第二十六回

第二十六回 郓哥大闹授官厅 武松斗杀西门庆

诗曰：

参透风流二字禅，好因缘是恶因缘。

痴心做处人人爱，冷眼观时个个嫌。

野草闲花休采折，贞姿劲质自安然。

山妻稚子家常饭，不害相思不损钱。

话说当时何九叔跌倒在地下，众火家扶住。王婆便道：“这是中了恶，快将水来。”喷了两口，何九叔渐渐地动转，有些苏醒。王婆道：“且扶九叔回家去却理会。”两个火家使扇板门，一径抬何九叔到家里，大小接着，就在床上睡了。老婆哭道：“笑欣欣出去，却怎地这般归来！闲时曾不知中恶。”坐在床边啼哭。何九叔觑得火家都不在面前，踢那老婆道：“你不要烦恼，我自没事。却才去武大家入殓，到得他巷口，迎见县前开药铺的西门庆，请我去吃了一席酒，把十两银子与我，说道：‘所殓的尸首，凡事遮盖则个。’我到武大家，见他的老婆是个不良的人模样，我心里有八九分疑忌。到那里揭起千秋幡看时，见武大面皮紫黑，七窍内津津出血，唇口上微露齿痕，定是中毒身死。我本待声张起来，却怕他没人做主，恶了西门庆，却不是去撩蜂剔蝎？待要胡卢提[1]入了棺殓了，武大有个兄弟，便是前日景阳冈上打虎的武都头，他是个杀人不斩眼的男子，倘或早晚归来，此事必然要发。”老婆便道：“我也听得前日有人说道：‘后巷住的乔老儿子郓哥，去紫石街帮武大捉奸，闹了茶坊。’正是这件事了。你却慢慢的访问他。如今这事有甚难处，只使火家自去殓了，就问他几时出丧。若是停丧在家，待武松归来出殡，这个便没甚么皂丝麻线[2]；若他便出去埋葬了，也不妨；若是他便要出去烧他时，必有跷蹊。你到临时，只做去送丧，张人眼错，拿了两块骨头，和这十两银子收着，便是个老大证见。他若回来，不问时便罢，却不留了西门庆面皮，做一碗饭却不好？”何九叔道：“家有贤妻，见得极明！”随即叫火家分付：“我中了恶，去不得。你们便自去殓了，就问他几时出丧，快来回报。得的钱帛，你们分了，都要停当。与我钱帛，不可要。”火家听了，自来武大家入殓。停丧安灵已罢，回报何九叔道：“他家大娘子说道：‘只三日便出殡，去城外烧化。’”火家各自分钱散了。何九叔对老婆道：“你说这话正是了。我至期只去偷骨殖便了。”

且说王婆一力撺掇那婆娘，当夜伴灵。第二日，请四僧念些经文。第三日早，众火家自来扛抬棺材，也有几家邻舍街坊相送。那妇人带上孝，一路上假哭养家人，来到城外化人场上，便教举火烧化。只见何九叔手里提着一陌纸钱来到场里，王婆和那妇人接见道：“九叔，且喜得贵体没事了。”何九叔道：“小人前日买了大郎一扇笼子母炊饼，不曾还得钱，特地把这陌纸来烧与大郎。”王婆道：“九叔如此志诚！”何九叔把纸钱烧了，就撺掇烧化棺材。王婆和那妇人谢道：“难得何九叔撺掇，回家一发相谢。”何九叔道：“小人到处只是出热[3]。娘子和干娘自稳便，斋堂里去相待众邻舍街坊，小人自替你照顾。”使转了这妇人和那婆子，把火挟去拣两块骨头，损去侧边，拿去骨池内只一浸，看那骨头酥黑。何九叔收藏了，也来斋堂里和哄了一回。棺木过了杀火，收拾骨殖，在池子里。众邻舍回家，各自分散。那何九叔将骨头归到家中，把幅纸都写了年月日期，送丧的人名字，和这银子一处包了，做个布袋儿盛着，放在房里。

再说那妇人归到家中，去槅子前面设个灵牌，上写“亡夫武大郎之位”。灵床子前点一盏琉璃灯，里面贴些经幡、钱垛、金银锭、采缯之属。每日却自和西门庆在楼上任意取乐。却不比先前在王婆房里，只是偷鸡盗狗之欢，如今家中又没人碍眼，任意停眠整宿。自此西门庆整三五夜不归去，家中大小亦各不喜欢。原来这女色坑陷得人，有成时必须有败。有首《鹧鸪天》，单道这女色。正是：

色胆如天不自由，情深意密两绸缪。只思当日同欢庆，岂想萧墙有祸忧！ 贪快乐，恣优游，英雄壮士报冤仇。请看褒姒幽王事，血染龙泉是尽头。

且说西门庆和那婆娘，终朝取乐，任意歌饮，交得熟了，却不顾外人知道。这条街上远近人家，无有一人不知此事，却都惧怕西门庆那厮是个刁徒泼皮，谁肯来多管。

常言道：乐极生悲，否极泰来。光阴迅速，前后又早四十馀日。却说武松自从领了知县言语，监送车仗到东京亲戚处，投下了来书，交割了箱笼，街上闲行了几日，讨了回书，领一行人取路回阳谷县来。前后往回，恰好将及两个月。去时新春天气，回来三月初头。于路上只觉得神思不安，身心恍惚，赶回要见哥哥，且先去县里交纳了回书。知县见了大喜，看罢回书，已知金银宝物交得明白，赏了武松一锭大银，酒食管待，不必用说。武松回到下处，房里换了衣服鞋袜，戴上个新头巾，锁上了房门，一径投紫石街来。两边众邻舍看见武松回了，都吃一惊，大家捏两把汗，暗暗地说道：“这番萧墙祸起了！这个太岁归来，怎肯干休？必然弄出事来！”

且说武松到门前揭起帘子，探身入来，见了灵床子写着“亡夫武大郎之位”七个字，呆了，睁开双眼道：“莫不是我眼花了？”叫声：“嫂嫂，武二归来！”那西门庆正和那婆娘在楼上取乐，听得武松叫一声，惊得屁滚尿流，一直奔后门，从王婆家走了。那妇人应道：“叔叔少坐，奴便来也。”原来这婆娘自从药死了武大，那里肯带孝，每日只是浓妆艳抹，和西门庆做一处取乐。听得武松叫声“武二归来了”，慌忙去面盆里洗落了胭粉，拔去了首饰钗环，蓬松挽了个儿，脱去了红裙绣袄，旋穿上孝裙孝衫，便从楼上哽哽咽咽假哭下来。

武松道：“嫂嫂且住，休哭！我哥哥几时死了？得甚么症候？吃谁的药？”那妇人一头哭，一面说道：“你哥哥自从你转背一二十日，猛可的害急心疼起来。病了八九日，求神问卜，甚么药不吃过！医治不得，死了。撇得我好苦！”隔壁王婆听得，生怕决撒[4]，只得走过来帮他支吾。武松又道：“我的哥哥从来不曾有这般病，如何心疼便死了？”王婆道：“都头，却怎地这般说！天有不测风云，人有暂时祸福。谁保得长没事？”那妇人道：“亏杀了这个干娘！我又是个没脚蟹[5]，不是这个干娘，邻舍家谁肯来帮我！”武松道：“如今埋在那里？”妇人道：“我又独自一个，那里去寻坟地？没奈何，留了三日，把出去烧化了。”武松道：“哥哥死得几日了？”妇人道：“再两日，便是断七。”

