第四回

第四回 赵员外重修文殊院 鲁智深大闹五台山

诗曰：

躲难逃灾入代州，恩人相遇喜相酬。

只因法网重重布，且向空门好好修。

打坐参禅求解脱，粗茶淡饭度春秋。

他年证果尘缘满，好向弥陀国里游。

话说当下鲁提辖扭过身来看时，拖扯的不是别人，却是渭州酒楼上救了的金老。那老儿直拖鲁达到僻静处，说道：“恩人，你好大胆！见今明明地张挂榜文，出一千贯赏钱捉你，你缘何却去看榜？若不是老汉遇见时，却不被做公的拿了。榜上见写着你年甲貌相贯址。”鲁达道：“洒家不瞒你说，因为你上，就那日回到状元桥下，正迎着郑屠那厮，被洒家三拳打死了。因此上在逃，一到处撞了四五十日，不想来到这里。你缘何不回东京去，也来到这里？”金老道：“恩人在上，自从得恩人救了，老汉寻得一辆车子，本欲要回东京去，又怕这厮赶来，亦无恩人在彼搭救，因此不上东京去。随路望北来，撞见一个京师古邻[1]，来这里做买卖，就带老汉父子两口儿到这里。亏杀了他，就与老汉女儿做媒，结交此间一个大财主赵员外，养做外宅。衣食丰足，皆出于恩人。我女儿常常对他孤老[2]说提辖大恩。那个员外也爱刺枪使棒，常说道：‘怎地得恩人相会一面也好。’想念如何能勾得见。且请恩人到家，过几日却再商议。”

鲁提辖便和金老行不得半里，到门首，只见老儿揭起帘子，叫道：“我儿，大恩人在此。”那女孩儿浓妆艳裹，从里面出来，请鲁达居中坐了，插烛也似拜了六拜，说道：“若非恩人垂救，怎能勾有今日！”鲁达看那女子时，另是一般丰韵，比前不同。但见：

金钗斜插，掩映乌云；翠袖巧裁，轻笼瑞雪。樱桃口浅晕微红，春笋手半舒嫩玉。纤腰袅娜，绿罗裙微露金莲；素体轻盈，红绣袄偏宜玉体。脸堆三月娇花，眉扫初春嫩柳。香肌扑簌瑶台月，翠鬓笼松楚岫云。

那女子拜罢，便请鲁提辖道：“恩人上楼去请坐。”鲁达道：“不须生受，洒家便要去。”金老便道：“恩人既到这里，如何肯放教你便去。”老儿接了杆棒包裹，请到楼上坐定。老儿分付道：“我儿陪侍恩人坐一坐，我去安排来。”鲁达道：“不消多事，随分[3]便好。”老儿道：“提辖恩念，杀身难报。量些粗食薄味，何足挂齿。”女子留住鲁达在楼上坐地[4]，金老下来，叫了家中新讨的小厮，分付那个丫嬛一面烧着火，老儿和这小厮上街来，买了些鲜鱼、嫩鸡、酿鹅、肥鲊[5]、时新果子之类归来。一面开酒，收拾菜蔬，都早摆了，搬上楼来。春台[6]上放下三个盏子，三双箸，铺下菜蔬果子下饭等物。丫嬛将银酒壶盪上酒来，子父二人轮番把盏。金老倒地便拜，鲁提辖道：“老人家，如何恁地下礼？折杀俺也。”金老说道：“恩人听禀，前日老汉初到这里，写个红纸牌儿，旦夕一炷香，子父两个兀自拜哩。今日恩人亲身到此，如何不拜。”鲁达道：“却也难得你这片心。”

三人慢慢地饮酒，将及晚也，只听得楼下打将起来。鲁提辖开窗看时，只见楼下三二十人，各执白木棍棒，口里都叫：“拿将下来！”人丛里一个人骑在马上，口里大喝道：“休教走了这贼！”鲁达见不是头，拿起凳子，从楼上打将下来。金老连忙拍手叫道：“都不要动手。”那老儿抢下楼去，直至那骑马的官人身边，说了几句言语。那官人笑将起来，便喝散了那二三十人，各自去了。

那官人下马，入到里面，老儿请下鲁提辖来。那官人扑翻身便拜道：“闻名不如见面，见面胜似闻名。义士提辖受礼。”鲁达便问那金老道：“这官人是谁？素不相识，缘何便拜洒家？”老儿道：“这个便是我儿的官人赵员外。却才只道老汉引甚么郎君子弟在楼上吃酒，因此引庄客来厮打。老汉说知，方才喝散了。”鲁达道：“原来如此，怪员外不得。”赵员外再请鲁提辖上楼坐定，金老重整杯盘，再备酒食相待。赵员外让鲁达上首坐地，鲁达道：“洒家怎敢。”员外道：“聊表小弟相敬之礼。多闻提辖如此豪杰，今日天赐相见，实为万幸。”鲁达道：“洒家是个粗卤汉子，又犯了该死的罪过，若蒙员外不弃贫贱，结为相识，但有用洒家处，便与你去。”赵员外大喜，动问打死郑屠一事，说些闲话，较量些枪法，吃了半夜酒，各自歇了。

次日天明，赵员外道：“此处恐不稳便，可请提辖到敝庄住几时。”鲁达问道：“贵庄在何处？”员外道：“离此间十里多路，地名七宝村便是。”鲁达道：“最好。”员外先使人去庄上，叫牵两匹马来。未及晌午，马已到来，员外便请鲁提辖上马，叫庄客担了行李。鲁达相辞了金老父子二人，和赵员外上了马，两个并马行程，于路说些旧话，投七宝村来。不多时，早到庄前下马，赵员外携住鲁达的手，直至草堂上，分宾而坐，一面叫杀羊置酒相待。晚间收拾客房安歇，次日又备酒食管待。鲁达道：“员外错爱，洒家如何报答。”赵员外便道：“四海之内，皆兄弟也。如何言报答之事。”

话休絮繁。鲁达自此之后，在这赵员外庄上住了五七日。忽一日，两个正在书院里闲坐说话，只见金老急急奔来庄上，径到书院里，见了赵员外并鲁提辖。见没人，便对鲁达道：“恩人，不是老汉心多，为是恩人前日老汉请在楼上吃酒，员外误听人报，引领庄客来闹了街坊，后却散了，人都有些疑心，说开去。昨日有三四个做公的来邻舍街坊打听得紧，只怕要来村里缉捕恩人。倘或有些疏失，如之奈何？”鲁达道：“恁地时，洒家自去便了。”赵员外道：“若是留提辖在此，诚恐有些山高水低，教提辖怨怅；若不留提辖来，许多面皮都不好看。赵某却有个道理，教提辖万无一失，足可安身避难，只怕提辖不肯。”鲁达道：“洒家是个该死的人，但得一处安身便了，做甚么不肯。”赵员外道：“若如此，最好。离此间三十馀里有座山，唤做五台山，山上有一个文殊院，原是文殊菩萨道场。寺里有五七百僧人，为头智真长老，是我弟兄。我祖上曾舍钱在寺里，是本寺的施主檀越。我曾许下剃度一僧在寺里，已买下一道五花度牒在此[7]，只不曾有个心腹之人了这条愿心。如是提辖肯时，一应费用都是赵某备办。委实肯落发做和尚么？”鲁达寻思：“如今便要去时，那里投奔人？不如就了这条路罢。”便道：“既蒙员外做主，洒家情愿做了和尚，专靠员外照管。”当时说定了，连夜收拾衣服盘缠，段匹礼物，排担了。次日早起来，叫庄客挑了，两个取路望五台山来。辰牌已后，早到那山下。鲁提辖看那五台山时，果然好座大山。但见：

云遮峰顶，日转山腰。嵯峨仿佛接天关，崒嵂参差侵汉表。岩前花木，舞春风暗吐清香；洞口藤萝，披宿雨倒悬嫩线。飞云瀑布，银河影浸月光寒；峭壁苍松，铁角铃摇龙尾动。宜是由揉蓝染出，天生工积翠妆成。根盘直压三千丈，气势平吞四百州。

赵员外与鲁提辖两乘轿子抬上山来，一面使庄客前去通报。到得寺前，早有寺中都寺、监寺出来迎接。两个下了轿子，去山门外亭子上坐定。寺内智真长老得知，引着首座、侍者，出山门外来迎接。赵员外和鲁达向前施礼，真长老打了问讯[8]，说道：“施主远出不易。”赵员外答道：“有些小事，特来上刹相浼。”真长老便道：“且请员外方丈吃茶。”赵员外前行，鲁达跟在背后。看那文殊寺，果然是好座大刹。但见：

