万岁石、虎牙石、三天石，突突磷磷生瑞气。崖前草秀，岭上梅香。荆棘密森森，芝兰清淡淡。深林鹰凤聚千禽，古洞麒麟辖万兽。涧水有情，曲曲湾湾多绕顾；峰峦不断，重重叠叠自周回。又见那绿的槐，斑的竹，青的松，依依千载斗秾华；白的李，红的桃，翠的柳，灼灼三春争艳丽。龙吟虎啸，鹤舞猿啼。麋鹿从花出，青鸾对日鸣。乃是仙山真福地，蓬莱阆苑只如然。又见些花开花谢山头景，云去云来岭上峰。

三藏在马上欢喜道：“徒弟，我一向西来，经历许多山水，都是那嵯峨险峻之处，更不似此山好景，果然的幽趣非常。若是相近雷音不远路，我们好整肃端严见世尊。”行者笑道：“早哩！早哩！正好不得到哩！”沙僧道：“师兄，我们到雷音有多少远？”行者道：“十万八千里。十停中还不曾走了一停哩。”八戒道：“哥呵，要走几年才得到？”行者道：“这些路，若论二位贤弟，便十来日也可到；若论我走，一日也好走五十遭，还见日色；若论师父走，莫想！莫想！”唐僧道：“悟空，你说得几时方可到？”行者道：“你自小时走到老，老了再小，老小千番也还难；只要你见性志诚，念念回首处，即是灵山。”沙僧道：“师兄，此间虽不是雷音，观此景致，必有个好人居止。”行者道：“此言却当。这里决无邪祟，一定是个圣僧仙辈之乡。我们游玩慢行。”不题。

却说这座山名唤万寿山；山中有一座观，名唤五庄观；观里有一尊仙，道号镇元子，混名与世同君。那观里出一般异宝，乃是混沌初分，鸿濛始判，天地未开之际，产成这颗灵根。盖天下四大部洲，惟西牛贺洲五庄观出此，唤名“草还丹”，又名“人参果”。三千年一开花，三千年一结果，再三千年才得熟，短头一万年方得吃。似这万年，只结得三十个果子。果子的模样，就如三朝未满的小孩相似，手足俱全，五官咸备。人若有缘，得那果子闻了一闻，就活三百六十岁；吃一个，就活四万七千年。

当日镇元大仙得元始天尊的简帖，邀他到上清天上弥罗宫中听讲“混元道果”。大仙门下出的散仙，也不计其数，见如今还有四十八个徒弟，都是得道的全真[5]。当日带领四十六个上界去听讲，留下两个绝小的看家：一个唤做清风，一个唤做明月。清风只有一千三百二十岁，明月才交一千二百岁。镇元子分付二童道：“不可违了大天尊的简帖，要往弥罗宫听讲，你两个在家仔细。不日有一个故人从此经过，却莫怠慢了他。可将我人参果打两个与他吃，权表旧日之情。”二童道：“师父的故人是谁？望说与弟子，好接待。”大仙道：“他是东土大唐驾下的圣僧，道号三藏，今往西天拜佛求经的和尚。”二童笑道：“孔子云：‘道不同，不相为谋。’我等是太乙玄门，怎么与那和尚做甚相识！”大仙道：“你那里得知。那和尚乃金蝉子转生，西方圣老如来佛第二个徒弟。五百年前，我与他在‘兰盆会’上相识，他曾亲手传茶。佛子敬我，故此是为故人也。”

二仙童闻言，谨遵师命。那大仙临行，又叮咛嘱咐道：“我那果子有数，只许与他两个，不得多费。”清风道：“开园时，大众共吃了两个，还有二十八个在树，不敢多费。”大仙道：“唐三藏虽是故人，须要防备他手下人罗唣，不可惊动他知。”二童领命讫，那大仙承众徒弟飞升，竟朝天界。

却说唐僧四众，在山游玩，忽抬头，见那松篁一簇，楼阁数层。唐僧道：“悟空，你看那里是甚么去处？”行者看了道：“那所在，不是观宇，定是寺院。我们走动些，到那厢方知端的。”不一时，来于门首观看，见那：

松坡冷淡，竹径清幽。往来白鹤送浮云，上下猿猴时献果。那门前池宽树影长，石裂苔花破。宫殿森罗紫极高，楼台缥缈丹霞堕。真个是福地灵区，蓬莱云洞。清虚人事少，寂静道心生。青鸟每传王母信，紫鸾常寄老君经。看不尽那巍巍道德之风，果然漠漠神仙之宅。

三藏离鞍下马，又见那山门左边有一通碑，碑上有十个大字，乃是“万寿山福地，五庄观洞天”。长老道：“徒弟，真个是一座观宇。”沙僧道：“师父，观此景鲜明，观里必有好人居住。我们进去看看，若行满东回，此间也是一景。”行者道：“说得好。”遂都一齐进去。又见那二门上有一对春联：

长生不老神仙府，与天同寿道人家。

行者笑道：“这道士说大话唬人。我老孙五百年前大闹天宫时，在那太上老君门首，也不曾见有此话说。”八戒道：“且莫管他，进去！进去！或者这道士有些德行，未可知也。”

及至二层门里，只见那里面，急急忙忙走出两个小童儿来。看他怎生打扮：

骨清神爽容颜丽，顶结丫髻短发鬅[6]。

道服自然襟绕雾，羽衣偏是袖飘风。

环绦紧束龙头结，芒履轻缠蚕口绒。

丰采异常非俗辈，正是那清风明月二仙童。

那童子控背躬身，出来迎接道：“老师父，失迎，请坐。”长老欢喜，遂与二童子上了正殿观看。原来是向南的五间大殿，都是上明下暗的雕花格子。那仙童推开格子，请唐僧入殿，只见那壁中间挂着五彩妆成的“天地”二大字，设一张朱红雕漆的香几，几上有一副黄金炉瓶，炉边有方便整香。

唐僧上前，以左手捻香注炉，三匝礼拜。拜毕，回头道：“仙童，你五庄观真是西方仙界，何不供养三清、四帝、罗天诸宰，只将‘天地’二字侍奉香火？”童子笑道：“不瞒老师说。这两个字，上头的礼上还当，下边的还受不得我们的香火。是家师父谄佞[7]出来的。”三藏道：“何为谄佞？”童子道：“三清是家师的朋友，四帝是家师的故人；九曜是家师的晚辈，元辰是家师的下宾。”

那行者闻言，就笑得打跌。八戒道：“哥啊，你笑怎的？”行者道：“只讲老孙会捣鬼，原来这道童会捆风[8]！”三藏道：“令师何在？”童子道：“家师元始天尊降简请上清天弥罗宫听讲‘混元道果’去了，不在家。”