武松沉吟了半晌，便出门去，径投县里来。开了锁，去房里换了一身素净衣服，便叫土兵打了一条麻绦系在腰里，身边藏了一把尖长柄短、背厚刃薄的解腕刀，取了些银两带在身边。叫了个土兵，锁上了房门，去县前买了些米面椒料等物，香烛冥纸，就晚到家敲门。那妇人开了门，武松叫土兵去安排羹饭。武松就灵床子前点起灯烛，铺设酒肴。到两个更次，安排得端正，武松扑翻身便拜道：“哥哥阴魂不远！你在世时软弱，今日死后不见分明。你若是负屈衔冤，被人害了，托梦与我，兄弟替你做主报仇！”把酒浇奠了，烧化冥用纸钱，武松放声大哭，哭得那两边邻舍无不凄惶。那妇人也在里面假哭。武松哭罢，将羹饭酒肴和土兵吃了，讨两条席子，叫土兵中门傍边睡，武松把条席子就灵床子前睡。那妇人自上楼去，下了楼门自睡。约莫将近三更时候，武松翻来覆去睡不着，看那土兵时，齁齁的却似死人一般挺着。武松爬将起来，看了那灵床子前琉璃灯半明半灭，侧耳听那更鼓时，正打三更三点。武松叹了一口气，坐在席子上自言自语，口里说道：“我哥哥生时懦弱，死了却有甚分明！”说犹未了，只见灵床子下卷起一阵冷气来。那冷气如何？但见：

无形无影，非雾非烟。盘旋似怪风侵骨冷，凛冽如煞气透肌寒。昏昏暗暗，灵前灯火失光明；惨惨幽幽，壁上纸钱飞散乱。隐隐遮藏食毒鬼，纷纷飘动引魂幡。

那阵冷气逼得武松毛发皆竖，定睛看时，只见个人从灵床底下钻将出来，叫声：“兄弟，我死得好苦！”武松看不仔细，却待向前来再问时，只见冷气散了，不见了人。武松一跤颠翻，在席子上坐地，寻思是梦非梦。回头看那土兵时，正睡着。武松想道：“哥哥这一死必然不明！却才正要报我知道，又被我的神气冲散了他的魂魄！”直在心里不题，等天明却又理会。

天色渐明了，土兵起来烧汤，武松洗漱了。那妇人也下楼来，看着武松道：“叔叔，夜来烦恼！”武松道：“嫂嫂，我哥哥端的甚么病死了？”那妇人道：“叔叔却怎地忘了？夜来已对叔叔说了，害心疼病死了。”武松道：“却赎谁的药吃？”那妇人道：“见有药贴在这里。”武松道：“却是谁买棺材？”那妇人道：“央及隔壁王干娘去买。”武松道：“谁来扛抬出去？”那妇人道：“是本处团头何九叔，尽是他维持出去。”武松道：“原来恁地。且去县里画卯却来。”便起身带了土兵，走到紫石街巷口，问土兵道：“你认得团头何九叔么？”土兵道：“都头恁地忘了？前项他也曾来与都头作庆。他家只在狮子街巷内住。”武松道：“你引我去。”土兵引武松到何九叔门前，武松道：“你自先去。”土兵去了。武松却揭起帘子，叫声：“何九叔在家么？”这何九叔却才起来，听得是武松来寻，吓得手忙脚乱，头巾也戴不迭，急急取了银子和骨殖藏在身边，便出来迎接道：“都头几时回来？”武松道：“昨日方回到这里。有句话闲说则个，请那尊步同往。”何九叔道：“小人便去。都头，且请拜茶。”武松道：“不必，免赐！”

两个一同出到巷口酒店里坐下，叫量酒人打两角酒来。何九叔起身道：“小人不曾与都头接风，何故反扰？”武松道：“且坐。”何九叔心里已猜八九分。量酒人一面筛酒，武松便不开口，且只顾吃酒。何九叔见他不做声，倒捏两把汗，却把些话来撩他。武松也不开言，并不把话来提起。酒已数杯，只见武松揭起衣裳，飕地掣出把尖刀来插在桌子上。量酒的都惊得呆了，那里肯近前看。何九叔面色青黄，不敢抖气。武松捋起双袖，握着尖刀，对何九叔道：“小子粗疏，还晓得冤各有头，债各有主。你休惊怕，只要实说，对我一一说知武大死的缘故，便不干涉你。我若伤了你，不是好汉。倘若有半句儿差错，我这口刀，立定教你身上添三四百个透明的窟窿！闲言不道，你只直说，我哥哥死的尸首是怎地模样？”武松道罢，一双手按住肐膝，两只眼睁得圆彪彪地看着。

何九叔去袖子里取出一个袋儿放在桌子上，道：“都头息怒。这个袋儿便是一个大证见。”武松用手打开，看那袋儿里时，两块酥黑骨头，一锭十两银子。便问道：“怎地见得是老大证见？”何九叔道：“小人并然不知前后因地。忽于正月二十二日在家，只见开茶坊的王婆来呼唤小人殓武大郎尸首。至日，行到紫石街巷口，迎见县前开生药铺的西门庆大郎，拦住邀小人同去酒店里，吃了一瓶酒。西门庆取出这十两银子付与小人，分付道：‘所殓的尸首，凡百事遮盖。’小人从来得知道那人是个刁徒，不容小人不接。吃了酒食，收了这银子，小人去到大郎家里，揭起千秋幡，只见七窍内有瘀血，唇口上有齿痕，系是生前中毒的尸首。小人本待声张起来，只是又没苦主，他的娘子已自道是害心疼病死了。因此小人不敢声言，自咬破舌尖，只做中了恶，扶归家来了。只是火家自去殓了尸首，不曾接受一文。第三日，听得扛出去烧化，小人买了一陌纸去山头假做人情，使转了王婆并令嫂，暗拾了这两块骨头，包在家里。这骨殖酥黑，系是毒药身死的证见。这张纸上，写着年月日时，并送丧人的姓名，便是小人口词了。都头详察！”武松道：“奸夫还是何人？”何九叔道：“却不知是谁。小人闲听得说来，有个卖梨儿的郓哥，那小厮曾和大郎去茶坊里捉奸。这条街上，谁人不知。都头要知备细，可问郓哥。”武松道：“是。既然有这个人时，一同去走一遭。”

武松收了刀，入鞘藏了，算还酒钱，便同何九叔望郓哥家里来。却好走到他门前，只见那小猴子挽着个柳笼栲栳在手里，籴米归来。何九叔叫道：“郓哥，你认得这位都头么？”郓哥道：“解大虫来时，我便认得了。你两个寻我做甚么？”郓哥那小厮也瞧了八分，便说道：“只是一件，我的老爹六十岁，没人养赡，我却难相伴你们吃官司耍。”武松道：“好兄弟！”便去身边取五两来银子，道：“郓哥，你把去与老爹做盘缠，跟我来说话。”郓哥自心里想道：“这五两银子，如何不盘缠得三五个月？便陪侍他吃官司也不妨。”将银子和米把与老儿，便跟了二人出巷口一个饭店楼上来。武松叫过卖造三分饭来，对郓哥道：“兄弟，你虽年纪幼小，倒有养家孝顺之心。却才与你这些银子，且做盘缠，我有用着你处。事务了毕时，我再与你十四五两银子做本钱。你可备细说与我：你怎地和我哥哥去茶坊里捉奸？”