山门侵峻岭，佛殿接青云。钟楼与月窟相连，经阁共峰峦对立。香积厨通一泓泉水，众僧寮纳四面烟霞。老僧方丈斗牛边，禅客经堂云雾里。白面猿时时献果，将怪石敲响木鱼；黄斑鹿日日衔花，向宝殿供养金佛。七层宝塔接丹霄，千古圣僧来大刹。

当时真长老请赵员外并鲁达到方丈。长老邀员外向客席而坐，鲁达便去下首坐在禅椅上。员外叫鲁达附耳低言：“你来这里出家，如何便对长老坐地？”鲁达道：“洒家不省得。”起身立在员外肩下。面前首座、维那、侍者、监寺、都寺、知客、书记，依次排立东西两班。庄客把轿子安顿了，一齐搬将盒子入方丈来，摆在面前。长老道：“何故又将礼物来？寺中多有相渎檀越处。”赵员外道：“些小薄礼，何足称谢。”道人、行童收拾去了。赵员外起身道：“一事启堂头大和尚：赵某旧有一条愿心，许剃一僧在上刹，度牒词簿都已有了，到今不曾剃得。今有这个表弟，姓鲁名达，军汉出身，因见尘世艰辛，情愿弃俗出家。万望长老收录，慈悲慈悲，看赵某薄面，披剃为僧。一应所用，小子自当准备，烦望长老玉成，幸甚！”长老见说，答道：“这个事缘，是光辉老僧山门，容易容易。且请拜茶。”只见行童托出茶来。怎见得那盏茶的好处？有诗为证：

玉蕊金芽真绝品，僧家制造甚工夫。

兔毫盏内香云白，蟹眼汤中细浪铺。

战退睡魔离枕席，增添清气入肌肤。

仙茶自合桃源种，不许移根傍帝都。

真长老与赵员外众人茶罢，收了盏托。真长老便唤首座、维那商议剃度这人，分付监寺、都寺安排办斋。只见首座与众僧自去商议道：“这个人不似出家的模样，一双眼恰似贼一般。”众僧道：“知客，你去邀请客人坐地，我们与长老计较。”知客出来请赵员外、鲁达到客馆里坐地。首座、众僧禀长老说道：“却才这个要出家的人，形容丑恶，貌相凶顽，不可剃度他，恐久后累及山门。”长老道：“他是赵员外檀越的兄弟，如何别得他的面皮。你等众人且休疑心，待我看一看。”焚起一炷信香[9]，长老上禅椅盘膝而坐，口诵咒语，入定[10]去了。一炷香过，却好回来，对众僧说道：“只顾剃度他。此人上应天星，心地刚直。虽然时下凶顽，命中驳杂，久后却得清净，正果非凡，汝等皆不及他。可记吾言，勿得推阻。”首座道：“长老只是护短，我等只得从他。不谏不是，谏他不从便了。”

长老叫备斋食，请赵员外等方丈会斋。斋罢，监寺打了单帐，赵员外取出银两，教人买办物料，一面在寺里做僧鞋、僧衣、僧帽、袈裟、拜具。一两日都已完备。长老选了吉日良时，教鸣鸿钟，击动法鼓，就法堂内会集大众。整整齐齐五六百僧人，尽披袈裟，都到法座下合掌作礼，分作两班。赵员外取出银锭、表礼[11]、信香，向法座前礼拜了，表白宣疏已罢，行童引鲁达到法座下。维那教鲁达除了巾帻，把头发分做九路绾了，揲起来。净发人先把一周遭都剃了，却待剃髭须，鲁达道：“留了这些儿还洒家也好。”众僧忍笑不住。真长老在法座上道：“大众听偈。”念道：

“寸草不留，六根清净。与汝剃了，免得争竞。”

长老念罢偈言，喝一声：“咄，尽皆剃去！”净发人只一刀，尽皆剃了。首座呈将度牒上法座前，请长老赐法名。长老拿着空头度牒而说偈曰：

“灵光一点，价值千金。佛法广大，赐名智深。”

长老赐名已罢，把度牒转将下来。书记僧填写了度牒，付与鲁智深收受。长老又赐法衣袈裟，教智深穿了。监寺引上法座前，长老用手与他摩顶受记道：“一要归依三宝，二要归奉佛法，三要归敬师友：此是三归。五戒者：一不要杀生，二不要偷盗，三不要邪淫，四不要贪酒，五不要妄语。”智深不晓得禅宗答应“是”“否”两字，却便道：“洒家记得。”众僧都笑。受记已罢，赵员外请众僧到云堂里坐下，焚香设斋供献。大小职事僧人，各有上贺礼物。都寺引鲁智深参拜了众师兄师弟，又引去僧堂背后丛林里选佛场坐地。当夜无事。

次日，赵员外要回，告辞。长老留连不住，早斋已罢，并众僧都送出山门。赵员外合掌道：“长老在上，众师父在此，凡事慈悲。小弟智深乃是愚卤直人，早晚礼数不到，言语冒渎，误犯清规，万望觑赵某薄面，恕免恕免。”长老道：“员外放心，老僧自慢慢地教他念经诵咒，办道参禅。”员外道：“日后自得报答。”人丛里唤智深到松树下，低低分付道：“贤弟，你从今日难比往常，凡事自宜省戒，切不可托大[12]。倘有不然，难以相见，保重保重。早晚衣服，我自使人送来。”智深道：“不索[13]哥哥说，洒家都依了。”当时赵员外相辞长老，再别了众人上轿，引了庄客，拕了一乘空轿，取了盒子，下山回家去了。当下长老自引了众僧回寺。

话说鲁智深回到丛林选佛场中禅床上，扑倒头便睡。上下肩两个禅和子[14]推他起来，说道：“使不得，既要出家，如何不学坐禅？”智深道：“洒家自睡，干你甚事？”禅和子道：“善哉！”智深裸袖道：“团鱼洒家也吃，甚么善哉[15]！”禅和子道：“却是苦也。”智深便道：“团鱼大腹，又肥甜了，好吃，那得苦也？”上下肩禅和子都不采他，由他自睡了。次日，要去对长老说知智深如此无礼，首座劝道：“长老说道，他后来正果非凡，我等皆不及他，只是护短。你们且没奈何，休与他一般见识。”禅和子自去了。智深见没人说他，到晚放翻身体，横罗十字[16]，倒在禅床上睡。夜间鼻如雷响，如要起来净手，大惊小怪，只在佛殿后撒尿撒屎，遍地都是。侍者禀长老说：“智深好生无礼，全没些个出家人体面。丛林中如何安着得此等之人。”长老喝道：“胡说！且看檀越之面，后来必改。”自此无人敢说。

鲁智深在五台山寺中，不觉搅了四五个月。时遇初冬天气，智深久静思动。当日晴明得好，智深穿了皂布直裰，系了鸦青绦，换了僧鞋，大踏步走出山门来。信步行到半山亭子上，坐在鹅项懒凳[17]上，寻思道：“干鸟么！俺往常好酒好肉每日不离口，如今教洒家做了和尚，饿得干瘪了。赵员外这几日又不使人送些东西来与洒家吃，口中淡出鸟来，这早晚怎地得些酒来吃也好。”正想酒哩，只见远远地一个汉子，挑着一副担桶，唱上山来，上面盖着桶盖。那汉子手里拿着一个旋子，唱着上来。唱道：

“九里山前作战场，牧童拾得旧刀枪。

顺风吹动乌江水，好似虞姬别霸王。”

鲁智深观见那汉子担担桶上来，坐在亭子上，看这汉子也来亭子上歇下担桶。智深道：“兀那[18]汉子，你那桶里甚么东西？”那汉子道：“好酒。”智深道：“多少钱一桶？”那汉子道：“和尚，你真个也是作耍？”智深道：“洒家和你耍甚么！”那汉子道：“我这酒挑上去，只卖与寺内火工道人、直厅轿夫、老郎[19]们做生活的吃。本寺长老已有法旨，但卖与和尚们吃了，我们都被长老责罚，追了本钱，赶出屋去。我们见关[20]着本寺的本钱，见住着本寺的屋宇，如何敢卖与你吃？”智深道：“真个不卖？”那汉子道：“杀了我也不卖。”智深道：“洒家也不杀你，只要问你买酒吃。”那汉子见不是头，挑了担桶便走。智深赶下亭子来，双手拿住扁担，只一脚，交当踢着，那汉子双手掩着做一堆，蹲在地下，半日起不得。智深把那两桶酒，都提在亭子上，地下拾起旋子，开了桶盖，只顾舀冷酒吃。无移时，两桶酒吃了一桶。智深道：“汉子，明日来寺里讨钱。”那汉子方才疼止，又怕寺里长老得知，坏了衣饭，忍气吞声，那里敢讨钱。把酒分做两半桶挑了，拿了旋子，飞也似下山去了。

