第三十二回

第三十二回 诉肺腑心迷活宝玉 含耻辱情烈死金钏

话说宝玉见那麒麟，心中甚是欢喜，便伸手来拿，笑道：“亏你捡着了。你是那里捡的？”史湘云笑道：“幸而是这个，明儿倘或把印也丢了[1]，难道也就罢了不成？”宝玉笑道：“倒是丢了印平常，若丢了这个，我就该死了。”

袭人斟了茶来与史湘云吃，一面笑道：“大姑娘，听见前儿你大喜了。”史湘云红了脸，吃茶不答。袭人道：“这会子又害臊了。你还记得十年前，咱们在西边暖阁住着，晚上你同我说的话儿？那会子不害臊，这会子怎么又害臊了？”史湘云笑道：“你还说呢。那会子咱们那么好，后来我们太太没了，我家去住了一程子，怎么就把你派了跟二哥哥，我来了，你就不像先待我了。”袭人笑道：“你还说呢。先姐姐长姐姐短哄着我替你梳头洗脸，作这个弄那个，如今大了，就拿出小姐的款[2]来。你既拿小姐的款，我怎敢亲近呢？”史湘云道：“阿弥陀佛，冤枉冤哉！我要这样，就立刻死了。你瞧瞧，这么大热天，我来了，必定赶来先瞧瞧你。不信你问问缕儿，我在家时时刻刻那一回不念你几声。”话未了，忙的袭人和宝玉都劝道：“玩话你又认真了。还是这么性急。”史湘云道：“你不说你的话噎人，倒说人性急。”一面说，一面打开手帕子，将戒指递与袭人。

袭人感谢不尽，因笑道：“你前儿送你姐姐们的，我已得了；今儿你亲自又送来，可见是没忘了我。只这个就试出你来了。戒指儿能值多少，可见你的心真。”史湘云道：“是谁给你的？”袭人道：“是宝姑娘给我的。”湘云笑道：“我只当是林姐姐给你的，原来是宝钗姐姐给了你。我天天在家里想着，这些姐姐们再没一个比宝姐姐好的。可惜我们不是一个娘养的。我但凡有这么个亲姐姐，就是没了父母，也是没妨碍的。”说着，眼睛圈儿就红了。宝玉道：“罢，罢，罢！不用提这个话。”史湘云道：“提这个便怎么？我知道你的心病，恐怕你的林妹妹听见，又怪嗔我赞了宝姐姐。可是为这个不是？”袭人在旁嗤的一笑，说道：“云姑娘，你如今大了，越发心直口快了。”宝玉笑道：“我说你们这几个人难说话，果然不错。”史湘云道：“好哥哥，你不必说话叫我恶心。只会在我们跟前说话，见了你林妹妹，又不知怎么了。”

袭人道：“且别说玩话，正有一件事还要求你呢。”史湘云便问“什么事？”袭人道：“有一双鞋，抠了垫心子[3]。我这两日身上不好，不得做，你可有工夫替我做做？”史湘云笑道：“这又奇了，你家放着这些巧人不算，还有什么针线上的，裁剪上的，怎么教我做起来？你的活计叫谁做，谁好意思不做呢。”袭人笑道：“你又糊涂了。你难道不知道，我们这屋里的针线，是不要那些针线上的人做的。”史湘云听了，便知是宝玉的鞋了，因笑道：“既这么说，我就替你做了罢。只是一件，你的我才作，别人的我可不能。”袭人笑道：“又来了，我是个什么，就烦你做鞋了。实告诉你，可不是我的。你别管是谁的，横竖我领情就是了。”史湘云道：“论理，你的东西也不知烦我做了多少了，今儿我倒不做了的原故，你必定也知道。”袭人道：“倒也不知道。”

史湘云冷笑道：“前儿我听见把我做的扇套子拿着和人家比，赌气又铰了。我早就听见了，你还瞒我。这会子又叫我做，我成了你们的奴才了。”宝玉忙笑道：“前儿的那事，本不知是你做的。”袭人也笑道：“他本不知是你做的。是我哄他的话，说是新近外头有个会做活的女孩子，说扎的出奇的花，我叫他拿了一个扇套子试试看好不好。他就信了，拿出去给这个瞧给那个看的。不知怎么又惹恼了林姑娘，铰了两段。回来他还叫赶着做去，我才说了是你作的，他后悔的什么似的。”史湘云道：“越发奇了。林姑娘他也犯不上生气，他既会剪，就叫他做。”袭人道：“他可不作呢。饶这么着，老太太还怕他劳碌着了。大夫又说好生静养才好，谁还烦他做？旧年好一年的工夫，做了个香袋儿；今年半年，还没见拿针线呢。”

正说着，有人来回说：“兴隆街的大爷来了，老爷叫二爷出去会。”宝玉听了，便知是贾雨村来了，心中好不自在。袭人忙去拿衣服。宝玉一面蹬着靴子，一面抱怨道：“有老爷和他坐着就罢了，回回定要见我。”史湘云一边摇着扇子，笑道：“自然你能会宾接客，老爷才叫你出去呢。”宝玉道：“那里是老爷，都是他自己要请我去见的。”湘云笑道：“主雅客来勤，自然你有些警[4]他的好处，他才只要会你。”宝玉道：“罢，罢，我也不敢称雅，俗中又俗的一个俗人，并不愿同这些人往来。”