郓哥道：“我说与你，你却不要气苦。我从今年正月十三日，提得一篮儿雪梨，我去寻西门庆大郎挂一勾子，一地里没寻他处。问人时，说道：‘他在紫石街王婆茶坊里，和卖炊饼的武大老婆做一处；如今刮上了他，每日只在那里。’我听得了这话，一径奔去寻他，叵耐王婆老猪狗拦住不放我入房里去。吃我把话来侵他底子，那猪狗便打我一顿栗暴，直叉我出来，将我梨儿都倾在街上。我气苦了，去寻你大郎，说与他备细，他便要去捉奸。我道：‘你不济事，西门庆那厮手脚了得。你若捉他不着，反吃他告了，倒不好。我明日和你约在巷口取齐，你便少做些炊饼出来。我若张见西门庆入茶坊里去时，我先入去，你便寄了担儿等着。只看我丢出篮儿来，你便抢入来捉奸。’我这日又提了一篮梨儿，径去茶坊里。被我骂那老猪狗，那婆子便来打我，吃我先把篮儿撇出街上，一头顶住那老狗在壁上。武大郎却抢入去时，婆子要去拦截，却被我顶住了，只叫得：‘武大来也。’原来倒吃他两个顶住了门。大郎只在房门外声张，却不提防西门庆那厮，开了房门奔出来，把大郎一脚踢倒了。我见那妇人随后便出来，扶大郎不动，我慌忙也自走了。过得五七日，说大郎死了。我却不知怎地死了。”武松听道：“你这话是实了？你却不要说谎！”郓哥道：“便到官府，我也只是这般说。”武松道：“说得是，兄弟！”便讨饭来吃了。还了饭钱，三个人下楼来。何九叔道：“小人告退。”武松道：“且随我来，正要你们与我证一证。”把两个一直带到县厅上。

知县见了，问道：“都头告甚么？”武松告说：“小人亲兄武大，被西门庆与嫂通奸，下毒药谋杀性命，这两个便是证见。要相公做主则个！”知县先问了何九叔并郓哥口词，当日与县吏商议。原来县吏都是与西门庆有首尾[6]的，官人自不必得说，因此官吏通同计较道：“这件事难以理问。”知县道：“武松，你也是个本县都头，不省得法度？自古道：捉奸见双，捉贼见赃，杀人见伤。你那哥哥的尸首又没了，你又不曾捉得他奸，如今只凭这两个言语，便问他杀人公事，莫非忒偏向么？你不可造次，须要自己寻思，当行即行。”武松怀里去取出两块酥黑骨头，一张纸，告道：“复告相公，这个须不是小人捏合出来的。”知县看了道：“你且起来，待我从长商议。可行时便与你拿问。”何九叔、郓哥都被武松留在房里。当日西门庆得知，却使心腹人来县里许官吏银两。

次日早晨，武松在厅上告禀，催逼知县拿人。谁想这官人贪图贿赂，回出骨殖并银子来，说道：“武松，你休听外人挑拨你和西门庆做对头。这件事不明白，难以对理。圣人云：经目之事，犹恐未真；背后之言，岂能全信？不可一时造次。”狱吏便道：“都头，但凡人命之事，须要尸、伤 、病、物、踪五件事全，方可推问得。”武松道：“既然相公不准所告，且却又理会。”收了银子和骨殖，再付与何九叔收了。下厅来到自己房内，叫土兵安排饭食与何九叔同郓哥吃，留在房里：“相等一等，我去便来也。”又自带了三两个土兵，离了县衙，将了砚瓦笔墨，就买了三五张纸藏在身边；就叫两个土兵买了个猪首，一只鹅，一双鸡，一担酒，和些果品之类，安排在家里。约莫也是巳牌时候，带了个土兵来到家中。那妇人已知告状不准，放下心不怕他，大着胆看他怎的。武松叫道：“嫂嫂下来，有句话说。”那婆娘慢慢地行下楼来，问道：“有甚么话说？”武松道：“明日是亡兄断七。你前日恼了众邻舍街坊，我今日特地来把杯酒，替嫂嫂相谢众邻。”那妇人大剌剌地说道：“谢他们怎地？”武松道：“礼不可缺。”唤土兵先去灵床子前，明晃晃地点起两枝蜡烛，焚起一炉香，列下一陌纸钱，把祭物去灵前摆了，堆盘满宴，铺下酒食果品之类。叫一个土兵后面盪酒，两个土兵门前安排桌凳，又有两个前后把门。

武松自分付定了，便叫：“嫂嫂来待客，我去请来。”先请隔壁王婆。那婆子道：“不消生受，教都头作谢。”武松道：“多多相扰了干娘，自有个道理。先备一杯菜酒，休得推故。”那婆子取了招儿[7]，收拾了门户，从后头走过来。武松道：“嫂嫂坐主位，干娘对席。”婆子已知道西门庆回话了，放心着吃酒。两个都心里道：“看他怎地！”武松又请这边下邻开银铺的姚二郎姚文卿。二郎道：“小人忙些，不劳都头生受。”武松拖住便道：“一杯淡酒，又不长久，便请到家。”那姚二郎只得随顺到来，便教去王婆肩下坐了。又去对门请两家：一家是开纸马铺的赵四郎赵仲铭。四郎道：“小人买卖撇不得，不及陪奉。”武松道：“如何使得？众高邻都在那里了。”不由他不来，被武松扯到家里道：“老人家爷父一般。”便请在嫂嫂肩下坐了。又请对门那卖冷酒店的胡正卿。那人原是吏员出身，便瞧道有些尴尬，那里肯来，被武松不管他，拖了过来，却请去赵四郎肩下坐了。武松道：“王婆，你隔壁是谁？”王婆道：“他家是卖馉饳儿的张公。”却好正在屋里，见武松入来，吃了一惊，道：“都头没甚话说？”武松道：“家间多扰了街坊，相请吃杯淡酒。”那老儿道：“哎呀！老子不曾有些礼数到都头家，却如何请老子吃酒？”武松道：“不成微敬，便请到家。”老儿吃武松拖了过来，请去姚二郎肩下坐地。说话的，为何先坐的不走了？原来都有土兵前后把着门，都似监禁的一般。

且说武松请到四家邻舍，并王婆和嫂嫂，共是六人。武松掇条凳子，却坐在横头，便叫土兵把前后门关了。那后面土兵自来筛酒。武松唱个大喏，说道：“众高邻休怪小人粗卤，胡乱请些个。”众邻舍道：“小人们都不曾与都头洗泥接风，如今倒来反扰！”武松笑道：“不成意思，众高邻休得笑话则个。”土兵只顾筛酒。众人怀着鬼胎，正不知怎地。看看酒至三杯，那胡正卿便要起身，说道：“小人忙些个。”武松叫道：“去不得。既来到此，便忙也坐一坐。”那胡正卿心头十五个吊桶打水，七上八下，暗暗地寻思道：“既是好意请我们吃酒，如何却这般相待，不许人动身？”只得坐下。武松道：“再把酒来筛。”土兵斟到第四杯酒，前后共吃了七杯酒过，众人却似吃了吕太后一千个筵宴[8]。只见武松喝叫土兵：“且收拾过了杯盘，少间再吃。”武松抹了桌子。众邻舍却待起身，武松把两只手只一拦，道：“正要说话。一干高邻在这里，中间高邻那位会写字？”姚二郎便道：“此位胡正卿极写得好。”武松便唱个喏道：“相烦则个！”便卷起双袖，去衣裳底下飕地只一掣，掣出那口尖刀来。右手四指笼着刀靶，大母指按住掩心，两只圆彪彪怪眼睁起，道：“诸位高邻在此，小人冤各有头，债各有主，只要众位做个证见！”

