第三十四回

第三十四回 魔头巧算困心猿 大圣腾那骗宝贝

却说那两个小妖，将假葫芦拿在手中，争看一会，忽抬头不见了行者。伶俐虫道：“哥呵，神仙也会打诳语。他说换了宝贝，度我等成仙，怎么不辞就去了？”精细鬼道：“我们相应便宜的多哩，他敢去得成？拿过葫芦来，等我装装天，也试演试演看。”真个把葫芦往上一抛，扑的就落将下来。慌得个伶俐虫道：“怎么不装！不装！莫是孙行者假变神仙，将假葫芦换了我们真的去耶？”精细鬼道：“不要胡说！孙行者是那三座山压住了，怎生得出？拿过来，等我念他那几句咒儿装了看。”这怪也把葫芦儿望空丢起，口中念道：“若有半声不肯，就上灵霄殿上，动起刀兵！”念不了，扑的又落将下来。两妖道：“不装！不装！一定是个假的！”

正嚷处，孙大圣在半空里听得明白，看得真实，恐怕他弄得时辰多了，紧要处走了风汛，将身一抖，把那变葫芦的毫毛收上身来，弄得那两妖四手皆空。精细鬼道：“兄弟，拿葫芦来。”伶俐虫道：“你拿着的。——天呀！怎么不见了？”都去地下乱摸，草里胡寻，吞袖子，揣腰间，那里得有？二妖吓得呆呆挣挣道：“怎的好！怎的好！当时大王将宝贝付与我们，教拿孙行者，今行者既不曾拿得，连宝贝都不见了。我们怎敢去回话？这一顿直直的打死了也！怎的好！怎的好！”伶俐虫道：“我们走了罢。”精细鬼道：“往那里走么？”伶俐虫道：“不管那里走罢。若回去说没宝贝，断然是送命了。”精细鬼道：“不要走，还回去。二大王平日看你甚好，我推一句儿在你身上。他若肯将就，留得性命；说不过，就打死，还在此间。莫弄得两头不着。去来！去来！”那怪商议了，转步回山。

行者在半空中见他回去，又摇身一变，变作苍蝇儿，飞下去，跟着小妖。你道他既变了苍蝇，那宝贝却放在何处？如丢在路上，藏在草里，被人看见拿去，却不是劳而无功？他还带在身上。带在身上呵，苍蝇不过豆粒大小，如何容得？原来他那宝贝，与他金箍棒相同，叫做如意佛宝，随身变化，可以大，可以小，故身上亦可容得。他嘤的一声飞下去，跟定那怪。

不一时，到了洞里，只见那两个魔头，坐在那里饮酒。小妖朝上跪下，行者就钉在那门柜上，侧耳听着。小妖道：“大王。”二老魔即停杯道：“你们来了？”小妖道：“来了。”又问：“拿着孙行者否？”小妖叩头，不敢声言。老魔又问，又不敢应，只是叩头。问之再三，小妖俯伏在地：“赦小的万千死罪！赦小的万千死罪！我等执着宝贝，走到半山之中，忽遇着蓬莱山一个神仙。他问我们那里去，我们答道，拿孙行者去。那神仙听见说孙行者，他也恼他，要与我们帮工。是我们不曾叫他帮工，却将拿宝贝装人的情由，与他说了。那神仙也有个葫芦，善能装天。我们也是妄想之心，养家之意：他的装天，我的装人，与他换了罢。原说葫芦换葫芦，伶俐虫又贴他个净瓶。谁想他仙家之物，经不得凡人之手。正试演处，就连人都不见了。万望饶小的们死罪！”老魔听说，暴躁如雷道：“罢了！罢了！这就是孙行者假妆神仙骗哄去了！那猴头神通广大，处处人熟，不知那个毛神放他出来，骗去宝贝！”

二魔道：“兄长息怒。叵耐那猴头着然无礼，既有手段，便走了也罢，怎么又骗宝贝？我若没本事拿他，永不在西方路上为怪！”老魔道：“怎生拿他？”二魔道：“我们有五件宝贝，去了两件，还有三件，务要拿住他。”老魔道：“还有那三件？”二魔道：“还有七星剑与芭蕉扇在我身边，那一条幌金绳，在压龙山压龙洞老母亲那里收着哩。如今差两个小妖，去请老母来吃唐僧肉，就教他带幌金绳来拿孙行者。”老魔道：“差那个去？”二魔道：“不差这样废物去！”将精细鬼、伶俐虫一声喝起。二人道：“造化！造化！打也不曾打，骂也不曾骂，却就饶了。”二魔道：“叫那常随的伴当巴山虎、倚海龙来。”二人跪下，二魔分付道：“你却要小心。”俱应道：“小心。”“却要仔细。”俱应道：“仔细。”又问道：“你认得老奶奶家么？”又俱应道：“认得。”“你既认得，你快早走动，到老奶奶处，多多顶上[1]，说请吃唐僧肉哩，就着带幌金绳来，要拿孙行者。”

二怪领命疾走，怎知那行者在旁，一一听得明白。他展开翅，飞将去，赶上巴山虎，钉在他身上。行经二三里，就要打杀他两个，又思道：“打死他，有何难事？但他奶奶身边有那幌金绳，又不知住在何处。等我且问他一问再打。”好行者，嘤的一声，躲离小怪，让他先行有百十步，却又摇身一变，也变做个小妖儿，戴一顶狐皮帽子，将虎皮裙子倒插上来勒住，赶上道：“走路的，等我一等。”那倚海龙回头问道：“是那里来的？”行者道：“好哥啊，连自家人也认不得？”小妖道：“我家没有你。”行者道：“怎么没我？你再认认看。”小妖道：“面生，面生，不曾相会。”行者道：“正是。你们不曾会着我，我是外班的。”小妖道：“外班长官，是不曾会。你往那里去？”行者道：“大王说差你二位请老奶奶来吃唐僧肉，教他就带幌金绳来，拿孙行者。恐你二位走得缓，有些贪顽，误了正事，又差我来催你们快去。”小妖见说着海底眼[2]，更不疑惑，把行者果认做一家人，急急忙忙，往前飞跑。一气又跑有八九里，行者道：“忒走快了些。我们离家有多少路了？”小怪道：“有十五六里了。”行者道：“还有多远？”倚海龙用手一指道：“乌林子里就是。”行者抬头见一带黑林不远，料到那老怪只在林子里外。却立定步，让那小怪前走，即取出铁棒，走上前，着脚后一刮，可怜忒不禁打，就把两个小妖刮做一团肉饼，却拖着脚，藏在路旁深草科里。即便拔下一根毫毛，吹口仙气，叫：“变！”变做个巴山虎，自身却变做个倚海龙。假妆做两个小妖，径往那压龙洞请老奶奶。这叫做七十二变神通大，指物腾那手段高。

三五步跳到林子里，正找寻处，只见有两扇石门半开半掩，不敢擅入，只得洋叫[3]一声：“开门！开门！”早惊动那把门的一个女怪，将那半扇儿开了，道：“你是那里来的？”行者道：“我是平顶山莲花洞里差来请老奶奶的。”那女怪道：“进去。”到了三层门下，闪着头，往里观看，又见那正当中高坐着一个老妈妈儿。你道他怎生模样？但见：