湘云笑道：“还是这个情性不改。如今大了，你就不愿读书去考举人进士的，也该常常的会会这些为官做宰的人们，谈谈讲讲些仕途经济的学问，也好将来应酬世务，日后也有个朋友。没见你成年家只在我们队里搅些什么！”宝玉听了道：“姑娘请别的姊妹屋里坐坐，我这里仔细污了你知经济学问的。”袭人道：“云姑娘快别说这话。上回也是宝姑娘也说过一回，他也不管人脸上过的去过不去，他就咳了一声，拿起脚来走了。这里宝姑娘的话也没说完，见他走了，登时羞的脸通红，说又不是，不说又不是。幸而是宝姑娘，那要是林姑娘，不知又闹到怎么样，哭的怎么样呢。提起这个话来，真真的宝姑娘叫人敬重，自己讪了一会子去了。我倒过不去，只当他恼了。谁知过后还是照旧一样，真真有涵养，心地宽大。谁知这一个反倒同他生分了。那林姑娘见你赌气不理他，你得赔多少不是呢！”宝玉道：“林姑娘从来说过这些混帐话不曾？若他也说过这些混帐话〔一〕，我早和他生分了。”袭人和湘云都点头笑道：“这原是混帐话。”

原来林黛玉知道史湘云在这里，宝玉又赶来，一定说麒麟的原故。因此心下忖度着，近日宝玉弄来的外传野史，多半才子佳人都因小巧玩物上撮合，或有鸳鸯，或有凤凰，或玉环金珮，或鲛帕鸾绦[6]，皆由小物而遂终身。今忽见宝玉亦有麒麟，便恐借此生隙，同史湘云也做出那些风流佳事来。因而悄悄走来，见机行事，以察二人之意。不想刚走来，正听见史湘云说经济一事，宝玉又说，林妹妹不说这样混帐话，若说这话，我也和他生分了。

林黛玉听了这话，不觉又喜又惊，又悲又叹。所喜者，果然自己眼力不错，素日认他是个知己，果然是个知己。所惊者，他在人前一片私心称扬于我，其亲热厚密，竟不避嫌疑。所叹者，你既为我之知己，自然我亦可为你之知己矣；既你我为知己，则又何必有金玉之论哉；既有金玉之论，亦该你我有之，则又何必来一宝钗哉！所悲者，父母早逝，虽有铭心刻骨之言，无人为我主张。况近日每觉神思恍惚，病已渐成，医者更云气弱血亏，恐致劳怯之症[7]。你我虽为知己，但恐自不能久待；你纵为我知己，奈我薄命何！想到此间，不禁滚下泪来。待进去相见，自觉无味，便一面拭泪，一面抽身回去了。

这里宝玉忙忙的穿了衣裳出来，忽见林黛玉在前面慢慢的走着，似有拭泪之状，便忙赶上来，笑道：“妹妹往那里去？怎么又哭了？又是谁得罪了你？”林黛玉回头见是宝玉，便勉强笑道：“好好的，我何曾哭了。”宝玉笑道：“你瞧瞧，眼睛上的泪珠儿未干，还撒谎呢。”一面说，一面禁不住抬起手来替他拭泪。林黛玉忙向后退了几步，说道：“你又要死了！作什么这么动手动脚的！”宝玉笑道：“说话忘了情，不觉的动了手，也就顾不的死活。”林黛玉道：“你死了倒不值什么，只是丢下了什么金，又是什么麒麟，可怎么样呢？”一句话又把宝玉说急了，赶上来问道：“你还说这话，到底是咒我还是气我呢？”林黛玉见问，方想起前日的事来，遂自悔自己又说造次了，忙笑道：“你别着急，我原说错了。这有什么的，筋都暴起来，急的一脸汗。”一面说，一面禁不住近前伸手替他拭面上的汗。

宝玉瞅了半天，方说道“你放心”三个字。林黛玉听了，怔了半天，方说道：“我有什么不放心的？我不明白这话。你倒说说怎么放心不放心？”宝玉叹了一口气，问道：“你果不明白这话？难道我素日在你身上的心都用错了？连你的意思若体贴不着，就难怪你天天为我生气了。”林黛玉道：“果然我不明白放心不放心的话。”宝玉点头叹道：“好妹妹，你别哄我。果然不明白这话，不但我素日之意白用了，且连你素日待我之意也都辜负了。你皆因总是不放心的原故，才弄了一身病。但凡宽慰些，这病也不得一日重似一日。”

林黛玉听了这话，如轰雷掣电，细细思之，竟比自己肺腑中掏出来的还觉恳切，竟有万句言语，满心要说，只是半个字也不能吐，却怔怔的望着他。此时宝玉心中也有万句言语，不知从那一句上说起，却也怔怔的望着黛玉。两个人怔了半天，林黛玉只咳了一声，两眼不觉滚下泪来，回身便要走。宝玉忙上前拉住，说道：“好妹妹，且略站住，我说一句话再走。”林黛玉一面拭泪，一面将手推开，说道：“有什么可说的。你的话我早知道了！”口里说着，却头也不回竟去了。

宝玉站着，只管发起呆来。原来方才出来慌忙，不曾带得扇子。袭人怕他热，忙拿了扇子赶来送与他，忽抬头见了林黛玉和他站着，一时黛玉走了，他还站着不动，因而赶上来说道：“你也不带了扇子去，亏我看见，赶了送来。”宝玉出了神，见袭人和他说话，并未看出是何人来，便一把拉住，说道：“好妹妹，我的这心事，从来也不敢说，今儿我大胆说出来，死也甘心！我为你也弄了一身的病在这里，又不敢告诉人，只好掩着。只等你的病好了，只怕我的病才得好呢。睡里梦里也忘不了你！”袭人听了这话，吓得魄消魂散，只叫“神天菩萨，坑死我了！”便推他道：“这是那里的话！敢是中了邪？还不快去？”宝玉一时醒过来，方知是袭人送扇子来，羞的满面紫胀，夺了扇子，便忙忙的抽身跑了。