只见武松左手拿住嫂嫂，右手指定王婆，四家邻舍惊得目睁口呆，罔知所措，都面面相觑，不敢做声。武松道：“高邻休怪，不必吃惊！武松虽是粗卤汉子，便死也不怕，还省得有冤报冤，有仇报仇，并不伤犯众位，只烦高邻做个证见。若有一位先走的，武松翻过脸来休怪，教他先吃我五七刀了去！武松便偿他命也不妨。”众邻舍道：“却吃不得饭了！”武松看着王婆喝道：“兀那老猪狗听着！我的哥哥这个性命都在你的身上，慢慢地却问你！”回过脸来看着妇人骂道：“你那淫妇听着！你把我的哥哥性命怎地谋害了？从实招了，我便饶你！”那妇人道：“叔叔，你好没道理！你哥哥自害心疼病死了，干我甚事！”说犹未了，武松把刀肐查了插在桌子上，用左手揪住那妇人头髻，右手劈胸提住，把桌子一脚踢倒了，隔桌子把这妇人轻轻地提将过来，一跤放翻在灵床子上，两脚踏住。右手拔起刀来，指定王婆道：“老猪狗！你从实说！”那婆子只要脱身脱不得，只得道：“不消都头发怒，老身自说便了。”

武松叫土兵取过纸墨笔砚，排在桌子上，把刀指着胡正卿道：“相烦你与我听一句写一句。”胡正卿肐抖着道：“小人便写。”讨了些砚水，磨起墨来。胡正卿拿起笔，拂开纸道：“王婆，你实说！”那婆子道：“又不干我事，与我无干！”武松道：“老猪狗，我都知了，你赖那个去！你不说时，我先剐了这个淫妇，后杀你这老狗！”提起刀来，望那妇人脸上便两。那妇人慌忙叫道：“叔叔，且饶我！你放我起来，我说便了！”武松一提，提起那婆娘，跪在灵床子前。武松喝一声：“淫妇快说！”那妇人惊得魂魄都没了，只得从实招说，将那时放帘子因打着西门庆起，并做衣裳入马[9]通奸，一一地说；次后来怎生踢了武大，因何设计下药，王婆怎地教唆拨置，从头至尾说了一遍。武松再叫他说，却叫胡正卿写了。王婆道：“咬虫！你先招了，我如何赖得过，只苦了老身！”王婆也只得招认了。把这婆子口词，也叫胡正卿写了。从头至尾都说在上面，叫他两个都点指画了字；就叫四家邻舍书了名，也画了字。叫土兵解搭膊来，背剪绑了这老狗，卷了口词，藏在怀里。叫土兵取碗酒来，供养在灵床子前，拖过这妇人来跪在灵前，喝那婆子也跪在灵前。武松道：“哥哥灵魂不远，兄弟武二与你报仇雪恨！”叫土兵把纸钱点着。那妇人见头势不好，却待要叫，被武松脑揪[10]倒来，两只脚踏住他两只胳膊，扯开胸脯衣裳。说时迟，那时快，把尖刀去胸前只一剜，口里衔着刀，双手去斡开胸脯，取出心肝五脏，供养在灵前。肐查一刀，便割下那妇人头来，血流满地。四家邻舍，吃了一惊，都掩了脸，见他凶了，又不敢动，只得随顺他。武松叫土兵去楼上取下一床被来，把妇人头包了，揩了刀，插在鞘里。洗了手，唱个喏，说道：“有劳高邻，甚是休怪。且请众位楼上少坐，待武二便来。”四家邻舍都面面相看，不敢不依他，只得都上楼去坐了。武松分付土兵，也教押那婆子上楼去。关了楼门，着两个土兵在楼下看守。

武松包了妇人那颗头，一直奔西门庆生药铺前来，看着主管唱个喏：“大官人宅上在么？”主管道：“却才出去。”武松道：“借一步，闲说一句话。”那主管也有些认得武松，不敢不出来。武松一引引到侧首僻净巷内，武松翻过脸来道：“你要死却是要活？”主管慌道：“都头在上，小人又不曾伤犯了都头。”武松道：“你要死，休说西门庆去向；你若要活，实对我说，西门庆在那里？”主管道：“却才和一个相识，去狮子桥下大酒楼上吃酒。”武松听了，转身便走。那主管惊得半晌移脚不动，自去了。

且说武松径奔到狮子桥下酒楼前，便问酒保道：“西门庆大郎和甚人吃酒？”酒保道：“和一个一般的财主，在楼上边街阁儿里吃酒。”武松一直撞到楼上，去阁子前张时，窗眼里见西门庆坐着主位，对面一个坐着客席，两个唱的粉头坐在两边。武松把那被包打开一抖，那颗人头血渌渌的滚出来。武松左手提了人头，右手拔出尖刀，挑开帘子，钻将入来，把那妇人头望西门庆脸上掼将来。西门庆认得是武松，吃了一惊，叫声：“哎呀！”便跳起在凳子上去，一只脚跨上窗槛，要寻走路，见下面是街，跳不下去，心里正慌 。说时迟，那时快，武松却用手略按一按，托地已跳在桌子上，把些盏儿碟儿都踢下来。两个唱的行院惊得走不动。那个财主官人慌了脚手，也惊倒了。西门庆见来得凶，便把手虚指一指，早飞起右脚来。武松只顾奔入去，见他脚起，略闪一闪，恰好那一脚正踢中武松右手，那口刀踢将起来，直落下街心里去了。西门庆见踢去了刀，心里便不怕他，右手虚照一照，左手一拳，照着武松心窝里打来。却被武松略躲个过，就势里从胁下钻入来，左手带住头，连肩胛只一提，右手早捽[11]住西门庆左脚，叫声：“下去！”那西门庆一者冤魂缠定，二乃天理难容，三来怎当武松勇力，只见头在下，脚在上，倒撞落在当街心里去了，跌得个发昏章第十一[12]。街上两边人都吃了一惊。武松伸手去凳子边提了淫妇的头，也钻出窗子外，涌身望下只一跳，跳在当街上，先抢了那口刀在手里。看这西门庆已自跌得半死，直挺挺在地下，只把眼来动，武松按住，只一刀，割下西门庆的头来。把两颗头相结做一处，提在手里，把着那口刀，一直奔回紫石街来。叫土兵开了门，将两颗人头供养在灵前，把那碗冷酒浇奠了，说道：“哥哥魂灵不远，早生天界！兄弟与你报仇，杀了奸夫和淫妇。今日就行烧化。”便叫土兵，楼上请高邻下来，把那婆子押在前面。武松拿着刀，提了两颗人头，再对四家邻舍道：“我还有一句话，对你们四位高邻说则个。”那四家邻舍叉手拱立，尽道：“都头但说，我众人一听尊命。”

武松说出这几句话来，有分教：名标千古，声播万年。直教英雄相聚满山寨，好汉同心赴水洼。正是：古今壮士谈英勇，猛烈强人仗义忠。毕竟武松对四家邻舍说出甚言语来，且听下回分解。

[1] 胡卢提——含糊、笼统、糊里糊涂、马马虎虎等意思。有时也写作“葫芦提”、“胡卢题”等等。

[2] 皂丝麻线——线索、痕迹、牵连等意思。

[3] 出热——热心给别人帮忙。

[4] 决撒——败露、识破、坏了事之类的意思。

[5] 没脚蟹——意思说行动不得。一般的指六亲无靠的妇女。

[6] 首尾——勾结，关系，干系。

[7] 招儿——招牌。

[8] 吕太后一千个筵宴——刘邦（汉高祖）死后，他的老婆吕雉专政，人称吕太后。吕雉请群臣吃酒，用军法劝酒，有一人不肯吃酒，当场被杀了头。因此，后来有“吕太后的筵席”这句谚语，表示这酒不是好吃的。

[9] 入马——上手的意思。

[10] 脑揪——从脑后一把抓住。

[11] 捽（zuó）——抓、捉。

[12] 发昏章第十一——发昏、昏迷的戏谑语。“发昏章第十一”是套用有的古书“某某章第几”的句式，无义。

CHAPTER 25. He Jiushu Steals the Bones; Wu Song Offers a Man’s Head as Sacrifice

WHEN He Jiushu saw these marks he fell down in a faint and the corpse burners rushed in and lifted him up. Grandma Wang called out, “He has been made sick by some poison! Bring some water!” She got the water herself and taking it in her mouth spurted it over He Jiushu’s face. Slowly he recovered consciousness. Grandma Wang then told the corpse burners to take him home. They took a leaf of door, placed him on it, and carried him off. His people received him and placed him on a bed where he went to sleep.