雪鬓蓬松，星光晃亮。脸皮红润皱文多，牙齿稀疏神气壮。貌似菊残霜里色，形如松老雨馀颜。头缠白练攒丝帕，耳坠黄金嵌宝环。

孙大圣见了，不敢进去，只在二门外仵[4]着脸，脱脱的哭起来。你道他哭怎的，莫成是怕他？就怕也便不哭，况先哄了他的宝贝，又打杀他的小妖，却为何而哭？他当时曾下九鼎油锅，就煠[5]了七八日也不曾有一点泪儿。只为想起唐僧取经的苦恼，他就泪出痛肠，故此便哭。心却想道：“老孙既显手段，变做小妖，来请这老怪，没有个直直的站了说话之理，一定见他磕头才是。我为人做了一场好汉，止拜了三个人：西天拜佛祖；南海拜观音；两界山师父救了我，我拜了他四拜。为他使碎六叶连肝肺，用尽三毛七孔心。一卷经能值几何？今日却教我去拜此怪。若不跪拜，必定走了风汛。——苦啊！算来只为师父受困，故使我受辱于人！”到此际也没及奈何，撞将进去，朝上跪下道：“奶奶磕头。”

那怪道：“我儿，起来。”行者暗道：“好！好！好！叫得结实！”老怪问道：“你是那里来的？”行者道：“平顶山莲花洞，蒙二位大王有令，差来请奶奶去吃唐僧肉，教带幌金绳，要拿孙行者哩。”老怪大喜道：“好孝顺的儿子！”就去叫抬出轿来。行者道：“我的儿啊！妖精也抬轿！”后壁厢即有两个女怪，抬出一顶香藤轿，放在门外，挂上青绢帏幔。老怪起身出洞，坐在轿里。后有几个小女怪，捧着减妆[6]，端着镜架，提着手巾，托着香盒，跟随左右。那老怪道：“你们来怎的？我往自家儿子去处，愁那里没人伏侍，要你们去献勤塌嘴[7]？都回去！关了门看家！”那几个小妖果俱回去，止有两个抬轿的。老怪问道：“那差来的叫做甚么名字？”行者连忙答应道：“他叫做巴山虎，我叫做倚海龙。”老怪道：“你两个前走，与我开路。”行者暗想道：“可是晦气！经倒不曾取得，且来替他做皂隶[8]！”却又不敢抵强，只得向前引路，大四声喝起[9]。

行了五六里远近，他就坐在石崖上，等候那抬轿的到了，行者道：“略歇歇如何？压得肩头疼啊。”小怪那知甚么诀窍，就把轿子歇下。行者在轿后，胸脯上拔下一根毫毛，变做一个大烧饼，抱着啃。轿夫道：“长官，你吃的是甚么？”行者道：“不好说。这远的路来请奶奶，没些儿赏赐，肚里饥了，原带来的干粮，等我吃些儿再走。”轿夫道：“把些儿我们吃吃。”行者笑道：“来么，都是一家人，怎么计较？”那小妖不知好歹，围着行者，分其干粮。被行者掣出棒，着头一磨，一个荡着的，打得稀烂，一个擦着的，不死还哼。那老怪听得人哼，轿子里伸出头来看时，被行者跳到轿前，劈头一棍，打了个窟窿，脑浆迸流，鲜血直冒。拖出轿来看处，原是个九尾狐狸。行者笑道：“造业畜！叫甚么老奶奶！你叫老奶奶，就该称老孙做上太祖公公是！”好猴王，把他那幌金绳搜出来，笼在袖里，欢喜道：“那泼魔纵有手段，已此三件儿宝贝姓孙了！”却又拔两根毫毛变做个巴山虎、倚海龙；又拔两根变做两个抬轿的；他却变做老奶奶模样，坐在轿里。将轿子抬起，径回本路。

不多时，到了莲花洞口，那毫毛变的小妖，俱在前道：“开门！开门！”内有把门的小妖，开了门道：“巴山虎、倚海龙来了？”毫毛道：“来了。”——“你们请的奶奶呢？”毫毛用手指道：“那轿抬的不是？”小怪道：“你且住，等我进去先报。”报道：“大王，奶奶来耶。”两个魔头闻说，即命排香案来接。行者听得，暗喜道：“造化！也轮到我为人了！我先变小妖，去请老怪，磕了他一个头；这番来，我变老怪，是他母亲，定行四拜之礼。虽不怎的，好道也赚他两个头儿！”好大圣，下了轿子，抖抖衣服，把那四根毫毛收在身上。那把门的小妖，把空轿抬入门里。他却随后徐行，那般娇娇啻啻[10]，扭扭捏捏，就像那老怪的行动，径自进去。又只见大小群妖，都来跪接，鼓乐箫韶，一派响亮，博山炉里，霭霭香烟。他到正厅中，南面坐下。两个魔头双膝跪倒，朝上叩头，叫道：“母亲，孩儿拜揖。”行者道：“我儿起来。”

却说猪八戒吊在梁上，哈哈的笑了一声。沙僧道：“二哥，好啊！吊出笑来也！”八戒道：“兄弟，我笑中有故。”沙僧道：“甚故？”八戒道：“我们只怕是奶奶来了就要蒸吃，原来不是奶奶，是旧话来了。”沙僧道：“甚么旧话？”八戒笑道：“弼马温来了。”沙僧道：“你怎么认得是他？”八戒道：“弯倒腰，叫‘我儿起来’，那后面就掬起猴尾巴子。我比你吊得高，所以看得明也。”沙僧道：“且不要言语，听他说甚么话。”八戒道：“正是，正是。”

那孙大圣坐在中间，问道：“我儿，请我来有何事干？”魔头道：“母亲啊，连日儿等少礼，不曾孝顺得。今早愚兄弟拿到东土唐僧，不敢擅吃，请母亲来献献生[11]，好蒸与母亲吃了延寿。”行者道：“我儿，唐僧的肉，我倒不吃，听见有个猪八戒的耳朵甚可，可割将下来整治整治我下酒。”那八戒听见慌了道：“遭瘟的！你来为割我耳朵的！我喊出来不好听呵！”

噫！只为呆子一句通情话，走了猴王变化的风。那里有几个巡山的小怪，把门的众妖，都撞将进来，报道：“大王，祸事了！孙行者打杀奶奶，他妆来耶！”魔头闻此言，那容分说，掣七星宝剑，望行者劈脸砍来。好大圣，将身一幌，只见满洞红光，预先走了。似这般手段，着实好耍子，正是那聚则成形，散则成气。唬得个老魔头魂飞魄散，众群精噬指[12]摇头。老魔道：“兄弟，把唐僧与沙僧、八戒、白马、行李都送还那孙行者，闭了是非之门罢。”二魔道：“哥哥，你说那里话？我不知费了多少辛勤，施这计策，将那和尚都摄将来。如今似你这等怕惧孙行者的诡谲，就俱送去还他，真所谓畏刀避剑之人，岂大丈夫之所为也？你且请坐勿惧。我闻你说孙行者神通广大，我虽与他相会一场，却不曾与他比试。取披挂来，等我寻他交战三合。假若他三战胜我不过，唐僧还是我们之食；如三战我不能胜他，那时再送唐僧与他未迟。”老魔道：“贤弟说得是。”教：“取披挂。”

众妖抬出披挂，二魔结束齐整，执宝剑出门外，叫声：“孙行者！你往那里走了？”此时大圣已在云端里，闻得叫他名字，急回头观看，原来是那二魔。你看他怎生打扮：

头戴凤盔欺腊雪，身披战甲幌镔铁。

腰间带是蟒龙筋，粉皮靴靿梅花折。

颜如灌口活真君，貌比巨灵无二别。

七星宝剑手中擎，怒气冲霄威烈烈。

二魔高叫道：“孙行者！快还我宝贝与我母亲来，我饶你唐僧取经去！”大圣忍不住骂道：“这泼怪物，错认了你孙外公！赶早儿送还我师父、师弟、白马、行囊，仍打发我些盘缠，往西走路。若牙缝里道半个‘不’字，就自家搓根绳儿去罢，也免得你外公动手。”二魔闻言，急纵云跳在空中，抡宝剑来刺。行者掣铁棒劈手相迎。他两个在半空中，这场好杀：