行者闻言，忍不住喝了一声道：“这个臊道童！人也不认得，你在那个面前捣鬼，扯甚么空心架子！那弥罗宫有谁是太乙天仙？请你这泼牛蹄子去讲甚么！”三藏见他发怒，恐怕那童子回言，斗起祸来，便道：“悟空，且休争竞。我们既进来就出去，显得没了方情[9]。常言道：‘鹭鸶不吃鹭鸶肉[10]。’他师父既是不在，搅扰他做甚？你去山门前放马。沙僧看守行李。教八戒解包袱取些米粮，借他锅灶做顿饭吃，待临行送他几文柴钱便罢了。各依执事，让我在此歇息歇息，饭毕就行。”他三人果各依执事而去。

那明月、清风，暗自夸称不尽道：“好和尚！真个是西方爱圣临凡，真元不昧。师父命我们接待唐僧，将人参果与他吃，以表故旧之情；又教防着他手下人罗唣。果然那三个嘴脸凶顽，性情粗糙。幸得就把他们调开了；若在边前，却不与他人参果见面。”清风道：“兄弟，还不知那和尚可是师父的故人。问他一问看，莫要错了。”二童子又上前道：“启问老师可是大唐往西天取经的唐三藏？”长老回礼道：“贫僧就是。仙童为何知我贱名？”童子道：“我师临行，曾分付教弟子远接。不期车驾来促，有失迎迓。老师请坐，待弟子办茶来奉。”三藏道：“不敢。”那明月急转本房，取一杯香茶，献与长老。茶毕，清风道：“兄弟，不可违了师命，我和你去取果子来。”

二童别了三藏，同到房中，一个拿了金击子，一个拿了丹盘，又多将绿帕垫着盘底，径到人参园内。那清风爬上树去，使金击子敲果；明月在树下，以丹盘等接。须臾，敲下两个果来，接在盘中，径至前殿奉献道：“唐师父，我五庄观土僻山荒，无物可奉，土宜素果二枚，权为解渴。”那长老见了，战战兢兢，远离三尺道：“善哉！善哉！今岁倒也年丰时稔，怎么这观里作荒吃人？这个是三朝未满的孩童，如何与我解渴？”清风暗道：“这和尚在那口舌场中，是非海里，弄得眼肉胎凡，不识我仙家异宝。”明月上前道：“老师，此物叫做‘人参果’，吃一个儿不妨。”三藏道：“胡说！胡说！他那父母怀胎，不知受了多少苦楚。方生下未及三日，怎么就把他拿来当果子？”清风道：“实是树上结的。”长老道：“乱谈！乱谈！树上又会结出人来？拿过去，不当人子！”

那两个童儿，见千推万阻不吃，只得拿着盘子，拿转本房。那果子却也跷蹊，久放不得；若放多时，即僵了，不中吃。二人到于房中，一家一个，坐在床边上，只情吃起。

噫！原来有这般事哩！他那道房，与那厨房紧紧的间壁。这边悄悄的言语，那边即便听见。八戒正在厨房里做饭，先前听见说取金击子，拿丹盘，他已在心；又听见他说，唐僧不认得是人参果，即拿在房里自吃，口里忍不住流涎道：“怎得一个儿尝新！”自家身子又狼犺，不能够得动，只等行者来，与他计较。他在那锅门前，更无心烧火，不时的伸头探脑，出来观看。不多时，行者牵将马来，拴在槐树上，径往后走。那呆子用手乱招道：“这里来！这里来！”行者转身，到于厨房门首，道：“呆子，你嚷甚的？想是饭不够吃。且让老和尚吃饱，我们前边大人家，再化吃去罢。”八戒道：“你进来，不是饭少。这观里有一件宝贝，你可晓得？”行者道：“甚么宝贝？”八戒笑道：“说与你，你不曾见；拿与你，你不认得。”行者道：“这呆子笑话我老孙。老孙五百年前，因访仙道时，也曾云游在海角天涯，那般儿不曾见？”八戒道：“哥啊，人参果你曾见么？”行者惊道：“这个真不曾见。但只常闻得人说，人参果乃是草还丹，人吃了极能延寿。如今那里有得？”八戒道：“他这里有。那童子拿两个与师父吃，那老和尚不认得，道是三朝未满的孩儿，不曾敢吃。那童子老大惫懒——师父既不吃，便该让我们，他就瞒着我们，才自在这隔壁房里，一家一个，啯啅啯啅的吃了出去，就急得我口里水泱[11]。怎么得一个儿尝新？我想你有些溜撒[12]，去他那园子里偷几个来尝尝，如何？”行者道：“这个容易。老孙去，手到擒来。”急抽身，往前就走。八戒一把扯住：“哥呵，我听得他在这房里说，要拿甚么金击子去打哩。须是干得停当[13]，不可走露风声。”行者道：“我晓得，我晓得。”

那大圣使一个隐身法，闪进道房看时，原来那两个道童吃了果子，上殿与唐僧说话，不在房里。行者四下里观看，看有甚么金击子，但只见窗棂上挂着一条赤金：有二尺长短，有指头粗细；底下是一个蒜疙疸的头子；上边有眼，系着一根绿绒绳儿。他道：“想必就是此物叫做击子。”他却取下来，出了道房，径入后边去，推开两扇门，抬头观看，——呀！却是一座花园！但见：

朱栏宝槛，曲砌峰山。奇花与丽日争妍，翠竹共青天斗碧。流杯亭外，一湾绿柳似拖烟；赏月台前，数簇乔松如泼靛。红拂拂，锦巢榴；绿依依，绣墩草。青茸茸，碧砂兰；攸荡荡，临溪水。丹桂映金井梧桐，锦槐傍朱栏玉砌。有或红或白千叶桃，有或香或黄九秋菊。荼架，映着牡丹亭；木槿台，相连芍药圃。看不尽傲霜君子竹，欺雪大夫松。更有那鹤庄鹿宅，方沼圆池；泉流碎玉，地萼堆金。朔风触绽梅花白，春来点破海棠红。——诚所谓人间第一仙景，西方魁首花丛。

那行者观看不尽，又见一层门，推开看处，却是一座菜园：

布种四时蔬菜，菠芹莙荙姜苔。

笋瓜瓠茭白，葱蒜芫荽韭薤。

窝蕖童蒿苦蕒，葫芦茄子须栽。

蔓菁萝卜羊头埋，红苋青菘紫芥。

行者笑道：“他也是个自种自吃的道士。”走过菜园，又见一层门。推开看处，呀！只见那正中间有根大树，真个是青枝馥郁，绿叶阴森，那叶儿却似芭蕉模样，直上去有千尺馀高，根下有七八丈围圆。那行者倚在树下，往上一看，只见向南的枝上，露出一个人参果，真个像孩儿一般。原来尾间上是个扢蒂，看他丁在枝头，手脚乱动，点头幌脑，风过处似乎有声。行者欢喜不尽，暗自夸称道：“好东西呀！果然罕见！果然罕见！”他倚着树，嗖的一声，撺将上去。