His wife cried and asked, “He went out this morning laughing and in good spirits. How is it that he returns like this? He has never had such an attack as this before.” She sat at the side of the bed sobbing very bitterly. He Jiushu opened his eyes and seeing that the corpse burners had all gone he then explained all that had happened and told his wife that the corpse showed signs of poisoning. “But I did not say anything as I was also afraid there was no man there who would take the matter up. If I had said anything would it not have been like disturbing a wasp, and getting stung? If I had stupidly sanctioned the corpse being put in the coffin then I should have had to face his younger brother, Wu Song, the Inspector who killed a tiger on Jingyang Ridge, and who can kill men without moving an eyelash. When he returns there is bound to be a row.”

“I heard a man say a few days ago that the boy, Yun Ge, had assisted Wu the Elder in an endeavor to catch the adulterer in a tea-house on Zishi Street,” said his wife. “It must have been connected with this case. You had better go and cross-examine him. At present there is no difficulty, and you can just allow the corpse burners to put the corpse in the coffin, and they can get their instructions from the wife as to when the funeral will take place. If they postpone the funeral until Wu Song returns we can assume that everything is really above-board. Even if they bury the dead before he arrives we need not worry. But if they arrange for the body to be cremated then indeed we may expect that there has been something strange. You can attend the funeral without creating any suspicion, and after the cremation you can get some bones which, and together with those ten taels of silver will be very important proofs. If Wu Song does not make any inquiries then Ximen Qing will not ‘lose face,’ and everything will be finished.”

“A wise wife in the home I have,” said He Jiushu. “You see things quite clearly.” Forthwith he told the corpse burners that he was sick and they themselves could go and dress the body, and ask Pan Jinlian when the funeral would take place. They must report to him what she said. If she gave them money they could divide it equally among themselves, but if she wanted to give him money he would not accept it.

The corpse burners went to Pan Jinlian’s house, and duly dressed the body. After everything had been arranged they returned to He Jiushu, and told him that Jinlian had said that the funeral would take place after three days, and they were to cremate the body outside the town. They then divided the money, and departed.

He Jiushu said to his wife, “What you said has come true, and I will go to the funeral and get the bones as you suggested.”

During the night Grandma Wang had repeatedly urged Jinlian to stay with the dead. The next day she got four monks to intone their prayers. On the third day the corpse burners came to carry away the coffin, and many of the neighbors followed in the procession. Jinlian was in her white mourning clothes, and on the way she pretended to bewail her loss. When outside the town they came to the crematorium, where the attendants were told to get the fire ready. There they saw He Jiushu with paper joss money waiting for them, and Grandma Wang and that woman Jinlian spoke to him saying, “We are glad to see that you are better.”

“Some days ago I bought some cakes from Wu the Elder and was worried because I had not paid him, so I decided to come to his funeral and pay this paper money to his spirit.”

“How honest you are!” said Grandma Wang.

When He Jiushu had burnt his offering, he told Jinlian that the men were now ready for the cremating. The ladies thanked him for his trouble to which he replied that he was only too pleased to be able to do some assistance. He then suggested that they might retire to the guest room in the adjoining temple and entertain the neighbors. He would attend to the other part of the business. When they had gone he supervised the burning of the corpse, and when it was over he took two bones and dipped them in a pool of water near at hand. He saw that they were quite black. After hiding the bones he went to the guest room of the temple, and joined in the general conversation. After a time the corpse burners gathered the bones of the body and cooled them in the pool of water. At last all the neighbors had left on their way home. He Jiushu took the two bones home, wrapped them in paper, and recorded carefully on a paper the date, and also the names of the neighbors who had been to the funeral. He then wrapped them along with the silver in a bundle, and put them carefully away in the house.

Upon returning home Pan Jinlian erected a tablet in the front room, and wrote on it the characters: “In memory of the late Wu the Elder.” She then placed a glass lamp in front of the mourning curtain and hung there much paper joss money, gold and silver imitations. But every day she received Ximen Qing in her bedroom. Previously at Grandma Wang’s place there had always been need for caution, but now in her own house there was not the least cause for any restraint, and Ximen Qing could stay there all night. All the neighbors knew what was going on, but they were all so afraid of Ximen Qing’s power and influence that they dared not say a word about it. There is a saying, “Extreme pleasure is followed by sorrow; extreme sorrow must be followed by something better.”

Now let us turn to Wu Song. Time passes with great speed. He duly reached the Eastern Capital, and presented the magistrate’s letter and the presents to the latter’s relative in accordance with the orders he had received. After doing this he had several days of leisure, and spent them strolling about the streets. Then he received the reply, and departed for Yanggu County. Altogether his journey there to and fro, had taken about two months. When he had left it was the middle of winter, but upon his return it was the beginning of spring. On the return journey he did not feel easy in his mind, and was anxious to get back and see his elder brother again. Upon entering the town he went straight to the yamen, to present the reply, and the magistrate was much pleased to see him. The magistrate reading the letter, knew that all the presents had been delivered, and he rewarded Wu Song with an ingot of silver, and entertained him with wine and food.

Upon reaching his lodging Wu Song changed his clothes, shoes, and socks, and put on a new turban. He then locked the door, and left for his brother’s in Zishi Street.

The neighbors on all sides were all rather upset at seeing Wu Song coming back. They whispered to one another. “Now trouble will arise within the doors, but what will be the end of it? There will certainly be some trouble.”

Upon reaching the house he lifted the door screen and entering he saw the mourning curtain and the tablet with the inscription, “In memory of the late Wu the Elder,” at which he was dumbfounded. He said to himself, “Surely my eyes are deceiving me.” He then called out, “Sister-in-law, I have returned.” Now Ximen Qing happened to be upstairs with Jinlian. At the time when he heard Wu Song say this, he was panic-stricken and rushed out of the back door to Grandma Wang’s house. Jinlian called out, “Brother-in-law, please sit down, and I will come down in a moment.” Now although her husband had been dead only a short time she was not in mourning. So she hurriedly washed the rouge off her face, took the jewelry out of her hair, and ruffled up her hair. She took off her red embroidered skirt and coat, and put on the white mourning clothes. She then commenced an imitation of crying.

Wu Song called out for her to stop crying, and to tell him when his brother had died; and of what sickness and who had given medicine to him.

She replied between her sobs, “Your brother was suddenly seized with some heart disease, about twenty days after you had left. He was sick for about nine days, and then he prayed to the gods, and sought to ascertain by divination whether he would get better. He took all kinds of medicine, but they did him no good, and at last he died. He left me with nothing but grief.”

Now in the next house Grandma Wang was listening at the partition wall, and when she heard this she was afraid that Wu Song would soon find out the truth. So she at once hurried to come across to Jinlian’s assistance, by interjecting evasions.

But Wu Song continued, “My brother had never had any heart trouble how could he die of this illness?”

Grandma Wang who had just arrived replied, “Inspector Wu, why do you ask such a question? There is a saying, ‘Man’s fate is as uncertain as the weather.’ Who can guarantee at any time what is going to happen?”