棋逢对手，将遇良才。棋逢对手难藏兴，将遇良才可用功。那两员神将相交，好便似南山虎斗，北海龙争。龙争处，鳞甲生辉；虎斗时，爪牙乱落。爪牙乱落撒银钩，鳞甲生辉支铁叶。这一个翻翻复复，有千般解数；那一个来来往往，无半点放闲。金箍棒，离顶门只隔三分；七星剑，向心窝惟争一蹍[13]。那个威风逼得斗牛寒，这个怒气胜如雷电险。

他两个战了有三十回合，不分胜负。

行者暗喜道：“这泼怪倒也架得住老孙的铁棒！我已得了他三件宝贝，却这般苦苦的与他厮杀，可不误了我的工夫？不若拿葫芦或净瓶装他去，多少是好。”又想到：“不好！不好！常言道：‘物随主便。’倘若我叫他不答应，却又不误了事业？且使幌金绳扣头罢。”好大圣，一只手使棒，架住他的宝剑，一只手把那绳抛起，刷喇的扣了魔头。原来那魔头有个《紧绳咒》，有个《松绳咒》，若扣住别人，就念《紧绳咒》，莫能得脱，若扣住自家人，就念《松绳咒》，不得伤身。他认得是自家的宝贝，即念《松绳咒》，把绳松动，便脱出来，反望行者抛将去，却早扣住了大圣。大圣正要使“瘦身法”，想要脱身，却被那魔念动《紧绳咒》，紧紧扣住，怎能得脱？褪至颈项之下，原是一个金圈子套住。那怪将绳一扯，扯将下来，照光头上砍了七八宝剑，行者头皮儿也不曾红了一红。那魔道：“这猴子，你这等头硬。我不砍你，且带你回去，再打你。将我那两件宝贝趁早还我！”行者道：“我拿你甚么宝贝，你问我要？”那魔头将身上细细搜检，却将那葫芦、净瓶都搜出来，又把绳子牵着，带至洞里道：“兄长，拿将来了。”老魔道：“拿了谁来？”二魔道：“孙行者。你来看，你来看。”老魔一见，认得是行者，满面欢喜道：“是他！是他！把他长长的绳儿拴在柱枓上耍子！”真个把行者拴住，两个魔头却进后面堂里饮酒。

那大圣在柱根下爬蹅，忽惊动八戒。那呆子吊在梁上，哈哈的笑道：“哥哥呵，耳朵吃不成了！”行者道：“呆子！可吊得自在么？我如今就出去，管情救了你们。”八戒道：“不羞！不羞！本身难脱，还想救人？罢！罢！罢！师徒们都在一处死了，好到阴司里问路！”行者道：“不要胡说！你看我出去。”八戒道：“我看你怎么出去。”那大圣口里与八戒说话，眼里却抹着那些妖怪。见他在里边吃酒，有几个小妖拿盘拿盏，执壶酾酒[14]，不住的两头乱跑，关防[15]的略松了些儿。他见面前无人，就弄神通，顺出棒来，吹口仙气，叫：“变！”即变做一个纯钢的锉儿，扳过那颈项的圈子，三五锉，锉做两段，扳开锉口，脱将出来，拔了一根毫毛，叫变做一个假身，拴在那里，真身却幌一幌，变做个小妖，立在旁边。八戒又在梁上喊道：“不好了！不好了！拴的是假货，吊的是正身！”老魔停杯便问：“那猪八戒吆喝的是甚么？”行者已变做小妖，上前道：“猪八戒撺道[16]孙行者教变化走了罢，他不肯走，在那里吆喝哩。”二魔道：“还说猪八戒老实，原来这等不老实！该打二十多嘴棍！”

这行者就去拿条棍来打，八戒道：“你打轻些儿，若重了些儿，我又喊起。我认得你！”行者道：“老孙变化，也只为你们，你怎么倒走了风息？这一洞里妖精都不认得，怎的偏你认得？”八戒道：“你虽变了头脸，还不曾变得屁股。那屁股上两块红不是？我因此认得是你。”行者随往后面，演到厨中，锅底上摸了一把，将两臀擦黑，行至前边。八戒看见，又笑道：“那个猴子去那里混了这一会，弄做个黑屁股来了。”

行者仍站在跟前，要偷他宝贝，真个甚有见识：走上厅，对那怪扯个腿子道：“大王，你看那孙行者拴在柱上，左右爬蹅，磨坏那根金绳，得一根粗壮些的绳子换将下来才好。”老魔道：“说得是。”即将腰间的狮蛮带解下，递与行者。行者接了带，把假妆的行者拴住，换下那条绳子，一窝儿窝儿笼在袖内；又拔一根毫毛，吹口仙气，变作一根假幌金绳，双手送与那怪。那怪只因贪酒，那曾细看，就便收下。这个是大圣腾那弄本事，毫毛又换幌金绳。

得了这件宝贝，急转身跳出门外，现了原身。高叫：“妖怪！”那把门的小妖问道：“你是甚人，在此呼喝？”行者道：“你快早进去报与你那泼魔，说者行孙来了。”那小妖如言报告。老魔大惊道：“拿住孙行者，又怎么有个者行孙？”二魔道：“哥哥，怕他怎的？宝贝都在我手里，等我拿那葫芦出去，把他装将来。”老魔道：“兄弟仔细。”二魔拿了葫芦，走出山门，忽看见与孙行者模样一般，只是略矮些儿。问道：“你是那里来的？”行者道：“我是孙行者的兄弟。闻说你拿了我家兄，却来与你寻事的。”二魔道：“是我拿了，锁在洞中。你今既来，必要索战，我也不与你交兵，我且叫你一声，你敢应我么？”行者道：“可怕你？叫上千声，我就答应你万声！”那魔执了宝贝，跳在空中，把底儿朝天，口儿朝地，叫声：“者行孙。”行者却不敢答应，心中暗想道：“若是应了，就装进去哩。”那魔道：“你怎么不应我？”行者道：“我有些耳闭，不曾听见。你高叫。”那怪物又叫声：“者行孙。”行者在底下掐着指头算了一算，道：“我真名字叫做孙行者，起的鬼名字叫做者行孙。真名字可以装得，鬼名字好道装不得。”却就忍不住，应了他一声。嗖的被他吸进葫芦去，贴上帖儿。原来那宝贝，那管甚么名字真假，但绰个应的气儿，就装了去也。

大圣到他葫芦里，浑然乌黑，把头往上一顶，那里顶得动，且是塞得甚紧，却才心中焦躁道：“当时我在山上，遇着那两个小妖，他曾告诵我说：不拘葫芦、净瓶，把人装在里面，只消一时三刻，就化为脓了，敢莫化了我么？”一条心又想着道：“没事！化不得我！老孙五百年前大闹天宫，被太上老君放在八卦炉中炼了四十九日，炼成个金子心肝，银子肺腑，铜头铁背，火眼金睛，那里一时三刻就化得我？且跟他进去，看他怎的。”