这里袭人见他去了，自思方才之言，一定是因黛玉而起，如此看来，将来难免不才之事[8]，令人可惊可畏。想到此间，也不觉怔怔的滴下泪来，心下暗度如何处治方免此丑祸。正裁疑[9]间，忽有宝钗从那边走来，笑道：“大毒日头地下，出什么神呢？”袭人见问，忙笑道：“那边两个雀儿打架，倒也好玩，我就看住了。”宝钗道：“宝兄弟这会子穿了衣服，忙忙的那去了？我才看见走过去，倒要叫住问他呢。他如今说话越发没了经纬[10]，我故此没叫他了，由他过去罢。”袭人道：“老爷叫他出去。”宝钗听了，忙道：“嗳哟！这么黄天[11]暑热的，叫他做什么！别是想起什么来生了气，叫出去教训一场。”袭人笑道：“不是这个，想是有客要会。”宝钗笑道：“这个客也没意思，这么热天，不在家里凉快，还跑些什么！”袭人笑道：“倒是你说说罢。”

宝钗因而问道：“云丫头在你们家做什么呢？”袭人笑道：“才说了一会子闲话。你瞧，我前儿粘的那双鞋，明儿叫他做去。”宝钗听见这话，便两边回头，看无人来往，便笑道：“你这么个明白人，怎么一时半刻的就不会体谅人情。我近来看着云丫头神情，再风里言风里语的听起来，那云丫头在家里竟一点儿作不得主。他们家嫌费用大，竟不用那些针线上的人，差不多的东西多是他们娘儿们动手。为什么这几次他来了，他和我说话儿，见没人在跟前，他就说家里累的很。我再问他两句家常过日子的话，他就连眼圈儿都红了，口里含含糊糊待说不说的。想其形景来，自然从小儿没爹娘的苦。我看着他，也不觉的伤起心来。”

袭人见说这话，将手一拍，说：“是了，是了。怪道上月我烦他打十根蝴蝶结子，过了那些日子才打发人送来，还说‘打的粗，且在别处能着使罢；要匀净的，等明儿来住着再好生打罢’。如今听宝姑娘这话，想来我们烦他他不好推辞，不知他在家里怎么三更半夜的做呢。可是我也糊涂了，早知是这样，我也不烦他了。”宝钗道：“上次他就告诉我，在家里做活做到三更天，若是替别人做一点半点，他家的那些奶奶太太们还不受用呢。”

袭人道：“偏生我们那个牛心左性的小爷〔二〕，凭着小的大的活计，一概不要家里这些活计上的人作。我又弄不开这些。”宝钗笑道：“你理他呢！只管叫人做去，只说是你做的就是了。”袭人道：“那里哄的信他，他才是认得出来呢。说不得我只好慢慢的累去罢了。”宝钗笑道：“你不必忙，我替你作些如何？”袭人笑道：“当真的这样，就是我的福了。晚上我亲自送过来。”

一句话未了，忽见一个老婆子忙忙走来，说道：“这是那里说起！金钏儿姑娘好好的投井死了！”袭人唬了一跳，忙问“那个金钏儿？”那老婆子道：“那里还有两个金钏儿呢？就是太太屋里的。前儿不知为什么撵他出去，在家里哭天哭地的，也都不理会他，谁知找他不见了。刚才打水的人在那东南角上井里打水，见一个尸首，赶着叫人打捞起来，谁知是他。他们家里还只管乱着要救活，那里中用了！”宝钗道：“这也奇了。”袭人听说，点头赞叹，想素日同气之情，不觉流下泪来。宝钗听见这话，忙向王夫人处来道安慰。这里袭人回去。不提。

却说宝钗来至王夫人处，只见鸦雀无闻，独有王夫人在里间房内坐着垂泪。宝钗便不好提这事，只得一旁坐了。王夫人便问：“你从那里来？”宝钗道：“从园里来。”王夫人道：“你从园里来，可见你宝兄弟？”宝钗道：“才倒看见了。他穿了衣服出去了，不知那里去。”

王夫人点头哭道：“你可知道一桩奇事？金钏儿忽然投井死了！”宝钗见说，道：“怎么好好的投井？这也奇了。”王夫人道：“原是前儿他把我一件东西弄坏了，我一时生气，打了他几下，撵了他下去。我只说气他两天，还叫他上来，谁知他这么气性大，就投井死了。岂不是我的罪过。”宝钗叹道：“姨娘是慈善人，固然这么想。据我看来，他并不是赌气投井。多半他下去住着，或是在井跟前憨顽，失了脚掉下去的。他在上头拘束惯了，这一出去，自然要到各处去顽顽逛逛，岂有这样大气的理！纵然有这样大气，也不过是个糊涂人，也不为可惜。”王夫人点头叹道：“这话虽然如此说，到底我心不安。”宝钗叹道：“姨娘也不必念念于兹，十分过不去，不过多赏他几两银子发送他，也就尽主仆之情了。”