那猴子原来第一会爬树偷果子。他把金击子敲了一下，那果子扑的落将下来。他也随跳下来跟寻，寂然不见；四下里草中找寻，更无踪影。行者道：“跷蹊！跷蹊！想是有脚的会走，就是也跳不出墙去。我知道了，想是花园中土地不许老孙偷他果子，他收了去也。”他就捻着诀，念一口“唵”字咒，拘得那花园土地前来，对行者施礼道：“大圣，呼唤小神，有何分付？”行者道：“你不知老孙是盖天下有名的贼头。我当年偷蟠桃、盗御酒、窃灵丹，也不曾有人敢与我分用；怎么今日偷他一果子，你就抽了我的头分[14]去了！这果子是树上结的，空中过鸟也该有分，老孙就吃他一个，有何大害？怎么刚打下来，你就捞了去？”土地道：“大圣，错怪了小神也。这宝贝乃是地仙之物，小神是个鬼仙，怎么敢拿去？只是闻也无福闻闻。”行者道：“你既不曾拿去，如何打下来就不见了？”土地道：“大圣只知这宝贝延寿，更不知他的出处哩。”

行者道：“有甚出处？”土地道：“这宝贝，三千年一开花，三千年一结果，再三千年方得成熟。短头一万年，只结得三十个。有缘的，闻一闻，就活三百六十岁；吃一个，就活四万七千年。却是只与五行相畏。”行者道：“怎么与五行相畏？”土地道：“这果子遇金而落，遇木而枯，遇水而化，遇火而焦，遇土而入。敲时必用金器，方得下来。打下来，却将盘儿用丝帕衬垫方可；若受些木器，就枯了，就吃也不得延寿。吃他须用磁器，清水化开食用，遇火即焦而无用。遇土而入者，大圣方才打落地上，他即钻下土去了。这个土有四万七千年，就是钢钻钻他也钻不动些须，比生铁也还硬三四分。人若吃了，所以长生。大圣不信时，可把这地下打打儿看。”行者即掣金箍棒，筑了一下，响一声，迸起棒来，土上更无痕迹。行者道：“果然！果然！我这棍，打石头如粉碎，撞生铁也有痕。怎么这一下打不伤些儿？这等说，我却错怪了你了，你回去罢。”那土地即回本庙去讫。

大圣却有算计：爬上树，一只手使击子，一只手将锦布直裰的襟儿扯起来，做个兜子等住。他却串枝分叶，敲了三个果，兜在襟中。跳下树，一直前来，径到厨房里去。那八戒笑道：“哥哥，可有么？”行者道：“这不是？老孙的手到擒来。这个果子，也莫背了沙僧，可叫他一声。”八戒招手叫道：“悟净，你来。”那沙僧撇下行李，跑进厨房道：“哥哥，叫我怎的？”行者放开衣兜道：“兄弟，你看这个是甚的东西？”沙僧见了道：“是人参果。”行者道：“好呵！你倒认得。你曾在那里吃过的？”沙僧道：“小弟虽不曾吃，但旧时做卷帘大将，扶侍鸾舆[15]赴蟠桃宴，尝见海外诸仙将此果与王母上寿。见便曾见，却未曾吃。哥哥，可与我些儿尝尝？”行者道：“不消讲，兄弟们一家一个。”

他三人将三个果各各受用。那八戒食肠大，口又大，一则是听见童子吃时，便觉馋虫拱动，却才见了果子，拿过来，张开口，毂辘的吞咽下肚，却白着眼胡赖，向行者、沙僧道：“你两个吃的是甚么？”沙僧道：“人参果。”八戒道：“甚么味道？”行者道：“悟净，不要睬他！你倒先吃了，又来问谁？”八戒道：“哥哥，吃的忙了些，不像你们细嚼细咽，尝出些滋味。我也不知有核无核，就吞下去了。哥啊，为人为彻，你已经调动我这馋虫，再去弄个儿来，老猪细细的吃吃。”行者道：“兄弟，你好不知止足！这个东西，比不得那米食面食，撞着尽饱。像这一万年只结得三十个，我们吃他这一个，也是大有缘法，不等小可。罢罢罢！够了！”他欠起身来，把一个金击子，瞒[16]窗眼儿丢进他道房里，竟不睬他。

那呆子只管絮絮叨叨的唧哝，不期那两个道童复进房来取茶去献，只听得八戒还嚷甚么：“人参果吃得不快活，再得一个儿吃吃才好。”清风听见，心疑道：“明月，你听那长嘴和尚讲‘人参果还要个吃吃’。师父别时叮咛，教防他手下人罗唣，莫敢是他偷了我们宝贝么？”明月回头道：“哥耶，不好了！不好了！金击子如何落在地下！我们去园里看看来！”他两个急急忙忙的走去，只见花园开了。清风道：“这门是我关的，如何开了？”又急转过花园，只见菜园门也开了。忙入人参园里，倚在树下，望上查数；颠倒来往，只得二十二个。明月道：“你可会算帐？”清风道：“我会，你说将来。”明月道：“果子原是三十个。师父开园，分吃了两个，还有二十八个；适才打两个与唐僧吃，还有二十六个；如今止剩得二十二个，却不少了四个？不消讲，不消讲，是那伙恶人偷了，我们只骂唐僧去来。”

两个出了园门，径来殿上，指着唐僧，秃前秃后，秽语污言，不绝口的乱骂；贼头鼠脑，臭短臊长，没好气的胡嚷。唐僧听不过，道：“仙童啊，你闹的是甚么？消停些儿，有话慢说不妨，不要胡说散道的。”清风说：“你的耳聋？我是蛮话，你不省得？你偷吃了人参果，怎么不容我说？”唐僧道：“人参果怎么模样？”明月道：“才拿来与你吃，你说像孩童的不是？”唐僧道：“阿弥陀佛！那东西我见我就心惊胆战，还敢偷他吃哩！就是害了馋痞，也不敢干这贼事。不要错怪了人。”清风道：“你虽不曾吃，还有手下人要偷吃的哩。”三藏道：“这等也说得是。你且莫嚷，等我问他们看。果若是偷了，教他赔你。”明月道：“赔呀！就有钱那里去买！”三藏道：“纵有钱没处买呵，常言道：‘仁义值千金。’教他陪你个礼，便罢了。——也还不知是他不是他哩。”明月道：“怎的不是他？他那里分不均，还在那里嚷哩。”三藏叫声：“徒弟，且都来。”沙僧听见道：“不好了！决撒[17]了！老师父叫我们，小道童胡厮骂，不是旧话儿‘走了风’，却是甚的！”行者道：“活羞杀人！这个不过是饮食之类！若说出来，就是我们偷嘴了，只是莫认。”八戒道：“正是，正是，昧了罢。”他三人只得出了厨房，走上殿去。毕竟不知怎么与他抵赖，且听下回分解。

[1] 卖解儿：古时称杂技演员做杂戏为“卖解”，如跑马卖解之类。

[2] 绷巴：捆绑方法之一。

[3] 老大：实在。

[4] 作耗：指妖物作乱害人。

[5] 全真：道教的一个派别，这里即指道士。

[6] 鬅（pénɡ）：同“蓬”。形容头发散乱。

[7] 谄佞：阿谀逢迎。这里指无原则的谦敬。

[8] 捆风：指扯谎、说瞎话。

[9] 方情：佛教徒称跟十方人（指各界人士）的交情。

[10] 鹭鸶不吃鹭鸶肉：意为同类不相伤害。

[11] 泱：流，淌。

[12] 溜撒：灵活、麻利。

[13] 停当：妥贴，妥当。

[14] 头分：指赌场主人按一定比例从赢家的钱中抽取的服务费。这种行为叫“抽头分”或“抽头”。

[15] 鸾舆：帝王乘座的车，也用来指帝王本人。

[16] 瞒：同“漫”。顺着，沿着。

[17] 决撒：这里作败露、揭穿、坏事解释。

CHAPTER 24. At Long Life Mountain the Great Immortal detains his old friend; At Five Villages Abbey, Pilgrim steals the ginseng1 fruit.