只说鲁智深在亭子上坐了半日，酒却上来；下得亭子，松树根边又坐了半歇，酒越涌上来。智深把皂直裰褪膊下来，把两只袖子缠在腰里，露出脊背上花绣来，扇着两个膀子上山来。看时，但见：

头重脚轻，对明月眼红面赤；前合后仰，趁清风东倒西歪。踉踉跄跄上山来，似当风之鹤；摆摆摇摇回寺去，如出水之龟。脚尖曾踢涧中龙，拳头要打山下虎。指定天宫，叫骂天蓬元帅；踏开地府，要拿催命判官。裸形赤体醉魔君，放火杀人花和尚。

鲁智深看看来到山门下，两个门子远远地望见，拿着竹篦[21]来到山门下，拦住鲁智深便喝道：“你是佛家弟子，如何[22]得烂醉了上山来。你须不瞎，也见库局里贴的晓示：但凡和尚破戒吃酒，决打四十竹篦，赶出寺去；如门子纵容醉的僧人入寺，也吃十下。你快下山去，饶你几下竹篦。”鲁智深一者初做和尚，二来旧性未改，睁起双眼骂道：“直娘贼！你两个要打洒家，俺便和你厮打！”门子见势头不好，一个飞也似入来报监寺，一个虚拖竹篦拦他。智深用手隔过，叉开五指，去那门子脸上只一掌，打得踉踉跄跄。却待挣侧，智深再复一拳，打倒在山门下，只是叫苦。智深道：“洒家饶你这厮。”踉踉跄跄入寺里来。

监寺听得门子报说，叫起老郎、火工、直厅轿夫三二十人，各执白木棍棒，从西廊下抢出来，却好迎着智深。智深望见，大吼了一声，却似嘴边起个霹雳，大踏步抢入来。众人初时不知他是军官出身，次后见他行得凶了，慌忙都退入藏殿里去，便把亮槅关上。智深抢入阶来，一拳一脚，打开亮槅，三二十人都赶得没路。夺条棒，从藏殿里打将出来。

监寺慌忙报知长老。长老听得，急引了三五个侍者，直来廊下，喝道：“智深不得无礼！”智深虽然酒醉，却认得是长老，撇了棒，向前来打个问讯，指着廊下，对长老道：“智深吃了两碗酒，又不曾撩拨他们，他众人又引人来打洒家。”长老道：“你看我面，快去睡了，明日却说。”鲁智深道：“俺不看长老面，洒家直打死你那几个秃驴。”长老叫侍者扶智深到禅床上，扑地便倒了，齁齁地睡了。众多职事僧人围定长老，告诉道：“向日徒弟们曾谏长老来，今日如何？本寺那里容得这等野猫，乱了清规。”长老道：“虽是如今眼下有些啰唣，后来却成得正果。无奈何，且看赵员外檀越之面，容恕他这一番。我自明日叫去埋冤他便了。”众僧冷笑道：“好个没分晓的长老！”各自散去歇息。

次日早斋罢，长老使侍者到僧堂里坐禅处唤智深时，尚兀自未起。待他起来，穿了直裰，赤着脚，一道烟走出僧堂来。侍者吃了一惊，赶出外来寻时，却走在佛殿后撒屎。侍者忍笑不住，等他净了手，说道：“长老请你说话。”智深跟着侍者到方丈，长老道：“智深，虽是个武夫出身，今来赵员外檀越剃度了你，我与你摩顶受记，教你一不可杀生，二不可偷盗，三不可邪淫，四不可贪酒，五不可妄语。此五戒，乃僧家常理。出家人第一不可贪酒，你如何夜来吃得大醉，打了门子，伤坏了藏殿上朱红槅子，又把火工道人都打走了，口出喊声。如何这般所为？”智深跪下道：“今番不敢了。”长老道：“既然出家，如何先破了酒戒，又乱了清规？我不看你施主赵员外面，定赶你出寺。再后休犯。”智深起来合掌道：“不敢，不敢。”长老留在方丈里，安排早饭与他吃，又用好言语劝他。取一领细布直裰，一双僧鞋，与了智深，教回僧堂去了。

昔大唐一个名贤，姓张名旭，作一篇《醉歌行》，单说那酒。端的做得好，道是：

金瓯潋滟倾欢伯，双手擎来两眸白。

延颈长舒似玉虹，咽吞犹恨江湖窄。

昔年侍宴玉皇前，敌饮都无两三客。

蟠桃烂熟堆珊瑚，琼液浓斟浮琥珀。

流霞畅饮数百杯，肌肤润泽腮微赤。

天地闻知酒量洪，敕令受赐三千石。

飞仙劝我不记数，酩酊神清爽筋骨。

东君命我赋新诗，笑指三山咏标格。

信笔挥成五百言，不觉尊前堕巾帻。

宴罢昏迷不记归，乘鸾误入云光宅。

仙童扶下紫云来，不辨东西与南北。

一饮千锺百首诗，草书乱散纵横划。

但凡饮酒，不可尽欢。常言酒能成事，酒能败事，便是小胆的吃了，也胡乱做了大胆，何况性高的人。

再说这鲁智深自从吃酒醉闹了这一场，一连三四个月不敢出寺门去。忽一日，天色暴热，是二月间天气。离了僧房，信步踱出山门外立地，看着五台山，喝采一回。猛听得山下叮叮的响声，顺风吹上山来。智深再回僧堂里，取了些银两，揣在怀里，一步步走下山来。出得那“五台福地”的牌楼来看时，原来却是一个市井，约有五七百人家。智深看那市镇上时，也有卖肉的，也有卖菜的，也有酒店、面店。智深寻思道：“干呆么！俺早知有这个去处，不夺他那桶酒吃，也自下来买些吃。这几日熬得清水流，且过去看有甚东西买些吃。”听得那响处，却是打铁的在那里打铁。间壁一家门上，写着“父子客店”。

智深走到铁匠铺门前看时，见三个人打铁。智深便道：“兀那待诏[23]，有好钢铁么？”那打铁的看见鲁智深腮边新剃暴长短须，戗戗地[24]好渗濑[25]人，先有五分怕他。那待诏住了手道：“师父请坐，要打甚么生活[26]？”智深道：“洒家要打条禅杖，一口戒刀，不知有上等好铁么？”待诏道：“小人这里正有些好铁，不知师父要打多少重的禅杖？戒刀但凭分付。”智深道：“洒家只要打一条一百斤重的。”待诏笑道：“重了，师父。小人打怕不打了，只恐师父如何使得动。便是关王刀，也则只有八十一斤重。”智深焦躁道：“俺便不及关王？他也只是个人。”待诏道：“小人好心，只可打条四五十斤的，也十分重了。”智深道：“便依你说，比关王刀，也打八十一斤的。”待诏道：“师父，肥了不好看，又不中使。依着小人，好生打一条六十二斤的水磨禅杖与师父，使不动时，休怪小人。戒刀已说了，不用分付，小人自用十分好铁打造在此。”智深道：“两件家生要几两银子？”待诏道：“不讨价，实要五两银子。”智深道：“俺便依你五两银子，你若打得好时，再有赏你。”那待诏接了银两道：“小人便打在此。”智深道：“俺有些碎银子在这里，和你买碗酒吃。”待诏道：“师父稳便。小人赶趁[27]些生活，不及相陪。”

智深离了铁匠人家，行不到三二十步，见一个酒望子挑出在房檐上。智深掀起帘子，入到里面坐下，敲那桌子叫道：“将酒来！”卖酒的主人家说道：“师父少罪，小人住的房屋也是寺里的，本钱也是寺里的，长老已有法旨，但是小人们卖酒与寺里僧人吃了，便要追了小人们本钱，又赶出屋。因此只得休怪。”智深道：“胡乱卖些与洒家吃，俺须不说是你家便了。”店主人道：“胡乱不得，师父别处去吃，休怪休怪。”智深只得起身，便道：“洒家别处吃得，却来和你说话。”出得店门，行了几步，又望见一家酒旗儿直挑出在门前。智深一直走进去，坐下叫道：“主人家，快把酒来卖与俺吃。”店主人道：“师父，你好不晓事。长老已有法旨，你须也知，却来坏我们衣饭。”智深不肯动身，三回五次，那里肯卖。智深情知不肯，起身又走，连走了三五家，都不肯卖。智深寻思一计：“若不生个道理，如何能勾酒吃。”远远地杏花深处，市梢尽头，一家挑出个草帚儿[28]来。智深走到那里看时，却是个傍村小酒店。但见：