王夫人道：“刚才我赏了他娘五十两银子，原要还把你妹妹们的新衣服拿两套给他妆裹。谁知凤丫头说可巧都没什么新做的衣服，只有你林妹妹作生日的两套。我想你林妹妹那个孩子素日是个有心的，况且他也三灾八难的，既说了给他过生日，这会子又给人妆裹去，岂不忌讳。因为这么样，我现叫裁缝赶两套给他。要是别的丫头，赏他几两银子也就完了，只是金钏儿虽然是个丫头，素日在我跟前比我的女儿也差不多。”口里说着，不觉泪下。宝钗忙道：“姨娘这会子又何用叫裁缝赶去，我前儿倒做了两套，拿来给他岂不省事。况且他活着的时候也穿过我的旧衣服，身量又相对。”王夫人道：“虽然这样，难道你不忌讳？”宝钗笑道：“姨娘放心，我从来不计较这些。”一面说，一面起身就走。王夫人忙叫了两个人来跟宝姑娘去。

一时宝钗取了衣服回来，只见宝玉在王夫人旁边坐着垂泪。王夫人正才说他，因宝钗来了，却掩了口不说了。宝钗见此光景，察言观色，早知觉了八分，于是将衣服交割明白。王夫人将他母亲叫来拿了去。再看下回便知。

[1] 把印也丢了——印：此指官印。丢印意味着丢官。

[2] 拿……款——摆……架子。

[3] 抠（kōu扣阴平）了垫心子——抠：挖；镂。意谓将鞋面用剪刀挖铰出各种花样图案，从背面再衬上别种颜色的料子。

[4] 警——打动。

〔一〕 “不曾？若他也说过这些混帐话”，原无，从己卯、梦稿、蒙府、戚序、舒序本补。

[6] 鲛（jiāo交）帕鸾绦——鲛：这里指鲛绡纱。传说南海中有鲛人，即人鱼，能织绡（见《述异记》卷上）。后用以泛称薄纱。鸾：传说中凤凰一类的鸟。鸾绦：指上面织有凤鸾一类图案的丝带。

[7] 劳怯之症——劳：即痨，中医称肺结核为痨。怯：虚弱。

[8] 不才之事——没出息的事。这里指男女间的丑事。

[9] 裁疑——思忖、裁度心中疑惑。

[10] 经纬——织机上的直线叫经，横线叫纬，这里引申为道理、规矩的意思。

[11] 黄天——即农历六月，亦称“长夏”。按五行之说：夏，色赤；长夏，色黄；故大暑天又称黄天。

〔二〕 “偏生我们那个牛心左性的小爷”，原作“偏偏我们那牛心的小爷”，从己卯、梦稿、蒙府、戚序、舒序本改。

CHAPTER 32. Bao-yu demonstrates confusion of mind by making his declaration to the wrong person And Golden shows an unconquerable spirit by ending her humiliation in death

OUR last chapter told of Bao-yu’s delight at seeing the gold kylin again. He reached out eagerly and took it from Xiang-yun’s hand.

‘Fancy your finding it!’ he said. ‘How did you come to pick it up?’

‘It’s a good job it was only this you lost,’ she said. ‘One of these days it will be your seal of office – and then it won’t be quite so funny.’

‘Oh, losing one’s seal of office is nothing,’ said Bao-yu. ‘Losing a thing like this is much more serious.’

Aroma meanwhile was pouring tea.

‘I heard your good news the other day,’ she said, handing Xiang-yun a cup. ‘Congratulations!’

Xiang-yun bent low over the cup to hide her blushes and made no reply.

‘Why so bashful, Miss?’ said Aroma. ‘Have you forgotten the things you used to tell me at night all those years ago, when we used to sleep together in the little closet-bed at Her Old Ladyship’s? You weren’t very bashful then. What makes you so bashful with me now, all of a sudden?’

Xiang-yun’s face became even redder. She gave a forced little laugh.

‘Who’s talking? That was a time when you and I were very close to each other. Then I had to go back home when my uncle’s first wife died and you were given Cousin Bao to look after, and I don’t know why, but whenever I came back here after that, you seemed somehow changed towards me.’

It was now Aroma’s turn to blush and protest.

‘When you first came to live here it was “Pearl dear this” and “Pearl dear that” all the time. You were always coaxing me to do things for you – do your hair, wash your face, or I don’t know what. But now that’s all changed. Now you’re the young lady, aren’t you? You can’t act the young lady with me and expect me to stay on the same familiar terms as before.’

‘Holy name!’ said Xiang-yun, now genuinely indignant. ‘That’s tho unfair. I wish I may die if I ever “acted the young lady” with you, as you put it. I come here in this frightful heat, and the very first person I want to see when I get here is you. Ask Fishy if you don’t believe me. She can tell you. At home I’m always going on about you.’

Aroma and Bao-yu both laughed.

‘Don’t take it to heart so, it was only a joke. You shouldn’t be so excitable.’

‘Don’t, whatever you do, admit that what you said was wounding,’ said Xiang-yun. ‘Say I’m “excitable” and put me in the wrong!’

While she said this, she was undoing the knotted silk handkerchief and extracting one of the three rings from it. She handed it to Aroma. Aroma was greatly touched.

‘I’ve got one like this already,’ she said. ‘It was given to me when you sent those ones the other day to the young ladies. But fancy your bringing this one here specially! Now I know you haven’t forgotten me. It’s little things like this that show you what a person really is. The ring itself isn’t worth much, I know. It’s the thought behind it.’

‘Who gave you the one you’ve already got?’ said Xiang-yun.

‘Miss Bao,’ said Aroma.