二魔拿入里面道：“哥哥，拿来了。”老魔道：“拿了谁？”二魔道：“者行孙。是我装在葫芦里也。”老魔欢喜道：“贤弟，请坐。不要动，只等摇得响再揭帖儿。”行者听得道：“我这般一个身子，怎么便摇得响？只除化成稀汁，才摇得响是，等我撒泡溺罢。他若摇得响时，一定揭帖起盖，我乘空走他娘罢！”又思道：“不好！不好！溺虽可响，只是污了这直裰。等他摇时，我但聚些唾津漱口，稀漓呼喇的，哄他揭开，老孙再走罢。”大圣作了准备，那怪贪酒不摇。大圣作个法，意思只是哄他来摇，忽然叫道：“天呀！孤拐都化了！”那魔也不摇。大圣又叫道：“娘啊！连腰截骨都化了！”老魔道：“化至腰时，都化尽矣。揭起帖儿看看。”

那大圣闻言，就拔了一根毫毛，叫：“变！”变作个半截的身子，在葫芦底上，真身却变做个蟭蟟虫儿，叮在那葫芦口边。只见那二魔揭起帖子看时，大圣早已飞出，打个滚，又变做个倚海龙。倚海龙却是原去请老奶奶的那个小妖，他变了站在旁边。那老魔扳着葫芦口，张了一张，见是个半截身子动耽，他也不认真假，慌忙叫：“兄弟，盖上！盖上！还不曾化得了哩！”二魔依旧贴上。大圣在旁暗笑道：“不知老孙已在此矣！”

那老魔拿了壶，满满的斟了一杯酒，近前双手递与二魔道：“贤弟，我与你递个钟儿。”二魔道：“兄长，我们已吃了这半会酒，又递甚钟？”老魔道：“你拿住唐僧、八戒、沙僧犹可，又索了孙行者，装了者行孙，如此功劳，该与你多递几钟。”二魔见哥哥恭敬，怎敢不接，但一只手托着葫芦，一只手不敢去接，却把葫芦递与倚海龙，双手去接杯，不知那倚海龙是孙行者变的。你看他端葫芦，殷勤奉侍。二魔接酒吃了，也要回奉一杯，老魔道：“不消回酒，我这里陪你一杯罢。”两人只管谦逊。行者顶着葫芦，眼不转睛，看他两个左右传杯，全无计较，他就把个葫芦揌入衣袖。拔根毫毛，变个假葫芦，一样无二，捧在手中。那魔递了一会酒，也不看真假，一把接过宝贝，各上席，安然坐下，依然叙饮。孙大圣撤身走过，得了宝贝，心中暗喜道：“饶这魔头有手段，毕竟葫芦还姓孙！”毕竟不知向后怎样施为，方得救师灭怪，且听下回分解。

[1] 顶上：即“拜上”。顶礼是佛教拜佛的最高敬礼。

[2] 海底眼：底细、隐秘、根底。

[3] 洋叫：假装叫。洋，同“佯”。

[4] 仵：同“捂”。

[5] 煠（zhá）：同“炸”。

[6] 减妆：梳头匣子。由于携带便利，也叫简妆。

[7] 塌嘴：就是多嘴。

[8] 皂隶：本指奴隶，后为衙门中差役的专称。

[9] 大四声喝起：古代官员出行，衙役在前面大喊四声“行人回避”等口号。

[10] 啻啻：犹滴滴。

[11] 献生：旧时打到猎物后，要先献给神灵或者尊长，叫献生。

[12] 噬指：咬手指头。形容畏惧的神态。

[13] 蹍（zhǎn）：这里是“（zhā）”字的音转。伸开手指量物的长短叫。这里形容距离很短。

[14] 酾（shī）酒：斟酒。

[15] 关防：防备警戒。

[16] 撺道：怂恿、调唆。

CHAPTER 34. The demon king’s plotting entraps Mind Monkey; The Great Sage, ever adroit, wangles the treasures.

We were telling you about those two little fiends who took the specious gourd in their hands and, for some time, fought to examine it. Raising their heads, they suddenly discovered that Pilgrim had vanished. “Elder Brother,” said Wily Worm, “even an immortal would lie. He said that after we had exchanged our treasures he would enlighten us to become immortals. Why did he leave without even telling us?” Sly Devil said, “When you tally up the score, we are the ones who have by far the greater gain. Why worry about his leaving? Give me the gourd. Let me store up Heaven, just for practice!” He indeed tossed the gourd up into the air, but it plopped down again immediately. “Why doesn’t it work?” asked a startled Wily Worm. “Could it be that Pilgrim Sun had changed into a false immortal and used a specious gourd to trade off our real one?” “Don’t talk nonsense!” said Sly Devil. “Pilgrim Sun is pinned down by those three mountains. How could he come out? Give it to me again. Let me recite those few words of the spell he said and see if it will store up Heaven.” Again the fiend tossed the gourd up into the air, crying, “If there is but half a ‘No,’ we shall ascend to the Divine Mists Hall and start a war.” Before he had even finished saying that, the thing plopped down again. “It doesn’t work! It doesn’t work!” shrieked the little fiends. “It’s got to be a fake!”

As they were clamoring like this, the Great Sage Sun saw and heard everything in midair. Fearing that they might learn the truth if they played with the thing too long, he shook his body and retrieved the piece of hair that had been changed into the gourd. The two fiends were left with four empty hands. “Brother,” said Sly Devil, “give me the gourd.” “You were holding it,” said Wily Worm. “My God! How come it disappeared?” They searched madly on the ground and in the bushes; they stuck their hands into their sleeves and slapped their waists. But there was nothing to be found. Stupefied, the two fiends mumbled, “What shall we do? What shall we do? The Great King at the time gave us the treasures and told us to capture Pilgrim Sun. Not only have we not caught Pilgrim Sun, but we have even lost the treasures now. How dare we go back to give our report? We will simply be beaten to death. What shall we do? What shall we do?”

After a while, Wily Worm said, “We’d better go.” “Where?” asked Sly Devil. “Never mind where,” said Wily Worm. “If we go back and say that we have no treasures, we will lose our lives for sure.” Sly Devil said, “Don’t run away, let’s go back instead. The Second Great King is ordinarily quite good to you; I’ll put a little blame on you. If he is in the mood to be somewhat lenient, our lives may be spared; if not, we’ll at least be beaten to death at home but we won’t be left dangling here. Let’s go. Let’s go.” After they had discussed the matter, the fiends began their walk back to their mountain.

When Pilgrim in midair saw them leaving, he shook his body again and changed into a fly to follow them. If he changed into a fly, you might ask, where did he put those treasures? If he left them by the road, or even if he hid them in the grass, people could pick them up if they saw them, and all his efforts would have been in vain. No, he had to take them with him, carrying the treasures on his body. But a fly is no bigger than the size of a pea. How could he carry them? The treasures, you see, were just like his golden-hooped rod; they were also called compliant Buddha-treasures. They would transform according to the size of the body: they could become large or small, and that was why even a tiny body like a fly could hold them. With a buzz, Pilgrim thus flew down and steadfastly followed the fiends till in no time they reached the cave.

The two head demons were sitting there and drinking wine when the little fiends faced them and knelt down. Pilgrim alighted on the door frame and listened. “Great Kings,” said the little fiends. “Have you returned?” said the second demon, putting down his cup. “Yes,” said the little fiends. “Have you caught Pilgrim Sun?” he asked again. The little fiends began to kowtow, not daring to make a sound. The old demon asked again, but they did not dare reply; all they did was to kowtow. Questioned again and again, they finally prostrated themselves on the ground and said, “Please pardon your little ones for the crime of ten thousand deaths! Please pardon your little ones for the crime of ten thousand deaths! When we took the treasures and reached the middle of the mountain, we ran into an immortal from Penglai Mountain. He inquired where we were going and we told him that we were going to catch Pilgrim Sun. When the immortal heard this, he said that he, too, was mad at Pilgrim Sun and wanted to give us assistance. We told him that there was no need for his assistance and explained how our treasures could store up humans. That immortal also had a gourd most capable of storing up Heaven. Moved by vain hopes and illicit desires, we thought we should exchange our treasures, which could only store up people, with his, which could store up Heaven. Originally, we wanted to exchange gourd for gourd, but Wily Worm decided to make good the deal by adding the pure vase. We had no idea that his immortal object could not be touched by the hands of the profane. Just as we were experimenting with it, it disappeared completely with the man, too. We beseech you to pardon our mortal offense.”