“I was like a crab without legs,” said Jinlian. “I could do nothing, and I am much indebted to this lady and many neighbors who helped me.”

“Where was he buried?” he asked.

“I was by myself so how could I go to find a burial place?” replied Jinlian. “After three days I had his remains cremated.”

“How long is it since my brother died?”

“In two days more it will be the seventh week since the funeral,” Jinlian replied.

Wu Song was wrapt in thought, but said nothing, and then he left the house, and went to the yamen. He unlocked the door of his quarters, and put on white mourning clothes. He summoned a soldier to bring a hempen rope which he tied round his waist according to custom. He then concealed in his clothes a very sharp dagger, and some silver. He then ordered the soldier to lock the door and go with him to buy some rice, flour, vegetables, incense, candles, and paper joss money.

When this had been done it was evening and they went again to Wu the Elder’s house, and Jinlian opened the door, and Wu Song ordered the soldier to prepare a meal. He then lighted a candle, and placed it with some food in front of the memorial tablet. All was ready by about 10 P.M. when Wu Song knelt down and offered sacrifices to the spirit of his brother, and prayed, “Elder brother, your soul is not far away. When you were alive you were good-natured; but now that you are dead you cannot tell me who cheated you. But if anyone has injured you I ask you to give me the information in a dream, and I will take vengeance for your wrong.” He then poured the sacrificial wine on the ground, burnt the paper money, and sobbed bitterly. The neighbors on both sides heard him crying, and could not help being sorry for him. Jinlian in the inner room also kept up her imitation wailing. When Wu Song had stopped weeping he took the sacrificial food and wine and invited the two soldiers to join him in eating some. He then asked for two mats, and told the soldiers to sleep on them at the two doors of the room. He himself lay down near the mourning curtain to sleep. Upstairs Jinlian fastened the trapdoor of her room before going to sleep. But Wu Song could not sleep, and frequently turned over on his mat. The two soldiers however were sound asleep, and he heard them snoring. At last about midnight he got up, and noticed that the light in the glass lamp was just flickering. The watchmen outside were beating the hour of midnight on their drums. He heaved a sigh, and sitting down on the mat he soliloquized, “My brother was always weak, and now that he is dead his spirit will be weak.” Just then there came a strong gust of cold wind from underneath the curtains that whirled round in a circle, blew out the flickering flame in the lamp, and blew the paper money around the room. The hair on Wu Song’s head stood on end, and looking around he saw the shape of a man come from under the curtain and say, “Younger brother! I died a miserable death.” But as Wu Song was not sure whether he had heard correctly he looked fixedly, but then he failed to see anything, and the cold wind had also gone. He sat down on his mat, and wondered whether he had seen and heard anything or was it really the dream he had expected. The two soldiers were certainly still there snoring. He thought that his brother must have died of an unknown trouble, that his spirit might have come to tell him about it, but had been vanished in the presence of his valor at once. But Wu Song kept all this to himself, and did not speak to anyone about it.

At last the dawn came, and the soldiers arose to boil some water. When Jinlian came downstairs she asked Wu Song whether he had slept well. Wu Song did not reply to this, but asked, “Sister-in-law, of what sickness did my brother die?”

“Brother-in-law, how is it that you forget it? I told you all about it yesterday. He died of some disease of the heart.”

“But whose medicine did he take?”

“I have the prescription for the medicine here,” she replied.

“And who bought the coffin?”

“It was bought by our neighbor Grandma Wang.”

“And who bore the coffin away?” he asked.

“That was arranged by the neighborhood chief—He Jiushu.”

“So it was like that. Well, I must now go and attend roll call at the yamen.” He then left with the two soldiers, and when outside on the Zishi Street he asked them if they knew He Jiushu, the neighborhood chief. They replied that they knew him well, and that he lived on the Shizi Street. He asked them to take him there, and when they reached the house he dismissed them.

Wu Song pushed the door open, and called out, “Is He Jiushu at home?” When He Jiushu heard this he was very flurried, but he quickly got the parcel containing the bones and silver and hid them in his clothes; he then went to meet Wu Song. He greeted him with the question, “Inspector, when did you return?”

Wu Song replied that he had come back yesterday, and as he had something to discuss with him he asked him to accompany him to some other place.

“Inspector, I will accompany you, but before we go please take a little tea.”

Wu Song declined the invitation. They both then went to a restaurant in an alley, and ordered wine.

“Inspector, you have just arrived, and I ought to ask you to drink wine. It is contrary to the usual procedure for you to ask me to take wine.” He Jiushu however really had a good idea of what was coming. The waiter brought the wine, and they drank it, but still Wu Song did not speak. He Jiushu did not like this continued silence, and became confounded as to the outcome, so he thought he might introduce some other matter, but Wu Song paid no attention to anything he said. When, however, they had drunk several cups of wine, Wu Song at last took off his coat, and seizing his dagger, stuck it in the table where it stood erect. The waiter was startled at this, and retreated to a distant part of the room. He Jiushu’s face turned yellow, and he was holding his breath. Wu Song rolled up his sleeves, and grasping the dagger with one hand, he pointed with the other at He Jiushu and said, “I am a rough fellow, but still I know ‘a wrong has its instigator, and a debt has its lender.’ You need not be afraid, as I only want you to speak the truth. Tell me the cause of my elder brother’s death, and nothing shall trouble you. If I hurt you I would not be a man. But if there is the slightest attempt at deceiving me I will take this dagger, and drill several hundred big holes in your body. Tell me clearly the conditions of my brother’s body.” So saying he planted both hands on his thighs, and looked fixedly at He Jiushu with wild, fierce staring eyes.

He Jiushu took the parcel from his sleeve, and placing it on the table said, “Inspector, please restrain your temper. Here is the important proof.” Wu Song opened the parcel, and saw two brittle black bones and an ingot of ten taels of silver. He asked how these things could be proofs, and He Jiushu then explained all that had happened.

“Who is the adulterer?” asked Wu Song.

“I do not know who he is,” replied He Jiushu, “but I have heard people say that a boy named Yun Ge went with Wu the Elder to a tea-house to seize the adulterer. In this street I think everybody knows who he is. If you want to go into this matter carefully, you better see the boy Yun Ge first.”

“Very well,” said Wu Song, “we will go together, and find him.” He took his dagger, and put it back in the sheath; hid the bones and silver in his clothes, and paid the bill for the wine. They then departed, and soon reached the home of Yun Ge. There they saw the boy with a basket made of willow twigs over his arm, containing rice which he had evidently just been out to buy.

“Yun Ge!” called out He Jiushu, “do you recognize this Inspector?”

“Of course, ever since the big beast was killed and carried to the city,” replied the boy. “But what do you two want with me?” Really the boy had a good idea what it was about, but he continued, “There is, however, one thing; my father is sixty years old, and has no one to look after him so that I cannot take part with you two in a court dispute.”

“Good younger brother,” said Wu Song, “here take these five taels of silver to your father, and then come back as I have something to say to you.”

Yun Ge knew that the silver would be enough to cover their living expenses for about four months. So he thought that he might run the risk even of presenting himself at the court. He gave the money and basket of rice to his father, and then accompanied the two men to a restaurant in an alley. Wu Song ordered rice for all three, and then spoke to the boy, “You are a very young boy, yet you know your filial duty of supporting a family. I have already given you five taels of silver, but I have a matter for you to do, and when that is satisfactorily settled I will give you another fifteen taels which you may use as a capital. Now tell me, how did you go with my brother to a tea-house to seize an adulterer?”

Yun Ge then recited all the details of the affair omitting nothing, and when he had finished Wu Song asked him, “Is this really true? You must not tell me any lies.”