We shall tell you about the three of them who, on entering the forest, found Idiot tied to a tree. He was screaming continuously because of the unbearable pain. Pilgrim approached and said to him, laughing, “Dear son-in-law! It’s getting rather late, and you still haven’t got around to performing the proper ceremony of thanking your parents or announcing your marriage to Master. You are still having a grand old time playing games here! Hey! Where’s your mama? Where’s your wife? What a dear son-in-law, all bound and beaten!” When Idiot heard such ridicule, he was so mortified that he clenched his teeth to try to endure the pain without making any more noise. Sha Monk, however, could not bear to look at him; he put down the luggage and went forward to untie the ropes. After he was freed, Idiot could only drop to his knees and kowtow toward the sky, for he was filled with shame. For him we have as a testimony this lyric to the tune of “Moon Over West River”:

Eros is a sword injurious:

Live by it and you will be slain.

The lady so fair and lovely at sixteen

Is more vicious than a yakṣa!

You have but one principal sum;

You can’t add profit to your purse.

Guard and keep well your precious capital,

Which you must not squander and waste.

Scooping up some dirt and scattering it like incense, Eight Rules bowed to the sky. “Did you recognize those bodhisattvas at all?” asked Pilgrim. “I was in a stupor, about to faint,” replied Eight Rules. “How could I recognize anyone?” Pilgrim then handed him the slip of paper. When Eight Rules saw the gāthā, he was more embarrassed than ever. “Second Brother does have all the luck,” said Sha Monk with a laugh, “for you have attracted these four bodhisattvas here to become your wives!” “Brother,” said Eight Rules, “let’s not ever mention that again! It’s blasphemy! From now on, I’ll never dare do such foolish things again. Even if it breaks my bones, I’ll carry the pole and luggage to follow Master to the West.” “You are finally speaking sensibly,” said Tripitaka.

Pilgrim then led his master up the main road, and after journeying for a long time, they suddenly came upon a tall mountain. Pulling in the reins, Tripitaka said, “Disciples, let’s be careful as we travel up this mountain before us, for there may be monsters seeking to harm us.” “Ahead of your horse you have the three of us,” said Pilgrim. “Why fear the monsters?” Reassured by these words, the elder proceeded. That mountain is truly a magnificent mountain:

A tall mountain most rugged,

Its shape both lofty and grand.

Its root joins the Kunlun2 ranges;

Its top reaches to the sky.

White cranes come oft to perch on junipers;

Black apes hang frequently on the vines.

As the sun lights up the forest,

Strands upon strands of red mist are circling;

As wind rises from dark gorges,

Ten thousand pink cloud pieces soar and fly.

Hidden birds sing madly in green bamboos;

Pheasants do battle amidst wildflowers.

You see that Thousand-Year Peak,

That Five-Blessings3 Peak,

And the Hibiscus Peak—

They all glow and shimmer most awesomely;

That Ageless Rock,

That Tiger-Tooth Rock,

And that Three-Heaven Rock—

Where auspicious air rises endlessly.

Below the cliff, delicate grass;

Atop the ridge, fragrant plum.

The thorns and briars are thick;

The orchids are pale and pure.

The deep woods’s phoenix musters a thousand fowls;

An old cave’s unicorn rules countless beasts.

Even the brook seems caring:

She twists and turns as if looking back.

The peaks are continuous:

Row upon row circling all around.

You also see those green locust trees,4

Those mottled bamboos,

And those verdant pines—

Rivals ever fresh in their dense lushness;

Those pears milk-white,

Those peaches red,

And those willows green—

All competing in their Triple-Spring hues.

Dragons sing and tigers roar;

The cranes dance and the apes wail;

The musk deer from flowers walk out;

The phoenix cries facing the sun.

It’s a mount divine, land of true blessings,

The same as Penglai, wondrous fairy land.

See those flowers blooming and dying—this mountain scene,

Where clouds draw near or leave the soaring peaks.

With great delight, Tripitaka said as he rode along, “Disciples, since I began this journey to the West, I have passed through many regions, all rather treacherous and difficult to traverse. None of the other places has scenery like this mountain, which is extraordinarily beautiful. Perhaps we are not far from Thunderclap, and, if so, we should prepare in a dignified and solemn manner to meet the World’s Honored One.”

“It’s early, much too early!” said Pilgrim, laughing. “We are nowhere near!”

“Elder Brother,” said Sha Monk, “how far is it for us to reach Thunderclap?”

“One hundred and eight thousand miles,” said Pilgrim, “and we have not even covered one-tenth of the distance.”

“Elder Brother,” said Eight Rules, “how many years do we have to travel before we get there?”

“If we were talking about you two, my worthy brothers,” said Pilgrim, “this journey would take some ten days. If we were talking about me, I could probably make about fifty round trips in a day and there would still be sunlight. But if we are talking about Master, then don’t even think about it!” “Wukong,” said the Tang Monk, “tell us when we shall be able to reach our destination.”

Pilgrim said, “You can walk from the time of your youth till the time you grow old, and after that, till you become youthful again; and even after going through such a cycle a thousand times, you may still find it difficult to reach the place you want to go to. But when you perceive, by the resoluteness of your will, the Buddha-nature in all things, and when every one of your thoughts goes back to its very source in your memory, that will be the time you arrive at the Spirit Mountain.”

“Elder Brother,” said Sha Monk, “even though this is not the region of Thunderclap, a place of such scenic splendor must be the residence of a good man.” “That’s an appropriate observation,” said Pilgrim, “for this can hardly be a place for demons or goblins; rather, it must be the home of a holy monk or an immortal. We can walk leisurely and enjoy the scenery.” We shall say no more about them for the time being.

We now tell you about this mountain, which had the name of the Long Life Mountain. In the mountain there was a Daoist Abbey called the Five Villages Abbey; it was the abode of an immortal whose Daoist style was Master Zhenyuan5 and whose nickname was Lord, Equal to Earth. There was, moreover, a strange treasure grown in this temple, a spiritual root that was formed just after chaos had been parted and the nebula had been established prior to the division of Heaven and Earth. Throughout the four great continents of the world, it could be found in only the Five Villages Abbey in the West Aparagodānīya Continent. This treasure was called grass of the reverted cinnabar,6 or the ginseng fruit. It took three thousand years for the plant to bloom, another three thousand years to bear fruit, and still another three thousand years before they ripened. All in all, it would be nearly ten thousand years before they could be eaten, and even after such a long time, there would be only thirty such fruits. The shape of the fruit was exactly that of a newborn infant not yet three days old, complete with the four limbs and the five senses. If a man had the good fortune of even smelling the fruit, he would live for three hundred and sixty years; if he ate one, he would reach his forty-seven thousandth year.