傍村酒肆已多年，斜插桑麻古道边。

白板凳铺宾客坐，矮篱笆用棘荆编。

破瓮榨成黄米酒，柴门挑出布青帘。

更有一般堪笑处，牛屎泥墙画酒仙。

鲁智深揭起帘子，走入村店里来，倚着小窗坐下，便叫道：“主人家，过往僧人买碗酒吃！”庄家看了一看道：“和尚，你那里来？”智深道：“俺是行脚僧人，游方到此经过，要买碗酒吃。”庄家道：“和尚若是五台山寺里的师父，我却不敢卖与你吃。”智深道：“洒家不是。你快将酒卖来。”庄家看见鲁智深这般模样，声音各别，便道：“你要打多少酒？”智深道：“休问多少，大碗只顾筛来。”约莫也吃了十来碗酒，智深问道：“有甚肉，把一盘来吃。”庄家道：“早来有些牛肉，都卖没了，只有些菜蔬在此。”智深猛闻得一阵肉香，走出空地上看时，只见墙边沙锅里煮着一只狗在那里。智深便道：“你家见有狗肉，如何不卖与俺吃？”庄家道：“我怕你是出家人不吃狗肉，因此不来问你。”智深道：“洒家的银子有在这里。”就将银子递与庄家道：“你且卖半只与俺吃。”那庄家连忙取半只熟狗肉，捣些蒜泥，将来放在智深面前。智深大喜，用手扯那狗肉，蘸着蒜泥吃，一连又吃了十来碗酒。吃得口滑，只顾要吃，那里肯住。庄家倒都呆了，叫道：“和尚只恁地罢！”智深睁起眼道：“洒家又不白吃你的，管俺怎地！”庄家道：“再要多少？”智深道：“再打一桶来。”庄家只得又舀一桶来。智深无移时又吃了这桶酒，剩下一脚狗腿，把来揣在怀里。临出门又道：“多的银子，明日又来吃。”吓得庄家目睁口呆，罔知所措，看见他早望五台山上去了。

智深走到半山亭子上，坐了一回，酒却涌上来，跳起身，口里道：“俺好些时不曾拽拳使脚，觉道身体都困倦了，洒家且使几路看。”下得亭子，把两只袖子掿在手里，上下左右使了一回。使得力发，只一膀子搧在亭子柱上，只听得刮剌剌一声响亮，把亭子柱打折了，坍了亭子半边。门子听得半山里响，高处看时，只见鲁智深一步一，抢上山来。两个门子叫道：“苦也！前日这畜生醉了，今番又醉得不小可！”便把山门关上，把拴拴了，只在门缝里张时，见智深抢到山门下，见关了门，把拳头擂鼓也似敲门，两个门子那里敢开。智深敲了一回，扭过身来，看了左边的金刚，喝一声道：“你这个鸟大汉，不替俺敲门，却拿着拳头吓洒家，俺须不怕你。”跳上台基，把栅剌子[29]只一拔，却似[30]葱般拔开了。拿起一根折木头，去那金刚腿上便打，簌簌的泥和颜色都脱下来。门子张见道：“苦也！”只得报知长老。智深等了一回，调转身来看着右边金刚，喝一声道：“你这厮张开大口，也来笑洒家。”便跳过右边台基上，把那金刚脚上打了两下，只听得一声震天价响，那尊金刚从台基上倒撞下来。智深提着折木头大笑。

两个门子去报长老，长老道：“休要惹他，你们自去。”只见这首座、监寺、都寺，并一应职事僧人，都到方丈禀说：“这野猫今日醉得不好，把半山亭子、山门下金刚都打坏了，如何是好？”长老道：“自古天子尚且避醉汉，何况老僧乎？若是打坏了金刚，请他的施主赵员外自来塑新的；倒了亭子，也要他修盖。这个且由他。”众僧道：“金刚乃是山门之主，如何把来换过？”长老道：“休说坏了金刚，便是打坏了殿上三世佛，也没奈何，只可回避他。你们见前日的行凶么？”众僧出得方丈，都道：“好个囫囵粥[31]的长老！门子，你且休开门，只在里面听。”智深在外面大叫道：“直娘的秃驴们！不放洒家入寺时，山门外讨把火来，烧了这个鸟寺。”众僧听得叫，只得叫门子：“拽了大拴，由那畜生入来。若不开时，真个做出来！”门子只得捻脚捻手，把拴拽了，飞也似闪入房里躲了。众僧也各自回避。

只说那鲁智深双手把山门尽力一推，扑地将入来，吃[32]了一跤。扒将起来，把头摸一摸，直奔僧堂来。到得选佛场中，禅和子正打坐间，看见智深揭起帘子，钻将入来，都吃一惊，尽低了头。智深到得禅床边，喉咙里咯咯地响，看着地下便吐。众僧都闻不得那臭，个个道：“善哉！”齐掩了口鼻。智深吐了一回，扒上禅床，解下绦，把直裰带子都必必剥剥扯断了，脱下那脚狗腿来。智深道：“好，好！正肚饥哩。”扯来便吃。众僧看见，便把袖子遮了脸，上下肩两个禅和子远远地躲开。智深见他躲开，便扯一块狗肉，看着上首的道：“你也到口。”上首的那和尚把两只袖子死掩了脸，智深道：“你不吃？”把肉望下首的禅和子嘴边塞将去。那和尚躲不迭，却待下禅床，智深把他劈耳朵揪住，将肉便塞。对床四五个禅和子跳过来劝时，智深撇了狗肉，提起拳头，去那光脑袋上必必剥剥只顾凿。满堂僧众大喊起来，都去柜中取了衣钵要走。此乱唤做“卷堂大散”，首座那里禁约得住。

智深一味地打将出来，大半禅客都躲出廊下来。监寺、都寺不与长老说知，叫起一班职事僧人，点起老郎、火工道人、直厅轿夫，约有一二百人，都执杖叉棍棒，尽使手巾盘头，一齐打入僧堂来。智深见了，大吼一声，别无器械，抢入僧堂里佛面前，推翻供桌，两条桌脚，从堂里打将出来。但见：

心头火起，口角雷鸣。奋八九尺猛兽身躯，吐三千丈凌云志气。按不住杀人怪胆，圆睁起卷海双睛。直截横冲，似中箭投崖虎豹；前奔后涌，如着枪跳涧豺狼。直饶揭帝也难当，便是金刚须拱手。恰似顿断绒绦锦鹞子，犹如扯开铁锁火猢狲。

当时鲁智深轮两条桌脚，打将出来。众多僧行见他来得凶了，都拖了棒，退到廊下。智深两条桌脚着地卷将来，众僧早两下合拢来。智深大怒，指东打西，指南打北，只饶了两头的。当时智深直打到法堂下，只见长老喝道：“智深不得无礼！众僧也休动手。”两边众人被打伤了十数个，见长老来，各自退去。智深见众人退散，撇了桌脚，叫道：“长老与洒家做主。”此时酒已七八分醒了。长老道：“智深，你连累杀老僧。前番醉了一次，搅扰了一场，我教你兄赵员外得知，他写书来与众僧陪话。今番你又如此大醉无礼，乱了清规，打坍了亭子，又打坏了金刚，这个且由他。你搅得众僧卷堂而走，这个罪业非小。我这里五台山文殊菩萨道场，千百年清净香火去处，如何容得你这等秽污。你且随我来方丈里过几日，我安排你一个去处。”智深随长老到方丈去。长老一面叫职事僧人留住众禅客，再回僧堂，自去坐禅；打伤了的和尚，自去将息。长老领智深到方丈歇了一夜。