When the old demon heard this, he was so aroused that he bellowed thunderously, “Undone! Undone! This has to be Pilgrim Sun who masqueraded himself as an immortal to dupe them. That ape has great magic powers and vast acquaintances. I don’t know which clumsy deity has let him out, and he has wangled our treasures.”

The second demon said, “Don’t be so angry, Elder Brother. I didn’t expect that ape head to be so insolent. If he has the ability, he can escape and that’s all right. Why did he have to wangle our treasures? If I don’t catch him, I’ll never be a monster on this road to the West!” “How will you catch him?” asked the old demon. The second demon said, “We have five treasures; two are gone but we still have three others. We must make certain that Pilgrim Sun will be caught by one of these.” “Which three do we have now?” asked the old demon. “I still have with me the sword of the seven stars and the palm-leaf fan,” said the second demon, “but the yellow-gold rope is kept at the Crush-Dragon Cave of the Crush-Dragon Mountain, the place of our aged mother. We should now send two little fiends to invite mother to come to dine on the Tang Monk’s flesh, and tell her at the same time to bring that yellow-gold rope to capture Pilgrim Sun.” The old demon said, “Whom should we send?” “Not these useless creatures,” said the second demon, and then he shouted to them, “Get up!” “Lucky! Lucky!” said the two of them. “We were neither beaten nor scolded. We are let go just like that!”

The demon said, “Ask Hill-Pawing Tiger and Sea-Lolling Dragon, who often accompany me to come here.” The two little fiends arrived and knelt down. “You must be careful,” instructed the second demon. “We shall be careful,” they replied. “You two must be cautious.” “Yes, we shall be cautious,” they replied. “Do you know where the Old Madam’s home is?” asked the second demon again. “Yes, we do,” they replied. “If you do, get there quickly, and when you reach her house, inform her reverently that she is invited to come here to dine on the flesh of the Tang Monk. Tell her also to bring along the yellow-gold rope in order that we may catch Pilgrim Sun.”

The two little fiends obeyed and raced out of the cave; they did not know that Pilgrim on one side had heard everything clearly. Stretching his wings, he flew out of the cave, caught up with Hill-Pawing Tiger, and landed on his body. After they had gone for two or three miles, he was about to slay them when he thought to himself, “To kill them is hardly difficult, but that Old Madam of theirs has the yellow-gold rope, and I don’t know where she lives. Let me question them a bit first before I slaughter them.” Dear Pilgrim! He darted away with a buzz and allowed the little fiends to walk ahead for about a hundred steps. Then with one shake of his body he also changed into a little monster wearing a fox-skin cap and a tiger-skin kilt hitched up to the waist. Running up to them, he said, “You on the road, wait for me.”

Turning around, Sea-Lolling Dragon asked, “Where did you come from?” “Dear Brother,” said Pilgrim, “you can’t even recognize someone from the same clan?” “You are not in our clan,” said the little fiend. “What do you mean?” said Pilgrim. “Take another look.” “You don’t look familiar at all,” said the little fiend. “We haven’t met before.” “Indeed,” said Pilgrim, “you have never seen me. I belong to the external division.” The little fiend said, “I haven’t met any officer from the external division at all. Where are you going?” Pilgrim said, “The Great King told you two to invite Old Madam to dine on the flesh of the Tang Monk as well as to bring along the yellow-gold rope to capture Pilgrim Sun. But he fears that the two of you would not walk fast enough, and your love of play would delay this important enterprise. That’s why he sent me along also to tell you to hurry.” When the little fiends saw that his words went straight to the bottom of the truth, they did not suspect anything, thinking instead that Pilgrim indeed was a member of the same clan. Hurriedly, they sprinted forward for eight or nine miles.

“We have run too fast,” said Pilgrim. “How far have we gone since we left home?” “About sixteen miles,” said the little fiend. Pilgrim said, “How much farther do we have to go?” Pointing with his finger, Sea-Lolling Dragon said, “Inside the dark forest up ahead—that’s it.” Pilgrim raised his head and saw a large dark forest not far away, and he figured that the old fiend had to be within that vicinity. He stood still, allowing the other two little fiends to proceed; then he caught up with them and gave them a swiping blow with the iron rod. Alas, they were no match for the rod at all and were reduced instantly to two meat patties! Pilgrim picked them up and hid them inside some bushes by the road. Pulling off a piece of hair, he blew on it a magic breath, crying “Change!” It changed at once into Hill-Pawing Tiger, while he himself changed into Sea-Lolling Dragon. The two specious monsters then proceeded directly to the Dragon-Crushing Cave to invite the old madam. This is what we call

Seventy-two transformations—what magic might!

Ever adroit with things—such great ability!

With four, five leaps, he bounded right into the forest. As he was looking around, he saw two stone doors half-closed nearby. Not daring to enter abruptly, he had to call out, “Open the door, open the door.” A female monster standing guard inside opened wide the door and asked, “Where did you come from?” Pilgrim said, “I came from the Lotus-Flower Cave of the Level-Top Mountain with an invitation for Old Madam.” “Inside,” said the female monster. When Pilgrim reached the second door, he stuck his head inside to take a look and found an old woman sitting squarely in the middle. “How did she look?” you ask. You see

Snow-white hair all tousled,

And starlike eyes all aglow.

Her face, though ruddy, has many wrinkles;

She’s full of spirit though few teeth remain.

Charming—like the frosted chrysanthemum;

Rugged—like an old pine tree after rain.

A scarf of fine-spun white silk wraps her head,

And bejeweled gold rings hang from her ears.

After he had seen her, the Great Sage Sun did not go inside at once. Instead, he remained crestfallen outside the second door and began to weep silently. “Why did he weep?” you ask. Could it be that he was afraid of her? Even if he were, he would hardly weep. Moreover, he was courageous enough to have bilked the monsters of their treasures and slain the little fiends. Why then did he weep? In times past, he could have entered a giant tripod of boiling oil, and even if he had been fried for seven or eight days, he would not have shed half a tear. It was, however, the thought of the misery inflicted on him on account of the Tang Monk’s going to acquire scriptures that moved him to tears. He thought to himself, “If old Monkey had displayed his ability and changed into a little fiend to invite this aged monster, there would be absolutely no reason for him to speak standing up. I must kowtow when I see her! A hero all my life, I have only kowtowed to three persons: I bowed to Buddha of the Western Heaven, Guanyin of the South Sea, and four times to Master when he saved me at the Mountain of Two Frontiers. For him I have used up even my innards and my bowels! Ah, how much could a roll of scripture be worth? Yet, I’m forced to prostrate myself before this fiend today. If I don’t, I’ll be discovered for sure. O misery! In the last analysis, Master is in sad straits and that’s why I have to bear such humiliation.” When he came to that point in his thoughts, he had no choice but to race inside and kneel down, facing her. “Madam,” he said, “please receive my kowtow.”