‘Ah,’ said Xiang-yun, ‘Miss Bao. And I was thinking it must have been Miss Lin. Often when I’m at home I think to myself that of all my cousins Bao-chai is the one I like best. It’s a pity we couldn’t have been born of the same mother. With her for an elder sister it wouldn’t matter so much being an orphan.’

Her eyelids reddened as she said this and she seemed to be on the verge of tears.

‘Now, now, now!’ said Bao-yu. ‘Don’t say things like that.’

‘And why not?’ said Xiang-yun. ‘Oh, I know your trouble. You’re afraid that Cousin Lin might hear and get angry with me again for praising Cousin Bao. That’s what’s worrying you, isn’t it?’

Aroma giggled.

‘Oh Miss Yun! You’re just as outspoken as you used to be.’

‘Well, I’ve said that you lot are difficult to talk to,’ said Bao-yu, ‘and I was certainly right!’

‘Don’t make me sick,’ said Xiang-yun. ‘You say what you like to us. It’s with your Cousin Lin that you have to be so careful.’

‘Never mind about that,’ said Aroma. ‘Joking apart, now: I want to ask you a favour.’

‘What is it?’ said Xiang-yun.

‘I’ve got a pair of slipper-tops here that I’ve already cut the openwork pattern in, but as I haven’t been very well this last day or two, I haven’t been able to sew them on to the backing material. Do you think you’d have time to do them for me?’

‘That’s rather a strange request,’ said Xiang-yun. ‘Quite apart from all the clever maids this household employs you have your own full-time tailors and embroiderers. Why ask me to do your sewing? You could give it to anyone here you liked. They could hardly refuse you.’

‘You can’t be serious,’ said Aroma. ‘None of the sewing in this room is allowed to go outside. Surely you knew that?’

Xiang-yun inferred from this that the slippers in question were for Bao-yu.

‘Oh well,’ she said, ‘in that case I suppose I’d better do them for you. On one condition, though: I’ll do them if they are for you to wear, but if they are for anyone else, I’m afraid I can’t.’

‘Get along with you!’ said Aroma. ‘Ask you to make slippers for me? I wouldn’t have the nerve. No, I’ll be honest with you, they’re not for me. Never mind who they’re for. Just tell yourself that I’m the one you’ll be doing the favour.’

‘It isn’t that,’ said Xiang-yun. ‘In the past I’ve done lots of things for you. Surely you must know what makes me unwilling now?’

‘I’m sorry, I don’t,’ said Aroma.

‘What about the person who got in a temper the other day when that fan-case I made for you was compared with hers and cut it up with a pair of scissors? I heard all about that, so don’t start protesting. If you expect me to do sewing for you after that, you’re just treating me as your drudge.’

‘I didn’t know at the time it was you who made it,’ Bao-yu put in hurriedly.

‘He really didn’t,’ said Aroma. ‘I pretended there was someone outside we’d just discovered who could do very fine and original needlework. I told him I’d got them to do that fan-case for him as a sample. He believed what I said and went around showing it to everyone. Unfortunately while he was doing this he upset you know who and she took a pair of scissors and cut it in pieces. Afterwards he was very anxious to have some more work done by the same person, so I had to tell him who it really was. He was very upset when he heard that it was you.’

‘I still think this is a very strange request,’ said Xiang-yun. ‘If Miss Lin can cut things up, she can sew them for him, too. Why not ask her to do them for you?’

‘Oh, she wouldn’t want to do them,’ said Aroma. ‘And even if she did, Her Old Ladyship wouldn’t let her, for fear of her tiring herself. The doctors say she needs rest and quiet. I wouldn’t want to trouble her with them. Last year she took practically the whole year embroidering one little purse, and this last six months I don’t think she’s picked up a needle.’

Their conversation was interrupted by a servant with a message:

‘Mr Jia of Rich Street is here. The Master says will Master Bao receive him, please?’

Recognizing the ‘Mr Jia’ of the message as Jia Yu-cun, Bao-yu was more than a little vexed. While Aroma hurried off for his going-out clothes, he sat pulling his boots on and grumbling.

‘He’s got Father to talk to, surely that’s enough for him? Why does he always have to see me?’

Xiang-yun laughed at his disgruntlement:

‘I’m sure you’re very good at entertaining people,’ she said. ‘That’s why Sir Zheng asks you to see him.’

‘That message didn’t come from Father,’ said Bao-yu. ‘He’ll have made it up himself.’

‘ “When the host is refined, the callers are frequent,” ’ said Xiang-yun. ‘There must be something about you that has impressed him, otherwise he wouldn’t want to see you.’

‘I make no claim to being refined, thanks all the same,’ said Bao-yu. ‘I’m as common as dirt. And furthermore I have no wish to mix with people of his sort.’

‘You’re incorrigible,’ said Xiang-yun. ‘Now that you’re older, you ought to be mixing with these officials and administrators as much as you can. Even if you don’t want to take the Civil Service examinations and become an administrator yourself, you can learn a lot from talking to these people about the way the Empire is governed and the people who govern it that will stand you in good stead later on, when you come to manage your own affairs and take your place in society. You might even pick up one or two decent, respectable friends that way. You’ll certainly never get anywhere if you spend all your time with us girls.’

Bao-yu found such talk highly displeasing.

‘I think perhaps you’d better go and sit in someone else’s room,’ he said. ‘I wouldn’t want a decent, respectable young lady like you to get contaminated.’