That day, the Great Zhenyuan Immortal happened to have received a card from the Celestial Worthy of Original Commencement, who invited him to the Miluo Palace in the Heaven of Highest Clarity to listen to the discourse on “The Daoist Fruit of the Chaotic Origin.” That Great Immortal, you see, had already trained countless disciples to become immortals; even now he had with him some forty-eight disciples, all Daoists of the Quanzhen Order who had acquired the Way. When he went up to the region above to listen to the lecture that day, he took forty-six disciples along with him, leaving behind two of the youngest ones to look after the temple. One was called Clear Breeze, and the other was named Bright Moon. Clear Breeze was only one thousand two hundred and twenty years old, while Bright Moon had just passed his one thousand two hundredth birthday. Before his departure, Master Zhenyuan gave instructions to the two young lads, saying, “I cannot refuse the invitation of the Great Honorable Divine, and I’m leaving for the Miluo Palace to attend a lecture. You two must be watchful, for an old friend of mine will be passing by here any day. Don’t fail to treat him kindly: you may, in fact, strike down from the tree two of the ginseng fruits for him to eat as a token of our past friendship.”

“Who is this friend of yours, Master?” asked one of the lads. “Tell us, so that we may take good care of him.” “He is a holy monk serving the Great Tang Emperor in the land of the East,” said the Great Immortal, “and his religious name is Tripitaka. He is now on his way to the Western Heaven to acquire scriptures from Buddha.”

“According to Confucius,” said one of the lads, laughing, “‘One does not take counsel with those who follow a different Way.’7 We belong to the Mysterious Fold of the Great Monad. Why should we associate with a Buddhist monk?”

“You should know,” said the Great Immortal, “that that monk happens to be the incarnate Gold Cicada, the second disciple of Tathāgata, the Aged Sage of the West. Five hundred years ago, I became acquainted with him during the Feast of the Ullambana Bowl, when he presented me tea with his own hands as the various sons of Buddha paid me their respect. That’s why I consider him an old friend.” When the two immortal lads heard these words, they accepted them as the instruction of their master. As the Great Immortal was about to leave, he cautioned them again, saying, “Those fruits of mine are all numbered. You may give him two, but no more.” “When the garden was opened to the public,” said Clear Breeze, “we shared and ate two of the fruits; there should be still twenty-eight of them on the tree. We wouldn’t think of using any more than you have told us to.” The Great Immortal said, “Though Tripitaka Tang is an old friend, his disciples, I fear, may be somewhat rowdy. It’s best not to let them know about the fruits.” After he had finished giving these instructions to the two lads, the Great Immortal ascended to the region of Heaven with all his disciples.

We tell you now about the Tang Monk and his three companions, who were making a tour of the mountain. Looking up, they suddenly discovered several tall buildings by a cluster of pines and bamboos. “Wukong,” said the Tang Monk, “what sort of place do you think that is over there?” After taking a look at it, Pilgrim said, “It’s either a Daoist abbey or a Buddhist monastery. Let’s move along, and we’ll find out more about it when we get there.” They soon arrived at the gate, and they saw

A pine knoll cool and serene;

A bamboo path dark and secluded;

White cranes coming and leaving with clouds afloat;

And apes climbing up and down to hand out fruits.

Before the gate, the pond’s wide and trees cast long shadows;

The rocks crack, breaking the moss’s growth.

Palatial halls dark and tall as the purple Heaven;

And towers aloft from which bright red mists descend.

Truly a blessed region, a spiritual place

Like the cloudy cave of Penglai:

Quiet, untouched by the affairs of man;

Tranquil, fit to nurse the mind of Dao.

Bluebirds may bring at times a Queen Mother’s note;

A phoenix oft arrives with a Laozi scroll.

There’s no end to the sight of this noble Daoist scene:

It’s the spacious home of immortals indeed!

As the Tang Monk dismounted, he saw on the left a huge stone tablet, on which the following inscription was written in large letters:

The Blessed Land of the Long Life Mountain.

The Cave Heaven of the Five Villages Abbey.

“Disciples,” said the Elder, “it’s indeed a Daoist abbey.” “Master,” said Sha Monk, “with such splendid scenery, there must be a good man living in this temple. Let us go in and take a look. When we return to the East after completing our merits, this may be the place for another visit because of its marvelous scenery.” “Well spoken,” said Pilgrim, and they all went inside. On both sides of the second gate they saw this New Year couplet:

Long-living and ever young, this immortal house.

Of the same age as Heaven, this Daoist home.

Pilgrim said with a snicker, “This Daoist is mouthing big words just to intimidate people! When I, old Monkey, caused disturbance in the Heavenly Palace five hundred years ago, I did not encounter such words even on the door of Laozi!” “Never mind him!” said Eight Rules. “Let’s go inside! Let’s go inside! You never know, maybe this Daoist does possess some virtuous accomplishment.”

When they passed through the second gate, they were met by two young lads who were hurrying out. Look how they appear:

Healthy in bone and spirit with visage fair,

On their heads were short bundled tufts of hair.

Their Daoist gowns, free falling, seemed wrapped in mists;

Their feathered robes, more quaint, for the wind-blown sleeves.

Dragon-heads had their sashes knotted tight;

Silk cords laced lightly their sandals of straw.

Such uncommon looks were of no worldly-born;

They were Clear Breeze and Bright Moon, two lads divine.

The two young lads came out to meet them, bowing and saying, “Old Master, forgive us for not coming to meet you. Please take a seat.” Delighted, the elder followed the two lads to the main hall to look around. There were altogether five huge chambers facing south, separated by floor-length windows that had carved panes and were translucent at the top and solid at the bottom. Pushing open one of these, the two immortal lads invited the Tang Monk into the central chamber, with a panel hanging on the middle wall on which two large characters—“Heaven, Earth”—were embroidered in five colors. Beneath the panel was a cinnabar-red lacquered incense table, on which there was an urn of yellow gold. Conveniently placed beside the urn were several sticks of incense.

The Tang Monk went forward and with his left hand, took up some incense to put into the urn. He then prostrated himself three times before the table, after which he turned around and said, “Immortal lads, your Five Villages Abbey is in truth a godly region of the West. But why is it that you do not worship the Three Pure Ones, the Thearchs of Four Quarters, or the many Lords of High Heaven? Why is it that you merely put up these two words of Heaven and Earth to receive the oblation of fire and incense?” Smiling, one of the lads said, “To tell you the truth, Master, putting these two words up is an act of flattery on the part of our teacher, for of these two words, the one on top,8 may deserve our reverence, but the one below is hardly worthy of our fire and incense.” “What do you mean by an act of flattery?” asked Tripitaka. The lad replied, “The Three Pure Ones are friends of our teacher; the Four Thearchs, his old acquaintances; the Nine Luminaries, his junior colleagues; and the God of the New Year, his unwanted guest!”