“Even if you took me to the yamen I would say exactly the same,” replied the boy.

Wu Song was satisfied and when they had eaten the rice he paid the money, and they all three left. He Jiushu wanted to go home, but Wu Song asked him to accompany them to the yamen to make a statement there. So they all went to the yamen, and when the magistrate saw them he asked what accusation the Inspector had to make.

Wu Song stated, “My brother’s wife has committed adultery with Ximen Qing, and also poisoned my brother. These are my two witnesses. I request you to take action in this case.”

The magistrate then heard what He Jiushu and Yun Ge had to say. The magistrate discussed the matter with his officers, but as they were all on intimate terms with Ximen Qing, they did not like to act in the matter. The magistrate then spoke to Wu Song, “You are an Inspector in the yamen, and should know the law in these matters? There is an ancient saying, ‘In arresting adulterers you must get both; in arresting a thief you must get the stolen goods; when a man is killed you must see the wound.’ In this case you have not seen your dead brother’s corpse, but have listened to these people’s statements so there may be some mistake somewhere. You had better consider the matter carefully, and if you find it correct then we will act.”

Wu Song produced the two bones, the ingot of silver, and the paper with the names on, and gave them to the magistrate. He appealed again to him. “I again press my case. These proofs have not been fabricated.”

The magistrate replied, “You may get up now, and I will reconsider the matter. If I find that you have a strong case then I will arrest the adulterer.”

Wu Song detained the two witnesses in his quarters. Now Ximen Qing heard of what had happened in the yamen, so he sent a confidential servant to the secretary of the magistrate to promise bribery.

Early the following day Wu Song again entered the court, and strongly urged the magistrate to issue a warrant. But to his surprise the magistrate handed him back the bones, etc. and said, “You had better not listen to other people’s talk, and become so keenly opposed to Ximen Qing. The case is not clear to me so that I cannot act. The sage said, ‘Even if you see a thing done, yet you cannot be sure that it is really so. How can you believe what is said behind one’s back?’ Don’t get nervous so easily.”

A jailer who was there said, “In cases of murder we require to see the corpse, examine the wounds, ascertain the cause of death, obtain the things used, and find traces or clues. If all these five necessaries are obtainable then the case can be taken up.”

“As Your Magistrate will not take the matter up now, I’ll think of another plan,” said Wu Song. He took the bones, etc., and handed them back to He Jiushu. He then went to his quarters with the two witnesses, and had a meal prepared for them. After the meal he asked them to wait there till he came back.

He took three soldiers with him, and hid in his clothes an ink slab, a brush, ink stick, and about five sheets of paper. He sent two of the soldiers to buy a pig’s head, a goose, a chicken, some wine, and fruit, and take them to Pan Jinlian’s house. He then took the one soldier with him to the same place where he arrived about 10 A.M.

Jinlian was already aware that his appeal for justice at the yamen had failed so she was not afraid of him, and felt quite confident of herself. Wu Song called out, “Sister-in-law, please come downstairs as I have something to say to you.” She presently came down, and then asked him what he had to say.

“Tomorrow will he the end of the seventh week for sacrificing to my elder brother’s spirit. You have caused trouble to the neighbors, so now I am thinking of giving them a feast so I have bought some wine, etc.”

She was pleased with this, but asked what he wanted to thank them for.

“We must not be stinting in courtesy.” He then told the soldier to light two candles in front of the mourning curtain. He also placed there an incense bowl, and spread the paper money on the floor. The food was arranged on the table ready for a feast. One soldier was sent into the kitchen to warm the wine. Two soldiers set out the tables and chairs and two others were put as sentries at the front and back doors. When all this had been arranged Wu Song asked Jinlian to stay there to receive guests, as he would go and invite them.

The first person he went to was Grandma Wang, who lived next door, but she declined the invitation. He reminded her that she had been of great assistance before, and this was why he wished her to come to the feast. He had provided food and wine, and as all was now ready he hoped that she would come. She at last agreed, took down the shop signboard, closed the door, and then went out by the back door to Jinlian’s house. Wu Song there asked Jinlian to take the seat of honor, and Grandma Wang sit opposite to her. Grandma Wang had got the news from Ximen Qing so she drank the wine without restraint. But both women were wondering what Wu Song was going to do.

Wu Song then went and invited a silversmith named Yao Wenqing to come to the feast, but he said he was too busy. But Wu Song pressed him to go, and asked him even to drink one cup of wine, and then leave. At last Yao agreed to go, and Wu Song got him to sit next to Grandma Wang.

Wu Song then called on another neighbor called Zhao Zhongming who was a maker of paper horses for funerals. He also pretended to be very busy in his shop, and begged to be excused. But Wu Song pressed the invitation, and said that most of the neighbors were already there so he could not stay away. At last he also consented and upon reaching the house Wu Song asked him to sit next to Jinlian on account of his venerable age.

Wu Song next went to invite Hu Zhengqing to the feast. He had a shop for the sale of cold wine, but as he had previously been an employee at the yamen he suspected that Wu Song was arranging something so he declined to go. But Wu Song would not agree to this, and at last dragged him off by force, and made him sit next to Zhao.

Wu Song asked Grandma Wang who was her neighbor on the other side. She replied that he was named Zhang, and sold noodles. When Wu Song entered Zhang’s house the latter appeared to be surprised, and asked what he wanted. When he heard of the invitation to the feast he also declined, but after some persuasion he went, and Wu Song placed him next to Yao.

When these people were once inside they found they could not depart as there was a soldier at both the front and the back door. There were altogether six persons at the feast. Wu Song took a stool, and sat down at one side of the table. He then told the soldiers to close the doors. When fresh warm wine had been served by the soldiers, Wu Song saluted the gathering and addressed them, “I hope that you, honorable neighbors, will forgive my rude manner of inviting you to attend this feast.”

They replied, “We, mean people, ought to have welcomed you back from your journey, but instead you have invited us to this feast.”

“This is only a small affair, but I hope that you will not laugh at it.”

The soldier came round and filled up their cups with wine. The neighbors thought that Wu Song had some evil object in view, but they could not yet grasp his ideas. When they all had drunk three cups of wine Hu Zhengqing got up and said that he must now go as he was very busy. But Wu Song would not let him go. “Since you have come, how can you go? Even if you are busy you must stay.” Hu Zhengqing was very much unset by this, and his heart was beating like fifteen buckets being hurriedly lowered into a well for water—eight going down while seven were coming up. He thought that as Wu Song had pressed him to come and drink wine, and now strongly objected to his leaving, there must be something else coming. Wu Song called for more wine, and the soldier kept on filling their cups until they had all had seven cups so that they all began to feel like having eaten the Dowager Empress Lu ’s (B. C. 180) thousand feasts. Then Wu Song told the soldier to clear the table, and said that they would resume their feast later on. When this had been done the neighbors all got up to take their leave, but Wu Song caught hold of those on either side of him, and asked them to wait as he had something to say to them. He then asked which of them could write characters, to which Yao replied that Hu Zhengqing was a good writer, and Wu Song asked the latter with salutation to oblige him in that work. He then rolled up his sleeves, drew forth his dagger, and placed the hilt against his breast with the blade pointing outwards; and then with wide glaring eyes he addressed them, “Honorable neighbor! There is a saying, ‘A wrong has a source, a loan has a lender.’ Now I want you all to act as witnesses.” He then seized hold of Pan Jinlian with his left hand, and pointed with his right hand at Grandma Wang. The neighbors were astounded at this unexpected movement, and stood with open mouths looking at each other, but not one of them dared say a word. Wu Song called out, “Neighbors, you must not be afraid. You know that I am a rough man. I face death without fear. If there is an injury I will avenge it. If I have an enemy I will oppose him. But I have no intention of injuring you gentlemen, as I only brought you here as witnesses. If you gentlemen go I may change my attitude, and give you a surprise. If any man goes now he will have to face my dagger, and I will be responsible for his death upon my life.”