‘Don’t try reasoning with him, Miss,’ Aroma put in hurriedly. ‘Last time Miss Bao tried it, he was just as rude to her. No consideration for her feelings whatever. He just said “Hai!”, picked up his heels, and walked out of the room, leaving her still half-way through her sentence. Poor Miss Bao! She was so embarrassed she turned bright red. She didn’t know what to say. A good job it was her, though, and not Miss Lin. If it had been Miss Lin, there’d have been weeping and carrying on and I don’t know what. I really admire the way Miss Bao behaved on that occasion. She just stood there a while collecting herself and then walked quietly out of the room. Myself, I was quite upset, thinking she must be offended. But not a bit of it. Next time she came round, it was just as if nothing had happened. A real little lady, Miss Bao – and generous-hearted, too. And yet the funny thing is that his lordship seems to have fallen out with her, whereas Miss Lin, who is always getting on her high horse and ignoring him, has him running round and apologizing to her all the time.’

‘Have you ever heard Miss Lin talking that sort of stupid rubbish?’ said Bao-yu. ‘I’d long since have fallen out with her if she did.’

Aroma and Xiang-yun shook their heads pityingly.

‘So that’s “stupid rubbish”, is it?’ they said, laughing.

Dai-yu rightly surmised that now Xiang-yun had arrived, Bao-yu would lose no time in telling her about his newly-acquired kylin.

Now Dai-yu had observed that in the romances which Bao-yu smuggled in to her and of which she was nowadays an avid consumer, it was always some trinket or small object of clothing or jewellery – a pair of lovebirds, a male and female phoenix, a jade ring, a gold buckle, a silken handkerchief, an embroidered belt or what not – that brought the heroes and heroines together. And since the fate and future happiness of those fortunate beings seemed to depend wholly on the instrumentality of such trifling objects, it was natural for her to suppose that Bao-yu’s acquisition of the gold kylin would become the occasion of a dramatic rupture with her and the beginning of an association with Xiang-yun in which he and Xiang-yun would do together all those delightful things that she had read about in the romances.

It was with such apprehensions that she made her way stealthily towards Green Delights, her intention being to observe how the two of them were behaving and shape her own actions accordingly. Imagine her surprise when, just as she was about to enter, she heard Xiang-yun lecturing Bao-yu on his social obligations and Bao-yu telling Xiang-yun that ‘Cousin Lin never talked that sort of rubbish’ and that if she did he would have ‘fallen out with her long ago’. Mingled emotions of happiness, alarm, sorrow and regret assailed her.

Happiness:

Because after all (she thought) I wasn’t mistaken in my judgement of you. I always thought of you as a true friend, and I was right.

Alarm:

Because if you praise me so unreservedly in front of other people, your warmth and affection are sure, sooner or later, to excite suspicion and be misunderstood.

Regret:

Because if you are my true friend, then I am yours and the two of us are a perfect match. But in that case why did there have to be all this talk of ‘the gold and the jade’? Alternatively, if there had to be all this talk of gold and jade, why weren’t we the two to have them? Why did there have to be a Bao-chai with her golden locket?

Sorrow:

Because though there are things of burning importance to be said, without a father or a mother I have no one to say them for me. And besides, I feel so muzzy lately and I know that my illness is gradually gaining a hold on me. (The doctors say that the weakness and anaemia I suffer from may be the beginnings of a consumption.) So even if I am your true-love, I fear I may not be able to wait for you. And even though you are mine, you can do nothing to alter my fate.

At that point in her reflections she began to weep; and feeling in no fit state to be seen, she turned away from the door and began to make her way back again.

Bao-yu had finished his hasty dressing and now came out of the house. He saw Dai-yu slowly walking on ahead of him and, judging by her appearance from behind, wiping her eyes. He hurried forward to catch up with her.

‘Where are you off to, coz? Are you crying again? Who has upset you this time?’

Dai-yu turned and saw that it was Bao-yu.

‘I’m perfectly all right,’ she said, forcing a smile. ‘What would I be crying for?’

‘Look at you! The tears are still wet on your face. How can you tell such fibs?’

Impulsively he stretched out his hand to wipe them. Dai-yu recoiled several paces:

‘You’ll get your head chopped off!’ she said. ‘You really must keep your hands to yourself.’

‘I’m sorry. My feelings got the better of me. I’m afraid I wasn’t thinking about my head.’

‘No, I forgot,’ said Dai-yu. ‘Losing your head is nothing, is it? It’s losing your kylin – the famous gold kylin – that is really serious!’

Her words immediately put Bao-yu in a passion. He came up to her and held his face close to hers.

‘Do you say these things to put a curse on me? or is it merely to make me angry that you say them?’

Remembering their recent quarrel, Dai-yu regretted her careless reintroduction of its theme and hastened to make amends:

‘Now don’t get excited. I shouldn’t have said that – oh come now, it really isn’t that important! Look at you! The veins are standing out on your forehead and your face is all covered with sweat.’

She moved forward and wiped the perspiration from his brow. For some moments he stood there motionless, staring at her. Then he said:

‘Don’t worry!’

Hearing this, Dai-yu herself was silent for some moments.

‘Why should I worry?’ she said eventually. ‘I don’t understand you. Would you mind telling me what you are talking about?’

Bao-yu sighed.

‘Do you really not understand? Can I really have been all this time mistaken in my feelings towards you? If you don’t even know your own mind, it’s small wonder that you’re always getting angry on my account.’

‘I really don’t understand what you mean about not worrying,’ said Dai-yu.

Bao-yu sighed again and shook his head.