The fiend said, “My child, stand up.” “Fine! Fine! Fine!” said Pilgrim to himself. “That’s an honest address!” “Where did you come from?” asked the old fiend. “From the Lotus-Flower Cave of the Level-Top Mountain,” said Pilgrim. “I received the order of the two Great Kings to invite Madam to go and dine on the flesh of the Tang Monk. You have also been requested to bring along the yellow-gold rope to catch Pilgrim Sun.” Exceedingly pleased, the old fiend said, “What filial sons!” She at once called for her sedan chair. “O my child!” said Pilgrim to himself. “Even monsters ride in sedan chairs!” From behind, two female monsters carried out a sedan chair made of fragrant rattan, on which they hung curtains of blue silk. The old fiend walked out of the cave and sat in the chair, followed by several little female monsters carrying toilet boxes, mounted mirrors, towels, and a perfume box. “Why did you all have to come out?” asked the old fiend. “I’m going to my own home, and you think that there will be no one there to serve me? We don’t need your big mouths there. Go back! Shut the doors and look after the house!” Those few little monsters indeed went back, and only two remained to pole the sedan chair. “What are the names of those two who have been sent here?” asked the old fiend. “He’s called Hill-Pawing Tiger,” said Pilgrim quickly, “and my name is Sea-Lolling Dragon.” The old fiend said, “Walk in front, the two of you. Shout and clear the way for me.” “This had to be my misfortune!” thought Pilgrim. “We have not yet acquired the scriptures, but I have to be her slave at this moment!” He did not dare refuse; walking ahead, he shouted to clear the way.

After they had gone for five or six miles, he sat down on a slab of stone to wait for the two carrying the sedan chair. When they arrived, Pilgrim said, “How about resting awhile? Your shoulders must be getting sore.” The little fiends did not suspect anything, of course, and they put down the sedan chair. Walking behind it, Pilgrim pulled off a piece of hair from his chest and changed it into a huge biscuit, which he held and began to munch on. “Officer,” said one of the chair carriers, “what are you eating?” “I’m embarrassed to tell you,” said Pilgrim, “but we have walked all this distance to invite Old Madam, and she didn’t give us any reward. I’m getting hungry, and that’s why I’m eating some of our own dried goods before we move again.” “Please give us some, too,” said the carriers. Pilgrim said, “Come on. We all belong to the same family. Why do you ask?” Not knowing any better, the little fiends both surrounded Pilgrim to divide the dried food. Whipping out his iron rod, Pilgrim gave their heads a terrific blow: the one hit directly was reduced at once to pulp, while the other who was swiped by the rod did not die immediately and was still moaning. When the old fiend heard someone moan and stuck her head out to look, Pilgrim leaped before the sedan chair and slammed the rod down on her head. Brains burst out and blood spurted in every direction from the gaping hole. Pilgrim dragged her from the sedan chair and discovered that she was a nine-tailed fox.1 “Cursed beast!” said Pilgrim, laughing. “Who are you that you should be called Old Madam? If you are addressed as Old Madam, you should call old Monkey as your great, grand ancestor!” Dear Monkey King! He searched and found the yellow-gold rope, which he stuffed into his own sleeve, saying happily, “Those lawless demons may be powerful, but three treasures now belong to him whose name is Sun.” He yanked off two pieces of hair (which he changed into Hill-Pawing Tiger and Sea-Lolling Dragon), and two more (which he changed into the fiends who carried the sedan chair). He himself changed into the form of the old woman and sat in the sedan chair. They then started out on the main road once more.

In a little while, they reached the entrance of the Lotus-Flower Cave. Those little fiends which were changed from the hairs cried out in front, “Open the door! Open the door!” The little fiends inside who were guarding the door opened it and said, “Hill-Pawing Tiger and Sea-Lolling Dragon, have you two returned?” “Yes,” said the pieces of hair. “Where is Old Madam whom you were to invite?” “Isn’t she there inside the sedan chair?” said the pieces of hair, pointing. “Stay here,” said one of the little fiends. “Let me go and report.” When the two head demons heard the announcement, “Great King, Old Madam has arrived,” they gave the order at once that an incense table be prepared to receive her. When Pilgrim heard this, he was delighted, saying to himself, “What luck! Now it’s my turn to be somebody! When I first changed into a little fiend to go invite that old monster, I kowtowed to her once. But now that I have changed into the old monster, who is supposed to be their mother, they must perform the ceremony of four bows. It may not be much, but I’m reaping the profit of two heads kowtowing to me!”

Dear Great Sage! He descended from the sedan chair and, shaking off the dirt from his clothes, retrieved the four pieces of hair onto his body. The little fiends who stood guard at the door carried the empty sedan chair inside, and he followed them slowly from behind, mincing all the while to imitate the gait of the old fiend. When they went inside, the entire flock of monsters, old and young, all came to receive him, as drums and flutes were played harmoniously and curls of fragrant smoke rose from the Boshan urn.2 He arrived at the main hall and sat down, facing south;3 the two head demons knelt before him and kowtowed, saying, “Mother, your children are bowing.” “My sons,” said Pilgrim, “please rise.”

We tell you now about Zhu Eight Rules, who, hanging there on the beam, suddenly let out a guffaw. “Second Brother,” said Sha Monk, “this is quite marvelous! They hang you till you laugh out loud!” “Brother,” said Eight Rules, “I have a reason for laughing.” Sha Monk asked, “What reason?” “We were afraid,” said Eight Rules, “that when Madam arrived, we would be steamed and eaten. Now I see that it’s not Madam; it’s the dear old thing.” “What dear old thing?” asked Sha Monk. “BanHorsePlague is here,” said Eight Rules, chuckling. Sha Monk said, “How could you recognize him?” “When he bent his back to return their greetings, saying, ‘My sons, please rise,’” said Eight Rules, “that monkey tail of his flipped up from behind. I’m hung higher than you, and that’s why I can see more clearly.” Sha Monk said, “Let’s not talk, let’s hear what he has to say.” “Exactly, exactly,” said Eight Rules.

Sitting in the middle, the Great Sage Sun asked, “My sons, why did you invite me here?” “Dear Mother,” said one of the demons, “for days your children have not had the opportunity to fulfill our filial responsibilities. This morning we managed to catch the Tang Monk from the Land of the East, but we dared not eat him all by ourselves. We therefore invited Mother to come so that he might be presented live to you, and then he will be steamed as your food to prolong your life.” “My sons,” said Pilgrim, “I’m not at all keen to dine on the Tang Monk’s flesh, but I hear that the ears of one Zhu Eight Rules are quite marvelous. Why don’t you cut them down and fix them up as appetizers for my wine?” Startled by what he heard, Eight Rules said, “Plague on you! Did you come here to cut down my ears? If I announce aloud who you are, it won’t sound very good!”

Alas! This one careless statement of Idiot at once unmasked the transformation of the Monkey King. Just then, a few little fiends who went to patrol the mountain and a few others who stood guard at the door all rushed in also, saying, “Great King, disaster! Pilgrim Sun has beaten to death Old Madam, and he disguised himself to come here.” When the head demon heard these words, he did not wait for any further report; pulling out his sword of seven stars, he slashed at the face of Pilgrim. Dear Great Sage! He shook his body once, and brilliant red light filled the cave as he made his escape. Such abilities made the whole episode fun and games for him. For truly he had mastered this secret: coming together he took on form, but dispersing he became ether. So shaken were the inhabitants of the cave that the old demon’s spirit left him, and the various monsters bit their fingers and shook their heads.