次日，真长老与首座商议，收拾了些银两赍发他，教他别处去，可先说与赵员外知道。长老随即修书一封，使两个直厅道人径到赵员外庄上说知就里，立等回报。赵员外看了来书，好生不然，回书来拜复长老，说道：“坏了的金刚、亭子，赵某随即备价来修。智深任从长老发遣。”长老得了回书，便叫侍者取领皂布直裰，一双僧鞋，十两白银，房中唤过智深。长老道：“智深，你前番一次大醉，闹了僧堂，便是误犯。今次又大醉，打坏了金刚，坍了亭子，卷堂闹了选佛场，你这罪业非轻。又把众禅客打伤了。我这里出家是个清净去处，你这等做，甚是不好。看你赵檀越面皮，与你这封书，投一个去处安身，我这里决然安你不得了。我夜来看了，赠汝四句偈言，终身受用。”智深道：“师父教弟子那里去安身立命？愿听俺师四句偈言。”

真长老指着鲁智深，说出这几句言语，去这个去处。有分教：这人笑挥禅杖，战天下英雄好汉；怒掣戒刀，砍世上逆子谗臣。直教名驰塞北三千里，证果江南第一州。毕竟真长老与智深说出甚言语来，且听下回分解。

[1] 古邻——老邻居。

[2] 孤老——娼妓对长期固定的客人、非正式夫妻关系中的妇女对所结识的男人，称孤老。帮闲等辈有时也称他所倚靠接济的人做孤老（如后文第二十一回唐牛儿称宋江）。孤老的意思略近于官人之类。

[3] 随分——随便、随意、照平常的样子的意思。

[4] 坐地——地，语助词，犹如说“着”。坐地，就是坐着。

[5] 鲊（zhǎ）——糟醃的鱼类、肉类，生烫的鱼片，都叫做鲊。一般指糟醃鱼。

[6] 春台——饭桌。

[7] 宋时政府出卖空头僧、道度牒。买了度牒，通过了寺、观，在度牒上填了名字，凭它做执照，才算正式出家的僧、道；免地税，免兵役。有钱有势的人，可以买度牒送给别人，让别人去做僧、道；他认为这是他的替身代他出家，是自己修行的好事；这个出家的僧、道，在寺、观中一切费用，相当时期之内，都由他负担。

[8] 问讯——出家人的常礼，合掌当胸。也叫做合十。

[9] 信香——佛教的说法：香是信心的使者。虔诚地烧香，香的气味便可以达到神的面前，神就能知道他的愿望。

[10] 入定——佛教的说法：闭目打坐，就可以做到不生杂念，和鬼神相通，知道世间一切过去、未来的事情。

[11] 表礼——旧时赏赐或送人用的衣料。也写作“表里”。

[12] 托大——由自信过强而来的不在乎、大意和摆架子、瞧不起人。

[13] 不索——不消、不须的意思。后文还有“只索”一词，就是只消、只须的意思。

[14] 禅和子——佛教名词。参禅之人的通称，就是和尚。也叫“禅和”。

[15] 善哉本是感叹之词，这里鲁智深故意把善哉的“善”与鳝鱼的“鳝”混在一起，取笑对方。团鱼，就是鳖。

[16] 横罗十字——伸开两臂，横摊在床上，身体像个十字。

[17] 鹅项懒凳——狭长的矮凳。

[18] 兀那——就是“那”。“兀”是发音词，无意义。

[19] 老郎——指寺庙里的粗杂工。后文第十九回“选了几个老郎做公的”的老郎，是老练的意思。第七十回“昔日老郎有一篇言语”的老郎，是元、明时说书艺人对本行前辈的尊称，犹如称老先生。

[20] 关——支取、领取的意思。有时也作发给解释。

[21] 竹篦——刑具：竹棍，一端是整的，一端是劈开的；或是把一束竹片，绑扎一起。也写作“批头”。

[22] （chuánɡ）——毫无节制拼命地吃喝。

[23] 待诏——对手艺人的尊称。意思是说他技术高明，随时皇帝会要找他去工作。

[24] 戗（qiānɡ）戗地——有不顺的、倒长的、旁边伸出来的等意思。

[25] 渗濑——可怕，使人毛骨悚然地那样瘆人。

[26] 生活——手艺人在制造过程中的工作和他的制成品，都叫做生活。这里指的是铁器；后文第二十四回“收拾起生活”、“取出生活”的生活，指的是针黹缝纴品。

[27] 赶趁——这里是赶着做的意思。后文第二十一回“来县前赶趁”的赶趁，指小商小贩做生意；有时也指艺人卖艺。

[28] 草帚儿——小酒店的酒旗，用草帚代替。

[29] 栅剌子——栅栏。也写作“杉剌子”。

[30] （juē）——折断的意思。

[31] 囫囵粥——糊涂的意思。山东、河南等地称粥为糊涂。

[32] 吃——是被、让、受的意思。

CHAPTER 3. Zhao Yuanwai Rebuilds Wenshu Monastery; Lu Da Makes a Row at Mount Wutai

WHEN Lu Da turned round he saw that it was Old Jin of the wine shop at Weizhou who was pulling him. They went to a quiet spot where the old man said, “Benefactor! You are too brave! That proclamation orders your arrest, and yet you go to look at it. If I had not seen you, you might have been recognized by a minor official.”

“I will tell you the truth,” said Lu Da, “because of your affair I killed the Bully, and I have been wandering about for fifty days, and did not plan to come here. Why did you not return to Kaifeng as it was arranged?”

“My superior benefactor!” said Old Jin. “On the day you saved me I hired a cart, and left with the intention of returning to Kaifeng, but on the way I met an old neighbor of ours who was coming here to do business as a merchant, and he brought us here. Fortunately, he arranged a marriage for my daughter with a wealthy man, Zhao Yuanwai,54 who kept her as a concubine. My daughter is always telling him of your benevolence, and he says that he would like to meet you. Let us go and see them now.”

They went about half a li to the house of Zhao where Old Jin lifted the curtain in front of the door, and called out, “Daughter, our benefactor has arrived.”

She came outside and invited Lu Da to enter and sit down. She then gave him six salutations, and asked them to go upstairs. He wished to leave, but Old Jin took his staff and bundle, and said to his daughter, “Please take our benefactor upstairs, and I will go to arrange the food.” He then went with a servant, and bought some fresh fish, a tender chicken, a goose cured in wine, and some pickled fish. Upon returning he had these cooked and taken upstairs. The girl servant brought the hot wine in a silver pot and father and daughter took it in turn to fill up Lu Da’s cup. Old Jin knelt and made his obeisance. “Why do you pay me such respect?” exclaimed Major Lu Da, “you lessen my prospects in life.” “Benefactor, please listen, I have been here a short time but I wrote your name on a piece of red paper, and every morning I burn a stick of incense and made obeisance to it. Now that you are here in person why should I not do the same to you?”

In the evening they heard a noise below. Major Lu then opened the window, and looked down; he saw about thirty men armed with wooden sticks and cudgels, who were calling out, “Bring down the man from upstairs.” Among them was an official on horseback who was shouting, “I do not want this thief to escape.” Upon hearing this Lu Da took a stool and was going to dash down to fight. Old Jin called, “You need not fight about this.” He then descended and went to the official, and spoke to him a few words. The official laughed and dismissed the men. He dismounted and went indoors. Old Jin requested Major Lu Da to come down. The official was Zhao Yuanwai who knelt, kowtowed, saying, “To learn of your name is not so good as to see your face; to see your face is better than knowing your name. Famous Major, please receive my obeisances.”

Lu Da asked Old Jin, “Who is this person? We are not acquainted, why does he make obeisance?” “This is my daughter’s husband,” replied Old Jin. “He suspected that I had brought an outsider here to drink wine, therefore he brought his servants to beat him. When I told him the truth he sent his men away.”

Major Lu and the others went upstairs and sat down. Zhao Yuanwai said, “I wish to express my respect to you at this time. I have heard a great deal of your heroism and today Heaven has granted me this meeting.”

“I am very stupid and am deserving death,” said the Major. “If you do not mind my poverty and misfortune, we shall become close friends, and if you have anything to do I shall be willing to serve you.”

Zhao Yuanwai was much pleased and inquired about the murder. They chatted, and compared notes about fencing with lances. They drank wine to midnight, and then went to rest.

The next day Zhao Yuanwai remarked: “I do not consider this place is safe, so I decided to take you to my native village which is three li from town.” He sent a man to the village to bring a horse which Lu Da mounted, and the farm servant was asked to carry the baggage. They took leave of Old Jin and his daughter, and as they rode abreast, they chatted. The next day Lu Da said, at a feast, “You are treating me well, and I am not able to return your kindness.” Zhao Yuanwai replied, “Within the four seas all men are brothers, so why mention ‘returning the kindness’?”