When Pilgrim heard this remark, he laughed so hard that he could barely stand up. “Elder Brother,” said Eight Rules, “why are you laughing?” “Talk about the shenanigans of old Monkey!” said Pilgrim. “Just listen to the flimflam of this Daoist kid!” “Where is your honorable teacher?” asked Tripitaka. “Our teacher,” said the lad, “had been invited by the Honorable Divine of the Origin to attend a lecture on ‘The Daoist Fruit of the Chaotic Origin’ at the Miluo Palace in the Heaven of Highest Clarity. He’s not home.”

No longer able to restrain himself after hearing these words, Pilgrim shouted: “You stinking young Daoists! You can’t even recognize people! Whom are you trying to hoodwink? What kind of taradiddle is this? Who is that Heavenly Immortal in the Miluo Palace who wanted to invite this wild bull shank of yours? And what sort of lecture is he going to give?” When Tripitaka saw how aroused Pilgrim was, he feared that the lads might give some reply that would lead to real trouble. So he said, “Wukong, stop being quarrelsome. If we leave this place the moment after we arrive, it is hardly a friendly gesture. The proverb says, ‘The egrets do not devour the egret’s flesh.’ If their teacher is not here, why bother them? You go to graze the horse outside the temple gate; let Sha Monk look after the luggage and Eight Rules fetch some grain from our bags. Let’s borrow their pans and stove to prepare a meal for ourselves. When we are done, we can pay them a few pennies for firewood and that will be the end of the matter. Attend to your business, each of you, and let me rest here for a while. After the meal, we’ll leave.” The three of them duly went about their business.

Clear Breeze and Bright Moon, filled with admiration, said softly to each other: “What a monk! Truly the incarnation of a lovable sage of the West, whose true origin is not at all obscured! Well, our master did tell us to take care of the Tang Monk and to serve him some ginseng fruits as a token of past friendship. He also cautioned us about the rowdiness of his disciples, and he couldn’t have been more correct. It’s a good thing that those three, so fierce in their looks and so churlish in their manners, were sent away. For had they remained, they would certainly have to see the ginseng fruits.” Then Clear Breeze said, “Brother, we are still not quite certain whether that monk is really an old acquaintance of Master. We had better ask him and not make a mistake.” The two lads therefore went forward again and said, “May we ask the old master whether he is Tripitaka Tang from the Great Tang Empire, who is on his way to fetch scriptures from the Western Heaven?” Returning their bows, the elder said, “I am, indeed. How is it that the immortal youths know my vulgar name?” “Before our master’s departure,” said one of them,” he gave us instructions that we should go some distance to meet you. We did not expect your arrival to be so soon, and thus we failed in the proper etiquette of greeting you. Please take a seat, Master, and allow us to serve you tea.” “I hardly deserve that,” said Tripitaka, but Bright Moon went quickly back to his room and brought back a cup of fragrant tea to present to the elder. After Tripitaka had drunk the tea, Clear Breeze said, “Brother, we must not disobey our master’s command. Let’s go and bring back the fruit.”

The two lads took leave of Tripitaka and went back to their room, where one of them took out a gold mallet and the other a wooden tray for carrying elixir. They also spread out several silk handkerchiefs on the tray before going to the Ginseng Garden. Clear Breeze then climbed on the tree to strike at the fruits with the mallet, while Bright Moon waited below, holding the tray. In a moment, two of the fruits dropped down and fell onto the tray. The young lads returned to the main hall and presented the fruits to the Tang Monk, saying, “Master Tang, our Five Villages Abbey is situated in the midst of wild and desolate country. There’s not much that we can offer you except these two fruits, our local products. Please use them to relieve your thirst.” When the elder saw the fruits, he trembled all over and backed away three feet, saying, “Goodness! Goodness! The harvest seems to be plentiful this year! But why is this abbey so destitute that they have to practice cannibalism here? These are newborn infants not yet three days old! How could you serve them to me to relieve my thirst?”

“This monk,” said Clear Breeze quietly to himself, “has been so corrupted by the fields of mouths and tongues, by the sea of strife and envy, that all he possesses are but two fleshly eyes and a worldly mind. That’s why he can’t recognize the strange treasures of our divine abode!” Bright Moon then drew near and said, “Master, this thing is called ginseng fruit. It’s perfectly all right for you to eat one.” “Nonsense! Nonsense!” said Tripitaka. “Their parents went through who knows how much suffering before they brought them to birth! How could you serve them as fruits when they are less than three days old?” Clear Breeze said, “Honestly, they were formed on a tree.” “Rubbish! Rubbish!” said the elder. “How can people grow on trees? Take them away! This is blasphemy!” When the young lads saw that he absolutely refused to eat them, they had no choice but to take the tray back to their own room. The fruit, you see, is peculiar: if it is kept too long, it will become stiff and inedible. So, when the two of them reached their room, they each took one of the fruits and began to eat them, sitting on the edge of their beds.

Alas, now this is what has to happen! That chamber of theirs, you see, was immediately adjacent to the kitchen; joined, in fact, by a common wall. Even the whispered words from one room could be heard in the other, and Eight Rules was busily cooking rice in the kitchen. All that talk, moments before, about taking the golden mallet and the elixir tray had already caught his attention. Then, when he heard how the Tang Monk could not recognize ginseng fruits that were served him, and how they had to be eaten by the young lads in their own room, he could not stop his mouth watering, and said to himself, “How can I try one myself?” Since he himself was reluctant to do anything, he decided to wait for Pilgrim’s arrival so that they could plan something together. Completely distracted by now from tending the fire in the stove, he kept sticking his head out of the door to watch for Pilgrim. In a little while, he saw Pilgrim arrive, leading the horse. Having tied the horse to a locust tree, Pilgrim started to walk toward the rear, when Idiot waved to him madly with his hands, crying, “Come this way! Come this way!” Pilgrim turned around and went to the door of the kitchen, saying, “Idiot, why are you yelling? Not enough rice, perhaps? Let the old monk have his fill first, and we can beg more rice from some big household along our way.”

“Come in,” said Eight Rules. “This has nothing to do with the amount of rice we have. There’s a treasure in this Daoist temple. Did you know that?”

“What kind of treasure?” asked Pilgrim.

“I can tell you,” said Eight Rules with a laugh, “but you have never seen it; I can put it before you, but you won’t recognize it.” “You must be joking, Idiot,” said Pilgrim. “Five hundred years ago, when I, old Monkey, searched for the Way of Immortality, I went all the way to the corner of the ocean and the edge of the sky. What can there be that I have never seen?”