‘My dear coz, don’t think you can fool me. If you don’t understand what I’ve just said, then not only have my feelings towards you been all along mistaken, but all that you have ever felt for me has been wasted, too. It’s because you worry so much that you’ve made yourself ill. If only you could take things a bit easier, your illness wouldn’t go on getting more and more serious all the time.’

Dai-yu was thunderstruck. He had read her mind – had seen inside her more clearly than if she had plucked out her entrails and held them out for his inspection. And now there were a thousand things that she wanted to tell him; yet though she was dying to speak, she was unable to utter a single syllable and stood there like a simpleton, gazing at him in silence.

Bao-yu, too, had a thousand things to say, but he, too, stood mutely gazing at her, not knowing where to begin.

After the two of them had stared at each other for some considerable time in silence, Dai-yu heaved a deep sigh. The tears gushed from her eyes and she turned and walked away. Bao-yu hurried after her and caught at her dress.

‘Coz dear, stop a moment! Just let me say one word.’

As she wiped her eyes with one hand, Dai-yu pushed him away from her with the other.

‘There’s nothing to say. I already know what you want to tell me.’

She said this without turning back her head, and having said it, passed swiftly on her way. Bao-yu remained where he was standing, gazing after her in silent stupefaction.

Now Bao-yu had left the apartment in such haste that he had forgotten to take his fan with him. Fearing that he would be very hot without it, Aroma hurried outside to give it to him, but when she noticed him standing some way ahead of her talking to Dai-yu, she halted. After a little while she saw Dai-yu walk away and Bao-yu continue standing motionless where he was. She chose this moment to go up and speak to him.

‘You’ve gone out without your fan,’ she said. ‘It’s a good job I noticed. Here you are. I ran out to give it to you.’

Bao-yu, still in a muse, saw Aroma there talking to him, yet without clearly perceiving who it was. With the same glazed look in his eyes, he began to speak.

‘Dearest coz! I’ve never before dared to tell you what I felt for you. Now at last I’m going to pluck up courage and tell you, and after that I don’t care what becomes of me. Because of you I, too, have made myself ill – only I haven’t dared tell anyone about it and have had to bear it all in silence. And the day that your illness is cured, I do believe that mine, too, will get better. Night and day, coz, sleeping and dreaming, you are never out of my mind.’

Aroma listened to this declaration aghast.

‘Holy saints preserve us!’ she exclaimed. ‘He’ll be the death of me.’

She gave him a shake.

‘What are you talking about? Are you bewitched? You’d better hurry.’

Bao-yu seemed suddenly to waken from his trance and recognized the person he had been speaking to as Aroma. His face turned a deep red with embarrassment and he snatched the fan from her and fled.

After he had gone, Aroma began thinking about the words he had just said and realized that they must have been intended for Dai-yu. She reflected with some alarm that if things between them were as his words seemed to indicate, there was every likelihood of an ugly scandal developing, and wondered how she could arrange matters to prevent it. Preoccupied with these reflections, she stood as motionless and unseeing as her master had done a few moments before. Bao-chai found her in this state on her way back from the house.

‘What are you brooding on, out in the burning sun?’ she asked her, laughing.

Aroma laughed back.

‘There were two little sparrows here having a fight. They were so funny, I had to stand and watch them.’

‘Where was Cousin Bao rushing off to just now, all dressed up for going out?’ said Bao-chai. ‘I was going to call out and ask him, but he is getting so crotchety lately that I thought I had better not.’

‘The Master sent for him,’ said Aroma.

‘Oh dear!’ said Bao-chai. ‘I wonder why he should send for him in heat like this? I hope he hasn’t thought of something to be angry about and called him over to be punished.’

‘No, it isn’t that,’ said Aroma. ‘I think it’s to receive a visitor.’

‘It must be a very tiresome visitor,’ said Bao-chai, ‘to go around bothering people on a boiling day like this instead of staying at home and trying to keep cool.’

‘You can say that again!’ said Aroma.

‘What’s young Xiang-yun been doing at your place?’ said Bao-chai, changing the subject.

‘We were having a chat,’ said Aroma, ‘and after that she had a look at some slipper-tops that I’ve got ready pasted and have asked her to sew for me.’

‘You’re an intelligent young woman,’ said Bao-chai, having first looked to right and left of her to make sure that no one else was about, ‘I should have thought you’d have sense enough to leave her a few moments in peace. I’ve been watching our Yun lately, and from what I’ve observed of her and various stray remarks I’ve heard, I get the impression that back at home she can barely call her soul her own. I know for a fact that they are too mean to pay for professional seamstresses and that nearly all the sewing has to be done by the women of the household, and I’m pretty sure that’s why, whenever she’s found herself alone with me on these last few visits, she’s told me how tired she gets at home. When I press her for details, her eyes fill with tears and she answers evasively, as though she’d like to tell me but daren’t. It must be very hard for her, losing both her parents when she was so young. It quite wrings my heart to see her so exploited.’

Aroma smote her hands together as understanding dawned.

‘Yes, I see. I see now why she was so slow with those ten butterfly bows I asked her to sew for me last month. It was ages before she sent them, and even then there was a message to say that she’d only been able to do them roughly. She told me I’d better use them on something else. “If you want nice, even ones,” she said, “you’ll have to wait until next time I come to stay with you.” Now I can see why. She didn’t like to refuse when I asked her, but I suppose she had to sit up till midnight doing them, poor thing. Oh, how stupid of me! I’d never have asked her if I’d realized.’