Lu Da stayed there for a week. One day Old Jin hurriedly arrived and told Lu Da, “Benefactor, I have a suspicion, because of that affair the other day the neighbors talked about it, and yesterday four policemen came making inquiries. I am afraid that they will come here and arrest you.”

Lu Da said that he had better go, and Zhao Yuanwai replied, “I have another plan, I will find a peaceful retreat for you if you would agree to go.” Lu Da asked where that place was, and Zhao Yuanwai said, “About ten li from here is a mountain called Mount Wutai, and on it is a monastery called Wenshu Monastery. This was the earthly abode of the Bodhisatva Wenshu, and now there are about seven hundred monks in the monastery. The Abbot’s name is Zhi Zhen, and he is a close friend of mine. An ancestor of mine endowed the monastery. I once took the vow that I would subsidize a monk there. I have purchased the certificate, monk’s gown, and alms bowl. I have no trusty person who would fulfill my wish, but if you would care to do so, I will arrange matters for you. Are you willing to have your hair cut off and become a monk?”

Lu Da thought the matter over, “Now I must leave here; but where can I go? I had better do as you suggest.” So he said, “I accept your offer and will become a monk. I have confidence in you.” During the night they arranged matters, and prepared the clothes, traveling expenses, rolls of silk, and other gifts for the temple. They rose early the next morning and called servants to carry the articles. They started at seven o’clock and reached the foot of the mountain at eleven. There they engaged two sedan chairs to take them up the mountain, and the servant was sent in advance to announce their arrival. They were met at the monastery by the manager and superintendent of that monastery, and were conducted to a pavilion outside the temple gate where the Abbot came with his attendants to welcome them.

After a little while the Abbot took them to his private room for tea. Abbot Zhi Zhen requested Zhao Yuanwai to take the seat of honor. Lu Da took a monk’s seat and sat down in a lower position. Zhao leant over and whispered in Lu Da’s ear, “You have come here to become a monk. How can you sit down opposite to the Abbot?”

“I do not understand their customs,” said Lu Da. He then rose and took his position at the side of the Squire. In front of them stood the chief monk, the Wei Na, the abbot’s assistant, the superintendent of the temple and his assistant, the guest’s host, and the scribe, in order of rank. The servants brought in the box containing the gifts and placed it in front of the Abbot, who said, “Why have you brought presents again? We have plenty of your donations in this monastery.” The servants and the acolytes removed the gifts, and then Zhao Yuanwai stood up and said, “Previously I wished to subsidize a monk here. I had the certificate, but up to now I have not found the proper man. My cousin, Lu Da, was a military officer at Weizhou, but he saw the misery of the present generation and has rejected the common lot. He begs the Abbot to have mercy and receive him as a monk. I would prepare all the articles for him. I have great hopes that the Abbot will satisfy his desire.”

The Abbot upon hearing this replied, “This will bring glory to our monastery. It can be easily arranged.” He then told the acolyte to serve tea, which was done. After tea the Abbot discussed with the Wei Na the question of cutting off Lu Da’s hair and making him a monk. He ordered the superintendent to supply the plain food for his fasting. He told all the other monks to be present to discuss the matter with their brothers. They did this, and the general opinion was that Lu Da had not the appearance of a monk, and moreover his eyes looked cruel. They asked the guest’s host to request Lu Da to sit at another place, so that they could talk this matter over with the Abbot. The host invited Zhao Yuanwai and Lu Da to go with him to the guest chamber. The monks addressed the Abbot, saying, “This man who wishes to become a monk has a repulsive and cruel appearance, and we cannot shave him. We are afraid afterwards our monastery will be disgraced.”

The Abbot answered, “He is a cousin of our donor Zhao Yuanwai so how dare we offend him? You should not suspect him; you can wait here and let me have a look at his features.” He then burn a stick of incense, placing it in the vase for that purpose. He sat down, cross-legged, in a monk’s meditation and began to chant. When the stick of incense was finished, he returned to the other room, and said to the monks, “You may now shave his head. He is a representation of a heavenly star, and he is quite upright. At present he is cruel, but his future is favorable, and he will become pure. In the process of transmigration he has become uncommon, and is better than any of you. You must remember what I say and accept it.”

The chief monk answered, “As you connive at his faults so we have no alternative but to obey. If we reprove him, then we are not obeying you.” The Abbot ordered the common food to be prepared, and invited Zhao Yuanwai and Lu Da to dine with him. After the meal the superintendent opened the donations book, and Zhao Yuanwai gave some money, telling him to buy things necessary for a monk. In two days they were ready, and the Abbot selected a lucky time and day, and at that time the bells and drums were beaten, and the monks assembled in the Great Hall. There were altogether about six hundred, wearing their surplices, and they knelt down in an attitude of prayer, in two rows, before the Abbot’s throne. Zhao Yuanwai brought silver paper money, and kowtowed before the Abbot. He stated the case clearly, and then the acolytes led in Lu Da. The Wei Na told Lu Da to remove his hat, let his hair down in nine plaits, and then fold it on the top of his head. The barber shaved the head all round including the mustache and beard. Lu Da asked, “Would it not be better if you leave me just a little?” Upon hearing this the assembled monks could not help laughing. The Abbot from his throne addressed them, “Let all listen to this

‘Shave him clean of every hair,

Leave not e’en a root,

Cleanly shave the young monk’s head,

So no strife may shoot.’”

The Abbot exclaimed loudly, “Shave it all off!” The barber took his knife, and shaved what was left. The abbot’s assistant holding aloft the certificate brought it before the throne, and requested the Abbot to bestow a new name. The Abbot taking the certificate said,

“Priceless is the holy light,

Silver buys it not;

Buddha’s laws are very broad,

Thy name is ‘Wise and Deep.’”

The certificate was then handed to the recorder who completed the entries, and then gave it to Lu Da. The Abbot ordered that the priestly robes and the surplice be issued to the novitiate. The superintendent then conducted Lu Da to the throne, and the Abbot placed his hands on the new monk’s head, saying: “First, you must conform to the laws of Buddhism; second, you must observe the rules of the order; third, you must be friendly to the monks. These are the three rules to obey, but there are also five prohibitions as follows: You must not take life, steal, fornicate, covet wine, or speak falsely.” Lu Da expressed his assent, and said he would not forget them. Upon hearing this statement, the monks laughed.

After the ceremony Zhao Yuanwai invited all the monks to accompany him to the Cloud Hall where he burnt incense, and then dined with them. He gave presents to all the officials of the monastery. Lu Da was conducted by the superintendent, and the monks all kowtowed to him.

The following day Zhao Yuanwai wished to return home, and after breakfast a large number of monks accompanied him to the main entrance where after saluting he addressed them, “Let all display mercy. Your younger brother ‘Wise and Deep’ (Zhishen) is very stupid and he speaks foolishly. He does not understand etiquette, and may unintentionally break your rules. I request you to forgive his faults on my account.”

“Never mind,” replied the Abbot. “I myself will teach him to read and chant the classics, and discuss the truth with him in the prayer hall.”

Zhao promised to recompense the kind treatment. He beckoned Lu Da to a fir tree where he said, “Worthy brother, from today your life will improve, but at all times you must not forget your weakness, and not be so confident of yourself. If there is any further trouble it will be difficult for us to see each other. So take care. By and by I will send a man with clothing for you.” Lu Da promised to follow his advice, and then Zhao Yuanwai took leave of the Abbot and the crowd of monks. And down the mountain he departed. Lu Da went to the monks’ dormitory, and lay down to sleep. On either side of him was a monk, and they both pushed him; saying, “Get up! This won’t do! As you have left home, why do you not sleep in a sitting position?”

“I am going to sleep, and what is that to do with you?” answered Lu Da. A monk exclaimed, “What a calamity!”

Lu Da shouted, “Even a tortoise I shall eat; what calamity will there be?”

The monk replied, “Of course there will be a calamity.” Lu Da said, “A tortoise has a big belly, but the fat is sweet and nice to eat, so why should there be a calamity.”

The monks took no more notice of him and let him sleep. The next day they wanted to report to the Abbot that Lu Da had been unreasonable: but the abbot’s assistant advised them not to interfere as the Abbot would only protect him.

Lu Da saw that nobody spoke to him and therefore every evening he went to rest; he lay aslant across the bed. During the night he snored like thunder, and made great noises. He pissed and shit behind one of the halls. An attendant reported to the Abbot that Lu Da had bad manners and did not observe the customs of a monk. The Abbot shouted, “Nonsense! You must not forget the donor. I expect there will be an improvement later.” After this no one dared speak about Lu Da.