“Elder Brother,” said Eight Rules, “have you ever seen the ginseng fruit?” Somewhat startled, Pilgrim said, “That I really have never seen! But I have heard that ginseng fruit is the grass of the reverted cinnabar. When a man eats it, his life will be prolonged. But where can one get ahold of it?” “They have it here,” said Eight Rules. “The two lads brought two of these fruits for Master to eat, but that old monk could not recognize them for what they were. He said that they were infants not yet three days old and dared not eat them. The lads themselves were quite disobliging; if Master would not eat, they should have given them to us. Instead, they hid them from us. Just now in the room next door, each had a fruit to himself and finished it with great relish. I got so excited that I was drooling, wondering how I could have a taste of this fruit. I know you are quite tricky. How about going to their garden and stealing a few for us to have a taste of them?”

“That’s easy,” said Pilgrim. “Old Monkey will go, and they will be at the reach of his hands!” He turned quickly and began to walk to the front. Eight Rules caught hold of him and said, “Elder Brother, I heard them talking in the room, and they mentioned something about using a gold mallet to knock down the fruits. You must do it properly, and without being detected.” “I know! I know!” exclaimed Pilgrim.

Our Great Sage used the magic of body concealment and stole into the Daoist chamber. The two Daoist lads, you see, were not in the room, for they had gone back to the main hall to speak to the Tang Monk after they had finished eating the fruits. Pilgrim looked everywhere for the gold mallet and discovered a stick of red gold hanging on the window pane: it was about two feet long and as thick as a finger. At the lower end there was a knob about the size of a clove of garlic, while the upper end had a hole through which a green woolen thread was fastened. He said to himself: “This must be the thing called the gold mallet.” Taking it down, he left the Daoist chamber, went to the rear, and pushed through a double-leaf door to have a look. Ah, it was a garden! You see

Vermilion fences and carved railings;

Artificial hills ruggedly built.

Strange flowers rival the sun in brightness;

Bamboos match well the clear sky in blueness.

Beyond the flowing-cup pavilion,

One curvate band of willows like mists outspread;

Before the moon-gazing terrace,

Bands of choice pines like spilled indigo.

Shining red,

Pomegranates with brocade-like sacs;

Fresh, tender green,

Grass by the ornamental stools;

Luxuriant blue,

Sand-orchids like jade;

Limpid and smooth,

The water in the brook.

The cassia glows with the wutong by the golden well; 9

The locust trees stand near the red fences and marble steps.

Some red and some white: peaches with a thousand leaves;

Some fragrant and some yellow: chrysanthemums of late fall.

The rush-flower supports

Complement the peony pavilion;

The hibiscus terrace

Connects with the peony plot.

There are countless princely bamboos that mock the frost,

And noble pines that defy the snow.

There are, moreover, crane hamlets and deer homes,

The square pool and the round pond.

The stream spills chips of jade;

The ground sprouts mounds of gold.

The winter wind cracks and whitens the plum blossoms;

A touch of spring breaks open the begonia’s red.

Truly it may be called the best fairy land on Earth,

The finest floral site of the West.

Pilgrim could not take his eyes off this marvelous place. He came upon another door that he pushed open and found inside a vegetable garden,

Planted with the herbs of all four seasons:

Spinach, celery, mare’s tail,10 beet, ginger, and seaweed;

Bamboo shoot, melon, squash, and watercress;

Chive, garlic, coriander, leek, and scallion;

Hollow water-lotus, young celery, and bitter su;11

The gourd and the eggplant that must be trimmed;

Green turnip, white turnip, and taro deep in the earth;

Red spinach, green cabbage, and purple mustard plant.12

Pilgrim smiled to himself and said, “So he’s a Daoist who eats his homegrown food!”

He walked past the vegetable garden and found another door, which he pushed open also. Ah! There was a huge tree right in the middle of the garden, with long, healthy branches and luxuriant green leaves that somewhat resembled those of the plantain. Soaring straight up, the tree was over a thousand feet tall, and its base must have measured sixty or seventy feet around. Leaning on the tree, Pilgrim looked up and found one ginseng fruit sticking out on one of the branches pointing southward. It certainly had the appearance of an infant with a tail-like peduncle. Look at it dangling from the end of the branch, with limbs moving wildly and head bobbing madly! It seemed to make sounds as it swung in the breeze. Filled with admiration and delight, Pilgrim said to himself, “What a marvelous thing! It’s rarely seen! It’s rarely seen!” With a swish, he vaulted up the tree.

The monkey, you see, was an expert in climbing trees and stealing fruits. He took the gold mallet and struck lightly at the fruit, which dropped at once from the branch. Pilgrim leaped down after it but the fruit was nowhere to be seen. Though he searched for it all over the grass, there was not a trace of it. “Strange! Strange!” said Pilgrim. “I suppose it could walk with its legs, but even so, it could hardly have jumped across the wall. I know! It must be the local spirit of this garden who will not allow me to steal the fruit; he must have taken it.” Making the magic sign and reciting a spell that began with the letter om, he summoned the local spirit of the garden, who came bowing to Pilgrim and said, “Great Sage, what sort of instructions do you have for this humble deity?”

“Don’t you know,” said Pilgrim, “that old Monkey happens to be the world’s most famous thief? When I stole the immortal peaches, the imperial wine, and the efficacious pills that year, there was no one brave enough to share the spoils with me. How is it, therefore, when I steal just one of their fruits today, that you have the gall to snatch away the prime portion? Since these fruits are formed on a tree, I suppose even the fowls of the air may partake of them. What’s wrong with my eating one of them? How dare you grab it the moment I knock it down?” “Great Sage,” said the local spirit, “you have made a mistake in blaming me. This treasure is something that belongs to an earthbound immortal, whereas I am only a ghost immortal.13 Would I dare take it? I don’t even have the good fortune to smell it!”

“If you hadn’t snatched it,” said Pilgrim, “why did it disappear the moment it fell?” “You may know only about its power to prolong life, Great Sage,” said the local spirit, “but you don’t know its background.”

“What do you mean by background?” said Pilgrim. “This treasure,” said the local spirit, “will bloom only once in three thousand years; it will bear fruit after another three thousand years; and the fruit won’t ripen for yet another three thousand years. All in all, one must wait for almost ten thousand years before there are thirty of these fruits. A person lucky enough to smell it once will live for three hundred and sixty years; if he eats one, he will live for forty-seven thousand years. However, the fruit is resistant to the Five Phases.” “What do you mean by resistant to the Five Phases?” asked Pilgrim. The local spirit replied, “This fruit will fall when it encounters gold; it will wither when it encounters wood; it will melt when it encounters water; it will dry up if it encounters fire; and it will be assimilated if it encounters earth. That is why one has to use an instrument of gold to knock it down, but when it falls, it has to be held by a tray cushioned with silk handkerchiefs. The moment it touches wood, it will wither and will not prolong life even if it’s eaten. When it is eaten, it should be held in a porcelain container and should be dissolved with water. Again, fire will dry it up and it will be useless. Finally, what is meant by its assimilation into earth may be illustrated by what happened just now, for when you knocked it down, it at once crawled into the ground. This part of the garden will last for at least forty-seven thousand years. Even a steel pick will not be able to bore through it, for it is three or four times harder than raw iron. That is why a man will live long if he eats one of the fruits. If you don’t believe me, Great Sage, strike at the ground and see for yourself.” Whipping out his golden-hooped rod, Pilgrim gave the ground a terriffic blow. The rod rebounded at once, but there was not the slightest mark on the ground. “Indeed! Indeed!” said Pilgrim. “This rod of mine can turn a boulder into powder; it will leave its mark even on raw iron. How is it that there’s not even a scratch on the ground? Well, in that case, I have made a mistake in blaming you. You may go back.”14 The local spirit thus went back to his own shrine.