The neighbors all stood aghast, and dared not move.

Wu Song glared at Grandma Wang and shouted, “You, old bitch, must now listen to me. You are the cause of my brother’s death. I will now ask a few questions.” He then turned his head and addressed Pan Jinlian, “You slut! How did you kill my brother? If you speak the truth I will spare you.”

Jinlian replied to this, “Brother-in-law, how unreasonable you are! Your brother died of some heart trouble, and I had nothing to do with it.” She had hardly finished saying this when Wu Song caught her by the hair, and with the other hand grasping her clothes he lifted her and placed her on the ground in front of the mourning curtain. He held her in that position by standing on her with both feet. Then taking his dagger in his hand he spoke to Grandma Wang, “You old bitch! Now you speak the truth.” She would have liked to escape, but she could not move an inch. She said, “Inspector, you need not get angry. I will tell you all about it.”

Wu Song ordered the soldier to arrange on the table the paper, ink brush, and ink slab, and pointing his dagger at Hu Zhengqing he told him to write down every sentence as it was spoken.

Hu Zhengqing was trembling with fright and he stuttered in reply, “I—I—will—will—write—write—” He then rubbed the ink on the slab, took up the pen, and then told Grandma Wang to speak the truth.

Grandma Wang replied, “It is not my affair. What do you want me to say?”

“You old bitch!” swore Wu Song, “I know all about it so what are you delaying matters for? If you do not speak the truth immediately, I shall stab my dagger into this slut, and then kill you, the old bitch.” So saying, he brandished the dagger above Jinlian’s face, and she quickly called out, “Brother-in-law, please forgive me. Let me get up, and I will tell you all about it.”

Wu Song lifted her up, and made her kneel in front of his late brother’s curtain, and shouted, “Slut, hurry up!”

Jinlian was now thoroughly terrified, and she told Wu Song the whole affair from beginning to end: how his brother had been kicked, and how Grandma Wang had planned the poisoning. She hid nothing. As she spoke Hu Zhengqing wrote it all down sentence by sentence.

Grandma Wang then spoke to Jinlian, “You snake! You first confess, so that I cannot get out of it. There is only bitterness for me, old as I am.” She then confessed all her part, and it was all written down by Hu. Both women were then told to sign their statements. All the four neighbors were then asked to sign their names as witnesses. Wu Song then told the soldiers to bring the scarf, and tie Grandma Wang’s hands behind her back. While they were doing this he rolled up the document, and put it away in his breast. He then told the soldiers to bring a cup of wine, and place it in front of the mourning curtain of the late Wu the Elder. He then seized Jinlian and dragged her along the floor, and summoned Grandma Wang and made both of them kneel before the curtain. Shedding tears, he addressed the tablet of his brother saying, “Elder brother! Your spirit cannot be far away! Today, I take revenge for you.” He then told the soldiers to burn some paper money. Jinlian saw the danger of what was being done, and attempted to speak, but Wu Song seized her by the hair, and pushing her on the floor stood upon her two arms with his feet. Then he stooped down, and ripped open her blouse exposing her breasts. Taking his dagger he cut open her breast, placed the bloody tool in. his mouth; and ripping open her breast with both hands, took out her heart, spleen, liver, lungs, and kidneys and offered them to his brother’s tablet. He then cut off Jinlian’s head, and the floor was covered with blood. The witnessing neighbors were so horrified that they dared not even offer advice, but covered their faces with their hands. Wu Song told a soldier to go upstairs, and bring a bed sheet. He wrapped Jinlian’s head in it, cleaned his dagger, and replaced it in its sheath. He washed his hands, and then said, saluting, “I am afraid that I have somewhat upset you gentlemen, but I beg to be excused. Please go upstairs, and I will soon be with you.” The neighbors looked at each other but there was not one who dared to disobey him, and they all went upstairs. Wu Song then told a soldier to take Grandma Wang upstairs also. The trapdoor upstairs was closed, and he placed two soldiers as sentries to watch the place.

Wu Song then left with the bundle containing Jinlian’s head, and hurried off to Ximen Qing’s medicine shop. Upon arrival there he asked the manager whether his master was in, and was informed that he had just gone out. Wu Song asked the man to come nearer as he had something further to say to him, but the manager recognized Wu Song and dared not refuse to meet him. He took him to a quiet part of the alleyway outside, but there he changed his manner, and said, “Do you want to live or die?” The manager replied, “Inspector, I am only a small man, but I have never injured you in any way.”

Wu Song said, “You will die if you do not tell me where Ximen Qing has gone to; but you will live if you tell me the truth.”

“He has just gone—gone—to—to—a wine shop at the—the—Shizi Bridge—to—to—drink—wine.’’

Wu Song rushed away at once, but the manager was so astonished that he was almost rooted to the spot.

Upon reaching the wine shop Wu Song asked the proprietor who was drinking wine with Ximen Qing, and was told that he was upstairs drinking wine with another wealthy man in a small apartment. Wu Song went upstairs, and peeping through the door screen he saw Ximen Qing and a friend sitting at a feast with two singsong girls. He opened the bundle, and took out the head with blood still dripping from it. Holding it in his left hand and a dagger in his right, he thrust the curtain to one side, and entered the room and threw the head into Ximen Qing’s face.

Ximen Qing recognized Wu Song at once, and was startled. Jumping up, he stood on his chair, and placed one foot on the window sill with the idea of escaping, but when he looked down into the street below he dared not jump.

Wu Song sprang on the table, and kicked off all the dishes. The two girls were so astonished that they could not move, and the friend collapsed on the floor. Ximen Qing seeing the fierce attitude of Wu Song suddenly kicked Wu Song’s right hand, and knocked the dagger out of his hand, and it flew through the window into the street.

Ximen Qing was now no longer afraid of his opponent so raising his right arm as a guard he flung his left fist at Wu Song’s breast. But the latter avoided the blow, and seized hold of Ximen Qing’s hair, and lifted him up. As he lifted him up with one hand, he caught hold of a foot with the other hand, and called out, “Now, down you go!” Ximen Qing felt as though he was in the grasp of some aggrieved ghost; that Heaven would not forgive him; that he was helpless against Wu Song’s great strength; Wu Song had turned him upside down, and threw him through the window. He fell on his head in the street below, and was unconscious. The people on the street were stupefied at this strange occurrence. Wu Song then picked up the bloody head of Pan Jinlian, and jumped with it through the window, into the street below. There Ximen Qing was stretched out stiff yet his eyes were moving. So Wu Song took his dagger and cut off his head also. Fastening the two heads together, and with his dagger in hand, he hurried off to Zishi Street. Calling out to the soldiers inside to open the door, he entered and placed the two heads in front of the mourning curtain of his late brother, and then sprinkled the cold wine on the floor as a libation for the spirit. Weeping he addressed the dead man’s tablet: “Elder brother, your spirit cannot be far away, but it may now ascend to Heaven. I have avenged the wrong for you, and killed both the guilty persons. I shall now burnt your tablet so that the funeral ceremony is now completed.”

He then told the soldiers to bring the neighbors downstairs, and when they arrived he placed Grandma Wang in front of them. Holding the dagger in one hand and the two heads in another, he said, “I have still one thing to say before you go.”

The neighbors all agreed to listen to whatever he had to say.

His glorious record would not save

This man from being treated vile.

Abandon his official post,

And wanders far as brigand bold.