Lu Da lived at the Mount Wutai monastery for about five months without noticing the time pass, but upon winter coming he thought of leaving. At that time the weather was fine, so he wore a long black gown with a black belt, changed his monk’s shoes, and walked down the hill. About halfway he sat down in an arbor and meditated, “What a glutton I am! Previously I liked good wine and meat, and never restrained my appetite. Now I have been trained as a monk, and I am hungry and thirsty. Zhao Yuanwai has not sent me any food for several days, and I feel ravenous. I should like some good wine.” Just then he saw in the distance a young man carrying two buckets on a pole, and singing as he ascended the mountain path. The buckets were covered with lids. He had in his hand a bowl and sang:

On the battlefield of Mount Jiuli,

A herdboy got a sword and spear

From the days of long ago;

A fair wind ruffles the waters near

Where the River Wu sings the heroes’ song

Of Xiang Yu’s wife and her farewell woe.

Upon reaching the arbor the man put down his load, and Lu Da asked what the buckets held and he was told it was wine. “What is the price for one bucket?” asked Lu Da. “Reverend, are you joking?” asked the man. “Why should I joke with you?” said Lu Da. The man answered, “I am taking this wine up the mountain to sell it to the cooks, messengers, sedan-chair carriers, and other servants at the monastery. The Abbot has given an order that if we sell any wine to a monk he will punish us, take our money, and expel us from the monastery. The Abbot gave me the capital to buy the wine and I live in the monastery, so how dare I sell wine to you?”

“But why cannot you sell?” asked Lu Da.

“Kill me and still I will not sell,” replied the man.

“I won’t kill you,” said Lu Da. “I am only asking you to sell the wine.”

The man saw that trouble was brewing so he picked up his load and walked away. Lu Da quickly left the arbor, took hold of the carrying pole, and kicked the man in the groin. The fellow clasped his hand over the injured part, crouched upon the ground, and did not rise for a long time. Lu Da seized the two buckets of wine and took them into the arbor. He opened the buckets and ladling out the cold wine, drank it. In a little time he had drunk a bucketful of wine. Lu Da spoke, “You come to the monastery tomorrow and demand the money.”

The man was now free from pain, but was afraid that the Abbot would hear of the matter and punish him. He was angry but he suppressed his passion. He dared not ask for the money. He divided the remaining wine in the two buckets, shouldered his load, and flew down the mountain.

Lu Da sat in the arbor for half the day, and the wine mounted to his head. He took off his gown, and tied it round his waist by the sleeves, exposing his tattooed back. In this manner he went back up the hill, swinging his arms. As he neared the monastery, the gatekeepers saw him, and placed two bamboo boards across the entrance, and called out to him, “You are a disciple of Buddha, and yet you come here drunk. You are not blind; you have seen the order posted at the Treasury that monks are forbidden to drink wine, and if they disobey this they will receive forty blows with the bamboo, and be expelled from the monastery. If we allow you to enter in this state, we shall be punished with ten blows. Go away at once, and we will not say anything.”

Although Lu Da was now a monk, yet he had not changed his temper. He stared at them and cursed, “You thieving bastards! If you hit me, I will fight you.”

Seeing the danger of trouble, one of the gatekeepers ran to report the matter to the superintendent. Lu Da knocked the bamboo boards to one side, slapped the gatekeeper’s face, and stumbled forward. The gatekeeper attempted to stop him, but Lu Da knocked him down. This was certainly disgraceful, but he stumbled forward into the courtyard. The superintendent had collected together about thirty servants, and armed them with white sticks. Upon meeting them, Lu Da roared like a clash of thunder, and advanced with big strides. The servants seeing his fierce appearance hurriedly retreated to the storeroom and closed the two folding doors. Lu Da struck the doors, and kicked until he forced the doors open. The men were cornered, and Lu Da seizing a stick drove them out. The superintendent had reported the trouble to the Abbot who taking his five attendants arrived on the scene and called out, “Lu Da, you are making a mistake!”

Although Lu Da was drunk, yet he recognized the Abbot. He threw away the stick, and saluted. “I have had only two cups of wine. These men came and hit me.”

“Pay attention!” replied the Abbot. “Go and sleep at once, and tell me about it tomorrow.”

“I would kill you bald-headed donkeys but for the Abbot,” said Lu Da.

The Abbot ordered his attendants to assist Lu Da to a bed in the dormitory, and upon reaching it he fell down, and was soon fast asleep and snoring. A crowd of monks now surrounded the Abbot, saying, “We remonstrated with you before, and now this has happened. We object to this wild cat remaining here, as he will only upset our pure ways of life.”

The Abbot replied, “Though there is trouble now, there will be a different state of affairs afterwards. I have no alternative, but you will forgive him when you appreciate the influence of his donor. Tomorrow I will tell him that I cannot tolerate such bad conduct, and that will end the matter.”

“What an injudicious Abbot!” jeered the monks. They all separated to their rest.

The next day after breakfast, the Abbot sent his attendants to summon Lu Da. He was not awake. They waited until he arose, and put on his long gown. Suddenly he dashed out to the surprise of the attendants. Following, they found Lu Da pissing behind the temple. When he had finished he went with them to the Abbot. “Lu Da,” said the Abbot, “you were previously a military man and were introduced here by Zhao Yuanwai, I have given you some instructions. You must not take life, nor steal, nor fornicate, nor drink wine, nor lie. These are the usual five prohibitions for monks: but the most important is that you should not drink wine. Why did you return drunk last night; strike the gatekeepers, break open the doors of the storeroom, drive out the servants, and generally misbehave yourself? Why did you do this?”

Lu Da knelt, and replied, “I dare not do it again.”

The Abbot asked, “Why did you break our rule about drinking wine, and so broke our laws of purity. I should have expelled you from the monastery if it had not been for the good character of your benefactor Zhao Yuanwai. Hereafter you must not break our rules.” Lu Da arose, and clasping his hands said, “I certainly will not dare do that.”

The Abbot then took him inside and ordered breakfast for them both. During the meal he gave him good advice, a monk’s robe of fine cloth, and a pair of shoes, before dismissing him. “When there is wine drinking, one must not go to excess. There is a common saying, ‘Matters can be settled or ruined by wine.’ Cowards drink wine; they can have false courage, and muddle their affairs. But what does it do to the bold and impetuous?” After the drunken brawl Lu Da dared not venture out of the monastery for three months. One day in the second lunar month, the weather was very hot, and he strolled out of the monks’ quarters standing outside the monastery gate, gazing and appreciating the beautiful view. Suddenly he heard the sound of knocks down the mountain carried upwards by the wind. He returned for some silver which he hid in his breast, and then slowly walked down the hill. At the bottom he saw a crowd of people attending a fair. There were butchers, greengrocers, wine and bread shops. He thought if he had known of this place earlier he would not have drunk the wine of the bucket, but have gone there for it. These few days he had felt depressed, so he decided to ascertain what eatables were procurable. He heard again the sound of knocking and he knew that it was iron being worked. He saw on the wall between two shops the characters for “The Father and Son Inn.” One of the two was a blacksmith’s shop in which three men were working, and Lu Da asked them if they had good steel. The blacksmiths saw that Lu Da had a short growth of beard which gave him a disagreeable appearance, and made them half afraid of him at first sight. They ceased work and said, “Reverend, please be seated. What kind of work have you for us?”

“I want you to make an iron staff and a broad sword,” said Lu Da. “I did not know you have such good steel here.”

A blacksmith answered, “We have good steel here; you had better give us the order, for we do not yet know how heavy you want them.”

“I need a staff weighing one hundred jin,” said Lu Da.

The blacksmith laughed, saying, “Very heavy, master. I am afraid we cannot do it: but even if we could, perhaps you could not use it. The great halberd used by Guan Gong was only eighty-one jin.”

“I am not as good as Guan Gong, but he was only a man,” said Lu Da.

“According to my idea, a staff of say sixty-two jin will be heavy enough.”

“Now according to your account of Guan Gong’s great halberd, make me one of eighty-one jin,” said Lu Da.

“Reverend, it will be very big. It will not look well, and will be inconvenient to use. I think it would be better to make one of sixty-two jin, and have it brightly polished. But if you cannot use it, do not blame me. As you have decided upon it, we need not go into details: we will use the best iron and make it here.”