“Brother,” said the old demon, “take the Tang Monk, Sha Monk, Eight Rules, the white horse, and the luggage—take them all and return them to Pilgrim Sun. Let’s shut the door on conflict.” “What are you saying, Elder Brother?” said the second demon. “You have no idea how much effort I spent in devising this plan to bring back all those monks. And now intimidated by Pilgrim Sun’s trickery you want to return them to him unconditionally. You have become, in fact, a person who fears the knife and shuns the sword. Is that manliness? Sit down and don’t be afraid. I heard you say that Pilgrim Sun had vast magic powers; though I met him, I have yet to wage a contest with him. Bring me my armor. Let me fight three rounds with him: if he can’t defeat me in those three rounds, the Tang Monk is still our food. If I can’t prevail against him in those three rounds, there’s still time then for us to return the Tang Monk to him.” The old demon said, “You are right, Worthy Brother.” He ordered at once for the armor to be brought out.

After the various fiends hauled out his armor, the second demon suited up himself properly and walked out the door, holding the treasure sword. “Pilgrim Sun,” he cried, “where have you gone to?” At the time, you see, the Great Sage had already reached the edge of the clouds. When he heard his name called, he turned quickly and saw that it was the second demon. “How is he dressed?” you ask.

He wears a phoenix helmet whiter than snow

And an armor made of bright Persian steel.

The belt on his waist is dragon’s tendon.

Plum-flower shaped gaiters top his goat-skin boots.

He seems the living Lord of Libation Stream;4

He looks no different from Mighty Spirit.5

He holds in his hands the sword of seven stars,

Stern and imposing in a towering rage.

“Pilgrim Sun,” cried the second demon, “give us back quickly our mother and our treasures. I’ll let you and the Tang Monk go to acquire scriptures.” Unable to contain himself any longer, the Great Sage roared, “This impudent monster! You’ve made a mistake in thinking that your Grandpa Sun will let you go so easily! Return at once my master, my younger brothers, the white horse, and our luggage, and give us, moreover, some travel money for us to take on our road to the West. If half a ‘No’ leaks through your teeth, you might as well hang yourself with rope. That’ll save your Grandpa from having to raise his hands.” When the second demon heard these words, he leaped up to the clouds swiftly and stabbed with the sword. Pilgrim met him face to face with the uplifted iron rod, and it was some battle between the two of them in midair.

The chess master finding his match,

The general meeting a good warrior—

Finding his match the chess master can’t suppress his joy;

Meeting a good warrior the general must apply himself.

When those two divine fighters come together,

They seem like tigers brawling on South Mountain

Or dragons striving in North Sea.

As dragons strive,

Their scales sparkle;

When tigers brawl,

Teeth and claws strike madly.

Teeth and claws strike madly like silver hooks,

And sparkling scales upturn like iron leaves.

This one all in all

Uses a thousand ways to attack;

That one back and forth

Does not let up for half a moment.

The golden-hooped rod

Is only three-tenths of an inch from the head.

The seven-stars sword,

Poised at the heart, needs only one thrust.

The imposing air of this one chills the Great Dipper;

The angry breaths of that one menace like thunder.

The two of them fought for thirty rounds but no decision was reached.

Secretly delighted, Pilgrim said to himself, “This lawless monster does manage to withstand the iron rod of old Monkey. But I have already acquired three of his treasures. If I continue to fight bitterly like this with him, won’t it just delay what I want to do? Perhaps I should use the gourd or the pure vase to store him up.” He then thought further, “No good! No good! The proverb says, ‘Each thing has its master.’ If I call him and he doesn’t answer, it will just defeat my purpose. Let me use the yellow-gold rope to lasso his head.” Dear Great Sage! He used one hand to wield his iron rod while his other hand whipped out the rope and lassoed the demon’s head. The demon, however, knew a Tight-Rope Spell and a Loose-Rope Spell. If the rope had bound another person, he would recite the Tight-Rope Spell and that person would not be able to escape. But if the rope had been fastened on one of his own, he would recite the Loose-Rope Spell and no harm would come to the person. When he saw, then, that it was his own treasure, he recited at once the Loose-Rope Spell; the rope loosened itself and he came out of the noose. Taking the rope, he threw it at Pilgrim instead and it caught hold of the Great Sage instantly. The Great Sage was about to exercise his magic of thinning the body when the demon recited the Tight-Rope Spell and it had him firmly bound. It was impossible for him to escape, for when the rope was drawn down to his neck, one end of it changed into a gold ring tightly enclosing him. The fiend then gave the rope a tug and pulled Pilgrim down before he gave that bald head seven or eight blows with the sword. The skin on Pilgrim’s head did not even redden at all.

“This monkey,” said the demon, “has quite a hard head! I won’t hack at you anymore. Let me take you back to the cave first before I hit you again. But you’d better return my other two treasures right now.” “What treasures have I taken from you?” asked Pilgrim, “that you should ask me for them?” The demon searched Pilgrim carefully and found both the gourd and the vase. Using the rope as a leash, he brought Pilgrim back to the cave, saying, “Elder Brother, I’ve caught him.” The old demon said, “Whom did you catch?” “Pilgrim Sun!” said the second demon. “Come and look! Come and look!” The old demon took one look and recognized that it was indeed Pilgrim. He smiled happily and said, “It’s he! It’s he! Tie him up with a long rope to the pillar just for fun.” They indeed had Pilgrim tied to a pillar, after which the two demons went to the hall in the back to drink.

As the Great Sage was crawling around beneath the pillar, he was seen by Eight Rules. Hanging on the beam, Idiot laughed loudly, saying, “Elder Brother, you can’t quite manage to eat my ears!” “Idiot,” said Pilgrim, “are you comfortably hung up there? I’ll get out right now, and you can be certain that I’ll rescue all of you.” “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” asked Eight Rules. “You can’t even escape yourself, and you want to rescue others. O, let it be, let it be! Master and disciples might as well die together so that we could ask for our way in the Region of Darkness.” Pilgrim said, “Stop babbling nonsense! You watch me leave here.” “I’ll see how you leave here,” said Eight Rules. Though the Great Sage was talking to Eight Rules, his eyes were fixed on those two demons. He saw that they were drinking inside, and there were a few little fiends running madly back and forth to bring in the dishes and to pour wine. When their guard lapsed momentarily and no one stood near the Great Sage, he at once exercised his divine powers. Slipping out his rod, he blew on it, saying, “Change!” and it changed instantly into a file of pure steel. Gripping the gold ring on his neck, he filed it through with four or five strokes and freed himself by pulling the ring apart. Yanking off a piece of hair, he commanded it to change into a specious form of himself tied to the pillar; his true self, however, changed with one shake of the body into a little monster and stood to one side.

“Bad news! Bad news!” cried Eight Rules once more on the beam. “The one tied up is a false product. The one hanging is genuine.”

Putting down his cup, the old demon asked, “What’s that Zhu Eight Rules yelling about?” Pilgrim, who had changed into a little monster, went forward to say, “Zhu Eight Rules is trying to persuade Pilgrim Sun to escape by transformation, but Sun isn’t willing. That’s why Zhu is hollering.” “And we say that Zhu Eight Rules is without guile!” said the second demon. “Now I see what a sneak he is! He should have his mouth caned twenty times.”

Pilgrim indeed went to get a cane for the beating. “You’d better hit me lightly,” said Eight Rules. “If the strokes are even slightly heavy, I’ll yell again that I recognize you.” Pilgrim said, “It’s for the sake of all of you that old Monkey has undergone the transformation. Why did you have to let the truth leak out? All the monster-spirits of this cave can’t recognize me. Why does it have to be you who can recognize me?” “Though you have changed your features,” said Eight Rules, “your ass hasn’t been changed! Aren’t those two patches of red still on your buttocks? That’s why I can recognize you.” Pilgrim slipped out to the kitchen and wiped some soot off the pots to blacken his buttocks before returning to the front. When Eight Rules saw him, he said, chuckling, “This monkey must have gone somewhere to mess around so that he has now come back with a black ass!”