‘Last time she was here, she told me that it’s quite normal for her to sit up sewing until midnight,’ said Bao-chai; ‘and if her aunt or the other women catch her doing the slightest bit of work for anyone else, they are angry with her.’

‘It’s all the fault of that pig-headed young master of mine,’ said Aroma. ‘He refuses to let any of his sewing be done by the seamstresses outside. Every bit of work, large or small, has to be done in his room – and I just can’t manage it all on my own.’

Bao-chai laughed.

‘Why do you take any notice of him? Why not simply give it to the seamstresses without telling him?’

‘He’s not so easy to fool,’ said Aroma. ‘He can tell the difference. I’m afraid there’s nothing for it. I shall just have to work through it all gradually on my own.’

‘Now just a minute!’ said Bao-chai. ‘We’ll think of a way round this. Suppose I were to do some of it for you?’

‘Would you really?’ said Aroma. ‘I’d be so grateful if you would. I’ll come over with some this evening then.’

She had barely finished saying this when an old woman came rushing up to them in a state of great agitation.

‘Isn’t it dreadful? Miss Golden has drowned herself in the well.’

‘Which Golden?’ said Aroma, startled.

‘Which Golden?’ said the old woman. ‘There aren’t two Goldens that I know of. Golden from Her Ladyship’s room, of course, that was dismissed the day before yesterday. She’d been crying and carrying on at home ever since, but nobody paid much attention to her. Then suddenly, when they went to look for her, she wasn’t there, and just now someone going to fetch water from the well by the south-east corner found a body in it and rushed inside for help, and when they fished it out, they found that it was Golden. They did all they could to revive her, but it was too late. She was dead.’

‘How strange!’ said Bao-chai.

Aroma shook her head wonderingly and a tear or two stole down her cheek. She and Golden had been like sisters to each other.

Bao-chai hurried off to Lady Wang’s to offer her sympathy. Aroma went back to Green Delights.

When Bao-chai arrived at Lady Wang’s apartment she found the whole place hushed and still and Lady Wang sitting in the inner room on her own, crying. Deeming it an unsuitable moment to raise the subject of her visit, Bao-chai sat down beside her in silence.

‘Where have you just come from?’ Lady Wang asked her.

‘The Garden.’

‘The Garden,’ Lady Wang echoed. ‘Did you by any chance see your cousin Bao-yu there?’

‘I saw him going out just now wearing his outdoor clothes, but I don’t know where he was going to.’

Lady Wang nodded and gave a sigh.

‘I don’t know if you’ve heard. Something very strange has happened. Golden has drowned herself in a well.’

‘That is strange,’ said Bao-chai. ‘Why ever did she do that?’

‘The day before yesterday she broke something of mine,’ said Lady Wang, ‘and in a moment of anger I struck her a couple of times and sent her back to her mother’s. I had only been meaning to leave her there a day or two to punish her. After that I would have had her back again. I never dreamed that she would be so angry with me as to drown herself. Now that she has, I feel that it is all my fault.’

‘It’s only natural that a kind person like you should see it in that way,’ said Bao-chai, ‘but in my opinion Golden would never have drowned herself in anger. It’s much more likely that she was playing about beside the well and slipped in accidentally. While she was in service her movements were restricted and it would be natural for her to go running around everywhere during her first day or two outside. There’s no earthly reason why she should have felt angry enough with you to drown herself. If she did, all I can say is that she was a stupid person and not worth feeling sorry for!’

Lady Wang sighed and shook her head doubtfully.

‘Well, it may be as you say, but I still feel very uneasy in my mind.’

‘I’m sure you have no cause, Aunt,’ said Bao-chai, ‘but if you feel very much distressed, I suggest that you simply give her family a little extra for the funeral. In that way you will more than fulfil any moral obligation you may have towards her as a mistress.’

‘I have just given her mother fifty taels,’ said Lady Wang. ‘I wanted to give her two new outfits as well from one of the girls’ wardrobes, but it just so happens that at the moment none of them apart from your Cousin Lin has got anything new that would do. Your Cousin Lin has got two sets that we had made for her next birthday, but she is such a sensitive child and has had so much sickness and misfortune in her life that I’m afraid she would almost certainly feel superstitious about the clothes made for her birthday being used for dressing a corpse with, so I’ve had to ask the tailors to make up a couple in a hurry. Of course, if it were any other maid, I should have given the mother a few taels and that would have been the end of the matter. But though Golden was only a servant, she had been with me so long that she had become almost like a daughter to me.’

She began to cry again as she said this.

‘There’s no need to hurry the tailors about this,’ said Bao-chai. ‘I’ve got two new outfits that I recently finished making for myself. Why not let her mother have them and save them the trouble? Golden once or twice wore old dresses of mine in the past, so I know they will fit her.’

‘That’s very kind of you, but aren’t you superstitious?’ said Lady Wang.

Bao-chai laughed.

‘Don’t worry about that, Aunt. That sort of thing has never bothered me.’

At that she rose and went off to fetch them. Lady Wang hurriedly ordered two of the servants to go after her.

When Bao-chai returned with the clothes, she found Bao-yu sitting beside his mother in tears. Lady Wang was evidently in the midst of rebuking him about something, but as soon as she caught sight of Bao-chai, she closed her mouth and fell silent. From the scene before her eyes and the word or two she had overheard, Bao-chai was able to form a pretty good idea of what had been happening. She handed the clothes over to Lady Wang and Lady Wang summoned Golden’s mother to come and fetch them.

What happened after that will be told in the following chapter.