“How much do you want for making them?” asked Lu Da.

“Not more than five taels of silver,” replied the blacksmith.

“I will accept your word, so here is the money,” said Lu Da. “If it is well made I will give you extra money.” The blacksmith received the money, and said, “It shall be done at once.”

Lu Da walked a short distance from the shop and saw the signboard of a wine shop. He lifted the curtain at the door, entered, and sat down. He tapped on the table, calling for wine.

“Excuse me, Reverend,” said the innkeeper, “this wine shop belongs to the monastery, which furnished the capital. The Abbot controls our affairs and does not like us to sell wine to men from his monastery, but should we do so, he would expel us, so do not consider it impolite if we cannot supply you.”

“Never mind that.” replied Lu Da, “you can sell me some wine and I will not say a word about it.”

“I cannot do that,” answered the innkeeper. “Please go to another place and don’t think us rude.”

Lu Da rose, saying, “I will go and will not talk further with you.” Going out a few paces, he saw a flag over the door of a wine shop. He entered, sat down and called for wine. “Reverend, you evidently do not understand that the Abbot controls our affairs, and so by coming here you endanger our livelihood.”

Lu Da was determined to have wine but he knew that they would not sell any. He tried some more shops with the same result. In the distance he saw a broom hanging in front of a house which was situated in a cluster of the apricot trees. Upon approaching he found it was a small inn just outside the village. He went in and sat down near the window, calling, “Innkeeper, I am a stranger here and I want a cup of wine.”

The proprietor looked at him carefully, “Reverend, where do you come from?”

“I am a traveling monk, and I happened to pass here.” “If you are from the monastery at Mount Wutai, I cannot sell you any wine.”

“I do not come from there. Bring me some wine quickly.”

The proprietor saw that Lu Da had the manner and speech of another district, so asked how much wine he wanted. “Bring me a large cup of warm wine,” said Lu Da. “What meat can I have with it?”

“This morning I had some beef, but it is now all finished.”

Lu Da could smell the meat which was being cooked, so going outside he saw along the wall an earthen boiler, containing dog’s flesh. He said, “Why don’t you sell me this?”

“I was afraid that a monk may not eat the dog’s flesh.”

“I have some silver,” said Lu Da, offering it to the proprietor, “let me have half of the dog.”

The proprietor prepared the dish with some powdered garlic, and placed it before Lu Da who tore the flesh apart with his fingers and dipping it in the garlic, ate it. Although he drank ten cups of wine, he still wanted more. The innkeeper was afraid and remarked he had had enough. Lu Da stared at him, “I will pay you, so why interfere?” The man asked how much he wanted and Lu Da said, “A bucketful.” This was supplied and Lu Da drank it rapidly. There was still a leg of the dog which he picked up and put in his breast. As he left the inn, he said that he would come again the next day. The proprietor was speechless on hearing this, and saw that he was going in the direction of Mount Wutai.

Lu Da walked halfway up the mountain and rested in an arbor till the effect of the wine passed away. At last, getting up, he said to himself, “For a long time I have had no drill in hand combat and feel my body is not in good form—I will have a little practice here. Taking his long sleeves, he rolled up the ends and thrust in all directions. He was swinging his arm, when he struck against a pillar of the arbor with such force as to break it, and it fell with a great crash. The doorkeeper of the monastery heard this noise, and looking below saw that Lu Da was staggering up the path. He said, “Much trouble! This brute is extremely drunk again.” He closed the gate, and taking the bar fastened it. Then gazed through a crack in the door, and watched Lu Da approaching. When Lu Da reached the door he struck it with his fist but the gatekeeper dared not open it. Lu Da turned and saw on the left side of the door, a guardian idol, covered with gilt, to which he shouted, “You big prick, why do you not knock the door for me, instead of frightening me with that attitude: but I am not afraid of you.” He then mounted the steps—took hold of the railings in front of the idol, and pulled them up, as if plucking onions. He took one of the broken rails and struck the idol: the painted clay fell to the ground. The gatekeeper seeing this ran to report it to the Abbot. Lu Da then turned, and saw another gilded idol, at which he shouted, “You are opening your mouth wide, and laugh at me.” He ascended the steps on that side and struck the foot of the idol twice with the railing. There was a tremendous noise as the idol fell to the ground at which Lu Da laughed loudly.

When the Abbot heard of the matter, he said, “We must not make him angry: you had better go away.” A crowd of monks had collected, and they said, “That wild cat is extremely drunk. He has broken the arbor and the idols at the entrance. What shall we do?”

“Since ancient times the Emperor has always avoided drunken men, so why should I not do the same,” said the Abbot. “As to the images and the arbor he destroyed, the patron will repair them.”

The monks left the Abbot’s quarters saying, “How stupid is our Abbot. The doorkeepers do not open the door but listen.”

Outside, Lu Da was shouting, “You thieving stinking bald-headed donkeys! If you do not let me enter the monastery I will set fire to the building.”

The monks upon hearing this told the gatekeepers to draw the bar and let the brute in. They did this quietly and stealthily, and then hurried into the buildings to hide themselves. The monks also got out of the way.

Lu Da using both hands pushed against the doors with great force and fell to the ground as they opened. Scrambling up, he rubbed his head, and then rushed into the meditation hall. There were many visiting monks seated in contemplation, and they were alarmed at his sudden, noisy entrance. Lu Da went to the side of the hall and vomited. The monks were disgusted with the stench and covered their noses with their hands. Lu Da got on a bed, took off his silk belt, and tore apart the fastenings of his clothes, and the dog’s leg fell out. “How nice,” he said picking it up, “I am very hungry just now.” So saying, he ate it. Upon seeing this the monks covered their faces with their sleeves, and those on both sides of him withdrew. Lu Da seeing this movement, offered a piece of the dog’s leg to a monk who covered his face with his sleeves. Lu Da asked why he did not eat it, and then pushed the flesh at the lips of another monk. About five monks on neighboring beds leapt forward to intervene but Lu Da throwing the meat away hit the monk with his fist several times. This raised a loud shout from the monks who went to the cupboards to get their clothes and alms bowls with the idea of leaving. This created a general confusion which the monk in charge could not control. The superintendent summoned all the servants, including groundsmen, cooks’ assistants, messengers, sedan-chair carriers, altogether about two hundred men, who seized sticks, rice shovels, staffs and cudgels, and placing towels round their heads, entered the hall in a body. Upon seeing them Lu Da howled, and, having no weapon, hurried to the center of the hall, pushed over the table for offerings in front of Buddha, and having broken off two of the legs he advanced. When the menial monks saw his fierce expression, they retreated to the veranda, but as Lu Da only flourished the table legs they soon returned to the attack. Lu Da was very angry and struck on both sides. He had moved towards the hall where the scriptures were expounded, and there he met the Abbot who called out, “Lu Da, you are unreasonable! You monks must not lay a hand on him.” The monks retreated and Lu Da threw away the legs of the table, asking the Abbot, “Will you tell me what I must do?” At that moment Lu Da was nearly sober.

“Lu Da, you have implicated me seriously,” said the Abbot. “You were drunk previously and created a lot of trouble. Now you are again drunk, knocked down an arbor and broken two idols. You have also made trouble with the monks, so that they have all to go away. This sin of yours is not a small one. This, my Wenshu Monastery, on Mount Wutai, has been kept holy and sacred for more than a thousand years, so how can I keep a filthy thing like you here? But you can live in my quarters for a few days more until I find a place for you to go to.”

Lu Da accompanied the Abbot to his quarters. The Abbot sent word for the visiting monks to return and continue their contemplations. The monks that were injured had their wounds attended to.

Next day, the Abbot wrote a letter to Zhao Yuanwai sending it with two messengers who waited for his reply. When Zhao Yuanwai read the letter, he was very sad. He wrote a reply and said that he would pay for the repairs; as for Lu Da, he would leave him to the Abbot to be banished.

When the Abbot received the letter, he instructed his attendants to bring a gown of black cloth, a pair of shoes, ten taels of silver, and fetch Lu Da. Upon his arrival the Abbot reproved him about his offences; telling him he had decided to expel him from the monastery. He continued, “During the night I thought of your affairs, and have prepared for you four sentences from our sayings which you can use until your dying day.”

Laughing monk with staff so rare,

And ordained sword so beautiful;

Fought with heroes everywhere,

And punished traitorous ministers.

We will now relate what the Abbot said.

Footnote

54 Yuanwai an aristocratic title, approximating an “esquire” or gentleman.