The Great Sage, however, had his own plan: after climbing up on the tree, he held the golden mallet in one hand and, with the other, pulled up the front of his silk shirt to make a little sack. Parting the leaves and branches, he knocked three of the fruits into the sack. He jumped down from the tree and ran straight to the kitchen. “Elder Brother,” said Eight Rules smiling, “do you have them?” “Aren’t these the ones?” said Pilgrim. “I reached and took, that’s all! But we shouldn’t let Sha Monk pass up the chance of tasting this fruit. You call him.” Eight Rules waved his hands and cried, “Wujing, come!” Setting down the luggage, Sha Monk ran into the kitchen and said, “Elder Brother, why did you call me?” Opening the sack, Pilgrim said, “Brother, take a look. What are these?” When Sha Monk saw them, he said, “Ginseng fruits.” “Fine!” said Pilgrim. “So, you recognize them! Where did you taste them before?” “I have never tasted the fruit before,” said Sha Monk. “But when I was the Curtain-Raising Captain, I waited on the Throne to attend the Festival of Immortal Peaches, and I once saw many immortals from beyond the sea presenting this fruit to the Lady Queen Mother as a birthday gift. So I have seen it, but I have never tasted it. Elder Brother, will you let me try a little?” “No need to say anymore,” said Pilgrim. “There’s one for each of us brothers.”

The three of them took the fruits and began to enjoy them. That Eight Rules, of course, had a huge appetite and a huge mouth. When he heard the conversation of the young lads earlier, he already felt ravenous. The moment he saw the fruit, therefore, he grabbed it and, with one gulp, swallowed it whole. Then he rolled up his eyes and said in a roguish manner to Pilgrim and Sha Monk, “What are you two eating?” “Ginseng fruit,” said Sha Monk. “How does it taste?” asked Eight Rules. “Wujing,” said Pilgrim, “don’t listen to him. He ate it first. Why all these questions now?” “Elder Brother,” said Eight Rules, “I ate it somewhat too hurriedly, not as the two of you are doing, mincing and munching little by little to discover its taste. I swallowed it without even knowing whether it had a pit or not! Elder Brother, if you are helping someone, help him to the end. You have roused the worms in my stomach! Please fetch me another fruit so that I can take time to enjoy it.” “Brother,” said Pilgrim, “you really don’t know when to stop! This thing here is not like rice or noodles, food to stuff yourself with. There are only thirty such fruits in ten thousand years! It’s our great fortune to have eaten one already, and you should not regard this lightly. Stop now! It’s enough.” He stretched himself and threw the gold mallet into the adjacent room through a little hole on the window paper without saying anything more to Eight Rules.

Idiot, however, kept muttering and mumbling to himself. When the two Daoist lads unexpectedly came back to the room to fetch some tea for the Tang Monk, they heard Eight Rules complaining about “not enjoying my ginseng fruit,” and saying that it would be much better if he could have a taste of another one. Hearing this, Clear Breeze grew suspicious and said, “Bright Moon, listen to that monk with the long snout; he said he wanted to eat another ginseng fruit. Before our master’s departure, he told us to be wary of their mischief. Could it be that they have stolen our treasures?” Turning around, Bright Moon said, “Elder Brother, it looks bad, very bad! Why has the golden mallet fallen to the ground? Let’s go into the garden to take a look.” They ran hastily to the back and found the door to the flower garden open. “I closed this door myself,” said Clear Breeze. “Why is it open?” They ran past the flower garden and saw that the door to the vegetable garden was also open. They dashed into the ginseng garden; running up to the tree, they started to count, staring upward. Back and forth they counted, but they could find only twenty-two of the fruits. “You know how to do accounting?” asked Bright Moon. “I do,” said Clear Breeze, “give me the figures!” “There were originally thirty fruits,” said Bright Moon. “When Master opened the garden to the public, he divided two of them for all of us, so that twenty-eight fruits were left. Just now we knocked down two more for the Tang Monk, leaving twenty-six behind. Now we have only twenty-two left. Doesn’t that mean that four are missing? No need for further explanation; they must have been stolen by that bunch of rogues. Let’s go and chide the Tang Monk.”

The two of them went out of the garden gate and came directly back to the main hall. Pointing their fingers at the Tang Monk, they berated him with all kinds of foul and abusive language, accusing him of being a larcenous baldhead and a thievish rat. They went on like this for a long time, until finally the Tang Monk could not endure it any longer. “Divine lads,” he said, “why are you making all this fuss? Be quiet a moment. If you have something to say, say it slowly, but don’t use such nonsensical language.” “Are you deaf?” asked Clear Breeze. “Am I speaking in a barbarian tongue that you can’t understand? You stole and ate our ginseng fruits. Do you now forbid me to say so?” “What is a ginseng fruit like?” asked the Tang Monk. “Like an infant,” said Bright Moon, “as you said when we brought two of them for you to eat just now.” “Amitābha Buddha!” exclaimed the Tang Monk. “I only had to take one look at that thing and I trembled all over! You think I would dare steal one and eat it? Even if I had a case of bulimia, I would not dare indulge in such thievery. Don’t blame the wrong person.” “You might not have eaten them,” said Clear Breeze, “but your followers wanted to steal them and eat them.” “Perhaps you are right,” said Tripitaka, “but there’s no need for you to shout. Let me ask them. If they have stolen them, I will ask them to repay you.”

“Repay!” said Bright Moon. “You couldn’t buy these fruits even if you had the money!”

“If they can’t buy them with money,” said Tripitaka, “they can at least offer you an apology, for as the proverb says, ‘Righteousness is worth a thousand pieces of gold.’ That should be sufficient. Moreover, we are still not sure whether it is my disciples who took your fruits.” “What do you mean, not sure?” said Bright Moon. “They were arguing among themselves, saying something about the portions not being equally divided.”

“Disciples,” cried Tripitaka, “come, all of you.” When Sha Monk heard this, he said, “It’s terrible! We’ve been discovered! Old master is calling us, and the Daoist lads are making all this racket. They must have found out!” “It is extremely embarrassing!” said Pilgrim. “This is just a matter of food and drink. But if we say so, that means we are stealing for our mouths! Let’s not admit it.” “Yes! Yes!” said Eight Rules. “Let’s deny it!” The three of them had no choice, however, but to leave the kitchen for the main hall. Alas, we do not know how they would be able to deny the charges; let’s listen to the explanation in the next chapter.