Pilgrim still remained standing there for he wanted to steal their treasures. Indeed a clever person, he walked up the hall and half-knelt to the fiend, saying, “Great King, look how that Pilgrim Sun is crawling all over the pillar. The yellow-gold rope, I fear, may be ruined by all that rubbing and stretching. We should get something thicker to tie him up.” “You are right,” said the old demon, and he took off a belt with a lion buckle from his own waist to hand to Pilgrim. Taking the belt, Pilgrim fastened his false form to the pillar, but the rope he stuffed instantly into his own sleeve. Then he pulled off another piece of hair, which with one blow of his breath he changed into a fake yellow-gold rope, and which he presented with both hands to the fiend. Eager only for his wine, the fiend did not bother to examine it before putting it away. This is what we mean by

The Great Sage, ever versatile, displays his skills:

The hair is now exchanged for the golden rope.

As soon as he had acquired this treasure, he leaped out the door and changed back into his true form. “Monster!” he shouted. A little fiend guarding the door asked, “Who are you, that you dare shout here?” “Go in quickly,” said Pilgrim, “and report to those lawless demons that a Grimpil Sun is here.” The little fiend indeed made the report as he was told.

Highly startled, the old demon said, “We have caught Pilgrim Sun already! How is it that there is a Grimpil Sun?” “Elder Brother,” said the second demon, “Why fear him? The treasures are all in our hands. Let me take the gourd out and have him stored up.” “Brother,” said the old demon, “do be careful.” The second demon took out the gourd and walked out the door, where he encountered someone who seemed to be an exact image of Pilgrim Sun but only a little shorter. “Where did you come from?” he asked. Pilgrim said, “I’m the brother of Pilgrim Sun. When I heard that you caught my elder brother, I came to settle the score with you.” “Yes, I caught him all right,” said the second demon, “and he’s locked up in the cave. Now that you have arrived, you want to fight with me, I suppose, but I won’t cross swords with you. Let me call your name once. Do you dare answer me?” “Even if you call me a thousand times, I won’t be afraid,” said Pilgrim. “I’ll answer you ten thousand times!”

Leaping into the air with his treasure held upside down, the demon called out, “Grimpil Sun!”

Pilgrim dared not reply, thinking to himself, “If I answer him, I’ll be sucked inside.”

“Why don’t you answer me?” said the demon.

“My ears are a little stuffed up,” said Pilgrim, “and I can’t hear you. Call louder.” The fiend indeed shouted, “Grimpil Sun!”

Squeezing his fingers together to do some calculations down below, Pilgrim thought to himself, “My real name is Pilgrim Sun, but this Grimpil Sun is a fake name that I’ve made up. With the real name I can be sucked inside, but how could it work with a false name?” He could not refrain from answering, and instantly he was sucked into the gourd, which was then sealed by the tape. That treasure, you see, had no regard for whether the name called out was true or false: if one even breathed an answer, one would be sucked inside instantly.

When the Great Sage arrived inside the gourd, he found only total darkness. He tried to push up with his head but to no avail at all, for whatever was stopping the mouth of the gourd was exceedingly tight. Growing anxious, he thought to himself, “Those two little fiends I met on the mountain at the time told me that if a man was sucked into either the gourd or the vase, he would be reduced to pus in one and three-quarter hours. Could I be dissolved like that?” He thought further to himself, “It’s nothing. I can’t be dissolved! When old Monkey caused great disturbance in the Celestial Palace five hundred years ago and was refined for forty-nine days in the eight-trigram brazier of Laozi, the process in fact gave me a heart strong as gold and viscera hardy as silver, a bronze head and an iron back, fiery eyes and diamond pupils. How could I be reduced to pus in one and three-quarter hours? Let me follow him inside and see what he does.”

The second demon went inside with the gourd, saying, “Elder Brother, I’ve caught him.” “Caught whom?” asked the old demon. The second demon said, “Grimpil Sun has been stored up in the gourd by me.” Delighted, the old demon said, “Worthy Brother, please take a seat. Don’t move the gourd. We’ll shake it after awhile and we’ll lift the seal only if it swashes.” Hearing this, Pilgrim thought to himself, “If my body remains like this, how could it swash? I have to be reduced to liquid before the gourd can swash when shaken. Let me leave some urine here; when he shakes it and it swashes, he will certainly lift up the seal and I can then beat it!” But he thought again, “No good! No good! The urine can make the noise, but my shirt will be soiled. I’ll wait until he shakes the gourd, and then I’ll spit out a lot of saliva. All that drippy mess will deceive him into lifting the seal, and old Monkey can then escape.” The Great Sage made this preparation, but the fiend was busy drinking and did not try to shake the gourd at all. Devising another plan to deceive them, the Great Sage suddenly cried out, “Heavens! My shanks have dissolved!” The demons did not shake the gourd, and the Great Sage cried out again, “O Mother! Even my pelvic bones are gone!” “When his waist is gone,” said the old demon, “he’s almost finished. Lift up the seal and take a look.”

When the Great Sage heard this, he pulled off a piece of hair, crying “Change!” It changed into half a body stuck at the bottom of the gourd, while his true self was changed into a tiny insect attached to its mouth. As soon as the second demon lifted up the seal, the Great Sage flew out at once and with a roll changed instantly again into the form of Sea-Lolling Dragon, that little fiend who was sent formerly to fetch the Old Madam. He stood to one side, while the old demon took hold of the gourd and peered inside. Half a body was squirming down below, and he did not wait to determine whether it was genuine or not before he shouted, “Brother, cover it up, cover it up! He hasn’t been completely dissolved yet.” The second demon again taped on the seal, not realizing that the Great Sage on one side was snickering to himself, saying, “You don’t know that old Monkey is right over here!”

Taking the wine pot, the old demon poured a full cup of wine and presented it with both hands to the second demon, saying, “Worthy Brother, let me toast you with this cup.” The second demon said, “Elder Brother, we have drunk wine for quite a while already. Why do you have to toast me with the cup now?” “It’s no big thing, perhaps, that you caught the Tang Monk, Eight Rules, and Sha Monk,” said the old demon, “but you even managed to tie up Pilgrim Sun and store up Grimpil Sun. For making such great merit, you should be toasted with many cups more.” When the second demon saw how his elder brother sought to honor him, he dared not refuse, but he dared not accept the cup with one hand either, for he was holding the gourd with the other. Quickly passing the gourd to Sea-Lolling Dragon, he then received the cup with both hands. Little did he realize, of course, that Sea-Lolling Dragon was in fact the transformed Pilgrim Sun. Look at him! He waited on the demons with great attentiveness. After the second demon took the wine and drank it, he wanted to return the toast. “No need to toast me,” said the old demon. “Here, I’ll drink a cup with you.”

The two of them kept exchanging niceties like that for some time, while Pilgrim, holding the gourd, fixed his eyes on them. When he saw them passing the wine cup back and forth without the slightest regard for what he was doing, he slipped the gourd into his sleeve and used another piece of hair to form a specious gourd exactly the same as the genuine one. The demon, after presenting wine for awhile, took the gourd out of Pilgrim’s hands without bothering to examine it. They sat down at their tables again and continued to drink as before. Having acquired the treasure again, the Great Sage turned and left, highly delighted and saying to himself,

Though this demon has his wizardry,

The gourd’s still owned by the Sun family!

We do not know what he had to do thereafter to exterminate the fiends and rescue his master; let’s listen to the explanation in the next chapter.